


Nukume Dori - Conflict

by Leareth



Series: Nukume Dori [2]
Category: CLAMP - Works, Tokyo Babylon, X -エックス- | X/1999
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Drama & Romance, Epic, Gen, M/M, Time Travel Fix-It, Tokyo (City)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2014-07-15
Packaged: 2018-02-09 00:24:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 91,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1961922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leareth/pseuds/Leareth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The cases of Dream, Call, Crime, and Save are relived. Subaru wants to make things better for everyone, but sometimes ends up doing the opposite. And all the while, there are increasingly uncomfortable questions being asked by Hokuto and Seishirou. Particularly Seishirou.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You know about the Sakurazukamori, don't you, Subaru-san. The assassins that use onmyoujitsu to kill. Even we the Sumeragi do not know the whole truth about them."

The warm, slightly tangy scent of tea wafted through the late autumn air, adding to the aura of peace and serenity that pervaded the Sumeragi family home. Leafy trees shaded the lake beyond the veranda, the water rippling with an errant breeze that spun the clouds into translucent veils in the blue sky. There was no sign of any servant around, and even if had been the men and women who attended the Sumeragi were as collected and dignified as the family members themselves. The whole atmosphere of the room – indeed, the entire compound, a little piece of old Japan in a time where the past retreated further and further away – radiated the most utmost sense of calm.

Subaru was anything but calm.

The thirteenth head of the Sumeragi clan knelt on a cushion that wasn't quite thick enough to counteract the hardness of the tatami-covered floor. In front of him his grandmother was performing a tea ceremony, slowly, like an artist arranging a tiny bonsai. Subaru was far too polite and well-trained to fidget however his eyes roamed restlessly. He tried to find something to focus on, but there wasn't much. Everything in the room was elegantly simple, designed to give the impression of quiet wealth and heavy tradition. The impression didn't really work on him anymore – Subaru had grown up in this house, had his earliest lessons in this very room.

Despite its familiarity and comfort, it was Subaru's being here in the first place that was the entire reason for inner agitated state.

He let his gaze and thoughts drift from the woman seated in front of him. Not three days ago, the very Friday after which he had woken to find himself and his entire world nine years in the past, he had received a call from the Sumeragi main house asking why he wasn't in Kyōto as expected to perform the shrine purifications in preparation for the anticipated influx of proud parents and young children on the weekend. Since the unknown force that had brought Subaru back to his past had not included a corresponding work schedule in his memory Subaru had been forced to improvise an excuse of absentmindedness and, in the flustered conversation that followed, assure that he would take the next train out and fulfil his duties that afternoon. The only reason why he had been able to keep this assurance was because Hokuto managed to call up and charm the ticket office into booking him a last-minute seat to Kyōto and send him flying out of the apartment and into a taxi to Shinagawa station with a travel bag packed in record time. Thankfully two hours on a shinkansen was more than enough for Subaru to centre himself despite wondering what else could go wrong as he fit himself back into his old life, so that by the time he got to Kyōto after lunch he was ready for work. The smaller shrines were taken care of by lesser onmyouji, but the large ones were adamant that no less a personage than the Sumeragi Head should attend to them, meaning that the moment Subaru left the train station he found himself in one of the Sumeragi household cars being whisked from Inari to Yasaka and the Heian. After the Kamo Wake-Ikuzuhi shrine Subaru wanted nothing more than Hokuto's cooking and bed, and given a choice would have returned home to Tokyo immediately. Kyōto, however, was also home, the family traditional home, and it was impossible for Subaru to step foot in the city without paying his respects unless he was prepared to endure months of rebuke, so it had been to there he had gone. Upon arrival at the Sumeragi estate he'd found a bath drawn and his rooms prepared, awkwardly cutting off any attempt he would have made to get back to Tokyo that night. Any further attempt to go back first thing in the morning was also shot down when the servant who brought his dinner also brought the message to sleep early and rest, and that he would be seeing his grandmother after tomorrow's breakfast.

Subaru hadn't slept well that night. Worn out as he was, he'd watched the shadows of leaves and branches slide over the shoji screens and nervously counted hours and minutes. Adding in travel time, this unexpected trip meant Subaru would be spending almost two days away from Tokyo. Two days, nearly forty-eight hours in which he'd be separated from his sister. Subaru hadn't even had a proper time alone with Hokuto yet, and already he had had to leave her.

But it wasn't just that which was upsetting him. It was the fact that he had left Hokuto alone in Tokyo with an assassin for company.

"Is something the matter?"

Subaru jumped slightly at the sudden speech in the quiet room – so much for his pretence at being focused – and quickly lowered his eyes to his gloved hands folded in his lap. "N-no," he mumbled before he could compose himself properly, then added a mental curse to himself for the slip. He fervently hoped it wasn't noticed, and bowed his head further.

There was a still, almost sleepy silence, but no answer. Subaru held his breath as the sound of tea being poured trickled through his ears. He lifted his gaze a little to look at the weathered pair of hands stirring the tea in the bowl. Then, just as he began to fear more uncomfortable questions, the room's other occupant spoke again.

"So how is work?"

Subaru blinked at the unexpected change of subject. "Um, it's all right," he said vaguely. It was all right, wasn't it? Even after Hokuto had … died, Subaru had still worked, and worked well. He hadn't enjoyed it, but that was beside the point. What mattered was that despite his hardships Subaru had upheld his family's reputation.

A bowl of tea was placed by his knee. Feeling a little braver, Subaru straightened to face his grandmother.

Lady Sumeragi, it seemed, didn't change at all with time. For as long as Subaru could remember she had always worn the traditional kimono, or if not that, the robes of an onmyouji. Her hair was as white as freshly fallen snow, and her face, although lined with age, held a sort of timelessness that seemed to say that just as she had seen Subaru's beginning she would also see his end. She was as regal as any emperor, and Subaru at sixteen had never thought of her as old before.

The Subaru now, thinking back to those nine years now regained, felt a sad twinge of guilt as he superimposed his memory of her then over the face in front of him. In those nine years it was as if she had aged ninety. The death of her granddaughter had been bad enough, but watching Subaru willingly follow the path to self-destruction had hurt her even more. Even though Subaru had known what pain his wish would give his grandmother, he had pursued it anyway.

 _But that was then,_ Subaru told himself silently as he accepted his tea. _I have a reason to live now._

"There was a letter from the Ministry of Health and Welfare for you," continued Lady Sumeragi, interrupting Subaru's internal amendment. "He thanks you for the Tokyo Tower job the other day.

 _Tokyo Tower job? What Tokyo Tower job?_ Unable to think of a proper answer, Subaru simply said, "Oh," and hoped that was the end of the subject. Unfortunately, it was not.

"I heard there was a young gentleman with you when you did the exorcism," his grandmother said, seemingly off-hand but the subtle flick of an eye at his face said otherwise. "Friend of yours?"

Subaru frantically tried to remember what she was talking about. Tokyo Tower, exorcism, friend … oh, now he remembered. That girl, the failed actress who committed suicide and whose spirit haunted the Tower. He and his friend had talked to her …

Friend …

 

_"Subaru-kun."_

_"Seishirou-san?"_

_"Do you think I'm sexy?"_

 

Subaru was blushing before he realised it. What would his grandmother say if she knew the company Subaru was keeping? "Uh …"

"I don't know the circumstances, but it's not good to have civilians present when you work," the aged twelfth head of the Sumeragi chided. "Thankfully Tokyo Tower wasn't a difficult exorcism, but it would have been a problem if anything had happened to your companion."

Subaru lifted his bowl to his lips again, thus hiding his sardonic smile. He knew first-hand what the Sakurazukamori was capable of. _I don't need to worry about anything happening to Seishirou-san, do I. He can most definitely take care of himself._

_And not just himself …_

Something niggled at the back of Subaru's memory, but when he tried to catch it, he couldn't remember what it was. Even as he tried to chase it, it was pushed to the side as Subaru's inner fear rose again. _Seishirou is an assassin, fully capable of murder – what if he does something to Hokuto-chan while I am gone? And I'm in Kyōto, I won't know until it's too late._

No matter how many times his mind told him not to worry, that last time, the first time this day had passed, nothing had happened, Subaru was itching to return. What was keeping him here?

"You're the thirteenth head of the Sumeragi, Subaru-san," said his grandmother, her aged and modulated words breaking into his thoughts.

_Duty. That is what keeps me here._

Subaru looked at his grandmother, her back perfectly straight, the kimono she was clothed in calling up echoes of a time long ago. He often wondered about her, how she could devote her entire life, her entire being to this one thing—

"We Sumeragi have spiritually protected Japan for centuries, but we also have an important duty to oversee how onmyoujitsu is used by others."

—without longing for something else.

"Are you listening to me, Subaru-san?"

Caught out, Subaru hastily rearranged himself and his thoughts into a manner more befitting a quiet, obedient sixteen-year old. "Yes, Obaa-chan," he mumbled, chastened.

Lady Sumeragi was understandably not pleased. "You have let your discipline slip, grandson." Her eyes, dulled slightly by age but still sharp, bored into him. "You, more than anyone else, must have complete control over yourself. The strength of your spiritual power, even amongst our family, is very rare, so you must exercise caution around other people."

Subaru's mouth tightened slightly. How many times had he heard this lecture, about his power, this one thing that separated him from everyone else, and, either directly or a roundabout way, had been the cause of all his troubles. It wasn't as if he had _asked_ for it or anything. "Yes, Obaa-chan," Subaru said, with only the slightest hint of a sigh.

Perhaps satisfied with his response, Lady Sumeragi poured herself more tea. "Now, about the Sakurazukamori," she began.

Subaru looked up, interest caught for once. "What about him?" he asked coolly.

The old hands stopped with the abruptness of a party silenced by a dropped glass. Although he couldn't see his grandmother's face, hidden as it was in the shadow of her hair, Subaru had the distinct impression that her eyes were trying to penetrate him. Subaru gave no to reaction to this, but rather, drew on the experience his sixteen-year-old image did not have to wall off any probing gaze.

It worked. "You know about the Sakurazukamori, don't you, Subaru-san," his grandmother continued as if nothing had happened. "The assassins that use onmyoujitsu to kill. Even we the Sumeragi do not know the whole truth about them."

Subaru was unable to control himself at this and burst out laughing. Lady Sumeragi was taken quite aback. "This is no laughing matter, Subaru-san!" she snapped as her grandson tried to control himself. "Yesterday I received a visit from an inspector of the Cabinet. He feared the recent unnatural death of a politician might be due to the Sakurazukamori."

Subaru's dark mirth stopped as abruptly as it had begun. His heart caught, and his gloved hands tightened.

_Seishirou-san …_

More reminders, of the danger he was courting. Not that he really needed reminding. And he had left Hokuto with that man …

"What is the matter with you today, Subaru-san?" Lady Sumeragi, seated as if though on a throne, looked down at her errant grandson. "You almost don't seem like yourself."

Slowly, Subaru looked up.

"I've had a stressful week."

 

* * *

 

Subaru had taken the afternoon train home. During the shinkansen's journey he had had ample time to berate himself over his interview with Lady Sumeragi. The twelfth head of the Sumeragi clan had known that something was not right with him; he may have deflected all her questions, but there was no way he could assuage his grandmother's suspicions about his strange, out-of-character behaviour. But he was back in Tokyo now, and Subaru didn't care about that anymore. As soon as he got out of the taxi he flew up the stairs to his floor and banged on the door of his sister's apartment.

"Hokuto-chan!"

No answer. Leather gloves making his hands slippery, Subaru fumbled in the pocket of his close-fitting pants for his keys. It seemed to take an age to turn the lock but finally he managed it. Throwing the door wide he stumbled in. The apartment was dark, lit only by the lights of the city beyond the window. Finding his way to the light switch Subaru flicked on the ceiling lights of the hall, then the kitchen, then the bathroom. He ran to each room, turning on the lights like some child left home alone and afraid of the night.

There was no one home.

Standing in the middle of Hokuto's wardrobe room, Subaru tried to ignore the pounding of his heart. He especially tried to ignore memories of blood-soaked white cloth. Where was his sister? He knew that Hokuto often went out alone to the city at night and came back late. The fears that always followed young girls in the city never had any hold on her, not with her training in martial arts and onmyoujitsu. There was nothing suspicious about her not being home at this time of night.

All this self-reassurance wasn't working.

Subaru ran to the phone. Grabbing it, he was about to press a number only to realise that he didn't know the numbers of any of Hokuto's friends. He did know one number, though.

Subaru stared at the phone. Almost against his will, his gloved finger pressed the first few buttons that formed the number of Seishirou's apartment. When he reached the last digit, he found he couldn't make himself complete the call.

_Press it._

He did.

Subaru lifted the phone to his ear, hand shaking. The neutral ringing echoed through the apartment for several long seconds.

Then,

"Hello?"

Subaru slammed the phone down.

He squeezed his eyes shut. Breathing hard, Subaru clenched the phone cradle for support. Suddenly he wanted to get out of his sister's apartment. Leaving all the lights on, he ran out the door and across the hall to his own apartment and bedroom. His clothes weren't exactly sleep-wear; Subaru changed into his pajamas in record time and threw himself into bed, pulling the blanket over his head like a young child trying to hide.

Amazingly, he fell asleep immediately.

 

* * *

 

_"I will never let you kill Subaru. I swear I will not let that happen."_

_Two figures, one in white, one in black, beneath the shade of a beautiful sakura tree. Both equally loved …_

_"You can't defeat me."_

_"… I know."_

_… both there because of him._

_"So, I want you to kill me."_

_Blood, so red on white and black and palest pink—_

 

" _Hokuto-chan!_ "

Subaru jerked himself awake, only to realise it was a dream.

No, not a dream. A memory.

The clock on his bedside table said that it was seven o'clock in the morning. Subaru looked at it, flopped back into his pillow and let out a deep, shuddering breath. Then he remembered. He was about to leap out of bed to run to his sister's apartment, when a funny sound made him pause.

Subaru stared at his quilt. It was … moving. There was something that sounded strangely like giggles coming from underneath it too.

Heart pounding in fearful expectation, Subaru grabbed the end of his quilt in one gloved hand and snatched it away. "Who's there!"

It may not have been what he was expecting, but it still almost gave him a heart-attack.

"Ohohoho!" Hokuto's tousled head popped out from beneath the sheets, the many frilly layers of her Elizabethan-themed costume rustling. "What kind of an onmyouji are you if you're so careless as to let intruders get this close?"

Subaru didn't know whether to strangle her or hug her. "Hokuto-chan!"

The shocks weren't over yet.

"Oo~oh, so you wear polka-dots to bed, Subaru-kun!"

Seishirou's head and shoulders emerged from the bed-covers, a naughty little smile on his handsome face.

"WAH!"

Subaru scooted to the other side of the bed as fast as he could, while his sister and friend sat on his rumpled quilt and laughed at him like they had last time. Subaru sighed, almost exhausted with relief that Hokuto was safe, and annoyance at himself for being so paranoid. Sometimes he really wished his memory were better.

"We came in to wish you good morning!" chortled Hokuto, bouncing a little on her brother's mattress. Still smiling, Seishirou extricated himself from the quilt and rearranged himself to sit in a more dignified position. "I called Sei-chan to come over as well because you two should really get used to having breakfast together!"

Subaru turned flaming red. "Hokuto-chan!"

His sister waved off his embarrassment and slid off the bed. "I've got your clothes ready, so get changed while I make breakfast." She shot an arch grin at Seishirou. "And Sei-chan, no, you can't stay and watch my brother undress."

Seishirou turned to her, an innocent smile on his face. "Was I thinking that?"

"Yes," the twins replied.

The vet gave a good-natured laugh at this, but pretended to be mournful as Hokuto pulled him out of Subaru's bedroom. Subaru watched them go, still a little apprehensive at the sight of his sister dragging the Sakurazukamori by the hand, but glad he had space to collect himself. Waking up to find Seishirou in his bed had been a nasty shock but at least the fears that had given him nightmares last night had been groundless.

He should have known that in the first place.

Subaru turned his attention to his sister's choice of wardrobe for him that she had hung on the door-handle. All black today, flexible stretchy cloth matching the colour of his hair and gloves that would fit him like a second skin, showing the world just how slight he was. Subaru sighed. He would do anything for his sister, but really … Subaru pulled the clothes off the hanger and began to dress. By the time he was prepared to face the day, his stomach was complaining about its lack of attention. Subaru gave himself a final check-over so that Hokuto would have nothing to correct, then took a deep, settling breath before making his way to the kitchen where Hokuto and Seishirou were waiting for him.

"Perfect timing!" his sister greeted as she placed two bowls of soup on the bench. "Come eat your breakfast!"

Subaru moved to obey, but hesitated slightly when he noticed Hokuto had put him next to Seishirou. The man didn't notice his reticence, but began cheerily eating. Telling himself to act natural Subaru gingerly sat on the stool next to the Sakurazukamori. Besides, his sister's breakfast smelt wonderful. How she could be so active in the mornings when she stayed up late so often he didn't know. " _Itadakimasu._ What time did you get back last night, Hokuto-chan?" he asked as he picked up his chopsticks.

Hokuto leaned her elbows on the kitchen counter and rested her chin in her hands. "Way after you went to sleep. And yet I still woke up earlier than you!"

"Subaru-kun was probably exhausted after his trip, Hokuto-chan," said Seishirou. "He didn't even wake up when you stubbed your toe and squeaked in his bedroom."

"I did not squeak! Speaking of which, Subaru, how could you just let people sneak into your bed like that? You should be able to sense an enemy trying to get you!" said Hokuto, skilfully changing the subject back to her brother.

Subaru primly ate some rice. "You're not my enemy, Hokuto-chan, so I didn't sense you—" He stopped at that. Why hadn't he sensed Seishirou either? There was no doubt that the Sakurazukamori was his enemy, and yet Subaru's defences hadn't reacted to the man's presence at all.

"You idiot!" Hokuto glared at him. "What if Sei-chan came to pay you a midnight visit?" Subaru nearly choked at such a thought – he wouldn't put it past the man to do something as creepy as that, would he? _Had_ Seishirou done such a thing the first time the year of the Bet had passed? Subaru told himself not to be ridiculous, but then again, the Sakurazukamori _was_ capable of altering memories of others … suddenly Subaru didn't feel like eating anymore.

"And what about those gloves?" continued Hokuto in full gear. Having worked herself into a rant, she wasn't about to stop now. "I didn't know you wore them to sleep as well!"

Getting a hold of himself Subaru lifted a slim hand and inspected its covering, tugging a little at the material to make it sit properly. "You know I'm not allowed to take them off, Hokuto-chan, Obaa-chan won't let me." Subaru gave a side-long glance at Seishirou to see if the Sakurazukamori would display any reaction to this; to his disappointment the man didn't even look as if he had heard him.

"Oh yes, dear old Obaa-chama," sighed Hokuto, with only a slight roll of her eyes. "You saw her in Kyōto, right, Subaru? How's she doing?"

"Same as always."

Hokuto folded her arms and leaned towards him. "Did you tell her about Sei-chan?" she asked.

Subaru shook his head. "No, of course not."

"Good!" Hokuto nodded with satisfaction. "Cause she'd throw a fit if she hears the head of the Sumeragi is in love with a Sakurazuka!"

Subaru reached for his bowl of soup. "Obaa-chan wouldn't throw a fit, nee-chan," he said. "She'd probably think I was possessed and do an exorcism on me."

Hokuto blinked. Seishirou looked at him, eyebrows raised. "Subaru-kun is developing an interesting sense of humour," the man observed.

"Exorcism – oh yeah." Hokuto snapped her fingers and rummaged somewhere in the voluminous folds of her skirt, pulling out a leaflet. "You've got another job."

Now it was Subaru's turn to blink. "Job?" he repeated, taking the leaflet from his sister and peering at it.

"Yeah, a job. It came in on the fax."

Seishirou looked at Subaru and shook his head as if in amazement. "You onmyouji are so trendy nowadays, getting instructions by fax."

"Subaru has no sense of direction, that's why," said Hokuto as Subaru skimmed the simplified map on the last page. "He can't find places over the phone, so clients have to show him where to go."

"Thanks, Hokuto-chan," said Subaru dryly. Mentally he frowned; the details of the case rang a bell, but not a loud one. _I know I've been through this case before, but what did it involve exactly?_

"You want me to tell your teacher you've got work again?" asked Hokuto, leaning on the kitchen counter.

Subaru blinked. "Teacher?"

"Yes, teacher. You know, school?"

 _I go to school – wait a moment._ "Oh, ah, yes, please tell Sensei that I've got work again, Hokuto-chan," replied Subaru, again reminding himself that in this day and age he was supposed to be a sixteen-year old student with a demanding career, not a twenty-five year old school drop-out with a death-wish.

"Where's the job?"

Subaru told his heart to stop fluttering as he turned to Seishirou. "In Ebisu," he said shortly, hoping the Sakurazukamori would drop the subject. Of course, he didn't.

"Do you have to go soon?" Seishirou continued.

"Uh, no, if I leave in about an hour …"

"Then I'll take you," Seishirou offered, already standing up.

Immediately Subaru rose from his seat and waved his hands as if to physically ward off the man's offer. "N-no, it's okay," he stammered hastily, mind racing for an appropriate excuse. "You've got work too, Seishirou-san." _Like feeding that damned Tree of yours._

"I don't have any patients today."

"But—"

"You two go through this every time," muttered Hokuto from off-side, rolling her eyes.

Seishirou smiled, obviously refusing to be discouraged. "I insist. Don't worry; I see it in magazines and on TV all the time!" He held up a finger to emphasize his point. "Driving the car for your sweetheart, what's it called … rasshii … nesshii … or something …"

Subaru gave the man a look, knowing full well that the Sakurazukamori never forgot anything.

"It's asshii," Hokuto stage-whispered.

"I knew that!"

Subaru sighed in defeat.

 

* * *

 

He had forgotten the van.

Subaru sat in the front passenger seat, staring moodily out at the city passing by. The leather upholstery beneath him seemed to stick to the material of his trousers, so he couldn't move without attracting attention. Not that he was uncomfortable, no, far from it. The van, white with a red strip down each side on which characters advertised the Sakurazuka Veterinary Clinic, was Japanese-make, spacious and reliable without shortcutting comfort. Perhaps the only thing slightly uncomfortable about it was the faint, musky smell of animals that refused to go away no matter how clean the van's interior was, but Subaru could live with that quite happily.

There was nothing wrong with the van. It was perfectly ordinary. That was why it was unnerving Subaru.

Slowly, Subaru ever so slightly turned his head to the right, relying on the brim of his hat to hide his eyes as he looked at the driver. Seishirou drove the wheel with a steady touch, completely in control, relaxing so far as to lean back in his seat and drive with one hand. His eyes, warm-gold behind the glasses, stayed on the road in front of him. There was even a smile on his face.

Subaru's lips tightened and he turned to look out the window again. The whole situation was just … not right. Sakurazuka Seishirou-san, veterinarian, drove this vehicle. Seishirou-san the Sakurazukamori, no. Something expensive and lethally fast, a black Mercedes or Ferrari maybe, would be far more appropriate. But this was the Sakurazukamori playing at being human, and Subaru knew that the man could live the role like an actor of the highest calibre.

Knowing the reality of the face behind the glasses, Subaru expected at any moment for Seishirou to turn around and hurt him again. He hadn't yet … still, Subaru knew what the Sakurazukamori was capable of. He was getting very tired of being on guard all the time, though.

On the other hand, why was he worrying so much? Seishirou hadn't done anything so far. Subaru had left Hokuto alone with him when he had gone to Kyōto, and nothing had happened.

Nothing, except for the suspiciously unexplainable death of a politician.

Subaru glanced up at a building-side television screen as the news updates came on. Although the incident had happened enough days ago to be relegated to the inner pages of the papers, it was still one of the major current affairs on everyone's lips. The dead man in question hadn't been at all popular and had been receiving increasingly intense media focus regarding his radical political views, but that was beside the point. The point was that the Sakurazukamori had killed a living person.

Seishirou was the Sakurazukamori. And quite simply, Subaru didn't trust him.

He tensed instinctively as he noticed Seishirou moving a hand in his direction, but the Sakurazukamori was doing nothing more dangerous than changing gears. Subaru gritted his teeth at his racing pulse, annoyed. It was all Seishirou's fault in the first place that he was this jumpy anyway. But could he be faulted for feeling like a stalked animal, considering what Seishirou had done to him?

In this time, Hokuto was alive, but the lie – and Subaru's pain – remained. He couldn't look at his sister and Seishirou together without thinking of blood. He couldn't be in the same room as Seishirou without feeling as if he had to prepare for combat at any moment. At present, Hokuto and Seishirou were probably dismissing his jitteriness as the adolescent shyness they were used to, but Subaru couldn't help but fear that sooner or later, Seishirou would realise that Subaru knew his true identity, and take steps to remedy the fact.

Was Subaru insane for trying to live it all again? He knew what was at stake, he knew the consequences and the danger and most of all, the pain. He knew how it had all ended the last time. And even in that remote possibility that Subaru did win … what kind of honour could he expect from a man who lived a lie?

"Is something the matter?"

Subaru jumped at the unexpected question despite himself. "N-no, it's nothing," he replied automatically, telling himself to calm down.

He sensed Seishirou turning to him. "Did you have bad dream?" the Sakurazukamori asked.

Immediately Subaru tensed—

 

_two figures, one in white, one in black, beneath the shade of a beautiful sakura tree_

 

—then casually replied, "Why do you ask that?"

Seishirou smiled. "When I came in this morning, it looked as if you were having a nightmare."

 

_"So, I want you to kill me."_

 

Subaru's fingers clenched themselves into fists. What could he say? It was pointless to accuse Seishirou outright, because technically, Hokuto wasn't dead yet. "I … I had a dream of long ago," he replied tightly, then clamped his mouth shut.

"Long ago?" Seishirou pressed.

"It was—" Subaru caught himself. Seishirou was still pretending to be the caring veterinarian, he had to remember that, but two could play at that game. "It was nothing," he said off-handedly. "Just a weird dream from working too hard."

"It is said that you have dreams so that when you wake, you can feel relief," said Seishirou, driving with a care Subaru couldn't imagine the Sakurazukamori to possess. "So, if you have a scary dream or a nightmare, when you wake up you can think, 'Ah, I'm glad that was just a dream.'"

Subaru's eyes darkened. "It might not have been a dream," he replied, his voice in no way indicating the feelings he kept inside. _I should have taken the train, then I wouldn't have to have_ him _drive me._

Seishirou turned a corner. "Do you remember what the dream was about?" he asked. "With your powers, it could have been important. A precognition dream, for example."

Precognition, to see the future before it happened … _blood, so red on white and black and palest pink—_ "I hope it wasn't," said Subaru softly. It was surreal. This conversation wasn't exactly a carbon copy of last time, but the déjà vu was so overwhelming Subaru wondered how on earth Seishirou could miss it. It had been the same for breakfast that morning, the clothes Subaru was now wearing, the way Hokuto and Seishirou had woken him up, his trip to Kyōto … everything was a replay of last time.

An unpleasant thought struck him. Had his dream of Hokuto's death last night been a memory? Or was it a warning that the end of the Bet was already set?

Perhaps sensing that Subaru didn't want to talk about it, Seishirou didn't follow the thread of conversation any further. Its subject still lingered in Subaru's mind, though, a lurking spectre of a question that grew and grew until finally he turned to Seishirou and asked, "Do you think precognition dreams are true?"

"What do you mean?" asked Seishirou, showing no surprise at his usually shy companion's sudden desire for speech.

Subaru shifted in his seat until he could see Seishirou without twisting his head. "I mean, do you … do you think that precognition dreams show the _unchangeable_ future, or just a possibility?"

Seishirou thought carefully. "I would say that a precognition dream shows what is most likely _at this moment,_ " he said. "It could change, depending on what actions you choose to take. I'd like to think that our future is determined by what we do. Having a foreordained destiny wouldn't be much fun," he added with a laugh.

 _The sound of clashing swords ringing through the air …_ Subaru looked away. "No, it isn't."

"You sound very worried about this dream," said Seishirou, seemingly concerned. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"Yes," Subaru snapped.

Seishirou glanced at him, startled, but pressed no further. "As you wish. But think about this, Subaru-kun. When your heart is hurt, no blood flows, so you don't know where or why you feel pain. Dreams are important for telling you how your heart has been hurt."

Subaru didn't answer to this, instead turning to stare out the window again as his destination came into view, and blinked away sudden tears.

_But it wasn't a dream._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- The 'expected influx of proud parents and children that weekend' refers to the Shichi-Go-San (7-5-3) festival celebrating the ages of 3 and 5 for boys, and 3 and 7 for girls. It involves dressing children in their finest clothes, with many children wearing their first proper formal hakama or kimono, and paying a visit to a Shinto shrine. The festival itself falls on November 15, however since it is not a public holiday the celebrations take place on the nearest weekend.  
> \- Heian Jinju is an imperial Shinto shrine in Kyōto that was built in 1895 to celebrate the 1100th anniversary of the city.  
> \- Yasaka jinja is a Shinto shrine in Kyōto's Gion district and is best known for the Gion Matsuri.  
> \- Fushimi Inari is the Shinto shrine dedicated to Inari just outside Kyōto, and is famous for the thousands of red torii that cover the paths up the mountain.  
> \- Kamo Wake-Ikuzuhi Shrine sits in Kyōto's Kita Ward, and is the oldest Shinto shrine in Kyōto.  
> \- The description of Seishirou's van is based on the Tokyo Babylon OAVs.


	2. Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You've been acting strangely around me as of late. What have I done?"

The rest of the trip took place in silence. Subaru was too disturbed to speak to the future murderer of his sister, and Seishirou had also for some reason been disinclined to talk. The resulting atmosphere in the van grew tenser with every minute, and the hospital had been a most welcome sight indeed.

Even so, when Subaru exited the van, he couldn't escape Seishirou that easily.

"Subaru-kun." Subaru, already walking away, heard the driver's door shut behind him and froze. Gloved fingers itching for an ofuda he turned around. Seishirou was looking at him with a concerned expression. "Have I done something to offend you?" the man asked.

Subaru blinked. "Uh, no," he said, ignoring the obvious that was obvious to him only.

Seishirou didn't smile. If Subaru didn't know better, he could have sworn that the Sakurazukamori looked anxious. "I have done something, haven't I," Seishirou said. He took a step towards Subaru; Subaru immediately took a step back and watched the Sakurazukamori bite his lip in an admirable pretence of hurt. "You've been acting strangely around me as of late," he continued. "What have I done?"

It took great strength of will for Subaru to keep his composure. "You haven't done anything, Seishirou-san," he forced himself to say.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." _Not yet, anyway._

"Then what is the matter? Won't you tell me?"

"I can deal with it myself."

Seishirou wasn't looking too convinced. "Then let me take you out after this."

Subaru's brilliant green eyes flashed. "Do you really think that taking me out on a 'date' would magically make everything better?" he snapped. "Things aren't that simple, Sakurazuka Seishirou-san."

The sun was angled so that it reflected off Seishirou's glasses. Subaru couldn't see the man's eyes, but he had the unnerving impression of a great cat circling him, trying to gauge his defences. He shivered, not sure if the electric thrill running through him was fear or excitement at the new twist in the game. Maybe it was both.

But the hunted wasn't just going to stand there and wait this time. Quickly, before Seishirou could say anything, Subaru turned and began walking away again. "I'm going to be late," he said, loud enough for Seishirou to not miss a word as the distance between them increased. "You don't have to wait for me, Seishirou-san. I'm sure you have work too."

That felt good. Subaru was breathless as he half-ran towards the hospital, a gambler's adrenalin running through him in having had the last word against the Sakurazukamori and walked away. However, there was something sour about his little immature victory. The way Seishirou had looked at him …

Subaru's steps slowed to a halt.

_What was I thinking?_

Subaru stared at the ground, ignoring the minutes ticking away. Or rather, he kept count of them, but not in terms of the most immediate matter at hand. If he could kick himself, he would have. _That was stupid. Treating Seishirou-san like that was stupid. I'm supposed to be trying to win the Bet. I have to win. For Hokuto-chan. For me. For—_

The minutes seemed to be going faster.

_How am I going to win the Bet?_

Subaru's determination for his decision made under the Sakura slipped as it slowly dawned on him just what kind of task he had set himself.

 

_"If I experience true feelings for you …"_

 

True feelings. From the Sakurazukamori. There were countless of stories of girls and boys going to extraordinary lengths to attract the eye of their loved one, but to think that those stories could compare to Subaru's situation was ludicrous. This was no high-school soap of flirtations and coquettish behaviour. Subaru certainly wasn't any innocent light-hearted student, and Seishirou was no normal feeling person.

How had Seishirou made Subaru love him in that one year? He had treated him kindly, affectionately, and cared for him when he needed comfort. Countless little things that had made Subaru feel special. As false as it had all been, it had worked.

_Which means … I have to do the same._

The very thought made Subaru cringe. As much as he loved Seishirou, it wasn't in his character to be so open with his feelings. It certainly didn't help that Hokuto would probably tease him to death if he did anything even remotely intimate. The fact that Seishirou had killed Hokuto once and hurt him so deeply didn't make things any easier either.

There was the problem.

To treat the Sakurazukamori as Special … that would mean forgiving him.

And Subaru wasn't ready to do that. He probably never would be.

The shadows on the path had moved slightly. Subaru blinked as a chilly wind blew through him, and shivered. He had spent too long thinking, and he had a job to do. He could think on this later. Mechanically he made himself begin to walk again, pulling out the case file and forcing his mind to go through the practiced exercise of reading. The words were very familiar.

 

Name: Kaburagi Mitsuki  
Age: 16  
Sex: Female  
Family: Father died when she was aged 12. Currently resides with her mother.  
Four months ago (July 12) she fainted after returning home ...

 

_Mitsuki-san … the girl hiding in her mind from the trauma of rape. The girl from my childhood. The girl who said that she hated me, because I was 'not normal'. Again, she has to go through this ordeal._

As far as Mitsuki was concerned, however, it was only the first time. There was some small consolation in that.

Subaru walked past the reception desk and the startled nurse in attendance, heading immediately for room 502. Quietly he opened the door, and just as quietly he shut it, leaning against its hard surface with a sigh. _So now what? Do I repeat what I did last time? Or can I work something different and see what happens?_

Hesitantly, Subaru crossed the room to the bedside, and stared down at the room's single occupant. Mitsuki's long black hair was dull, spread all over the pillow in ebony waves. Her cheeks and closed eyes were sunken, and the skin had an unhealthy pallid tone. Everything was just as Subaru remembered it.

_Poor girl, I don't even remember what happened to her._

Subaru felt a twinge of guilt. He had gone Within her, healed her, consoled her … and after that, forgotten her. For all he knew she could have married, left the country, had a successful career, or taken any other of the dozens of paths life had laid before her after Subaru's life had touched hers that one afternoon.

Or, perhaps, she had been one of the many, many innocent victims that had fallen during the Final Year? He didn't know. He had never cared to find out. Too wrapped up in his Wish, that one thing that had drove him for so many dark years, not caring how it made everyone unhappy …

Subaru shook his head, instinctively avoiding such thoughts. They didn't matter; he was here now to help her. Again. _  
_

Carefully, Subaru set four ofuda at each of the corners of the bed. Then he gently placed his gloved hand on Mitsuki's forehead, closed his eyes, and began to chant. The ofuda began to glow.

" _Noubou akyasha kyarabaya om arikya …_ "

He felt his body growing heavier as he sank forward to half-lie on the bed, and yet at the same time all sensation was light and weightless as he dived into the infinite space that was Mitsuki's heart. In that place, the physical did not matter …

" _… aribori sowaka …_ "

… all that mattered was the spiritual, the emotional, and every memory and experience that made each person on this earth so special.

" _… kyarabaya …_ "

Going Within was something that Subaru did very rarely. To do so, to go deep within the heart of another person, was to lay yourself open to them as they were open to you. Dangerous, especially since …

 

_"I hate you, Subaru-kun!"_

 

And the last time Subaru had done this …

" _… noubou akyasha …_ "

 

_"Kamui."_

 

… he had shown that person something he had never wanted to be reminded of, yet lived with every day of those nine years that were now future.

_Kamui …_

Where was the boy now?

The darkness around him seemed to warp, twisting into deformed shapes that made up the hospital room – Subaru forced himself to focus, lest he lose the spell and leave Mitsuki asleep forever.

Besides, they were nine years in the past again. Kamui would be seven years old. Their paths hadn't crossed yet. They wouldn't, not until the final year with the Final Day – if, the Final Day was to happen again.

" _… om arikya …_ "

The darkness settled, deepened—

" _… aribori sowaka …_ "

—and he was there.

Subaru opened his eyes. A long white shadow stretched out from his feet on the 'ground' that was the depths of Mitsuki's heart, a canvas that could be infinitely altered as the person wished. It was very quiet, but not quite wholly silent. Rather, the quiet was the kind one sensed at night standing under a soaring, cloudless sky. An open quiet, not closed in and heavy. Peaceful. Subaru had expected that.

What he hadn't expected was his image. There was no mirror, of course, but the discomfort that had been at the back of Subaru's mind ever since he woke up aged sixteen again was gone. He reached up with gloveless hands to run his fingers through his closely-cut hair and over his face, no longer childish and rounded, but more sharper, mature. More striking than all of this was his right eye, or rather, his lack of one.

 _I shouldn't be surprised,_ thought Subaru wryly. He closed his left eye and his vision went dark. _This is my true self, after all._

That was one thing different from last time. With any luck, it would be the only thing.

Already more at ease in this older body, Subaru waited. No one's heart, not even that of a person comatose, reminded quiet for long.

He was not disappointed.

It wasn't much at first, just a sliver of light on the horizon of black and black. Like a raft on a silent dark sea it floated towards him until it was visible. This, also, was exactly as Subaru remembered. A huge board filled with so many circles – yin-yang, radial half-suns, stylized planets – that the straight lines seemed to barely hold them down. Within these larger shapes were many more designs, too small and intricate to see clearly, worlds within worlds. It seemed to Subaru a representation of the universe as people would like to have it; structured and logical. Which, of course, it wasn't.

As if the board were nothing more than a giant sandbox, there were two children playing. Their laughter echoed in the darkness. Subaru smiled a little bitterly and stepped onto the board where he saw himself, a child of six or seven, playing with another little girl. Mitsuki. She was smiling. So different to the haggard young woman lying unconscious in a hospital bed.

_Poor girl … but we all lose our innocence eventually._

Subaru turned his attention to himself, or rather, this self that Mitsuki remembered. Wearing shorts and a shirt, one would never have thought that this smiling little boy and the silent young man watching from off-side were one and the same.

_Was I really that innocent? Six years old, sixteen years old, it didn't matter, I was such a child._

Hesitantly, Subaru took one step towards the children—

—and the board disappeared. It winked out of sight with the silvery echo of children's laughter. Subaru looked from side to side, trying to find Mitsuki, trying to find himself.

Where was she?

"Mitsuki …" Subaru called out softly. He didn't have the time to be chasing dreams, not when he himself had so little time left—

There was a flicker at the corner of his seeing eye. Subaru whipped his head around as Mitsuki, still a child and carrying an umbrella half again her size, skipped away from him. The darkness swirled at her feet as her consciousness brought to life yet another memory.

Subaru stopped and watched himself again. He watched as he held a little puppy close, not saying anything, defying three faceless bullies with his eyes. He watched as they punched him, pulled his hair, kicked and stepped on him. He watched himself let them beat him up and watched himself smile as the puppy, safe and sound, licked his face.

_Passive resistance. Always, such a martyr._

It was so strange to see himself like this, the way people look at baby photos of murderers and wonder what happened. Not just himself, but Mitsuki too. They had both grown up so much – or she had at least. The harsh reality of the world had come to her in a car with a gang of three thugs one afternoon like every other afternoon, and after that nothing had been the same.

So it had been with Subaru, eventually, in that hospital room long ago and now due to come again.

Would he be ready for it?

Silently he followed Mitsuki through her mind, watching this little montage of scenes in thoughtful silence. He saw himself surrounded by birds, showing them to Mitsuki whose dark eyes lit up with delight. Another time the two of them crouched over a single flower in the grass, enraptured as a delicate butterfly stretched its wings to fly, Mitsuki's umbrella their only shade. The memories went on and on. Most of them were new to Subaru.

_I forgot so much. All I remembered was the incident with the puppy, and that last time I saw her._

 

_"I hate you, Subaru-kun! Because, you're not normal!"_

 

_I only remembered getting hurt._

Unable to take it anymore, the next time Mitsuki skipped away to another memory of them, Subaru made chase. He thought that his longer legs would quickly catch up with her, but somehow she always managed to remain just one step in front of him, skipping through the darkness with her umbrella as if she were in a field of flowers and sunlight.

"Wait!"

Mitsuki turned back to laugh at him. Her brief pause allowed Subaru to close the distance between them and grab the edge of her umbrella. She provided no resistance, but rather, faced him with an almost delirious expression of delight.

"I hate you, Subaru-kun!" she cried. "Because, you're not normal!"

Subaru flinched a little; even though he knew she did not mean it, the words themselves still hurt. "Mitsuki!" he shouted, trying to get her to look at him.

The large dark eyes seemed to swim for a moment, then focused. The girl blinked at Subaru in confusion. "Who are you?" she asked.

Subaru bent down on one knee to face her eye to eye. "It's me, Mitsuki," he said quietly. "Sumeragi Subaru."

"Su … baru …?"

Subaru forced himself to be patient. "Yes. You've been asleep for four months, Mitsuki. You have to wake up, otherwise your body will die—"

"You're not Subaru-kun." Mitsuki said this with all the seriousness a child of six could muster. "Your face is sad. Subaru-kun is happy. And you don't have his pretty eyes."

"I am Subaru," Subaru insisted. "Even though I've changed, I'm still—"

"Liar!" Mitsuki threw the word into his face like vitriol. "You're not Subaru-kun! Subaru-kun is here!" She pointed to the smiling spectre that appeared beside her, the spectre with Subaru's face of so many years ago.

Subaru tried to keep himself calm; after all, this was just like last time, though how it ended he didn't quite remember— "No, that's not right, Mitsuki, that is—"

" _You lie!_ "

Mitsuki's scream echoed throughout the dreamscape and Subaru's mind. In response, the surface beneath Subaru's feet roiled and rose up in anger. He had been expecting that, and he leapt away. The dreamscape reached out with jets of what looked like dark water, liquid ropes shooting towards him, some coming so close that he could smell—

_—blood, so red on white and black and palest pink—_

—Subaru viciously shoved the memory away as another twisting gout lashed out; any mental weakness could spell his doom. He ducked and felt the attack fly past him— "Mitsuki!"

Far away the girl was smiling, pointing at the little figures that appeared around her, dozens of little smiling Subarus. "Subaru-kun is here! Here!"

An attack came from his blind side and Subaru twisted too late to avoid it. It struck him across the face making him fall heavily. Immediately the ground reared up above him and his hands were bound together by whirling streams of dark blood. Others followed, twining about his arms, his legs – Subaru fought wildly against them to no avail, not daring to do anything more aggressive lest he damage the mind he was in— "Stop it!"

The girl smiled back at him with tears in her eyes that she didn't seem to notice. "Why can't I live in my dream? Is it so bad, even though I like it here? Even though it's better than the world outside?"

 

_… darkness, blessed darkness where he could hide …_

 

The suffocating cascade of blood surged as Subaru's own memories leaked into the open.

 

_"If you don't leave this dream nothing will begin and nothing will end, they will only get worse … like me."_

_Kamui …_

_"You can hear my voice right?"_

 

Subaru wrenched his thoughts back from the mire of his memories and desperately reached out. "Mitsuki!"

The girl didn't hear him. The umbrella dropped to the ground as she placed small hands over her face and wept. "Why me? Why am I tormented?"

He was being pulled down, he was sinking into darkness and the blood, writhing like a living thing, was curling about his throat. Subaru clawed at it desperately, fighting for air. _How, how did I free myself before, how did I help her …_ his vision was going blurry like he was drowning in water, in blood—

The sound of wings, and piercing battle-cry.

Wildly Subaru threw his head up. The familiar shape of a magnificent eagle shikigami soared high above him, its grey-and-black feathers barely visible in the darkness. His eyes widened as it swooped past him and shot towards Mitsuki, talons raised.

Mitsuki screamed, high and loud. Subaru could only watch in horror as the shikigami smashed the little girl into a thousand pieces.

" _Mitsuki!_ "

Shards of shattered black mirror, pieces of Mitsuki's face, fell like snow. The shikigami screeched in triumph. Subaru wrenched at his bonds and they gave way, melting into the ground as if they had never existed. Immediately Subaru folded his fingers into formation, not even thinking about the words he was speaking.

_You hurt someone, you killed again, from you I should have expected nothing else!_

The spell rolled off his tongue as he poured all of his anger into the working. If he cast a killing blow at the shikigami, he would kill its master like he should have done—

" _STOP IT!_ "

The desperate cry jerked Subaru away from his working. He spun around to look. In the midst of a field of broken mirrors, a little girl knelt crying beside a fallen umbrella. Crying, but otherwise unhurt. Flashes in the darkness around them; a car, laughing faces, fumbling hands …

"… stop it, please …"

Subaru fell silent, the thread of magic he had been conjuring disappearing like mist. A touch of feathers brushed his head; instinctively he lifted his wrist and stared as the shikigami settled there, talons gently gripping his skin. Subaru's eyes, one green, one white, grew large.

"You," he whispered.

The shikigami looked at him with an unblinking golden stare. Subaru couldn't move. Those eyes seemed vaguely … startled?

Subaru held its gaze for a long, breathless second. Then, suddenly, the shikigami gave a keening call. It lifted its wings and between one heartbeat and the next, disappeared in a glowing white light, leaving only a wisp of cigarette smoke behind.

Subaru closed his eyes as the smoke wafted against his face like a caress.

Off-side, there was a broken, frightened sob. Subaru reluctantly turned away from the incorporeal touch, back to the matter at hand. Like a tiny candle flame in a large dark room, a girl crouched on the ground shaking uncontrollably.

A girl who, like him, had had her innocence brutally stripped away.

"… help me …"

Mitsuki tried to hide her face from the memories washing around her like water from a broken dam. As they did so, slowly the little girl's form began to change. The chubby limbs grew longer, lengthening into slender shapes as the yellow sun-dress she wore melted into a mockery of a proper high-school uniform. The pleated skirt was torn, the blouse ripped open and sliding down soft rounded shoulders. Mitsuki made no attempt to pull it over her modesty. The only thing that did not change was her hair, still the long straight black tresses that fell in tangles over her face as she wept.

"Laughing, they were all laughing, not one of them was serious … 'since you played so well, let's play this game again some other time', they said, I wanted to die …"

This, Subaru remembered. It was no less painful than the first time he had watched it. Quietly he walked over to the weeping young woman and knelt beside her. She didn't notice his approach, cradling herself in her arms. Subaru watched her for a moment. Then he reached out and gently put his arms around her, drawing her close. Mitsuki turned her face into his shirt and sobbed, a single white shadow stretching out from their feet.

Subaru simply held her. He let her cry herself out for the first time since one afternoon long ago.

"It's all right, Mitsuki," he murmured. "It'll be okay now." Subaru closed his eyes, remembering what she had spoken that first time. "It's true, no one should have the right to destroy the happiness of others, and it is also true that in reality it's a natural thing.

"I understand that now. Too well."

Crying, still crying … how many tears could one person hold? Distantly Subaru wondered why he had hardly ever let himself cry after that day when he had been broken. Only twice, he remembered, once for her, and once for him. He hadn't had anyone to hold him then.

Subaru pulled Mitsuki closer. "I know that know words can ever make it go away," he murmured softly, "but please, wake up, wake up and have a second chance. Like I did."

Gradually, Mitsuki's crying lessened and Subaru felt her sag, exhausted. Suddenly realising that she wasn't alone, she stiffened and pulled away, staring at Subaru with a frightened expression. "Who – who are you?"

Subaru smiled. "It's me, Mitsuki. Sumeragi Subaru."

His identification didn't have the reaction he expected. "It can't be," said Mitsuki, clutching her clothes about herself. "I remember Subaru-kun from elementary school; he was always happy. You are not."

Subaru lowered his eyes. "Many things have happened to the Subaru you remember, Mitsuki," he said softly. "But it is still me. You called out for me, remember?" Mitsuki nodded once, still staring in disbelief. Subaru removed his coat and placed it about her shoulders, speaking gently. "I know you haven't told anyone what happened to you. I know that your mother will be upset when she learns about it. But … she will be even more upset if you never wake up, Mitsuki."

 _Is this how you felt, Hokuto-chan?_ thought Subaru silently. _Were you hurt more because I retreated into myself rather than the fact that Seishirou-san had hurt me so badly? Was it better for you to have a brother who was broken but could heal instead of a brother who was dead to the world?_

_It's because I didn't wake up that you took my shikifuku and went after him, isn't it._

"Please, Mitsuki, for the people who are waiting for you, you have to wake up."

Slowly, hesitantly, Mitsuki reached up to touch the skin below his blind eye. "It _is_ you," she breathed. "But … you have been hurt too."

His hands tightened a little. "Yes, I have," Subaru whispered. "But I have a second chance to mend it. You too will have a second chance if you wake up."

"Subaru-kun …" Suddenly Mitsuki was crying again, this time in relief. "I never stopped calling you, you know, I always called you to save me. But then I remembered that I had hurt you, telling you something I didn't mean just so you'd look at me, and I'd think you wouldn't come, but still I kept hoping …" She sniffled and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you. Can you forgive me?"

Subaru took her hand. "I did that a long time ago."

He saw a smile then, one on the edge of tears, but a smile nonetheless. Mitsuki's dreamscape wavered around them.

"Thank you …"

 

* * *

 

It was the crick in his neck that Subaru was first aware of when he regained consciousness. He had fallen forward so that he was half-lying on the hospital bed, half-sitting on the stool. Most uncomfortable. He sat up, rubbing his temples with one gloved hand – his head was throbbing, and he knew that he was going to pay for this spell soon.

Had it been worth it?

Gazing down at the still-sleeping Mitsuki, Subaru held his breath. Almost imperceptibly her eyelids shivered, the fingers of the arm in which the I.V. was fed trembling slightly. Finally, like the first flowers of spring, her eyes opened. After a moment as her sight adjusted to the light, she turned and smiled at him.

"Good morning, Subaru-kun."

Subaru smiled. "Good morning, Mitsuki."

Mitsuki giggled lightly, the happy sound ringing with the joy of simply being alive. Suddenly, she blinked. Sitting up in her bed, she stared at him.

"Subaru-kun?" She sounded confused. "You, you look … different."

Startled, Subaru's eyes widened. Both his eyes. Hastily he touched his hair, his face – he glanced at the window beside him, and saw his sixteen-year old reflection in the glass.

Oh _._

Mitsuki was still staring. Embarrassed, Subaru blushed. "But it's still me, right?"

He flinched as Mitsuki reached out to towards his face. Her fingers were hesitant as she looked directly into his eyes, as if she could see something she wasn't sure she wanted to touch. "Subaru-kun," she said softly, "what hurt you?"

Subaru couldn't speak. Suddenly noise rushed into the room as the doors were thrown open. Mitsuki and Subaru both looked up, startled, as a dark-haired, tired woman ran into the room, accompanied by two nurses and a doctor. The woman let out a little cry as she saw Mitsuki sitting up in bed. The look that spread over Mitsuki's face lit Subaru's heart.

"Mother …"

Quietly, Subaru retrieved his things and disengaged himself from the scene as Mitsuki's mother ran to her daughter and embraced her tightly. Mitsuki buried her face in her mother's shoulder. The two nurses checked the diagnostics and called out the results to the doctor with joy. The doctor himself thanked the young onmyouji and shook his hand, staring at him in disbelieving wonder.

Subaru looked back once at the relieved, happy ending to smile, then left the hospital.

It was drawing to late afternoon outside. The sun was low, tinting the sky orange. It was quiet, and rather cold. Subaru ran quickly to the car-park, almost holding his breath. He had told Seishirou not to wait for him, yes, but maybe, just maybe …

_That bird … that first time … I know where the shikigami came from now. You were watching over me then, and you continue to do so now. You won't let me be hurt._

There was someone waiting for him.

_You said that for one year you would stay with me, watch over me, protect me. You wouldn't hurt me. And despite what you are, what you do, I know that you keep your word._

Subaru slowed as he approached the van. The man leaning against it looked at him almost hesitantly. There was a cigarette butt by his feet.

They stared at each other quietly, Sumeragi to Sakurazukamori, just them and no one else. Then the Sumeragi stepped closer, much closer, and stared calmly up into the Sakurazukamori's startled face.

_After our Bet, after our time has run out, things will change._

_But until then, I have nothing to fear from you._

"Thank you," said Subaru softly, never taking his eyes away from the other's face.

Seishirou looked wary. "What for?"

Subaru smiled at him. "You waited for me."


	3. Call A

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Phone numbers with '1999' in their last four digits have been receiving an unusual amount of phone pranks in the last few months. However, they're not like ordinary phone pranks. They seem to be more like spells."

The problem with overwhelming gratitude was that it made it difficult to just say goodbye and leave. After successfully resolving his case of the morning, a minor exorcism, Subaru found himself detained by the thankful family who insisted despite his protests that they provide him with lunch. It had been quite a while before he had finally been able to detach himself by gently telling them that he had an appointment to keep.

There had been a time when Subaru wouldn't have had the heart to turn someone down. That time wasn't now anymore. Still, added Subaru silently as he ran down the crowded street from Ikebukuro station, he had no one to blame but himself for his tardiness. He always had a hard time saying no to other people, even to those to whom he owed nothing—

_No point in kicking myself over this anymore; I'm late enough as it is._

Too absorbed in self-recrimination, Subaru ran headlong into a startled passer-by. He bobbed a hasty bow and tried apologising to the irritated glare given to him then dashed off again down the escalators leading to Sunshine City. At least there had been one advantage in being a Dragon of Heaven; you could get to places fast. Then again, the ability to fly wouldn't do much good in the crowded labyrinth of malls that made up the lower levels of the Sunshine City complex. Narrowly dodging a trolley Subaru managed to catch an elevator filled with tourists, regaining his breath as it climbed to the ninth floor. The moment the doors slid open he hurried out to buy his ticket, ran for the gates where he grabbed a support pylon using his momentum to swing inside—

—and ducked behind the entrance display.

For a moment he pressed his back against the cool concrete, breathing hard. Few voices floated into his alcove; it was after lunch on a working day so the place wasn't overly crowded. The anthropomorphic penguin on the display beamed down at Subaru, having calmed down, straightened his clothes and quietly began walking.

The meeting place was easy to find, and there was already someone there. Looking rather out-of-place amongst the tourists and young families, Seishirou stood leaning over the barrier of the penguin enclosure, his back to Subaru. Subaru held his breath as he approached. Still, however, the man heard his coming, and turned with a large smile that on anyone else would have been sincerely caring.

"Subaru-kun."

Subaru came to a halt. Instead of bowing in greeting, however, he smiled. "I'm sorry for being late, Seishirou-san. The job took longer than I thought."

"That's all right." Seishirou moved away from where he was leaning on the railing. "It's my fault for insisting on having a date today even though I knew you had a job to do. So don't worry!"

"But I do worry. I made you wait." Subaru took a step closer. "I'm sorry."

That smile again, the practiced one. The smile that receptionists and customer service people wear. Subaru studied it, the way Seishirou's lips curved to construct the expression, and wanted to touch it to see if it was as real as it looked.

"I'm glad you came," the smile said.

Words, just words …

Well, two could play at that game.

"You never get angry with me, do you, Seishirou-san."

"Eh?"

"Angry. You're never angry with me. Even when you have every right to be."

Seishirou's smile never wavered. "But you can't get angry with those you love."

"Yes, you can." Subaru moved closer. The chill from the artificial ice and the warmth from that other person enfolded him. "You can get angry with those you love, you can even hurt the one you love. Sometimes … you can even hate the one you love." He smiled, as if Seishirou's change of expression were nothing more than a passing cloud over the sun. "Anyway, it's past noon and you must be hungry. Should we go for lunch now?"

Seishirou didn't answer immediately. Subaru half-turned towards the rest of the aquarium exhibits inviting company. Eventually Seishirou did come, and Subaru let him lead.

He had been playing this little game with Seishirou for some days now, just as Seishirou continued playing his own game with him. Considering Subaru's natural shyness Seishirou's confidence usually won, however, what few victories Subaru managed to score were enough for him. Acceptable, yes, to see that flicker of suspicion and questioning, to see the ever-confident and smiling mask slip a little now and again; unacceptable, however, to push things too far.

It was a game, just like last time, but instead of a hunt, now it was a fencing match, with subtle lunge and parry. And the masks, of course. They were very important, for safety and other things …

"Where do you think we should go?" Subaru asked after they had wandered through the circuit of tanks, speaking little whilst looking at the array of exotic fish and water-life. Best to give the reins of the situation back to Seishirou now. "I don't really know the eating places."

"Hm." Seishirou looked thoughtful, and he began to lead them towards the elevators. "The Y.O.U. area of the Sunshine 60 has a nice little café called 'Afternoon Tea' with delicious muffins, we haven't tried them yet." He pushed the call button, turning to Subaru, the caring smile back on his face. "And you told me that you don't visit Ikebukuro often. "

"Oh, that time." Subaru looked apologetic. "I'm so sorry I left you waiting for me."

A few days ago one of Subaru's jobs had gone overtime, so much so that Subaru had had to cancel the rest of his appointments for the day. The job had been particularly trying, and he hadn't even remembered that one of those canceled appointments was a lunch with Seishirou until well after the scheduled hour. By the time he had frantically run to their meeting place it had been too late.

"It's okay!" The elevator pinged, and they both entered, Seishirou pressing the button for their destination. "It was me who insisted on meeting for lunch before afternoon duties. I did wait, but since you were taking so long I had to return to the clinic."

Seishirou's reassurance didn't do much for Subaru, who had been recriminating himself for having forgotten Seishirou in the first place. "I'm so very sorry."

"Did that job go fine?" asked Seishirou, probably to change the subject.

"Yes, it did, but—"

"So you have nothing to worry about today?"

"No, but—"

The elevator arrived at their floor, pinging as the doors opened to let them out. "Great! So now we can have a proper date!"

The word 'date' drew an automatic blush from Subaru. "D-date?" Yes, he enjoyed being with Seishirou, now that he knew that he could relax and take pleasure from their being together without having to worry about Hokuto or being hurt, but still, a _date_ , the two of them being a couple _in public_ … that was the bit Subaru was having trouble with.

It seemed that all the missing crowds of the Aquarium were on this level. Young women ducked in and out of the shops, some in groups, others dragging a boyfriend along with them. Men hurried past with briefcases adroitly avoiding the small children tagging behind their mothers or running ahead causing much anxiety. Thankfully Seishirou was tall, so that even in the chance that he was separated from Subaru, Subaru could easily find him.

Unexpectedly Seishirou nudged his arm. "Look, there's a fortune telling booth!"

Subaru looked. Tucked away a small distance from a shoe-store was a desk with a computer and printer. A young attractive woman sat behind it. On the desk was a placard advertising a fortune-telling for five hundred yen.

Subaru remembered it. He looked at the booth thoughtfully as Seishirou continued talking. "I hear they're very popular nowadays. Do you like that kind of thing, Subaru-kun?"

"Hm?" Subaru looked up at Seishirou. "Actually, fortune-telling is forbidden to me, since my job is along similar lines."

"Oh, I didn't know that."

 _Sure you didn't._ "Why don't _you_ try a fortune telling, Seishirou-san?" asked Subaru.

"Mm, no thank you." Suddenly Seishirou grinned. "I know something better."

Before Subaru could react, Seishirou grabbed his gloved hand and pulled him towards the booth. "S-Seishirou-san!"

The man smiled mischievously. "Let's get an affinity test done!"

"Wh- _what_!"

Seishirou stood him in front of the desk, patting him on the back. With his arm around Subaru in that manner there was no way Subaru could get away from the attendant who looked at them expectantly. "Don't worry!" the man said reassuringly. "Here you deal with a computer, not a fortune-teller, so you won't be breaking any rules."

"But I—"

Seishirou waved to the attendant. "Excuse me, Miss, we'd like to get an affinity test done." Subaru inwardly sighed and gave up. Seishirou had dragged him here before he had time to formulate any idea of what to do about it, and all he could do now was go along.

"Of course!" The attendant beamed politely at them. "Please give me your dates of birth."

"When's your birthday, Subaru-kun?" asked Seishirou.

Subaru raised an eyebrow, knowing perfectly well that Seishirou didn't need to ask him. "February 19, 1974. Did you forget, Seishirou-san?"

"And your place of birth?" asked the attendant as Seishirou feigned chagrin.

"Kyoto," said Subaru calmly. There really wasn't any point pretending otherwise when Seishirou knew already. He sensed Seishirou look at him in surprise, but he didn't say anything.

The attendant dutifully entered all the information into the computer. "And what about you, sir?" she asked Seishirou respectfully.

"Me?" Seishirou smiled with perfect charm. "I was born on April first, 1965, here in Tokyo."

Subaru motioned for the attendant to pause. "Really?" asked Subaru, one eyebrow raised at Seishirou.

Seishirou looked at him. "Of course. Why would I say otherwise?"

"Oh, I don't know." Subaru smiled. "Maybe you're lying about your age and are actually older than you say. Or maybe you want to keep it a secret for some reason. Or maybe—"

He broke off. Seishirou was staring at him. His glasses caught the light so Subaru couldn't see the man's eyes, but he easily see that Seishirou was not smiling. Subaru fell silent, as painfully as if someone had just put a hand around his throat. Too far, too fast, he shouldn't have pushed the Sakurazukamori like this … still Seishirou looked at him. Locked under the gaze of those glasses, Subaru swallowed nervously, even knowing that the Sakurazukamori was bound to his word of staying with and protecting Subaru for one year didn't help reassure him …

Just when Subaru thought that he would break from the tension, Seishirou calmly turned back to the attendant. "Pardon me. Let me change that. November 22, 1965, Kanazawa."

Too polite to say anything, the attendant complied. Subaru stared. Seishirou didn't look at him. Had it been anyone else, Subaru would have wondered if he was being given the cold shoulder treatment. Eventually Subaru turned away as well, wondering if for once Seishirou really had told a truth about himself, or if he had lied.

Again.

The sudden cooling of atmosphere must have been noticed by the attendant, for she tried to lighten things up. "It's nice to be in love with a student, isn't it sir," she said brightly to Seishirou.

In a split second Seishirou was back to his cheerful mask as if nothing had happened. "Oh yes! I just wish that my feelings were more openly returned." Subaru, staring at his feet, didn't respond.

"You make a delightful couple," said the attendant as the printer began to churn. "Your beloved is very beautiful. Her husky voice makes her such a lovely girl."

Subaru flushed. "I – I'm not a girl."

The attendant blinked. "Eh?"

"He's not a girl," said Seishirou. He slyly slid an arm around Subaru's waist, which caused the young onmyouji to turn a flaming red. "He's a boy."

The attendant's eyes turned wide. "Not a girl?!"

"S-Seishirou-san!"

Just like that, the tension had passed. Back they were, to ardent lover and shy adolescent as if nothing had happened, two points of safety that kept the scales in a deceptively stable balance. And now, Subaru was acutely aware of how precarious that balance was. Should he push or challenge the Sakurazukamori too far, they would both fall, but on the other hand, if he stayed huddled and didn't dare go further, then their game would end the same as last time. The trick was to see just _how_ far he could go …

His line of thought was shattered by a shrill _pi pi pi!_ from his bag. He jumped. The startled faces of Seishirou and the attendant – everyone within hearing distance, actually – didn't help matters much as he dug red-faced into his bag for the source of the noise which refused to shut up until he hauled his pager out into the open and turned it off. "S-sorry!"

"Don't worry, it's okay," said Seishirou reassuringly. "I didn't know you carried a pager."

Subaru tilted the pager's small screen away from the light to see the number. "Sometimes I get a call for a very important job and have to be contacted immediately," he explained absently.

"Onmyouji have certainly changed with the times if they carry a pager around. Who's the call from?"

"Hokuto-chan." Subaru sighed and put the pager away. For Hokuto, who took every chance there was (and created chances if they didn't exist) to make Subaru spend time with Seishirou, to call him up like this, the job must require his attention as soon as possible. Which meant cutting his 'date' with Seishirou short.

"You'd better give her a phone-call, then," said Seishirou, obviously having come to the same conclusion. The attendant, no doubt still flustered at the revelation that Seishirou was on a date with a high-school boy, had retrieved their test printout. She handed it to Seishirou who accepted it with a grin. "Let's hope the results are good, Subaru-kun!"

Subaru's lips tightened. The affinity test … "Yes, let's hope, but really, Seishirou-san, if you're joking around—"

"It's not a joke," said Seishirou, that affectionate smile on his face. "Don't you believe me after all this time?"

Subaru looked at him, one eyebrow raised. "Should I?"

Seishirou looked hurt. "But Subaru-kun, I love you!"

 

_"I don't hate you … but I don't love you either."_

 

For a long moment Subaru gazed at him, barely aware of the embarrassed attendant beside them. The smile on Seishirou's face slipped ever so slightly. Subaru turned away.

"I need to get to a phone."

 

* * *

 

"Whaa~at?! You went for a date at Ikebukuro's Sunshine 60?"

Subaru focused his gaze on the vaguely familiar fax in his hand and pretended not to hear his sister. If the bunny-ears and the tea tray she was carrying were anything to go by, her dress for today was the March Hare from Alice in Wonderland. "And what were you planning to do there?" demanded Hokuto.

Sitting on the floor of Subaru's living room Seishirou fluffed up one of the large lounging pillows. "Well, we wanted to go to the café for muffins, then to the coffee lounge for an omelette, then to the Hesian for some barbeque as well …"

Hokuto put the tea tray down right in front of Seishirou with a clatter and glared at him. "That sounds like some grand eating tour! Where's the romance in that?!" Seishirou simply laughed, and Hokuto turned her attention to her brother. "But seriously, Subaru, you don't even have time for a date!"

"Not my fault." Subaru waved the fax around. "You're the one who called up and interrupted, Hokuto-chan."

"It's all right," said Seishirou reassuringly. "We'll go eat that barbeque some other time."

Hokuto muttered something under her breath, costume bunny-ears wiggling in her exasperation, and reached for the teapot. "So what's the job this time?" she asked as she filled Subaru a cup.

Subaru took the tea. "Hokuto-chan, you know the 'Dial Q2' system, right?"

"Sure!" Hokuto frowned prettily as she remembered. "It's the one with all the double 9's in the phone number, right?"

"Uh huh. They've got something weird going on with their 'Party Line' and want me to look into it." He sipped the tea, letting its warmth seep into his gloves and envelope his hands.

Seishirou, holding the dinosaur-mug Hokuto had passed him, looked confused. "What's a 'Party Line' thing?"

"Don't you know, Sei-chan?" asked Hokuto, looking down at Seishirou as she filled his cup. The man smiled apologetically and requested explanation. Subaru, having heard it before, tuned out. This case, like the one with Mitsuki just recently, became familiar once he went through the facts again. Three schoolgirls harboring delusions about their place in the world had been researching old spells from magical disciplines, and using them to cause supernatural havoc over the phone at various companies. Their undisciplined practice of such techniques had affected the spiritual energies in their area, causing hauntings and nightmares. Subaru had taken it upon himself to stop them, but from what he remembered, it hadn't turned out as well as he had wanted it to. Actually, it hadn't turned out well at all. Two of the girls had lost their minds and been institutionalised, and the third had been frightened almost out of her wits and had to see a psychiatrist.

Subaru's lips tightened. No, not the best way to close a case. He'd have to take special care this time to make sure it didn't happen again.

"You're very informed, Hokuto-chan," commented Seishirou once Hokuto had explained the whole Party Line to him.

"It's natural that I should be! I'm an Aquarius after all."

"Speaking of star-signs," said Seishirou, remembering something, "Subaru-kun and I got an affinity test done at the Sunshine before you called."

Subaru suddenly made sure to seem as if he found his case report very fascinating.

"Really?!" As expected, Hokuto leapt at the subject as she always did with anything concerning her brother and Seishirou. "How was it?"

Seishirou extracted the printout from his pocket and held it out. "Haven't had time to check it, yet."

"Lemme see, lemme see!" There was a rustle of paper as Hokuto took the sheet from Seishirou and unfolded it. "Oh, Sei-chan's birthday is November 22, so that makes you a Scorpio."

"Is that so? I don't know much about the Zodiac."

"Hmm …" There was a minute of silence as Hokuto digested the affinity test. Subaru resisted the impulse to go and tear it out of his sister's hand and throw it in the bin where it belonged. It was utter rubbish to think that all the complexities and destinies of a relationship could be mapped out by computer, and even if Subaru gave it any credibility, Seishirou had probably been lying about his birth-date and place, so what was the point?

"Is something wrong?" asked Seishirou sounding worried.

Hokuto twisted on the floor cushions to face him. Subaru stole a glance at her, and also started to worry. Hokuto had that smile on her face which usually heralded mischief. "Here's an excerpt for you, Sei-chan. Scorpio male. 'You are persuasive and will not admit defeat once you have your mind fixed on a particular partner. You prefer to control your mate's emotions. Like everything else, you always give one hundred percent and of course you expect the same in return.' Oh, now _this_ is fun! 'When it comes to lovemaking you are capable of attaining the highest level of passion. To you sex is a competitive game, and revenge and jealousy are two of your characteristics that will surface if you aren't winning." She put down the piece of paper and winked at Seishirou who seemed completely unruffled, while Subaru, flaming red, buried his attention in his case report. "It seems, Sei-chan, that you have a bit of a dark side that only Subaru will discover!"

Subaru choked at the statement, made in such innocent humor. _Hokuto-chan, if only you knew …_ He glanced up at Seishirou. The man caught his eye and lifted his mug in a salute. There was a dark smile on his face, one that was more familiar to Subaru. "Don't worry, Subaru-kun," said the Sakurazukamori. "I promise I'll make the discovery part fun."

Hokuto's laughter pealed like silver bells throughout the room, becoming a counterpoint to Seishirou's own deeper laugh as Subaru looked at once both outraged and embarrassed. "S-Seishirou-san!"

"Come, come, what about Subaru-kun?" asked Seishirou, honey-gold eyes gleaming.

"What _about_ Subaru, indeed!" Hokuto flashed a naughty grin at her twin and coughed dramatically. "Ahem. Aquarius male. 'You need to be mentally intrigued before you will make your move on a prospective mate. Mind contact is a necessity for sexual fulfillment.' Ahaha, Sei-chan, you can't just be a handsome face! 'You are generous, open and sincere to those you care about, you like to get involved in your mate's interests. You will search for answers and the truth in any relationship. You are somewhat shy and will often wait for someone else to make the first move.'"

"Now _that_ is certainly accurate," Seishirou commented. Subaru muttered something and turned away. Still his sister continued.

"'Although you appear outwardly to be in a place faraway, you are really quite emotional and tender and long for someone special. When it comes to sexual encounters you are very imaginative, however, you also are a dreamer of erotic fantasies.' Oooh, Subaru, I never knew!"

"Thank goodness," muttered Subaru. Something stirred within him uneasily, flashes of images, sensation, of long dark nights lying in a cold bed with nothing but memory, memories that were too painful and made him flee to fantasy, which was almost as painful as memory because of all the 'could-have-beens' and 'might-have-beens' …

"And, finally, 'you fall in love quickly but you are also hesitant to commit completely to anyone.'" Hokuto put the paper down and looked at her brother. "That is _so_ you, Subaru!"

Subaru made a face. "Come on, Hokuto-chan, you know those things are ridiculous. How can every single person born within that time period fit the same personality profile?"

Hokuto winked. "It's not as hard as you think. Every Aquarian who reads this profile would twist it according to their point of view to fit their own lives. Besides, all the magazines carry the horoscope nowadays, it's the end of the century and there's a boom for the occult all around the world! Surely they can't _all_ be wrong."

"So is the end of the century is a reason for the occult to be in fashion?" asked Seishirou curiously.

Hokuto turned back to the printout, reading further as she absently replied, "Well, the prophecies of Nostradamus and the Bible say that in the year 1999 the world will be destroyed—"

There was the sound of something hitting the floor. Hokuto broke off and turned around. "Subaru?"

Subaru tried to smile. "It's fine, Hokuto-chan. I was just clumsy and knocked the tea over." With shaking hands he got one of the napkins off the tray and used it to wipe up the spilled tea. It made his leather gloves slippery.

"Are you all right, Subaru-kun?"

Subaru's hands tightened—

 

_"So. This is how it ends."_

_a faint sound of clashing swords rings through the air_

_no more time at the end of time_

 

—he forced them to relax. "I'm fine."

He felt Hokuto and Seishirou looking at him for a long moment. Subaru kept his eyes on the floor as he cleaned up. Once he wiped up all the tea he put the soiled napkin on the tray and tried to avoid their gaze. Perhaps sensing that Subaru found the topic uncomfortable, Seishirou changed the subject. "So what's the job about?"

"Huh?" It took a moment for Subaru to realise that he was being asked a question. "Oh … um, lately over Tokyo there have been a lot of phone pranks."

"Phone pranks? I get a lot of those at the clinic. They say things like, 'What are you doing now?' or 'What's the color of your underwear, lady?' is a gasping voice." Seishirou chuckled. "Since I'm not a woman and can't satisfy their curiosity, as a consolation I let them listen to the voices of my patients; Mr. Cat, Mr. Dog, Mr. Monkey …" Subaru couldn't help but smile himself a little at the mental image of Seishirou, upstanding veterinarian and ruthless assassin, rolling his eyes at some nameless perverted caller and holding the phone's mouthpiece out to a dog. "What do phone pranks have to do with the job?" asked Seishirou, all business again.

"Phone numbers with '1999' in their last four digits have been receiving an unusual amount of phone pranks in the last few months," explained Subaru, the exercise of reciting facts a familiar rhythm that settled his mind and emotions. "However, they're not like ordinary phone pranks. They seem to be more like spells. At first people thought them to be nothing out of ordinary, but then accidents began to happen at the places that received the call. So, the NTT company decided to track down the calls and discovered that they were being made from a Party Line belonging to the Q2 access system."

"Then it's almost impossible to find the culprit since anyone can access that line."

Subaru nodded. Offside, Hokuto was intently going through the details of the affinity test. "Yes, so since the NTT can't do anything, they've asked for the Sumeragi clan's help."

"What kind of spells are being used?" asked Seishirou curiously.

Subaru flipped a page of the case report. "It seems to be a lot of different ones; Islamic, Cabalistic, black magic … they use everything."

"What a broad variety!"

"Uh huh. It indicates that either the persons behind it are very good sorcerers, or maybe they are—"

He was interrupted by an irritated noise from Hokuto. " You guys, this is not looking good!"

"What isn't?" asked Subaru.

"Your affinity test! You're _negative_!"

Subaru and Seishirou both blinked in utter confusion. "Uh, what does that mean?"

Hokuto twisted on the floor cushions to look at them. "'You are polar opposites. Scorpio has a desire to possess while Aquarius needs freedom of choice. Values, ethics and approach to life are just too different.' That just doesn't make sense!"

"Oh? Why not?" asked Subaru, one eyebrow raised.

"Look at you two! Sei-chan's a vet, you want to be someone who cares for animals. You're both from onmyouji families. More importantly," here Hokuto fixed them both with a penetrating gaze, "you both need someone special."

Subaru carefully kept his face expressionless and turned away from Seishirou. Hokuto was always so bold and flippant, sometimes it was easy to forget the strength of her intuition. However his sister was only mortal, a fact that Subaru knew all-too-painfully, and the first time this life had passed, she had proved fatally wrong …

"Is there anything else?" asked Seishirou, his voice neutral.

"We-ell," Hokuto dragged the word out into three syllables, "according to this your passions will lead to conflict, and if one or both of the parties doesn't compromise it'll result in destruction and be almost impossible to recover from. Certainly enough conflict to ruin an entire day, or even an entire life—"

Without warning Subaru stood up. He strode over to his sister, yanked the paper out of her startled hands, and then before anyone could react, scrunched it up on his way to the kitchen and threw it violently into the bin.

"Subaru!" Hokuto glared at him, outraged. "What's the matter with you?"

"I don't want to hear anymore," Subaru retorted. He returned to the group and flung himself into the nearest cushion. "It was a stupid idea to get that test done, Seishirou-san. I did _not_ want to hear all of that!"

Seeing that her brother was truly upset, Hokuto immediately lost all of her indignation. "But Subaru, I thought you didn't believe in that kind of thing."

Subaru refused to look up. "I don't. I just … didn't want to hear that."

"Subaru-kun." There was a note of almost genuine worry in Seishirou's voice. "Are you crying?"

With a start Subaru realised that he was. Angrily he wiped his eyes with his gloved hands, leaving liquid trails along the leather that caught the light. "No," he said shortly.

"You don't have to hide it, Subaru-kun." Despite himself, despite everything, Subaru felt his pulse quicken as Seishirou moved to sit facing him. Still Subaru refused to lift his head. Seishirou's face softened. "You're correct; it is ridiculous to think that an entire person's life can be determined by a simple test. Cheer up, you don't have to take it so seriously." Before Subaru could react, Seishirou caught his chin in his fingers and tilted his face up to look at him. Seishirou was smiling. "It was only a joke."

Subaru didn't return the smile. "Like that April first Tokyo thing of yours was a joke?"

It was almost imperceptible, but it happened. The fingers holding his chin tightened. Too late Subaru realised how vulnerable a position he was in, letting the Sakurazukamori touch him like this. Thankfully, Hokuto interrupted them. "It's okay Subaru, really." She sat down beside her brother and wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him out of Seishirou's grasp to rest his head against her shoulder. "You'll just have to work harder!"

Subaru tried to smile as Seishirou switched back to joviality. "Yes, the harder the obstacle, the brighter the flame of love burns!"

"Well said!" Hokuto beamed. "Exactly what I expect from my future brother-in-law!"

Subaru turned red. "H-Hokuto-chan!"

"But we are distracting you from your work. Work always makes you feel better." Seishirou picked up the case report that Subaru had left on the floor and handed it back to him. "Any idea how you're going to go about it?" Subaru shook his head, suddenly feeling very tired. He wanted to do nothing more than to curl up in his sister's arms, a place of safety that could be so easily snatched away. Seishirou thought for a moment. "I have an idea! Do you know the number of this 'Party Line'?"

"It should be on the report somewhere."

Seishirou flipped a few pages and found it. "Then why don't you try calling it up and see what you find?"

"Yes, that's a great idea!" Hokuto was quick to jump in on the decision. "You might hit it lucky."

Under the assault of both his sister and Seishirou's encouragement Subaru found himself reaching for the cordless phone before he even remembered that this was exactly what had happened last time. Seishirou called out the number to him in his clear voice for Subaru to input and it wasn't long at all before Subaru had the phone sitting on 'speaker' in front of him listening to it ring. Hokuto and Seishirou moved quietly off-side.

Subaru took a deep breath as the phone's ringing echoed in the room. After a moment or two the phone beeped. Hokuto gave him a thumbs up.

"Yes?"

The voice that answered was young, female, and suspicious. Not much to start off with. "Uh, hi there," said Subaru feeling a little silly. "Um, is this the Party Line thing?"

"Who is this?" the girl's voice asked.

There was a movement out of the corner of his eye. Subaru turned to see Hokuto scribbling something on the back of his fax to display to him, 'You don't need to use your real name! Everyone uses a nickname!'

"What is your name," the girl demanded.

 _Ah. This I remember_. Carefully Subaru watched his audience. Seishirou grabbed the fax and pen off Hokuto and wrote something. Before the man could show him, however, Subaru answered the question.

"Pochi."

There was a pause. The name felt just as silly as last time – sillier, actually, now that Subaru could better comprehend the meaning of dignity – but that one startled look that flashed across the Sakurazukamori's face was all Subaru needed.

Subaru smiled.

"Are you one of our companions?" the voice on the other end of the phone asked. She was still wary, but now there was something else – hope? excitement? "Do you have any 'special powers'?"

Seishirou and Hokuto blinked. Subaru feigned confusion. "What do you mean?"

The girl's voice lowered, as if sharing a secret. "What comes to your mind when you hear the number '1999'?"

 

_… blood, fire_

_the sound of clashing swords_

_warmth, acceptance, sorrow_

_pain—_

 

Subaru cut off the memory and its associated emotions like a gardener cutting dead wood. Now was not the time for this. He slipped a sheaf of ofuda out of his pocket. "I take it that if you're asking me these questions, you're the one responsible for all those spells?" he asked calmly.

The reaction was immediate. Someone – another girl – gasped in fright, quickly followed by another.

"Enemy!"

"It's the enemy!"

 _Here we go again …_ Subaru was already beginning the counter-spell to the Sanskrit chanting that started to emanate from the phone. A foul-smelling mist billowed from the grill of the earpiece, a physical manifestation of the magic coming through. As it did so, the lights flickered off, and the room began to shake violently.

"Su-Subaru!" yelled Hokuto from somewhere.

Subaru had no time to look at her. It seemed like the room was caught in a localized earthquake – Subaru fervently hoped his neighbors in the floor below were out – tipping the kettle over and spilling tea all over the floor. Small arcs of lightning were striking out from the phone – some of them skittered over his arm and Subaru felt his nerves tingle painfully as if an acupuncture needle had been stuck there. The mist was filling the room, making it difficult to see, but Subaru didn't need eyes to work. Words rolling off his tongue, Subaru threw the ofuda.

" _On basaragini harajihattaya sowaka._ " Subaru closed his eyes, mentally guided the ofuda to five points surrounding point of _wrongness_ that was the phone, forming a pentagon and holding them in place with his will. The air crackled making his hair stand on end as the two spells wrestled for supremacy. " _On barodaya sowaka …_ "

The chanting from the phone was growing more intense. Closing his eyes, Subaru clasped his hands together, standing tall while the floor trembled.

" _On – boku – ken!"_

Subaru summoned the kekkai, glowing walls of pure light. The little electrical strikes struck it uselessly, growing brighter as the kekkai trapped the spell inside the enclosed space, only to disappear abruptly moments later. The chanting suddenly cut off. For a moment the mist from the phone swirled behind the barrier like a caged thing, then the phone let out a long, monotone beep.

Subaru exhaled a breath as the lights came back on. The momentary confrontation might have been against amateur magicians, and the mirror-spell wasn't all that difficult, but he had been directing it at three different people at three separate locations. He felt as if he had just done a hundred meter sprint with his legs chained together.

Somewhere behind him, there was a groan. Subaru turned worriedly as the mist dissipated, thankfully taking the smell with it. "Is everyone all right? Hokuto-chan?"

Hokuto looked a little shaky but otherwise was unhurt. "What was that?"

"An inverted mantra," answered Seishirou, picking up the fallen pot-plants. The Sakurazukamori, Subaru noted, looked completely unruffled by the incident.

"An inverted whatsit?"

"Inverted mantra," repeated Subaru, relieved as Hokuto rapidly regained her composure. "It's supposed to be a spell for protection, but when chanted backwards it becomes a curse." He sighed; his living room was a mess, as if a miniature storm had hit it. "The problem with phones is that it connects two spiritual spaces into one, so the apartment kekkai didn't react to the attack."

Hokuto looked outraged. "How pathetic! The kekkai of Japan's top onmyouji can be defeated by the modern home appliance? Hmph!"

"They were girls' voices, weren't they," commented Seishirou.

Hokuto nodded. "They sounded about my age."

Subaru went to fetch the fallen kettle. He was feeling a little dizzy, something which disturbed him. "Since they sent an inverted mantra over the phone, I think we can safely assume that they're the ones responsible for all those phone pranks. One thing I'm certain of, though, is that they're not onmyouji."

"Are you sure?" asked Hokuto.

"If they knew how to cast an inverted mantra, they probably know other techniques, Cabalistic and Christian and such," explained Seishirou. "But a true onmyouji wouldn't use them. I'm sure Subaru-kun knows every spell in both black and white magic, but he's never used them, yes?" Subaru nodded. "Those spells are not something you can play around with without consequences, because their effectiveness relies purely on the caster's ability. The more powerful the spell, the more dire the consequences should the spell not succeed. A professional onmyouji knows the dangers, and so he would never try what is strictly prohibited."

Subaru half-listened to Seishirou's explanation with a mixture of wry admiration and disbelief. Now that he thought about it, why hadn't Seishirou's obviously intimate knowledge of onmyoujitsu techniques and practices warned him the first time that his veterinary friend wasn't what he seemed to be?

"Wow, Sei-chan, you know so much! So? So? C'mon, tell me, are you related to that assassin group Sakurazukamori? Tell me, tell me!"

"Oh dear, we seem to be out of tea, I'll go get some more!"

"Oi! Every time I ask you about this you go and change the subject!"

Even Hokuto, who had little onmyoujitsu power to speak of, had picked up on that detail. Subaru shook his head at how foolishly naïve and trusting he had been. _What a blind fool._

Leaving the mess until later, they moved to the dining room. Seishirou carried the discarded cups to the sink and brought out three fresh glasses, then went to look for ice. "But that was quick thinking, Subaru-kun, with the mirror-spell, given the suddenness of the attack. Very well executed, too." He flashed a seemingly casual complimentary smile as he put the kettle on. "Though I do wonder at how you predicted what nickname I was about to suggest. What a coincidence!"

Subaru shrugged, going with Hokuto to sit on the stools. It felt good to be sitting down. "First thing that came to mind," he replied as nonchalantly as possible to the light probe. Inside he was tense – had that little jab at Seishirou been a good idea? Never mind, it was done, and he had to live with it. Though it would be easier if his head wasn't throbbing so. "Maybe we think alike."

"There you go!" Hokuto beamed, oblivious as Subaru silently thanked her for her moderating presence. "Affinity tests aren't the be all and end all!"

Subaru coughed. Seishirou tactfully changed the subject. "Well, if our little friends are just doing it for fun, then Subaru-kun's spell should have taught them a good lesson." He poured the hot water over the tea strainer into the glasses with a wicked grin. "So, if they were not suitably prepared …"

"Uh oh," Hokuto winced. "Those poor girls!"

Subaru reached gratefully for the iced tea Seishirou pushed towards him. "They should be all right. They'll probably vomit everything they've eaten today rather painfully, though." He drank deeply; it soothed his dry throat, but not his head, which felt as if it were a spinning top. Why was the backlash so bad this time? _  
_

"Really? Eww!" Hokuto's face was an expression of comic shock. "The Dial Q2 system can be accessed from anywhere – I sure hope they were at home when they threw up, otherwise they'll never get married with public behavior like that!"

His head was rapidly feeling worse – Subaru gave up on trying to combat the backlash and slumped forward to rest his head on the counter with a little groan. Seishirou looked down at him with a worried expression. "Subaru-kun?"

"Uh oh, _now_ what have you done to yourself?" Hokuto reached over to press a cool hand against his head. Subaru closed his eyes, sensing rather than seeing her grimace. "You're burning up. What have I told you about taking care of yourself while spell-casting?" Subaru muttered something inaudible. Hokuto sighed and tugged at his arm. "Come on. Off to bed with you."

Subaru tried to shake his head with as little movement as possible. "Can't. Have to finish job."

"It's not urgent, it can wait until tomorrow."

"Can't. If those girls keep going on like this they'll get into serious trouble."

Hokuto glared, but seeing as Subaru had shut his eyes it was rather ineffective. "At least wait until tonight or something. You _will_ get some rest!"

Subaru was about to argue further when without warning, he found himself bodily lifted up. He yelped, flailing for something to grab onto – which turned out to be Seishirou's neck.

Seishirou grinned down the very short distance into Subaru's face as Hokuto cheered. "Please don't strangle me, Subaru-kun. The chance to hold you like this doesn't come very often."

Subaru turned red, whether in embarrassment or outrage he wasn't sure. "S-Seishirou-san!"

"Woo woo, you go, Sei-chan!" Hokuto applauded.

Seishirou laughed, the sensation of which Subaru could feel uncomfortably close as he rested against the man's chest. "Can you open the door, Hokuto-chan? My hands are rather full."

Giggling that silver bells way of hers, Hokuto skipped to the lounge room door and opened it, then dashed out into the corridor to Subaru's room. Subaru blushed as a rather fanciful imitation of the wedding march was heard trailing after her. "Really, Seishirou-san, you don't have to carry me like this."

"You know my greatest pleasure in life is to take care of you. Besides, isn't it the man's job to always be ready to look after his beloved?"

Something about the remark, the usual teasing, discomfited Subaru differently than it usually did. Still smiling, Seishirou shifted his arms slightly to bear Subaru's weight better, then carried him out of the room. It was, Subaru realised with some surprise, a pleasant experience. He felt as if he were weightless, a child held aloft by a strength that although he knew was deadly, could also be inexplicably gentle …

"Are you all right?" asked Seishirou softly.

Subaru opened his eyes, startled out of the half-doze he had been slipping into on Seishirou's shoulder. He felt warm. "Mm."

Seishirou chuckled, walking slowly so as not to jolt him. In the dimness of the corridor, his hunter's eyes seemed to gleam. "That's good to hear. I'd hate to see such a talented onmyouji be defeated by his own _sakanagi_."

Subaru blinked. Seishirou didn't notice, but continued talking. "That was most impressive back there. You really have so much potential. If it is truly realised … I hope to be given the honor of witnessing it."

There was no reply to this. Maybe Seishirou thought that Subaru was exhausted and falling asleep. In actuality Subaru was using all of his concentration and strength of will to keep his body relaxed. Cradled as he was in Seishirou's arms, the slightest tension on his part would be immediately apparent. Still, he wondered that his heartbeat hadn't already given himself, his sudden flash of inexplicable realisation, away.

 

_To be more than a 'thing' in your eyes …_

 

A subtle shift in gravity as they turned a corner, and they were in his room. Hokuto had pulled the curtains closed ("you two look _so_ sweet!") creating a little pocket of cool darkness in the afternoon that soothed Subaru's head immediately. He didn't resist as Seishirou laid him down on his bed and drew the covers up beneath his chin. "Go to sleep, Subaru-kun. A bit of rest and you'll be fine."

Hokuto brushed her hand along his forehead one more time, then bent down to kiss him. "Don't worry, brother-mine," she reassured him. "Sei-chan and I will clean up the living room then go to my apartment for a while, but I promise we'll come back and wake you up later so you can finish."

Subaru smiled, closing his eyes as if already going to sleep. "All right, Hokuto-chan." He paused for a moment, hesitating. "And … Seishirou-san?"

There was a slight movement not very far away. "Yes?"

"Thank you. For the lift, I mean," he quickly added.

A smile, like a beam of sunlight on a foggy day. "It was my pleasure."

Subaru heard murmured whispers for a few moments, then the sound of the door being quietly closed. Subaru lay still for a few minutes, listening as Hokuto's light steps grew fainter. He couldn't hear Seishirou's footsteps. What was he thinking, of course he couldn't. Hunters had to move silently if they wanted to catch their prey.

He opened his eyes. Quietly, Subaru got out of bed and went to his cupboard where he found a few wands of incense and a box of matches. He didn't have anything to hold the incense in, and he dared not go to his study yet. In the end Subaru stuck the incense sticks in the soil of one of the pot-plants near the window, and, lighting them, sat down beside it in a lotus position. He breathed deeply, using the wisps of fragrant smoke as a focus to clear his mind of all distraction. Once he was ready, he sank into a meditation as if slipping into a dark sea where there was nothing but heavy silence, broken only by a few small yet evocative thoughts that slipped through the black water like tiny luminescent fish. Though meditation was meant to relax and calm, Subaru felt his pulse quickening. Anticipating.

 

_"There's so much potential in you. If it is truly realised … I hope to be given the honor of witnessing it."_

 

 _This is not a just job._ Subaru let the thought harden into diamond of determination. _This is not just about saving those girls. This is a challenge._

 

_"For me, breaking your arm is like breaking glass … I feel nothing."_

_If I couldn't even make you see me as a person, how was I to make you love me?_

 

Trying to ignore the muted headache that was throbbing at the limits of his senses, Subaru called upon his deepest reserves of power. _Watch me, Sakurazukamori. I'll prove to you just what I'm capable of._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- The horoscope and zodiac quotes are real. I found them at the same place that I tried the date affinity test for Subaru and Seishirou; Lovetest.com.


	4. Call B

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm not doubting your ability, Subaru-kun, I just wish to point out that even you have your limits. You may be perhaps the best onmyouji of this age, but you are only sixteen years old. What you've been doing would lay an older and seasoned onmyouji flat for a week."

Subaru remained in meditation for several hours, planning how to approach the coming exorcism and forcing the backlash from the mirror-spell into a place where it could be dealt with. The strength of the backlash did trouble him a little, but. By all rights it should not have been so bad; after all, the spell hadn't been a particularly difficult piece of magic, and he remembered being able to work much more powerful spells when he had been fighting as a Dragon of Heaven without suffering any repercussions whatsoever. Now was not the time to deal with it, however, and when he sensed Hokuto and Seishirou return from wherever they had gone, he brought himself out of the meditation and went to the closet for his robes. He neglected to make his bed look slept in, though, which meant when his twin sister bounded in she knew immediately that he had _not_ slept, that in fact he had been meditating since the smell of incense was still lingering in the room, which _then_ meant he had to bear with her yelling that he was _not_ a robot and promise her that he would sleep once he finished the ceremony. It didn't help that throughout the whole tirade Seishirou had leant against the doorjamb of his bedroom laughing at it all. He stopped only when a fuming Hokuto pushed him out telling him in between scoldings about being a pervert that he could look at her brother as much as he wanted when Subaru was properly dressed. Which Seishirou did.

"Ooh, full regalia!" said Seishirou admiringly as Subaru entered the living room. Subaru made some vague sound in response, checking over his shikifuku. The pristine white robes brought back more than a few bad memories, but he managed to put them out of his mind. It probably helped that his head was still aching, though somewhat less after the afternoon's meditation. Perhaps he should have slept like Hokuto had said, at least for a while, but what was done was done. He was just going to have to deal with it.

On the other side of the room, obviously over her earlier ranting, Hokuto was putting the last of the pot-plants away. "He may not look it, but Subaru is a pro," she said.

"What do you mean, I don't look like a pro?" asked Subaru, unwrapping a ceremonial dagger and inspecting it. Four other daggers stood stuck into the floor forming the corners of a square around the small altar that had been set up. There was a small circular mirror on the altar, flanked by two bottle-vases with flowers.

"You're only sixteen, Subaru. You're the youngest practicing onmyouji in the country."

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"In terms of talent you're head and shoulders above the rest, Subaru-kun," said Seishirou. "However, there is no substitute for experience. You've had many clients look on you a little dubiously despite your reputation for no other reason other than your youth, yes?" Subaru nodded slightly. Seishirou smiled. "Well, I'm sure any doubts they had at first glance were quickly dispelled."

Hokuto nodded. "Exactly what I meant. You're already good, Subaru, but just imagine what you'll be capable of when you're older."

Subaru wore a tight smile on his face that he carefully kept hidden from the others. He didn't need to imagine his skills in future, and if everything went as he had planned then he would be able to show Hokuto – and Seishirou – some of that. In his hand the dagger's blade was a smooth deadly finish, and Subaru satisfactorily slid it back into its sheath. "Experience or not, everything's ready. Are you going to stay and watch?" he asked Seishirou.

"If you want me to."

Subaru smiled a little. "I'd like that."

"Then I shall."

"Oi, you two, don't create a world of your own!" Hokuto shoved herself in between them. "I _am_ still here you know!"

"But every chance must be treasured!" protested Seishirou. "Especially now, since Subaru-kun actually welcomes my presence."

Subaru flushed. "You've always been welcome," he said shortly.

"Ah, such dedication is paying off!" Hokuto beamed. Subaru coughed a little, which was Seishirou's signal to change the subject.

"So what are you planning on doing, Subaru-kun?"

Subaru wrapped the dagger in silk and put it in the sash of his robes. "I'm going to find out where those Dial Q2 girls live first. Their magic working has undoubtedly disturbed the spirits in their area, so I'm going to have to exorcise them before attempting any purification. Once that's done I can deal with the girls – with the way they've been practicing the Art, they're a danger to themselves as well as other people."

Seishirou smiled at him. "You truly are a kind person, Subaru-kun."

Subaru shrugged a little uncomfortably. "Not really. I'm being paid to do this." _And more personal reasons, Sakurazukamori._

Hokuto came up and leaned on his shoulder, ruffling his hair. "But you'll still be giving it your all, won't you, little brother."

"Now that I think about it, Subaru-kun's not the only one who has gotten dressed up for the occasion," said Seishirou. He looked Hokuto up and down; she was wearing what looked like oversized puffy pantaloons with a butterfly-styled bodice. "Why did you get changed, Hokuto-chan?"

With a silvery laugh Hokuto struck a pose. "Because Subaru might get lonely!"

"You're such a kind sister, Hokuto-chan!"

More laughter. "You only just noticed?"

Subaru ignored them, already in mental preparation for the ceremony. He walked away and, with a flick of his robes, knelt in front of the makeshift altar. Taking a deep breath he closed his eyes, settling himself and trying to ignore the throbbing in his temple. A soft _click_ as Hokuto presumably switched off the room lights, and they were ready.

Subaru took out an ofuda and placed it on the floor before him. Letting his consciousness sink into that pool of calm for magic-working he held his hand over the ofuda and chanted the spell that would bring it to life. It raised itself off the ground with barely a rustle as it moved to levitate just above his gloved hand. Subaru opened his eyes.

"Fly," he whispered.

The ofuda began to shine softly, hardly adding to the glow of the city-lights outside the balcony window. Of its own accord it began to move, writhing like a living thing as it stretched outwards, taking shape … wings began to beat, no longer paper but feathers, then in a puff of mist, the transformation was complete. The three-headed white crow circled the room with an eerie cry, waiting for orders.

 _Search_ , Subaru told the shikigami silently. He thought of the three girls whom he had failed to save before and had touched again just briefly over the phone. _Find these people for me_.

Another cry, and with a silent beat of wings the shikigami glided through the window and out into the night sky. Subaru watched it for a moment until it was lost to sight, then closed his eyes. He didn't have to see his shikigami to follow it. Somewhere off-side he could hear Hokuto and Seishirou murmuring to each other. He couldn't hear the words but there was an admiring note to Seishirou's voice that pleased him.

He smiled. _Keep watching, Sakurazukamori. I've only just begun._

A triad-chord of calls rang in his mind as the shikigami's heads turned in different directions sensing something. As each of those heads focused on their own target, the spirit-bird split into three, allowing each individual to set off on its own. Two of them found a house, the third an apartment, all in different sections of the city. On the surface they were perfectly normal places, but a probe into the spiritual energies surrounding each proved otherwise. It was dark and unsettled, just like Subaru remembered.

Moving carefully he turned to survey the houses themselves. As expected, there was an invisible barrier surrounding each, but unlike the finely-crafted shells Subaru put up these were unsound, yielding. They would probably keep out most attacks, but like paper screens would gradually buckle under pressure until finally something penetrated. Worse still, instead of existing in harmony with the innate energies of the area these kekkai clashed as harshly as skyscrapers in a forest of trees, meaning that the area enclosed inside became a focus for negativity.

Subaru shook his head, almost embarrassed at the unskilled magic-workings. _It's quiet now, but the situation is like a dormant volcano – it could go at any moment. I don't have much time._ Taking care not to disturb the kekkai, Subaru sent his scouts to the windows. Using three shikigami at once was rather disorientating as what each observed superimposed over each other in the mirror in front of him, but Subaru was long used to sorting out the images. At all three homes the lights were out, but that didn't necessarily mean people were asleep. As his spies drew closer, Subaru realized his suspicions were right. Three girls, high school students only, cradled phones against their ears. One of them was leaning against the wall of what seemed to be the kitchen, a distinct coldness to her eyes. "Did you have the same dream?" she asked a hoarse voice.

The second girl was sitting in bed, and wore heavy glasses on a chubby face. Subaru concentrated, trying to feel for her name, the single word that identified her. "Yeah," she said in reply to the first.

"What about you?"

The girl to whom the question had been directed was the youngest, still of age to have teddy bears. Her eyes were wide, and her face was pale.

"Was it one of your precognitory dreams?" asked the second girl. Her name came finally: Hachiouji. There was a rasp to her words as she spoke.

"No!" The youngest girl – _Misato,_ noted Subaru – shook her head vehemently, then coughed into a handkerchief. "It was not a precognitory dream!" She coughed again, and Subaru started as he realized that the handkerchief was stained red.

"Are you still coughing up blood?" asked the first girl. Her name was the most elusive, implying a mind that kept itself closed off from people, but Subaru managed to find it at last: Asagaya. "Be strong. It will soon stop."

Misato wiped her mouth. "My throat hurts …"

"So do ours. The enemy wishes to stop us from talking to each other – that's why he sent us that spell when we tried to destroy him earlier!"

 _What?_ Subaru inched the shikigami cautiously closer – even an improperly cast kekkai would react to the presence of a spy. _I thought the mirror-spell was only strong enough to make them feel sick, not hurt them like this._

"The enemy has attacked us twice," Asagaya, the leader, was saying. "He's attacked our bodies and attacked our dreams because he is afraid our special powers will defeat him."

Hachiouji nodded vigorously. "Yes! That's it! He showed us those dreams to frighten us!"

"So that means …" Misato trailed off, clutching the bloodstained handkerchief and teddy bear close for comfort.

Asagaya smiled thinly. "That our powers are wondrous."

In any other circumstance Subaru might have found the conversation amusing. As things were, it was only pathetic. Most likely the girls were social outcasts at school – frightening eyes? overweight? insecure? – and perhaps the first time this life had been lived Subaru had felt sorry for them. Now … they were more of a means to an end than anything else.

 _The first time this all happened I had to stop before I could purify the girls of the curse they had brought upon themselves, which meant I had to finish up later. But that didn't work out either; I fainted after exorcising one girl, which meant the other two succumbed to the sakanagi and went mad._ He took a deep breath, setting his will in place. _I can't let that happen again. I have see it all through at once._

Keeping his mind firmly fixed on the three locations as the girls continued their discussion, Subaru began to chant softly. His activities did not go unnoticed. He heard the girls exclaim in fright as their ofuda began glowing, a warning of the movement in the magical energies nearby. He ignored them, and kept on ignoring them as the turmoil he was stirring up in the spiritual world was displayed in the material by shattering glass and flying books. His chant was summoning the disturbed spirits in the area, a dangerous gambit, but he couldn't exorcise them unless they were in the open. He only hoped that the girls he was trying to save didn't end up interfering or distracting him. Already he could hear them screaming as ghosts, twisted beings with malevolent faces, began to rise like foul mist from the floor. Those beyond the limits of the kekkai pressed right up against the barriers staring hungrily at the young life within they could not reach. Those inside the kekkai, however, were not so hampered. The screams of the three terrified girls rose in pitch as they cowered away from the clawed hands stretching out for them. There were scores of the spirits, Subaru noted, far more than what he recalled from last time. His spell had summoned them all. The sixteen-year old onmyouji he had been before might have felt worried at so many; Subaru now, with all the experience and hardening the years up to the Final Day had given him, was not.

"NO! Get away from me!" Misato scrambled frantically out of her bed as the spirits drew closer, dragging the teddy with her as if the toy would provide some protection. The bloodstained handkerchief fell to the floor and immediately the nearest spirit leapt at it, quickly followed by others. They tore at it like a pack of feral dogs, trying to get at the blood. It didn't take long for them to realize that this was only a taste, and Misato screamed again as they turned hollow yellow eyes on her. Across the city Hachiouji was trapped with her back to the wall, unable to do anything except raise her arms protectively about her head as the spirits clawed at her feet. Subaru had to move faster. Shutting his ears to the screaming he freed the ceremonial dagger from the silk, the spell rolling off his tongue. He was gasping, some part of him realized, the physical demands of casting powerful spells long-distance taking their toll. His headache of earlier flared back to full strength and he gritted his teeth, forcing it all back as he determinedly continued. In his mind the bright points that were his shikigami flared to three times their size, a trumpeting call heralding their metamorphosis as Subaru transfused his power to them. Presence thus established at the far away sites, Subaru could proceed.

His hand was trembling as he lifted the dagger. The gloves didn't help either. Subaru gripped the hilt determinedly, more than a little irritated at his weakness, and raised his voice. " _Rin – pyo – tou – sha – kai–_ "

The spirits closed in on the terrified girls. Subaru's three shikigami dived to the attack.

"– _jin – retsu – zai – zen – ha!_ "

He stabbed the dagger into the floor with the last syllable. Far away, his shikigami shone like miniature supernovas, their blinding light burning away the darkness and the faulty kekkai. With strange empty howls the spirits melted away like rain, sinking back into the ground they had come from leaving merely their hands that trailed over the girls before they too, disappeared. It was a little while before either Misato or Hachiouji noticed their departure; they kept screaming and kicking at empty air before realizing that they were alone. Asagaya, although obviously shaking, was comparatively quicker to regain control. One of her hands, Subaru noticed, was half raised as if to ward off something, or perhaps try a spell.

Subaru took a brief second to regain his breath. With the immediate threat and the faulty kekkai gone, he was free to turn his attention to the long term. Letting go of the dagger, Subaru folded his fingers into the two-finger focus and began the finale: to cleanse, to calm, to purify. His shikigami morphed back into paper ofuda, floating down like snow in front of the girls' startled eyes. Hachiouji went so far as to reach for it, only to drop it as it began to glow with a soft light.

" _Noubou aratannou tarayaaya._ " Subaru wove the purification spell carefully, feeling the magic pour through him like cold water to the three places he could see in the mirror. It was refreshing, allowing him to bypass the strain he was feeling, rather how the sight of the finish line lifts the spirit of a marathon runner – but even though he had the will, whether his body had the strength was another matter. " _Nou makuariya mitabaya …_ "

It was strong, the flow of the magic. The meditation of earlier had given him access to more power than he usually did; he was a wellspring of it, but as the magic poured out of him to cleanse the taint the three girls had brought upon themselves and their homes, it left behind an empty hollow that could be all too easy to slip into …

"… _tatagyataya arakatei …_ "

The light grew brighter. The girls instinctively covered their eyes and cringed away. Subaru could feel his heart pounding. Just a little more, he told himself stubbornly, just a little more effort then it would be over – the mirror in front of Subaru cracked; he was losing the contact. Gritting his teeth he forced himself to finish, holding the scrying through sheer will and pride and hope …

"… _sanmyaku sambodya …_ "

Was the Sakurazukamori watching him?

"… _tanitaya …On._ "

The mirror shattered into three. Far away, Subaru felt his ofuda flare, then disappear. He exhaled deeply, the satisfaction he felt at completing it all at odds with the absolute exhaustion he felt. Not to mention his headache.

Shakily Subaru rose to his feet. He swayed a little, wincing at the light that suddenly turned on, and turned to his two witnesses. Hokuto was already reaching for him worriedly. As for Seishirou … Subaru tried to catch the man's eye, but for some reason he couldn't. Forcing a smile on his face, he stood up tall.

"It's done."

That was all he managed to say before his legs gave way and the darkness captured him.

 

* * *

 

There is no definite point at which one wakes up. There is sleep, and then there is waking, but there is no actual break between the two. Perhaps the closest to it is when the mind is processing information while the body is still limp and unresponsive, but it is still a state of waking – or is it dreaming, and therefore sleep?

For Subaru, it was simply that one moment he was dead to the world, the next he was registering the fact that he was rather hot. It was just uncomfortable enough for him not to like it, which meant if he wanted to sleep longer he would have to change something. There was any number of factors in his surroundings that could be adjusted to make him feel cooler; the too-heavy blankets, the gloves on his hands, the pajamas he was wearing, the windows of his room—

He flinched as something cool was placed on his forehead. "It's about _time_ you woke up," a voice said.

Subaru opened his eyes groggily, rubbing them a few times before trying to sit up. His body protested that such an action was too much at the moment, however, so in the end he had to settle for turning his head. He wasn't surprised to see Hokuto standing beside his bed. She was wearing a zip-up jacket with patterned long sleeves paired with a short skirt and thigh-high socks. Her hair was tied up in two buns with ribbons. The overall look was very cute, which was completely at odds with the angry expression on her face. Subaru recognised it all too well. "Ah … good morning, Hokuto-chan."

"What do you mean, ‘morning'?" snipped Hokuto. "It's afternoon already! You've slept for nearly three days straight!"

Subaru reached up to head. There was a damp cloth on there, and was rapidly warming up. Obviously he was still recovering from the backlash. _Well, since I'm not the type to bounce sakanagi off onto innocent animals, I guess I'll just have to deal with it._ "Oh," he said weakly.

"'Oh'? Is that all you're going to say?!" Hokuto glared down at her twin with hands on hips. "You slept like the dead for nearly three days. You have a temperature of thirty-eight degrees. You dived into a long complicated ceremony _without_ resting beforehand even though I _told_ you to, _plus_ —"

"Ah, Hokuto-chan, can you please not yell too loudly?" begged Subaru.

"What were you THINKING!" Hokuto screeched. "One high-level exorcism and purification is already draining on you, but THREE AT ONCE? I didn't even know you could handle three at once! And long-distance at that! No wonder the _sakanagi_ knocked you backwards! I should just—"

Subaru winced, but kept his mouth shut. There was no point trying to explain to Hokuto when she was in this state. All there was for it was to wait until she had ranted herself out. He took the opportunity to check his personal wards, expecting them to need rebuilding after the battering they had taken from the _sakanagi_ he would have received from the spells he had performed. It didn't take long for him to piece his protections back together, shoring them up for the future; a practiced onmyouji was accustomed to a well-ordered mind, and the exercise immediately helped the headache. Still, however, he felt exhausted, even after such a long sleep, and that disturbed him. _I used to be able to do much worse than this as a Dragon of Heaven, why am I so weak now?_

"—you pushed yourself so far it's _beyond_ stupidity do you have any idea how worried I was and how much I just wanted to _slap_ you at times during the casting for being such a selfless _idiot_ and _aargh!_ " Hokuto finished her rant with an adorable exasperated pout. Having got all of that out of her system, she sighed and sat on the bed. "Don't do it again."

Subaru crawled out of the blankets and went to hug her. "I'm sorry," he murmured.

He felt her smile a little. "I know. Was it worth it?"

"Mm. I checked just as I concluded the ceremony; the exorcism and purification went fine. It should be all right now."

"Good." The doorbell rang just then. Hokuto got up, the damp cloth that had been on Subaru's forehead sticking to her shoulder. Subaru also made as if to get up, but stopped when his twin glared at him. "Subaru, if you don't stay quietly in bed you'll get worse!" Meekly Subaru sank bank into his pillows as Hokuto skipped off to answer the door. He already knew who it was anyway.

He heard the front door open, and murmuring. "Woo hoo! Tops Chocolate Cake!" squealed Hokuto, her voice carrying easily to his bedroom. Subaru smiled. More murmuring, then footsteps. Subaru waited. Just before the expected knock on his door, he called out, "Enter."

The door opened. Seishirou's concerned face looked inside. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

Subaru smiled and sat up a bit straighter. "I'm fine now, just a bit tired."

Seishirou came into the room, closing the door behind him. He was dressed in a black suit and tie with a white shirt. The colour – or lack or it, depending on how one looked at it – fit him, always had. "I'm glad to hear it. I was rather worried; the moment you concluded the ceremony you literally fainted on your feet." He approached the bed and looked down at the young man in it with one eyebrow raised. "Did you really have to push yourself like that, Subaru-kun?"

Subaru shrugged. "The situation was one of those where it had to be fixed all at once, not in stages. If I had left it things would have turned out badly in the end."

"So sure, are we?" Seishirou smiled. "How do you know that?"

"Just …" Subaru looked down at his gloved hands, hoping Seishirou would dismiss the posture as shyness. "Instinct, I suppose."

"Still, it was an impressive performance." Seishirou sat down in the chair Hokuto had been using, either ignoring or not noticing Subaru's startled look at his compliment. "There aren't many onmyouji who would dare to perform such complex ceremonies long-distance. And multiple ceremonies at that. But Subaru-kun," here the man leant forward a little, amber eyes seemingly anxious, "it was very reckless. I know you wanted to help those girls, but really, you were overdoing it again. Hokuto-chan was very frightened, she was afraid that you had pushed yourself too selflessly and too far."

 _Selflessly? Hardly, Seishirou-san. I just wanted to show you that I'm not the weak child you first toyed with._ "Really, there's no need to worry, I managed to handle it," Subaru said aloud.

Much to his irritation, Seishirou looked merely amused. "I'm not doubting your ability, Subaru-kun, I just wish to point out that even you have your limits. You may be perhaps the best onmyouji of this age, but you _are_ only sixteen years old. What you've been doing would lay an older and seasoned onmyouji flat for a week."

Subaru kept his tongue, resisting the impulse to say that he was _not_ sixteen, at least mentally. Since he remembered everything that was to come leading up to the Final Day the first time he had lived this life, then he also remembered all of his skills and knowledge of onmyoujitsu he had gained up until that time as well. A long-distance purification should have been well within his capabilities …

… and yet here he was lying in bed, exhausted and recovering from the sakanagi of his spells.

It didn't make sense. When he had been fighting the Dark Kamui, the Sakurazukamori, and the rest of the Dragons of Earth he hadn't suffered anything like what he was recovering from now, and for those battles he had been using spells with far more power with full intent of causing injury. As a Dragon of Heaven, Subaru had had more power and skill than any of his predecessors had—

Subaru stopped. As a Dragon of Heaven. An onmyouji of twenty-five years old. He wasn't that person yet.

"Subaru-kun?" Seishirou looked at him quizzically. "Is something wrong?"

Now that he really thought about it, the logic behind the paradox was blindingly obvious. Of course – as a Dragon of Heaven he had had years of experience built up to endure the Final Day, but in this time, he was reliving the past. He was, as Seishirou had said, only sixteen years old, a child in comparison, and his body couldn't handle the level of power he was using. Rather like doing strenuous exercise without a thorough warm-up beforehand, only with far more painful results.

But if having nine years experience in a body that was yet to earn that experience made the sakanagi more serious, then what of the effect from his magic? Even though onmyoujitsu spells relied heavily on the intent and will of the caster, would the fact that Subaru had been putting more power into his castings without realising since he was so used to high-powered castings for the Final Year be an adverse affect? After all, Asagaya, Hachiouji and Misato had been coughing blood after his mirror-spell …

A cold thread worked its way down Subaru's spine. He didn't hear the knock on his door or notice as Seishirou got up to answer it, staring instead at the bedspread in front of him without seeing it. If he couldn't control his spell-casting properly, then the ceremony he had done for those girls might not have gone as planned. Since the backlash from the mirror-spell had been much stronger than expected as a result of his having harmed the girls even without realising it, by that same token, judging by the backlash he was suffering from the ceremony, did that mean that he hurt them more badly this time?

The door opened to reveal Hokuto carrying a tray with three slices of cake on it. "Sei-chan, you have to scold Subaru too! Maybe if we both scold him he'll finally understand that he shouldn't work himself to death just because someone pays him to!"

Seishirou laughed. Subaru didn't move. "I need to call the Q2 line again," he said aloud.

Hokuto and Seishirou abruptly stopped their joking. They stared. " _What?_ " exclaimed Hokuto.

Subaru turned to them. "I have to, Hokuto-chan. I have to check that everything's all right."

"But you just said that you pulled off the ceremony without problem! Why do you have to follow it up?"

"I …" Subaru hesitated. "I just want to make sure."

Hokuto frowned. "You mean you're not confident with what you did?"

Subaru didn't answer. Seishirou looked at him curiously. "This is rather unusual for you, Subaru-kun. Why do you think that something might have gone wrong in your casting?"

Subaru looked away. "I can't say. Just … I won't feel at ease until I've made sure nothing's happened. I need to call the Q2 tonight."

"Oh, no you don't." Hokuto waved a finger at him. "You are _not_ doing any work tonight – you need rest!"

"No, Hokuto-chan. It's all right, really."

" _Later!_ "

Subaru shook his head, this time meeting his sister's glare. "This is my work, Hokuto-chan. People have asked me to do this, and even for my own self I should make sure that I have done it properly."

Hokuto threw her hands into the air. "Sei-chan, talk some sense into him!"

Seishirou gave Subaru a serious look. "Hokuto-chan has a point. Perhaps you should at least wait a little while and get stronger before trying anything."

"I'm fine," insisted Subaru. "I can handle it, don't worry."

Seishirou looked at him for another moment, then shrugged. "If you say so. I trust your work."

Subaru nodded, grateful that one party was convinced. Hokuto was still giving that glare, but seeing that her brother wasn't going to change his mind she sighed. "Fine. You're a professional, Subaru, and I respect that. Just … be careful."

Subaru smiled, wishing he felt more confident. "I will."

 

* * *

 

The physical set-up might have been the same as before, but mood in the living room was markedly different. Subaru, dressed in simple white work robes rather than full ceremonial costume, could sense Hokuto's worry and disapproval radiating from where she stood outside the perimeter he had marked out and feeding into his own doubts. Had his magic had unpredictable consequences as result of this rip in time? Was he just being paranoid? What did it mean, him still retaining his powers as a Dragon of Heaven? For that matter, if he still had his powers from the time of the Promised Day, could he still cast the kekkai of the Seals? Subaru didn't know, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to find out either. The kekkai of the Seals was an ability reserved for the Dragons of Heaven alone, the ones who had to fight to save humanity in 1999. If it turned out that yes, he could still call on that special power … did that mean the Final Year and the Promised Day were due to come again?

"Are you ready?" asked Seishirou, standing against the far wall with Hokuto. The city lights glinted off his glasses, making it impossible to see the eyes behind.

Subaru placed the cordless phone on the ground, trying to shake off the uncertainties that had been dominating his mind since that afternoon. It didn't really work. He couldn't help but wonder what the Sakurazukamori was thinking about all of this, and he doubted he'd find out. "Yeah."

No one responded. Closing his eyes for a moment as he centered himself, Subaru knelt on the floor in front of the phone and turned it on speaker. The inactivity ring buzzed through the room like a dying fly. Subaru took a deep breath. Then he pressed in the phone number for the Party Line.

It rang for exactly three seconds. Then it connected – to silence. "Uh, hello?" asked Subaru.

There was no answer. Subaru frowned, wishing he knew more about how the Party Line worked. For all he knew he could have just happened to call when nobody was on the line. "Is anyone there?"

Still no answer. Then, rising out of the silence, there was the sound of breathing. "Who is this?" a voice asked tentatively.

Subaru's hands tightened. He thought he recognised the voice as that of Misato, the youngest girl, but he couldn't be sure, she spoke so low. "I'm a friend," he said aloud.

"A friend?" A pause, as if the speaker was thinking. "Are you a companion?"

"No, I'm not. All I want is to know is if—"

"Are you a warrior?" the voice cut him off.

Subaru hesitated—

 

_"The Seven Seals. No, the Sumeragi clan taught it as the Dragons of Heaven. You are one of the Dragons who supposedly will save the earth from destruction."_

 

A life that had already happened ... right? "No," he replied.

"Are you a special person?"

Special. A special person. To be special to someone …

 

_"… he alone was special – but that was only my delusion. He said that he saw no difference between ‘people' and ‘things' …"_

 

… Subaru bit his lip. "No," he whispered.

He could almost hear a smile. A second voice began to speak. "Since you are not one of us—"

"—then you must be the enemy we are to fight," a third finished.

Subaru blinked. "What?" he asked stupidly.

"You're the one who called before, aren't you," accused the second voice, the voice which carried with it impressions of cold, cold eyes – _Asagaya!_ "You were the one who attacked us and sent us those bad dreams, isn't that right!"

Subaru tried to protest. "No, you're wrong, it wasn't me who—"

"And now you're dared to come to us again!" Asagaya's voice sounded triumphant. "You may have hurt us, you may have tracked us down, but we have been waiting for you!"

"Your attack three nights ago failed," the third speaker – Hachiouji – hissed, "but we have endured to become stronger!"

Subaru raised his voice trying to make himself heard. "No, you don't know what you're talking about, just _listen_ to me—"

"We have been waiting for you," repeated Asagaya. "And now we shall destroy you!"

The attack came quickly. Foul-smelling vapours ghosted out of the phone's earpiece as Asagaya and Hachiouji began to chant, growing denser like storm-clouds, an analogy not so far from truth as tiny yet potent lightning bolts began to strike out from their depths. In the split second before they struck Subaru flicked out a fan of four ofuda, sending them to attach to the hilts of the four daggers stabbed into the floor around him, activating a shield. The space he was enclosed in was still connected through the phone to the other spiritual spaces the girls were in, but at least the rest of the room, and more importantly, Hokuto and Seishirou, were out of harm's way now. He gritted his teeth as one of the lightning strikes danced down his back. "Stop this!" he yelled at the phone. "You have no idea what you're playing with—"

"Demon! We're chosen to stand against you!" Hachiouji's voice screeched down the phone. "We have special powers to combat your evil!"

More lightning strikes struck his body, and Subaru let out an involuntary cry of pain. "I'm not a demon! I just want to help you—"

He broke off as the guttural chanting from the other end of the phone changed. Around the phone winds began to circle, cold currents of air that spun faster and faster rising towards the ceiling until Subaru and the phone were at the center of a contained cyclone. He managed to glimpse Seishirou restraining Hokuto as she tried to approach, and he silently thanked the man. The billowing sleeves of his robes lifted like wings as the winds enclosed about him, screaming so that he could barely hear the spell that controlled it. When the wind touched him it sliced his skin – wind razors. It nicked his cheek, his shoulder, drawing blood that did not fall to the floor but rather spun with the wind like liquid red ribbons. Individually each wound wasn't serious, but too many of them … Subaru remembered one rare afternoon he had spent with the Seals in 1999 and Aoki Seiichiro the Wind-master describing just what damage he was capable of. Perhaps the only bright side to being under attack like this was that it showed that Subaru's exorcism and purification of the girls and their homes last time had not done the damage he had feared he had. He wondered about that incongruity, wondered what exactly it meant – another razor sliced deep into his upper arm and he couldn't help but cry out. To his surprise, someone answered.

"Stop it, you're hurting him!" Misato – up until now she had been markedly silent, Subaru realised  – sounded frightened. "I can hear him, he's just a kid like us!"

"What are you saying?" Disbelief coloured Hachiouji's voice. "He's the Enemy!"

But …" Misato faltered. Subaru felt blood streaming down his injured arm; biting his lip against the pain he lifted a hand in the two-finger focus, summoning a small personal shield not daring to do anything more while he wasn't sure what he was capable of with the paradox his powers were in. "Are we trying to kill him?"

"Of course." Asagaya's voice was cold. "He's the Enemy. We are the ones chosen to save the world."

"But killing—!"

"Are you on his side or ours?" demanded Asagaya.

Misato's voice began to rise in fear. "No, it's not that, it's just that—"

Subaru, listening to all this as he struggled to avoid injury, saw where it was going. "Leave her out of it!" he shouted to the phone. "Misato, hang up the phone and stay out of this—"

"If you're not with us you're against us." Asagaya's voice resonated with anger. "You've betrayed us."

"Traitor!" hissed Hachiouji.

Misato's voice was frantic. "No – that's not it!"

The wind intensified, if that were possible, knocking over the small altar Subaru had set up. The table toppled onto its side, spinning drunkenly about as it caught the wind like a wooden sail, while the lighter vases and mirror were lifted into the air. The white cloth that had covered the table flapped madly about as the wind razors tore at it. Subaru ducked one of the flying vases only to suffer a slash across the back of his hand. From the phone he could hear Misato screaming as she was subjected to the same attack he was under, only without his defences. "Leave her alone!" he shouted at the phone.

"Still not dead yet?" Asagaya answered him. "You really must be a demon. But I am chosen to fight against you!"

"You're wrong!" retorted Subaru. Anger was rising in him, anger at the sheer idiocy and stubbornness of the girl, and the fact that she had turned so quickly on one of her own. Somewhere on the other side, Misato cried in pain. Subaru took out more ofuda and cast it – the first was shredded by the wind, but the second survived. The white shikigami gave a keening call before disappearing into the phone. "Stop this!"

"We're chosen! We're special! We'll fight to save the world! We have special powers to combat you demons! Even if the world is destroyed we'll survive and then we'll save the remains on mankind!"

There was a yell from Hachiouji as Subaru's shikigami turned back into an ofuda and exploded, then swearing. Subaru risked a quick scrying; Hachiouji was kneeling on the floor hands over her eyes. Her glasses lay a little ways away, and her skin was burned. Subaru's eyes widened. _I didn't mean for the blast to be that big!_ He rolled to one side – the wind had lessened slightly after he had interrupted Hachiouji's casting, but was still lethal – trying to figure out just what was going on with his magic. _But there seems to be no ill-effects from the ceremony I did with the intent to save them, so why are my attack spells still too strong—_

The ceremony. Exorcism and purification. Attack and defense. Intent.

 _Intent_.

Subaru's exorcism had purged every single one of the spirits haunting the girls; before, some had remained. The purification had likewise succeeded beyond his original expectation, but because it was a wholly positive spell, had done no harm. His attack and offensive spell-castings on the other hand, were by nature, to _cause_ harm. Suddenly it all made sense. The effective intent, the positive or negative nature of the spells he cast, that had not changed. It was simply that because of his experience as an older onmyouji and a Dragon of Heaven, those spells were more powerful.

It was, both at once, a frightening and exhilarating realisation.

Another wind-razor nicked his skin, the sharp pain bringing him back to the situation at hand. Subaru swore under his breath. There was no sound from Misato's end, and he couldn't tell if the girl was simply scared into shock, unconscious, or heaven forbid, dead. He couldn't spare the attention to check on her, but, narrowly dodging as one of the vases nearly hit and almost slipping on the blood that had dripped onto the floor. He should attack, fight back, but if he did he might—

Subaru's eyes widened as he realized too late the wind had pushed the table to the corner of his barrier. Before he could react the wind spun the table around with enough force to knock the dagger there out of position, and with a keening howl the pent-up pressure within burst out. Immediately the living room was plunged into chaos. Out of the corner of his eye Subaru watched his sister dodge the loose objects in the room the wind was now flinging about. Seishirou was doing likewise with a deadly grace that Subaru knew all too well. Before he could go to their aid, however, one of the pot-plants struck the back of his sister's head—

" _Hokuto-chan!_ "

—Hokuto fell heavily. Abandoning his position Subaru ran over to her. He knelt down and cradled her close, frantically feeling for a pulse or injury.

"Is she all right?" Subaru looked up to see Seishirou crouching close beside him taking advantage of the shielding Subaru had put on himself. The vet's eyes widened when he saw the stains on his robes. "Subaru-kun, you're hurt."

"It's not bad," Subaru replied automatically. He breathed a sigh of relief; apart from the knock on the head that was probably going to hurt like hell when she woke up Hokuto was fine. He stroked her hair, exactly like his. His other hand curled into a fist. Even though the injury wasn't serious, that didn't change the fact that Hokuto, his twin whom he had already lost once before, had been hurt.

Things had gone too far.

Subaru had run out of patience.

The wind died down at last, whether dismissed by the girls controlling it or simply running out of strength, Subaru didn't know. Ignoring his wounds he draped Hokuto's arm over his shoulder and carried her to the sofa where he laid her down. A scrap of the white tablecloth had come to rest a little ways away, and Subaru picked it up, using it as a makeshift bandage for the deep cut on his arm before turning to the one person in the room who had escaped the battle so far unscathed.

"Seishirou-san."

The man looked worried. "Is Hokuto-chan all right?"

"She's unconscious." Subaru turned to the phone, still sitting in the middle of the battered room. "You know onmyoujitsu, don't you."

He wasn't looking at Seishirou, but he could hear the surprise in his voice. "Subaru-kun, why are you asking this now—"

"I know you have the Art, Seishirou-san," Subaru cut him off. "You protected me that night on Tokyo Tower. I remember." He began walking towards the phone. "Protect Hokuto-chan for me."

He could _feel_ the look the Sakurazukamori was giving him, tangible, like snow falling on his back. Now was not the time to worry about it, but. Reaching down Subaru picked up the phone with his good arm. "Are you still there?" he asked coldly.

"Enemy!" screamed the voice in reply. "You turned one of our companions against us and you seek to kill us! But we are special, we are the warriors who will save the world in 1999 and we will stand strong against you!"

"You have no idea what you're talking about," retorted Subaru. "I _saved_ you three nights ago, from the disturbance your own idiocy had conjured up _and_ I purified it all so that it would not come back!"

"You attacked us! We were saved because it is our destiny to survive and fight you! You are the Enemy!"

Subaru put down the phone and watched detachedly as the next attack, half a dozen ghostly faces mostly mouths filled with teeth, came out of the phone. "If I am your enemy, it is because you have made me so. I do not want to fight you."

"We are chosen to fight you!"

"Chosen by who?"

"Destiny!"

Subaru gave a short laugh. The toothed demons circled behind him and dived. Subaru lifted a hand and they crashed ineffectually onto his shield. "I seriously doubt that."

"We're special!" The voices of Asagaya and Hachiouji were harsh, deliriously so. "We were warriors in a previous life, and thus in this one as well! We are the Chosen Ones who will fight and save humanity on the Promised Day in 1999!"

Subaru's eyes flashed. "You? Fight on the Promised Day? Do you have even the faintest idea what you are saying?" Anger stabbed through his words, anger at the cavalier attitude to that which had caused so many people so much sorrow— "Do you think it's about glory? Do you think it's so easy? You have no idea what it's like! You don't know the pain, the despair—"

 

_—screaming, sounds of pure horror and desperation ripping from the boy who could do nothing as he watched the person he loved plunge the sword into the body of the girl he loved—_

_"You are at the bottom of your heart because something terrible happened"_

_—blood, so much blood_

_—pain—_

 

"—you have no idea how much people suffered! All of us – _all of us_ – would have given anything to live a normal life like yours!"

In answer, mist formed around the phone again. It quickly grew in size, taking shape; fanged snout, demonic eyes, legs. The inugami streamed away from the phone over Subaru's head, and howled with Asagaya's voice.

"Enemy!"

Subaru drew a sheaf of ofuda. He watched the inugami charge towards him, waiting, evaluating the threat and his response. "We'll defeat you!" screamed Asagaya. "We're special! We are the warriors who will save humanity from destruction!"

The inugami was almost upon him. Subaru cast the ofuda, and immediately the room was full of white birds. They swooped in on the inugami, beating at its head with their wings, pecking and clawing. The inugami snarled and tried to snap at the attackers, but they were too fast and too many. Subaru watched in satisfaction. He'd keep himself on the defensive as much as possible, to avoid attacking and doing too much damage. Given his magical strength now, it would be best to play safe.

The flock of shikigami harried the inugami ruthlessly. The spirit-dog twisted into weird shapes, reforming itself over and over again in an attempt to escape. Every time it began to go for Subaru the shikigami would intensify their attack in their master's defence. Maddened with pain the inugami thrashed wildly like a hooked fish and howled, a sound that was echoed from the phone as Asagaya felt her control of the spell slipping away—

" _No!_ "

—and with a baying cry of triumph the inugami broke free.

Subaru threw himself to the ground as the dog-spirit roared over him, still relentlessly followed by a flock of white birds. No longer bound by its master's command the inugami raged without direction smashing what little furniture that hadn't been moved out of the living room, but while the inugami no longer had a specific target, its purpose and nature were unchanged; that is, for destruction. It tried to find a target, any target. Its eyes landed on Subaru and it charged towards him again only to be rebuffed by shikigami which refused to let their master be hurt. Defied that way, the inugami retreated. It saw Seishirou standing by an unconscious Hokuto. Immediately the rogue spirit tried there.

Seishirou simply looked at it.

The inugami stopped. As Subaru watched, Seishirou seemed to smile a little, not the vet's smile he had been giving Subaru all this time, but something darker. The Sakurazukamori gestured slightly.

The inugami howled. In that moment Subaru's shikigami fell on it again, clawing at its eyes. The inugami bucked and tried to fight them off but was given no mercy. It did, however, have one option left. Before anyone could do anything, the inugami raged back towards the middle of the room.

Subaru's eyes widened in horror as the inugami dived back into the phone. His shikigami, commanded only to defend, did not follow. There was a scream.

" _Asagaya!_ "

Too late Subaru sent his shikigami after the inugami. Asagaya screamed again, desperate, her voice carrying high over a deep triumphant snarl. Hachiouji was also screaming, fear accenting her voice until it was almost unrecognisable, and Subaru hastily diverted some of his shikigami to her – being still connected to the Party Line, she was also at risk – still Asagaya screamed, begging someone to help her, for her mother, for mercy, in pain—

There was a wet snap from the phone.

Asagaya's screaming was abruptly cut off.

"What's going on! What's happening?" screeched Hachiouji. "Demon! _What have you done?_ "

Subaru couldn't answer. He stared, horrified, at the phone. Distantly he could sense his shikigami tearing what was left of the inugami apart, a futile exercise since it was already fading from existence – along with the life of its creator.

 

_"The more powerful the spell, the more dire the consequences should the spell not succeed."_

 

"Demon! What did you do? What's going on, what did you do to her?" There was a choke, then the sound of crying. "What did … demon–"

Subaru couldn't move. Somewhere faintly he heard Seishirou calling his name asking what had happened, if he was all right, but Subaru didn't hear it. All he could see was the last image from his shikigami as they turned back to unmarked paper: the body of a girl, a schoolgirl barely older than he in this time, lying in a pool of blood her chest ripped open and neck snapped. Her eyes, usually so cold, were wide and terrified.

"… you killed her… oh god, demon – help me, s-someone, mother …"

It was strange, some part of Subaru thought distantly, how shock worked, making it so that he felt everything as is through a glass wall. He knew that very soon he'd be frightened, guilty, angry, anguished and more, but for now any emotion seemed frozen. As the beginnings of a backlash headache began to beat in his head, all he could think was that somehow, somewhere along the way, something had gone terribly, terribly wrong.

 

* * *

 

"Subaru."

Someone called him from the edges of darkness. He didn't answer. There was a sigh, then a soft creak as his bedroom door opened further. Two sets of footsteps came towards him, one of them light the other deliberate and measured. Subaru didn't turn to greet them, instead remaining where he had been ever since he had gotten back that morning, sitting on the edge of the bed with gloved hands clasped in front of his chin staring through the dark room at the city lights beyond his window. He had long recovered from the backlash of so much spell-casting, but the body always healed quickly. The heart and mind however … his sister sighed. "It's seven o'clock, Subaru. Why don't we all go out and get something for dinner?"

Subaru's only response was the close his eyes. He felt the bed shift a little as Hokuto sat down beside him, and didn't resist as she pulled him into an embrace, careful not to jar his injured arm. "It's been three days," she said quietly. "You've hardly spoken, hardly smiled. When are you going to move on?"

Move on. To proceed. To go forward. In his mind he ran the words over, waiting for them to have some effect. They didn't, and he turned his head into her shirt like a small child, wanting nothing more but to hide. From somewhere nearby, Seishirou began to speak. "You've been contacting the homes of those girls, haven't you." Subaru mechanically nodded. The vet continued. "What did you find?"

The voice Seishirou was using, the softly insisting tone Subaru had heard him use on frightened animals to gain their trust, worked despite himself to get a response. The young onmyouji took a deep breath. "I … I contacted Misato's home first. She's in hospital being treated for multiple slash wounds. There will be heavy scarring, but she should recover. Hachiouji …" He hesitated, then swallowed. "Hachiouji is seeing a psychologist. Her parents say that she keeps crying and saying that she's seen ghosts and fought demons. If they are supportive and patient, her heart and mind may heal eventually, but it will take time."

"And the last?"

Subaru unconsciously clutched his sister's hand, fighting back tears. When he did speak, his voice was trembling. "I saw Asagaya's mother. I didn't dare to speak to her, but I saw her. She looks as if she is living in hell. Her daughter died horribly and no one can explain way. The teachers tell her that her daughter was strange, and she hears the whispers from the schoolgirls that her daughter was a witch, that she was playing with things she shouldn't have and has paid the consequences—" He choked a little, remembering the expression on the dead girl's face, the horror Hokuto had shown when she had learned what had happened at the end of the ordeal …

"Subaru." Hokuto held him closer. "It wasn't your fault."

"It is!" Abruptly he pulled away and met his sister's gaze, emerald eyes miserable. "If I hadn't chased the inugami back, if I had destroyed it at the onset, if I hadn't called up the Party Line again, if I had done something different—"

"You did what you had to do." Wildly Subaru turned to see Seishirou kneeling beside the bed. The vet's expression was sympathetic, but firm. "You would have had to call the Party Line again at some point. From what I could tell despite what you did for them the girls were still continuing with their activities. You would have received another job or request to stop them eventually. As for the inugami, either way, the girl would have suffered. If you had destroyed the inugami the backlash from the failed spell would have hurt the girl. If you hadn't destroyed the inugami it would find some other target, either the girl's compatriots or the girl herself. Your only other choice was to let the inugami fulfill its purpose – to kill you. Obviously that outcome was not an option."

"You don't understand!" Subaru suddenly stood up so that he was looking down at Hokuto and Seishirou, spreading his hands as he tried to explain. "No one was supposed to get hurt! I was meant to save them! _It wasn't supposed to end this way!_ "

Hokuto gazed at him, sadly compassionate. Seishirou … he couldn't read the man's face. Subaru clenched his fists, bowing his head with the weight of what he couldn't say.

_I knew that last time already no one was saved._

_I had the power to make decisions for the better._

_I should have known what to do to make it end right!_

Words and feelings Subaru could not voice … and he felt all the more alone for it. "It wasn't supposed to end this way," he whispered again.

He sensed Seishirou looking at him. "You say it wasn't supposed to end this way, but it has. You can't go back and change it, Subaru-kun."

Anger flared, just a little, making him raise his head and meet the other's gaze. "And if I could?" challenged Subaru.

The Sakurazukamori lifted an elegant eyebrow. "Do you think you should change things just because you're not happy with the outcome?"

Subaru stopped. He stared at Seishirou as Hokuto added her piece. "What we're trying to say is that there is nothing you can do to change what has happened. You have to accept that." Her brother didn't answer, and Hokuto slid off the bed going to his side, then, taking his chin in her hands, made him look at her. "You have to let go and move on with your life, Subaru. This incident was your work. Finish collecting data and forget the rest. If your next job fails because of this, then you're not a pro, are you."

Subaru turned away, back through the window and the multitude of lights beyond. "I can't forget," he whispered.

"No one's asking you to forget," replied Hokuto gently. "All we're asking is that you accept what has happened."

"A girl is dead because of me, Hokuto-chan. How can I accept that?"

He could sense his twin reaching out trying to offer comfort, and immediately Subaru recoiled. There was a flash of hurt in response … "Subaru," said Hokuto slowly, "are you scared of what we think of you because of what happened?"

Subaru flinched, the accuracy of his twin's understanding stinging like an open blow. Suddenly Hokuto hit him over the head. He yelped, rubbing at his injured scalp, then turned to glare in hurt indignation – only to stop short when he saw his twin's face. Hokuto was smiling, a smile that was more relief than anger. Her eyes were bright with tears. "You idiot," she whispered. Suddenly she grabbed him in a fierce embrace. "Did you really think that I would turn my back on you because of what happened? How can you be so _stupid_!"

Subaru was having a hard time trying to find words to speak. "I—"

"You're my family. You're my brother. You're my _twin_. No matter what happens or what you do, that won't change." Hokuto gripped his head in her slim hands and forced him to meet her eyes. "Don't _ever_ think that I'll think reject you. I will _always_ stand with you. Got that?"

Those emerald eyes were so intense. Could his ever be like that? Weakly, Subaru smiled. "Got it."

" _Good_." Hokuto let him go. "You made us very worried, you know! Isn't that right, Sei-chan?"

Subaru glanced at the vet. Seishirou stood watching them with an odd approving expression on his face. "I'm very glad to see Subaru-kun smiling again," he said.

"See?" Hokuto grinned, then firmly took Subaru's hand. "Now, you've been moping in the dark for days, I'm losing patience. We need to cheer you up! How about karaoke?"

Subaru spluttered as his twin dragged him to the door, Seishirou falling into step beside him. "Karaoke?!"

"Okay, maybe not. But dinner at least! I want something different, maybe Italian or something. How does that sound?"

Seishirou casually put a hand on Subaru's shoulder to guide him out. "Sounds good to me!" the man said.

"Then it's agreed on!" Hokuto let go of Subaru's hand and pirouetted to grin cheekily at him. "I'll go get your clothes, Subaru! We have to put you in something cheerful!"

"Er …" Hokuto gave him a Look. Subaru gave in. "Okay."

With a silvery laugh, Hokuto skipped off to head for her apartment where she presumedly had an outfit already prepared for him. Subaru watched her go in silence, an observer watching a butterfly dance. Somewhere within him there was still the guilt, the hurt staring at him like his reflection in a mirror, but at least now he could look at something else as well. Hokuto was wonderful for being able to make him put things into perspective. If he hadn't withdrawn into himself and let Hokuto support him after Seishirou had broken him that first time …

"She was very upset because of you," said Seishirou softly. Subaru glanced at him. Seishirou kept looking in front as Hokuto closed the door. "She was frightened, wondering what kind of effect the conclusion of that case would have on you. This is the first time ever since that night that she's laughed."

"Oh." Guiltily, Subaru turned away. Still Seishirou kept talking. His hand had not yet left Subaru's shoulder.

"It's about time that you came back to your senses, you know. I was already thinking that perhaps there was no more point to all of this. After all," here the hand on Subaru's shoulder tightened, just slightly. "We have unfinished business, don't we, Subaru-kun."

Subaru stiffened. The Sakurazukamori chuckled. Abruptly he let go of Subaru's shoulder and walked towards the door. "I'm going to see what outfit Hokuto-chan has picked out for you," the vet said as he opened the door. He halted just before exiting, hand on the handle, and winked at the young man. "Maybe she'll let me help choose something."

The door closed. The automatic lock clicked into place. Subaru stared at it without seeing. Like a noose around his neck, the implication of what had just passed closed in …

 

_"We have unfinished business, don't we, Subaru-kun."_

 

The Bet. It had been days since Subaru had really thought about it. In his comfort zone, his ideal life where he would have both of the people he loved so dearly, he had been growing complacent. Time was passing more quickly than Subaru felt comfortable with, and it was leading to an end that he already knew and feared. He had to change things, to see the game through to the conclusion it should have had. What he wished it should have had. The outcome turned on whether Subaru could make the Sakurazukamori _see_ him …

 

_"It was an impressive performance."_

 

… and he had succeeded, at least a little. Subaru was aware that Seishirou had been keeping a closer eye on him than was usual lately, and it was by no means an unpleasant feeling. He had caught the Sakurazukamori's interest – but he had not maintained it. Wrapped up in his guilt over Asagaya's death he had spent three days dwelling on things that he had no power to affect, three days nursing the despair over his failure to help those he had meant to save. He had withdrawn away from everything and everyone, and for a time almost forgotten the paramount reason behind this second chance. As a result, he had lost what little ground he had gained from the Sakurazukamori.

 

_"It's about time that you came back to your senses, you know. I was already thinking that perhaps there was no more point to all of this."_

 

Subaru was losing the Bet.

 

_"I will never let you kill Subaru. I swear I will not let that happen."_

_Two figures, one in white, one in black, beneath the shade of a beautiful sakura tree. Both equally loved …_

_"You can't defeat me."_

_"… I know."_

_… both there because of him—_

 

Subaru clenched his gloved hands, trying to squash the rising panic. _No_ , he told himself, _no, it's not finished yet. I cannot give up hope. Our ‘business' is not finished yet. I still have time. I still have a chance. Just as Seishirou-san had the advantage the first time by concealing his true nature from me, so I have the advantage now. My magic is equal to whatever Seishirou-san can throw at me. I know he is the Sakurazukamori. More importantly, by already knowing what is to come, I can plan ahead what to choose, what actions to take …_

_… but it won't always be for the better, will it._

Subaru bit his lip. Unbidden, the memory of Asagaya's broken body flickered in his mind, merciless and accusatory. His knowledge of what had happened the first time this time had passed hadn't helped her. In fact … by trying to change her fate, there was the very real chance that Subaru might have inadvertently precipitated her death.

 _I'm taking a different path to what I know passed before,_ Subaru thought uneasily, the guilt he had been harboring over the girl's death rising again like a tide. _I'm making decisions aspiring for the better, but with Asagaya … I completely failed. I thought by doing things different I would save her, but instead she paid the ultimate price for my mistakes._

_If I had let events move as they did before towards Hokuto-chan's death Asagaya would have lived—_

He broke off. Suddenly, the impasse before him became horribly, horribly clear.

_If I change the future, people will be hurt._

_If I live this life the same as before, Hokuto-chan will die._

 

_"Do you think you should change things just because you're not happy with the outcome?"_

 

When Hokuto and Seishirou returned to fetch Subaru, they ended up having to unlock the front door. Subaru, standing frozen in the hall with dread, hadn't heard a single knock or call.


	5. Crime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "There was a case about the abduction and murder of a little girl two years ago, do you remember it? She was my daughter."

Pushing the glass doors of the McDonalds open and stepping inside, Subaru was forced to pause for a moment. After the chill of the Chiyoda-ku streets the combined warmth of interior heating and people was an almost tangible blow. He unbuttoned his coat, standing on tiptoe as he tried to simultaneously avoid the customers carrying trays of food and search for a familiar face—

"Subaru~u!"

The high-pitched call made Subaru start. He looked around to see Hokuto half-standing in her seat to wave cheerily at him, blithely ignoring the startled faces of the other diners. "Over here~e!"

Subaru reddened. The booth his sister was in was situated as far from the entrance as possible, which meant there was a whole floor of people to hear her and give him questioning and irritated looks as he passed. "Do you have to yell, Hokuto-chan?" he asked in a pained voice once he was within a proper conversation distance. He was about to sit down when he realised his sister was not alone.

Hokuto giggled, completely unrepentant and unaware of her brother's hesitation. She was wearing a hat cut in the shape of bunny ears which bobbed with her movements. "But if I hadn't called you would have spent five minutes trying to find us!"

"I was thinking more that you shouldn't draw so much attention and disturb other people eating." Recovering, Subaru took off his hat and coat before slipping heavily into the space beside his twin and giving the third member of the lunch meeting a short look. "Sorry I'm late."

Sitting almost directly opposite, Seishirou gave a smile. "That's all right, Subaru-kun. I'm just glad you could make it. Did you sleep well last night?"

"No, he didn't." Hokuto nibbled a chicken nugget. "He's still preoccupied and touchy, same as what he's been for the past week."

Inwardly Subaru sighed. He and his sister had been bickering over the past few days, and this was looking to be more of it. "Just let it go, Hokuto-chan."

Before he could react Hokuto reached out and gripped his chin, forcing him to look at her. "You've got dark rings under your eyes," she noted critically. "That means you haven't been sleeping enough lately, and _that_ means you're overly worried about something. Have you been needlessly worrying over things you can't do anything about again?"

"I told you, it's nothing." Subaru pulled out of his sister's fingers and tried to divert the conversation. He ignored Hokuto's narrow-eyed look. "Don't you have work today, Seishirou-san?"

Seishirou took a sip of the drink he was holding. "My only appointments today are for later in the afternoon, so I took the chance to come out and spend time with you and Hokuto-chan." He flashed a smile. "Especially you, of course, Subaru-kun. But Hokuto-chan's correct – you look very tired. I hope you don't have a job after this?"

"No, I don't."

"Good! You can get some proper rest for once. Spending a night at home with Hokuto-chan's dinner – it'll be very relaxing!"

"Actually, I'm going out tonight," said Hokuto.

Seishirou frowned a little. "Where are you going?"

Hokuto gave Seishirou an impish grin. "I've got a date!"

"A date?" The vet broke into a wide smile. "That's wonderful! Do we know him?"

She winked. "No, you don't know him. If he passes the test tonight you'll meet him."

"Oh, so all your potential boyfriends have to pass a test, do they?" Seishirou chuckled. "What kind of test is it?"

Hokuto snitched some French fries from the tray. "Nothing too difficult. I simply judge on how good and intelligent a conversationalist he is, his sense of humor, his taste in clothes and where he chooses to take me for dinner …" She winked. "All the things that any self-respecting girl should keep an eye out for! After all, not everyone can be as lucky as Subaru and meet the perfect person just like that!"

"You mean I passed Subaru-kun's test?" asked Seishirou, raising an eyebrow at the boy.

Subaru flushed slightly. "I – I didn't do any kind of test!"

Hokuto nudged her sibling and grinned. "Subaru's too nice; he just accepts people for who and what they are." Suddenly she gave Seishirou sly look. " _I'm_ the one that tested you."

" _You_ tested me?" Seishirou made a face of mock-indignation. "That's hardly fair – I didn't even know I was being tested!"

Hokuto laughed. "That's part of the fun!"

Subaru didn't laugh. "I don't think it's fair," he said aloud.

"What's not fair?" asked Seishirou quizzically.

Subaru carefully looked at the table and made a show of taking his sister's drink. "I don't think that it's fair making someone undergo a test when they don't even know that they're being tested."

Silence from the other side of the table. Subaru didn't dare look up from sipping his drink to see what expression the Sakurazukamori was wearing. Luckily Hokuto poked him. "You do realise that me going out tonight means you have to do something about your own dinner, hm?"

"I guess I'll get take-out and just eat at home or something."

"But you'll be all alone! So very sad and lonely …" Hokuto made a sorrowful face that was too melodramatic to be serious. Alarms began to go off in Subaru's head. "And oh dear, I'm _sure_ that if you're left alone you'll end up not eating _anything_ at all …"

Too late, Subaru could see where this was going. "It's fine, I—"

"Then why don't we both have dinner at my place?" suggested Seishirou. "Hokuto-chan's cooking puts mine to shame but I'd be more than willing to do it for you, Subaru-kun."

"That's great!" said Hokuto happily, overriding her brother's "no, really, I'm ok!" and slamming a hand on the table. "If Subaru eats with you then I won't have to worry!"

"Hokuto-chan—"

"Then I'll see you tonight at eight! I'll make sure I cook something wonderful." Seishirou grinned and clenched his fist in a determined pose as if he were an actor in a cheesy romance film. "After all, I will do anything for my beloved Subaru-kun!"

Subaru buried his face in his gloved hands as Hokuto stood up in the booth and cheered. He was acutely aware of how the people around them looked up from eating to stare in their direction for a second time, whispering and looking more irritated than before. "Woohoo! Step by step Sei-chan will win Subaru's lo~ove!"

"Can you two _not_?" burst out Subaru suddenly. Startled, Seishirou and Hokuto blinked at him. "Did it ever occur to you to ask me?" he continued. "What if I didn't want to go to Seishirou-san's place for dinner and was quite happy to stay at home for once?"

Hokuto looked confused as she sat back down. "But I thought you like to have dinner with Sei-chan."

"Exactly. You assumed. At least you could have _asked_."

Silence for a moment. "Very well, then," said Seishirou at last. He raised one eyebrow as he looked at Subaru. "Would you like to have dinner with me at my apartment tonight, Subaru-kun?"

"No." Abruptly Subaru stood up and left the booth. He retrieved his hat and pushed it decisively on his head. "I'm going for a walk. Have a good time on your date, Hokuto-chan."

The expressions on Seishirou and Hokuto's faces were almost priceless. Subaru ignored them as he turned and walked away. He could feel people staring at him as he passed, probably wondering about the little drama that had unfolded in the far booth, and he could definitely feel two pairs of eyes, one amber gold and one emerald green, following him closely as he opened the door and exited the restaurant. What kind of thoughts were going on behind those eyes over his unexpected outburst he could only imagine.

A wind had arrived whilst he had been sitting inside, a small playful one that tugged at his hair and the hem of his clothes, but a cold wind all the same. For once Subaru was glad of the gloves he was forced to wear as he headed down the street in the direction he had happened to be facing when the door had shut behind him. He hadn't been lying about taking a walk, but really … now that he thought about it, walking out like that had been uncalled for, not to mention just plain rude. So why had he done it?

 _Because Seishirou-san and Hokuto-chan were playing their silly game again._ Subaru let out an exasperated breath and walked faster. _It's stupid. No matter what platitudes Seishirou-san comes up with I know it's just a pretence. I'm tired of playing -_ _but I don't have a choice, do I._

He passed a set of vending machines. One of them caught his eye, and Subaru halted. He pressed his fingers against the clear plastic as he stared at the packs of cigarettes inside. Up until recently he had thought that addiction was more a case of the body demanding something it had gotten used to having, but apparently not.

 _I'm worried and tense,_ thought Subaru as he got out his wallet. He inserted the requisite coins and pressed for his selection. _No wonder I'm itching for a smoke again._

A pack of Lites dropped down with a soft thud. Subaru retrieved it. He felt a little guilty as he put the pack in his coat pocket, but its weight was familiar and comforting and the guilt soon disappeared. Having bought the cigarettes already it was slightly easier to purchase the lighter from a nearby convenience store. The woman who served him did have a rather disapproving look on her face, though. Subaru pretended not to see, handing over his money and walking out with a polite thank-you, but it did irk him somewhat. If he had bought a cigarette lighter as the adult he actually was and not a sixteen-year-old boy, she wouldn't have given him a second glance.

It was getting frustrating, being treated like a child.

Across the street, the lanterns that lined the walls of Yasakuni-jinja were unlit. Subaru headed towards them, finding the gate and entering the shrine grounds quietly, trying to let the peace of the area flow into him as he listened to the wind move through the trees hinting of rain later. There was no one immediately around that Subaru could see or sense, the series of benches in the park's rest area empty save for dead leaves. Subaru sat down on one of them before opening the pack of cigarettes. He lit one with practiced grace and placed it to his lips. He coughed – his lungs weren't accustomed to such abuse yet – but he forced the smoke through anyway. It wouldn't take long to get used to smoking again. He'd have to make sure Hokuto didn't catch him though … Subaru closed his eyes, letting the smoke waft against his face like a familiar spirit offering comfort from the fears preying on his mind and the weight of knowing what was yet to come. It did not, however, offer any answers.

Subaru's confidence, never his strongest quality, had been deeply shaken by what had happened to Asagaya. It wasn't, however, for the reasons Hokuto and Seishirou thought. Believing that Subaru blamed himself for the girl's demise, they seemed surprised that despite their best efforts to support and coax smiles from him he never quite seemed to let go of what had happened. They never imagined his real reason, and he wasn't going to tell them. Seishirou was more patient with his reticence, Hokuto less so. Subaru bore her exasperation as best he could, for what else could he do? How could he tell her that it wasn't so much the girl's death and his part in it that was tormenting him, but rather what it could mean? How could he tell his sister that they were living in some perverse twist of fate and she was supposed to be dead?

Subaru bowed his head. Therein lay one of his troubles. Whatever this time-warp was, however it had happened, it isolated Subaru from those he could once have confided in. Between twins who all their lives had been completely open with each other, such restraint was acutely painful. More importantly, however, it left Subaru without a counselor. He had no choice but to rely on himself, but where there had once been certainty now there was only doubt and a constant questioning. He was increasingly edgy and tense, a mood which as his sister Hokuto inevitably was caught in. Subaru didn't remember having bickered much with his twin the first time they had lived this life, but they certainly did now. They always apologised afterwards, of course, but it made Subaru painfully aware of the distance currently lying between them. Then again, at least Hokuto cared enough to get angry. Seishirou simply put up with him. It irritated Subaru to no end. Whatever Subaru did Seishirou simply smiled with a forbearance that was almost inhuman – a better description than Subaru liked to think about. The Sakurazukamori's behaviour towards him was still no different to the first time the game had been played. It followed from that that the outcome would also be no different.

Subaru bit his lip. He _had_ to win this time, he couldn't let Hokuto die. But after what had happened with the Party Line … what cost had to be paid to make the Sakurazukamori feel?

Or, perhaps more worryingly, what did Subaru have to become?

Grey ash crumbled into glowing embers. Subaru hastily brought what was left of the cigarette to his lips again with trembling hands. He had never contemplated that things could actually end up worse than the first time around – and how could he selfishly value Hokuto's life over that of every other persons he could possibly affect?

Selfish or selfless. Change or continue. Both had their evils, differing only in who it was that would suffer. With that before him Subaru didn't know what to choose, and he almost feared doing so. It would be so much easier if he just didn't care …

Something interrupted his train of thought.

Distracted, Subaru sat up. The shadows had grown longer, he realised as he turned to look around. He saw nothing, but it felt as if his skin was crawling.

_What is this?_

Half-closing his eyes, Subaru listened with his other-sense. Immediately he picked up on an almost audible ripple of negative energy rising and falling like the cry of a strangled infant. Abandoning his cigarette-pack on the bench Subaru stood and headed towards it. He ran through the trees, along the main pathway and under the huge torii towards the wooden buildings of the shrine itself. It was growing dark as clouds began to gather over the sun, filling the grounds with half-shadows. Subaru halted, catching his breath as he looked from left to right for the source.

 _It feels like the birth-energy of a spirit, but …_ He started to run again. _But this shrine is empty of spiritual manifestations. Which means …_

Subaru entered the innermost courtyard.

_… someone has just cast a spell._

He stopped suddenly. At the far end of the yard a woman was standing by a small tree. She was young, probably late twenties at the most, but the way she hunched over made her look older. Unaware of Subaru's presence, she was staring at the ground. It was difficult to tell at this distance and in the shadowy light, but he could smell freshly tilled earth, and something … something else, something thick and metallic, like chain links on his tongue. Subaru choked a little as the coldness swept over him again, stronger than before. _This spirit …_

He must have made a sound of sort. The woman started in surprise and turned around, revealing her face at last—

Subaru's blood went cold. "You," he whispered.

The woman stared as if she didn't truly see him. "No one can interfere," she said softly. "Absolutely no one can interfere."

She began to run. Subaru watched her disappear around the corner like a ghost. He remembered her, oh yes, he remembered. Too quickly it all came back – the woman's daughter, the little girl Mai who had been abducted and her body found in the river a month later. How the criminal had been charged with murder but released on grounds of insanity; and the mother being overcome by grief and anger at being denied retribution. How she had taken it upon herself to take that revenge, even at the cost of her own life. How Subaru had given her the chance to see her daughter again, thinking that the girl's spirit would convince her not to condemn herself, and instead for the first time in his life deliberately telling a lie, even though he knew how badly the mother wanted to hear her daughter's words.

Subaru didn't want to go through it all again. It would be so easy to stand there, to let her flee and let the consequences of her actions play out without his interference. After all, he had his own problems to deal with and he didn't need hers, it was none of his business even if he knew what she was doing would inevitably result in pain and death …

If only it were so easy to stop caring.

Subaru gave chase. Being the faster and more agile of the two, he didn't take long to catch up. Stretching out just as the woman tried to dodge into the trees, he grabbed her arm. She twisted in his grip like a cat. "Let me go!" she yelled. "No one can interfere with me!"

Subaru flinched as she lashed out at his face. "Stop it, please! I know what you're trying to do, but I can't let you go through with it. You cannot summon an inugami for revenge."

The woman froze. "How do you know that?" she demanded.

"I'm an onmyouji," said Subaru. "I can sense it."

She stared at him. Subaru knew she was seeing a too-pretty sixteen-year-old, and squashed the frustration in his chest. "Are you trying to tell me that you're a medium?" she asked in disbelief

"Yes."

His quiet affirmation made the woman hesitate for a moment. A brief moment only – recovering, she gave a twisted smile. "Even if you are what you claim to be, it's none of your business. There's no way I can be held accountable for such a crime!"

"I oversee and ensure that such magic isn't abused by others! Summoning an inugami for revenge is forbidden, not only as an abuse of power but because it is dangerous, not only to the one you want to hurt but to you as well—"

"I don't care."

Subaru stopped. He released her and stared with a mixture of pity and dread. The woman made no move to escape, but rather simply stood there with a dead expression on her face. "I don't care. My happiness has come to an end ever since that day. Hell can't be any different to what I'm living now."

Subaru's resolution was faltering. He knew what was coming, knew what would happen. He didn't want to have to lie and hurt her again. He didn't want to hurt himself again.

Then again … this time there was something significantly different. This time, Subaru understood.

Nine years of loss. Nine years of hunting down a murderer who had taken all happiness away from him. Nine years of his own living hell.

Something must have shown in his eyes. The woman looked at him suspiciously. Slowly, Subaru lowered his hands in a gesture of peace.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

 

* * *

 

They sat on the shrine steps. It was exposed and the wind was cold, but neither Subaru nor the woman cared. The conversation was eerily familiar.

"Do you read the newspapers?" asked the woman.

"From time to time," replied Subaru neutrally. He knew the story, but the point of the conversation was not information. It was to listen.

"There was a case about the abduction and murder of a little girl two years ago, do you remember it?" Subaru said nothing. The woman's face betrayed no emotion. "She was my daughter."

And so the story was told again. Subaru listened impassively as the woman narrated her daughter's disappearance and the ordeal that had followed with frightening dispassion. He remembered how she had scared him the first time he had met her, how he had wondered that a person could hold so much hate and anger and yet be so cold. Now he looked her over with the pitying sort of fascination a person might show towards a beggar. Lank hair fell in clumps around a haggard face, speaking of someone who no longer cared about her appearance and the neatness of her dress was more a concession to society's expectations than personal pride. Lines of worry and despair creased her face, and her fingernails were bitten down to the flesh. More unsettling, however, were her eyes. They were dull, like the scales of a dead fish given life only by the light striking off them. The kind of eyes that had stared at Subaru every time he had looked into the mirror after Hokuto had been killed.

 _This,_ thought Subaru with no small measure of revulsion, _this was me._

"All the time that my child had been missing I was caught up every day in such horrifying dreams. I often had nightmares of her being stabbed, tied-up, abused … I usually woke up frightened in the middle of the night. But reality turned out to be even more cruel."

Such a horrifyingly dead voice. Was this what his grandmother had seen those few times he had visited her in the years after Hokuto's death? What the other Seals had seen? It was a disturbing thought. He had never considered or cared about such things before, in that time when he had been wrapped up in his pain and one wish, every night enduring those nightmares of Hokuto being killed by a man with a smile until he could recall the tiniest details: the way Hokuto's hair brushed her cheek at the moment of impact, the musical sound of the beads around her neck as she fell, how hard it was to see blood on Seishirou's black sleeve …

"I wanted to kill him more than anything else in the world."

He had wanted to kill Seishirou then, wanted to face the man who had murdered his sister and take the revenge he was due. That was what the Sakurazukamori expected. What everyone had expected. Certainly it seemed that was what he was working for, training himself and his magic to become strong enough to truly battle the Sakurazukamori. Yet by the time he had finally met Seishirou again, he had changed his mind.

When had that happened?

Beside him, the woman shifted on the steps. "I started visiting the library very frequently, searching in the old literature books for how to send a deadly curse. I searched for it every day. My only university studies beforehand were in English Literature, so I knew nothing about what I was looking for. But then I came across this curse – how to summon an inugami. It gave me all the procedures."

The inugami – reminded, Subaru hauled his attention back to the situation at hand. Her situation. Compared to his it was so simple, so straightforward, he could almost envy her. Unlike him, she was free to passionately hate her daughter's killer. Unlike him, her desire for vengeance was not tortured by guilt or conflict. Unlike him, she probably would have found her revenge.

That still wasn't any justification, but …

"My daughter had a pretty little dog. I decapitated it a week ago at midnight." A new light came into the woman's eyes, feverish and not quite sane. "Before, I would never have been capable of decapitating a dog, but I did it with absolute stoicism." She smiled self-mockingly. "I'm telling you all of this because no one will ever see me as guilty. The only thing that they'll think is what a weird woman I am."

Subaru had listened long enough. "Is that what you believe?" he asked quietly. "Do you believe that I am thinking 'what a weird and frightening woman this is' at the moment?"

The woman gave a short laugh. "Heh. Why – are you, another 'other person', going to tell me that you actually comprehend what I'm going through?"

Subaru carefully stared at the tiny stones on the temple steps between his shoes. Rain clouds had gathered in the darkening sky overhead. "You're wrong in thinking that others can never understand what it's like to have someone you love murdered. That it hurts so badly that your life is no longer worth living." His gloved fingers tightened. " _I know._ "

His companion jerked her head up to stare at him. Subaru could sense her wariness. "I have … had a twin sister," he said quietly. "Our parents died when we were very young, so we were everything to each other. My sister was the outgoing one, always energetic and lively and smiling. She took care of me; she could make a day brighter just by being there. We were so close, I didn't think there was any room for anyone else … but there was someone."

He paused. He had only told this story to one person, and Kamui's condition had required urgent action that overrode any personal hesitation. Still, in a way it was a relief to unburden himself like this. "This person was very special, to both myself and my sister. Especially to me, though it took me a very long time to realise it. And I thought this person also considered me very special." Subaru took a deep breath. "However, that was nothing but an illusion. This person felt nothing for me, and the time we were spending together was nothing more than a cruel and elaborate game. At the end of it I was supposed to die." There was a flicker of reaction from the woman – Subaru for his part felt nothing. It made sense; he had lived with the game so long he couldn't remember not being hunted. "But that didn't happen. He took my sister instead."

Silence from his companion. Subaru closed his eyes. "I … felt as if my world had ended, or if my world did still exist there was no more happiness left. I had lost my sister who was all my family and the other half of my soul, and that other person who I considered special betrayed me."

The woman's eyes narrowed. Other than that, she betrayed no emotion. "Did you ever find that person?" she asked.

Subaru shook his head. "No. That person disappeared. Neither was my sister's body ever found. But I knew she was dead. She was my twin, and so I felt and saw the moment of her death. The person who killed her was smiling. As if even killing my sister meant nothing.

"I'm like you. I know what it's like for someone to rip all your happiness away and leave you nothing but pain. I know what it's like to want revenge." He paused briefly, feeling an echo of that old ache of trying to reconcile that need to avenge with the one truth he held to: that it was wrong to kill. "But despite that … I cannot say that what you are trying to do is right."

The woman started angrily – Subaru hastily lifted a hand to ward off anything she was going to say. "Please, listen to me! If you kill this man who murdered your daughter, will it make you happy or bring your daughter back? Yes, I admit I wanted to kill that person, yes, I admit I wanted revenge for my sister. But even if I killed the person who killed my sister I would still be left with a life that wasn't worth living – and I would be a murderer with the blood of the one I loved on my hands. To become a murderer just like that person … I couldn't endure that." He hesitated a little, searching for more arguments like so many straws, hoping that they would reach her. "Furthermore … have you thought about what you will do to those around you if you go through with this? I'm sure you have people who will be hurt if you get hurt. Your husband – what about him? Won't he be upset if his wife becomes a murderer, or if after losing a daughter he loses his wife as well?"

The woman stared at him. "You, you …" Suddenly she stood up and glared, livid with outrage. "You little brat. You conceited little _brat_! Do you think that just because you've been through the same hell I'm living gives you the right to tell me not to kill him?"

Subaru flinched. "I—"

"So you know what I'm feeling. So you know what it's like having someone you love murdered. If you want to give up on revenge, go ahead, but don't you dare try to impose that decision onto me!"

"I wasn't trying to – I mean, all I wanted was—"

"You wanted? _You_ wanted? Is what you want what I want? You want to be a coward." The woman sneered. "Rationalise your decision all you like, but I see what you really mean. You can't kill this person because you're still in love. Love changes everything, that's what you're saying. _Do you know how pathetic that sounds?_ "

It was like a slap in the face, and just as sharp. Subaru physically recoiled from the viciousness of the verbal assault, wishing he could shut his ears as he burned in humiliation. "Just because you love this person, is that enough to let your sister's death go? Does your sister's murder mean _nothing_? You're weak, that's what you are! Love doesn't change anything – even if the murderer was someone special, even if it were my own husband, it would not mitigate my daughter's death!"

" _You think I don't know that?_ " Somewhere overhead there was a rumble of thunder. Subaru breathed quickly and spoke through clenched teeth. "You don't know what it's like. It's so easy for you – you don't know your daughter's murderer, you can hate him all you want, but I … no matter how hard I tried I couldn't erase him from my heart. It is weak, it is pathetic – I watched him kill my sister in front of my eyes and smile and I still can't bring myself to kill him!" Belatedly he realised his cheeks were damp – viciously he rubbed the tears away with gloved hands. "In fact I wanted him to kill me. An escapist decision, but I didn't care; death had to be easier to face than what I was living with—"

He broke off. The woman stared down at him. Something in her eyes made Subaru fall abruptly silent. Through the clouds the thunder sounded again. Subaru barely heard it.

"To think that you were trying to stop me from calling the inugami curse." Contempt seared the woman's voice. "You, who also can't see a future worth living, were telling me 'you can't do this, you will hurt those who love you'." Subaru tried to speak but the woman overrode him. "It's all right for you but not for me? Don't try to make me believe that in that short period of resolution when you wanted to kill your sister's murderer you cared about the opinions of others! Don't try to make me believe that you give a damn about how your death would hurt those who love you! You're nothing but a hypocrite!"

"That's not it!" Subaru tried desperately. "All I was trying to say was that your husband, even Mai would—"

"Mai?" The woman stared at him in shock. "How do you know my daughter's name?"

Too late, Subaru realized his slip. "I – I'm an onmyouji, remember?" he said lamely. "I'm sure with your research you've read about what onmyouji are capable of."

The woman didn't move. "You know my daughter's name. Have you seen her?"

"No—"

"You must have!" Suddenly she seized his arm. "You're an onmyouji. You know my daughter's name. You must have seen her! Let me see her!"

Still sitting on the steps, Subaru stared helplessly up at the woman. He knew what he would have to do if he summoned the girl's ghost. "I …"

"Please!" The woman kneeled down so that they were on eye-level. Subaru flinched as her gaze bored into his. "Please. Let me see my daughter! Let me see Mai! Please!"

She was so desperate, so hopeful, grabbing onto the one thing Subaru had accidentally offered with both hands. The one thing Subaru had wanted to avoid.

Given Subaru's nature, the decision was inevitable.

"If I let you see your daughter," said Subaru quietly, "will you agree to dismiss the inugami?"

The woman's eyes narrowed. "I don't know how."

"I can help you. I could exorcise it myself, but that would cause you harm. Only the caster can completely unravel the spell so that there are no repercussions. If you agree to this …" He hesitated. "I will call your daughter's ghost."

For a few moments the woman's face was drawn taut with indecision. The wind picked up – it wouldn't be long before rain arrived. Subaru shivered. He hoped that perhaps she would say no, that her desire for revenge would outweigh her desire to see her daughter.

The woman nodded. He'd known it was a futile hope.

Slowly Subaru stood up. Beyond the trees a bolt of lightning split the sky. Followed by the woman, he hurried back to the site of the summoning. With the toe of his shoe he gingerly scraped the loose layer of blood-soaked soil away, revealing the snout of a small dog. Surrounding it was a sickeningly malevolent presence. Subaru paid the psychic threat little attention and turned to the woman to begin the instruction. It didn't take long. Under his careful guidance the newborn spirit was purged, never to return, something that Subaru made sure of by setting a ward over the area. Once he was done, he found the woman gazing steadily at him, waiting.

Subaru walked past her towards the shrine's doors. The first drops of rain had started to fall.

_And again, I come back to this._

The woman followed him inside. Subaru shut the doors and knelt down in the corner. The same place as last time.

_Again, I am doing this._

The woman knelt opposite him. Apprehension and anticipation warred for supremacy on her face. Lifting his hands into prayer position, Subaru told her not to open her eyes until he spoke. She closed her eyes and gave a nervous nod. As Subaru watched her, his lips tightened. Then he began the spell.

_If no matter what I do, I am manipulated into repeating what has gone before …_

A ghostly form began to fade into view behind the woman's shoulder.

_… then what is the point of trying to change?_

The chant fell from his lips like dead leaves, barely audible over the rain. The ghost took on shape – pigtails, a dress, wide, weeping eyes. Chubby hands clutched at the woman's neck. A murdered little girl, like that time …

 

_—a wet, meaty sound as the body slid off the arm of the young man (that smile, so wonderful yet so cold!) to tumble brokenly onto the carpet of cherry blossoms beneath the tree – he jumped back, instinctively horrified, and stared at the dead little girl, the source of that red rain that had fallen from the branches above—_

 

"It hurts! It hurts, it's painful – Mama! Punish that bad man! Kill him!"

Did that little girl cry for her murderer's death as Mai did?

"What's going on?"

Did that little girl's mother want to kill her daughter's murderer as this one did?

Opposite him the woman shifted restlessly. "What's happening? I'm going to open my eyes!" Subaru made no move to stop the woman as she turned to look. The expression that swept over her face as she saw her daughter was one of pure joy.

"Mai …" she whispered.

The little girl's lips moved, but to her mother's ears no sound came out. The woman opened her arms, trying to embrace the ghost of her dead daughter – she touched nothing but air and began to cry as the ghost spoke to her, obviously distressed by her inability to hear anything her daughter said … "Mai! What is she trying to say to me? I can't hear her! What is she saying to me!"

He couldn't stand it – he had to turn away. Mai screamed for vengeance, screams that only he could hear, even above the storm outside. He could tell her mother the truth, that Mai wanted revenge as badly as she did, but what would the result of that be? Someone would die, someone would suffer. But if he lied, if he took the same approach as last time, then he would be taking yet another step down that same path. The one leading to Hokuto's death.

 

_"Do you think you should change things just because you're not happy with the outcome?"_

 

Subaru didn't know what scared him more, the possible future he already knew, or the one he didn't.

Then again, at least with one he could bear the guilt.

"Mai! Mai! Please, what is she trying to tell me? Mai!"

He blinked away tears as he turned to the mother and her dead daughter. The former was smiling. The latter still screamed in pain.

Subaru took a deep breath for his condemnation.

"'Mother …'"

 

* * *

 

The storm's fury had eased off until it was a steady downpour, without wind or lightning. Every now and then there was a roll of thunder, but it was distant enough to be easily dismissed. Still, the weather had chased everyone indoors, and the only signs of human life were the climate-controlled cars and lighted windows of heated apartments.

Subaru walked down the street as if drugged. The rain had completely soaked through his clothes and the extra weight seemed to drag him down. If a passing car had happened to catch him in its lights it would have shown that his skin was very white and cold. All in all he made a pitiful sight, a little puppy out in the weather, searching for a place to shelter.

Hokuto would still be out. Subaru didn't want to return home to an empty apartment – he had done that too many times. That left only one place to go.

Wearily, Subaru turned a familiar corner. A brightly lit window shone invitingly through the rain. Subaru headed towards it, entering the building then climbing slowly up the stairs. Water trailed his footsteps all the way to the door. He rang the doorbell. It chimed cheerfully through the darkened hall. Subaru stared listlessly at the strip of light emanating from beneath the door, his clothes dripping rain as he waited for an answer.

"I'm coming!"

Hurrying footsteps, then the click of a lock being undone. The strip of light expanded outwards, sliding over his shoes and up his body – as did the shadow of the tall silhouette that stood in the doorway.

A moment of silence. Subaru watched the little puddle around his feet grow bigger.

Finally—

"I didn't expect you to come," said Seishirou.

It was a while before Subaru could make himself speak. "I … I'm sorry about this afternoon. About what I said. I shouldn't have been so rude – I know you were only being—" The last word died on his tongue.

_Kind …_

"Subaru-kun?" A note of anxious concern played that voice, perfectly pitched, but Subaru knew that really … he bit his lip. Distantly he heard Seishirou ask what was wrong, that note of concern again – he swayed forward. Before the veterinarian could react Subaru leaned against him, resting his forehead against his chest. Rainwater ran from his hair and disappeared into the fabric of Seishirou's shirt.

"Can I come in?"

A spilt second of hesitation. "Of course."

Subaru shut his eyes. Seishirou slipped an arm around his shoulders and turned to guide him inside. The door closed firmly behind them.

"You're absolutely soaked," said Seishirou worriedly as Subaru removed his shoes and socks. He moved lethargically, not responding even when Seishirou unbuttoned his saturated coat and pulled it off. It was all too easy to stand there and not think … "How long were you walking about in the rain – wait, I'll get a towel." Taking the coat with him, the man hurried to the laundry room. Subaru stood where he had been left, water dripping away onto the floor. A moment later Seishirou returned with a large beige towel that he draped about the boy's shoulders like a shawl. "You're going to catch a chill. There's a set of pajamas in my room – go dry yourself and get changed. I'll make some tea. All right?"

Mechanically Subaru nodded. Seishirou smiled and gave him an almost paternal pat before moving away to the kitchenette. The clink of tea things followed Subaru as he unsteadily made his way to the bedroom and closed the door behind him. Switching on the lights, he had to pause and blink a little at the spartan openness that greeted him: a large bed, a few pot plants in the corner, a standing screen, an in-built wardrobe. Not unlike his own room, actually. Subaru's body seemed to recognise that similarity; he wanted nothing more than to lie down, curl up and go to sleep. Somehow he managed to summon the energy to strip off his sopping wet clothes, undoing the buckles with clumsy gloved fingers that seemed twice their normal size. He was shivering; barefoot as he was, the polished wooden floor seemed to suck the last of the warmth out of him. He could hear the rain lashing monotonously at the window.

A set of pajamas lay neatly folded on the bed. Subaru stared at them dully for a moment – had Seishirou been planning on wearing those to sleep? – before pulling them on. They were too big for him, of course; Subaru had to roll the pants up at least three inches or so. He was just doing the same to the sleeves when Seishirou knocked on the door.

"Subaru-kun? You done in there?"

Such thoughtful politeness. Subaru drew in a shaky breath. "Yes."

The door opened. Seishirou came in carrying two steaming mugs. "I tried calling Hokuto-chan but since I got the answering machine I left a message saying that you were staying here tonight. What with the state you're in, I don't think you're in any shape to be moving about anymore." Handing one of the mugs to Subaru he smiled. "Don't worry – if Hokuto-chan teases you about scandalous behaviour I'll tell her off."

"Thank you." Subaru cradled the mug between his gloved hands. It felt almost unbearably hot, not because it actually was so but rather because Subaru was still very cold. He shivered; as comfortable as the pajamas were they did little to actually warm him. Certainly they did nothing to help the quiet ache that seemed lodged in his chest. Unexpectedly something heavy enfolded him, and Subaru looked up, startled. Smiling, Seishirou pulled the blanket he had taken from his bed more tightly about the boy, wrapping it around him like a cocoon.

"That better?"

"... Mm." Subaru looked away from the man's gaze. What with the blanket, the too-big pajamas, the tea, all given to him so freely, on top of his depression, he was feeling as small and fragile as a child. How pathetic.

Seishirou put a hand on his shoulder. "Come." He gently pushed Subaru over to sit down the bed. Seishirou remained standing. "That's better. Now," he continued, picking up his mug from where he had put it on the floor, "what's wrong?"

Subaru didn't respond. He brought the mug of tea close, letting the fragrant steam waft against his face and wishing it could carry him away. Seishirou's expression seemed to soften. "What happened, Subaru-kun?"

He sounded so worried, so genuinely concerned. The Sakurazukamori had perfected the art of picking sentiment for the occasion as he would pick clothes. It would have been a flawless performance if Subaru hadn't known better. He always went along with the charade, pretending as was expected of a naïve sixteen-year old, though he never accepted it in his heart. But even lies had the power to comfort … and at this moment, comfort was the one thing that Subaru needed.

For now, just this one time, he was willing to take what he could get.

"Subaru-kun?"

Subaru's fingers tightened on the mug. "Seishirou-san," he asked quietly, "am I a weak person?"

If his question surprised the veterinarian, it didn't show. "Why would you ask that?"

"After I left you and Hokuto-chan, I went to a nearby shrine." Subaru spoke slowly; it was hard to keep his mind on the words and remember details that could and could not be said when all he wanted was to close his eyes and shut himself away from the world in sleep. "There was a woman there. She had buried a dead dog in the shrine's grounds to raise an inugami. I confronted her, tried to stop her … she told me why she was doing it. She wanted to kill a man who had murdered her daughter. I knew – I mean, I could see how she felt, that she wanted revenge more than anything else in the world, but still I tried to talk to her and change her mind …" He swallowed numbly, trying to shut out the accusations the woman had shouted at him that still echoed in his mind like a possessing spirit. "In the end I summoned the ghost of her dead daughter, on the condition that she cancelled the inugami spell. She wanted to see her daughter so badly … but the little girl was in so much pain, she _wanted_ her mother to kill the man who had killed her, was imploring her to do so …" Memories of Mai screaming in agony – unconsciously Subaru pulled the blanket closer. "The mother couldn't hear her, of course, but she could see her daughter crying. She begged me to tell her what her daughter was trying to say to her."

"What did you do?" asked Seishirou.

Subaru bit his lip. "I lied to her."

Silence from Seishirou. The rain outside seemed uncomfortably loud. As if the admission had removed a keystone to his support Subaru could feel what was left of his resistance crumbling like a rotten bridge. The hand holding the mug began to tremble. "The worst of it … the worst of it wasn't even the lie, or that the daughter wanted her mother to kill her murderer, it was that I _knew_ , I _knew_ the hurt I was going to cause telling her what I wanted her to hear – and I still did it! I was too scared to tell her the truth because I didn't know what would happen if I did—" He choked, fingers knotting in the blanket. He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. "When I was trying to convince the woman not to kill her daughter's murderer, she … she became angry. She shouted at me. She told me that I was weak, a pathetic coward. That even if that man were someone special, even it was her own husband who killed her daughter she couldn't let her daughter's murder go unpunished." Subaru hunched in on himself – the accusations the woman had hurled at him had been bad enough by themselves, but they had been compounded by the fact that they were nothing he hadn't applied to himself before. Torn trying to reconcile the need to answer Hokuto's murder with the knowledge that he couldn't become a person capable of killing anyone, least of all someone he cared for so deeply … "I understood what she was saying to me. Victims go through so much pain, how could they not want retribution against the person who caused it? But to answer murder with murder … I can't see how a person could do that. I couldn't do that." He looked up to Seishirou then, eyes desperate for some sort of counsel. "Do you think that's weak of me?"

Seishirou didn't immediately answer. With a thoughtful expression he put his empty mug down and moved to sit beside Subaru on the bed. "Do you believe that it is wrong to kill people?" asked the vet.

"Yes."

Seishirou smiled. "Then everything is all right."

He blinked. "Wh-what?"

Seishirou shifted to face him more properly. "Whatever you may think now about what you did today, you did it to protect that lady from herself. Your intentions were good, and you acted accordingly. No matter what she said to you, no matter what anyone else thinks of you, you did what _you_ thought was right." Seishirou bent down a little to look directly into Subaru's face. "Did anything that woman say to you make you think, even for one moment, 'I should let this woman kill that man?'"

"No …"

A hand came around Subaru's back to rest on his right shoulder. The other took away his mug and put it on the floor. "Then please," said Seishirou as he gently pushed Subaru down to rest his head on Seishirou's lap, "stop hurting yourself."

Subaru couldn't move. He held himself stiffly, suddenly very wide awake, Seishirou's shirt touching his hair and the left side of his face pressed against the man's leg. As if sensing this, the hand that Seishirou had laid on his shoulder began to move, stroking him through the blanket as if Subaru were one of the frightened dogs brought into the clinic.

Seishirou's voice softened. "Subaru-kun, I think you did the best you could when you lied to her. Don't think in terms of 'right' or 'wrong' – some things can't be seen that way." Still his hand moved over the curve of Subaru's shoulder. "The important thing is that you do and choose what _you_ want, what _you_ believe in – and once having chosen, have the strength to see it through all the way to the end."

Subaru tried to twist around to look up. "But Seishirou-san—"

The hand moved to cover his eyes. Gently he was pushed back down to lie on Seishirou's lap. "If you do what you believe deep in your heart is the right thing to do, then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks."

It was soothing, this touching. Subaru could feel himself relax, sinking into the words and the warmth around him like a seashell into a black ocean. Seishirou's hand shifted up to trail through his hair, a comforting rhythm, and Subaru's tired eyes began to shut. Absently he touched the seam running along the length of Seishirou's trousers with gloved fingers, cloth against cloth as Seishirou's hand moved to glide beneath the pajama collar to his throat—

Subaru stiffened.

Suddenly the hand was removed. Carefully but insistently, Seishirou moved to get up. Subaru blinked a little, disorientated as with the removal of his human pillow he was forced to sit up, but before he could say anything Seishirou kindly guided him to lie down properly on the bed and drew the sheets over him. "You've had a hard day. Go to sleep – I'll stay by your side. If someone comes and calls you weak or a liar, I'll chase them away."

Subaru could hold himself up no longer. He was falling into sleep, and he let it happen. Suddenly, however, a realisation struck him. He sat up, calling out just as the lights were turned off.

"Seishirou-san?"

A pause. The tall silhouette framed in the rectangle of blue shadow turned to look over his shoulder, one hand resting on the doorframe. "Yes?"

Subaru hesitated. The words he wanted to say stuck in his throat. He looked away. "Thank you."

He sensed a smile. "Goodnight, Subaru-kun."

The door slid shut. Subaru stared at it for a moment, then slowly lay back down. Pulling the sheets up to his chin, he listened to the rain outside feeling very small in the unfamiliar room, the unfamiliar bed and clothes … he curled up into a tight ball, trying not to think, that to his question of whether Seishirou, the person whose opinion mattered the most, thought he was weak, Subaru hadn't been given an answer.

Then again, Subaru wasn't sure if he wanted to hear it.

Rain drummed forebodingly on the window. Squeezing his eyes shut, Subaru let himself be lost to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Seishirou shut the door and made sure it was properly closed. He moved quietly despite being weighed down by a towel, two mugs, and a set of wet clothes. Balancing all of these in one hand and over one arm, he stood in the darkened hall outside the closed bedroom door like a poised bird of prey, listening to the soft sounds of movement inside as his guest presumably made himself comfortable for sleep. After what had happened today, rest was what a heart like Subaru's needed most.

The sounds stopped. All that could be heard was the rain. Pushing away from the door, Seishirou caught sight of the mirror on the adjacent wall. It reflected his contemplative expression back at him.

Seishirou stared coolly at himself for a moment. Then he walked away.

The apartment was dark. Strange shadows slid over the walls from the rain-slicked windows. Seishirou walked easily despite the lack of light, going first to the kitchen to leave the mugs on the rack, then to the laundry room where the towel was negligently draped over the sink and Subaru's clothes went into the washing-machine. Once that was done and the machine was whirring, he turned to the damp coat hanging behind the door. Without hesitation he reached into the right-hand pocket, searching for that weight he had first noticed when he had taken the coat from Subaru's shoulders.

The washing-machine gathered speed as the Sakurazukamori pulled out Subaru's cigarette lighter.

Thoughtfully, like a jeweler inspecting a gem, Seishirou turned the lighter over in his hands. It was nothing special, just one of those cheap things available at any corner-store or petrol station. The container was almost full. On impulse Seishirou struck it alight. Immediately the sharp smell of gas filled the laundry room. Blue-yellow fire caught in his glasses and gleamed eerily off the narrowed amber-gold eyes beyond. Those eyes were strangely intense.

With an expert flick, Seishirou killed the flame and stared into the darkness.

"Most curious," he murmured.

The Sakurazukamori fingered the cigarette lighter meditatively a little longer. Then he shrugged, put it back in Subaru's coat pocket, and quietly exited the room. The hunter's gaze did not leave his face.


	6. Annex I - The Bubbly Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What is wrong with Subaru nowadays? I swear sometimes I hardly recognise him."

Hokuto and Seishirou stared as Subaru abruptly stood up. "I'm going for a walk," Subaru said shortly, squashing the hat over his eyes. "Have a good time on your date, Hokuto-chan."

Before either of them could say anything Subaru had stormed out of the booth. Speechless, Hokuto watched her brother as he weaved through the other customers to the door, finally exiting the McDonalds completely. Only when the glass doors swung shut did she manage to pick her jaw up from the metaphorical floor. "Well," she said at last to her remaining lunch companion, " _that_ was certainly—"

"Unexpected?" suggested Seishirou.

"I was going to say 'rude', but that works too." Jaw set, Hokuto grabbed the drink Subaru had left and put the straw in her mouth. Much to her irritation there was hardly any cola left save for a little down the bottom that was more ice-melt than anything else, and she pushed it away with a scowl. "What is _wrong_ with Subaru nowadays?" she said in an exasperated voice. "I swear sometimes I hardly recognise him."

Seishirou lifted a questioning eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Just, just – I don't know. A lot of things." Hokuto paused, trying to put her feelings into words. "He's become somewhat withdrawn, and harder to talk to, as if there's something that's preoccupying him. And he doesn't smile as much. I've left him alone about it because I trust him to tell me eventually, but I've been waiting for the last few weeks. I'm getting very short on patience, I'll tell you that."

"Is it something to do with me?"

Hokuto stopped. She looked at the man sitting across the table from her. Seishirou's expression was inquiring, concerned, but a metallic scent and something about those eyes behind the glasses … without knowing why Hokuto shivered, and more inexplicably, a little twinge of apprehension slid down her spine. It had happened a number of times lately over the past several weeks, and almost always whenever she around Seishirou. She didn't know the reason for it. "I don't know. I don't think so, since whenever I mention you he just replies and – wait, that's another thing!" Hokuto's eyes widened another piece of the maddening puzzle turned the right way up. "Whenever I mention you, he doesn't act all cute and flustered! Not to say that it doesn't happen, but sometimes, if he's fallen into one of those silent, staring-into-space moods he seems to get into lately, and I try to break it by teasing him about you, he just replies absent-mindedly whereas before it was guaranteed that dropping your name would at the very least make him blush!"

Seishirou frowned. "Do you think something's happened to him?" he asked, amber gaze concerned. "You know how Subaru-kun is; he's so quick to blame himself for things that aren't his fault. That case with the prank call girls, how one of them was killed, maybe that?"

"Maybe. But it's been going on for quite a long time now, and for some reason I don't think it's simply because of that case anymore, there's something else. I just can't for the life of me imagine what." Hokuto sighed, suddenly feeling tired. There were other things as well, things that she didn't feel right about voicing, not the least being the fact that she and Subaru had started to quarrel. That matter was purely between her and her brother; one did not air family laundry out in public, even if the public here was a close friend. "I'm just hoping that he'll tell me soon, because it's driving me crazy."

There was a short pause as the two of them mulled over the subject of discussion. Around them the various conversations mixed together into an incomprehensible stew punctuated at intervals by laughter or exclamation. "Should I talk to him?" asked Seishirou at last.

Hokuto hesitated. It probably would be a good idea for Seishirou to speak to Subaru; after all, despite the protests and embarrassment whenever Hokuto teased him about their relationship it couldn't be denied that Subaru placed a great deal of stock in what Seishirou had to say. Actually, it was a very good idea. Then why was she hesitating?

Something … something she should remember slipping out of reach …

"Hokuto-chan?"

Hokuto shook her head. It was gone. Either that or she had never had it in the first place, whatever 'it' was. "Not yet," she said firmly. She pushed the cuff of her fuzzy jacket up to check her watch – time was getting on and she did have to go home and to change. "I'll give my brother a little bit more time to open up. If he still doesn't, feel free to talk to him all you want. Or do anything else." She winked mischievously as she stood up, more to relieve the tone of the conversation than anything else; it had been getting quite sombre and that was not something she liked to be as a rule. "Anyway, I should go home – I need get changed for my date."

Seishirou stood up to go as well. "Oh, you don't need to change; you look wonderful as it is!"

"Don't be silly! When you're going out at night what you wear is a totally different story to what you'd wear during the day! You men don't know anything!"

The veterinarian pretended to look hurt. "Shall I give you a lift?" he asked.

Hokuto shook her head. "No need; it's not difficult to get home from here, and you've got work to be getting back to. Sometimes I wonder, Sei-chan, how you manage to keep your practice going, you seem to take so many breaks and holidays!"

"Oh, didn't I tell you?" replied Seishirou, pulling on his coat. "I work a second job to supplement my income."

Hokuto's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "And what, may I ask, is this second job?"

"Here at McDonalds," Seishirou said with a perfectly straight face.

" _Sei_ -chan!"

"No, really! I work the night shift!"

Hokuto rolled her eyes. "Sometimes you can be so ridiculous."

"Oh, I know." Seishirou leaned down to look into her face and grin. "But I saw you smiling."

"That's because you, Sakurazuka Seishirou-san, are such a clown." She mimed an affectionate hit at his chest, in response to which Seishirou pretended to stumble, causing Hokuto to giggle and the patrons of the restaurant to give them yet another series of looks ranging from the curious to the exasperated, none of which either Hokuto or Seishirou paid any attention to as they passed by. Together, the two of them left.

"You know, there's another possible reason for Subaru-kun's behaviour lately," said Seishirou as they exited the glass doors and headed towards his van. Over the city skyline grey clouds were gathering, low and heavy. There would be rain before the day ended, Hokuto observed, she would have to take that into account when dressing for tonight "It could just be that Subaru-kun is growing up."

Hokuto paused, balancing on one foot perched on the curb of the car park, arms slightly spread for balance like a butterfly about to take flight. "It's likely," she admitted. Suddenly the wind picked up, blowing right through her stockings, and she flinched, setting her other foot down and beginning to walk again a little faster. "But we're twins, what could possibly happen that would change Subaru and not me?"

"Even though you're twins, Hokuto-chan, you are still two separate people," said Seishirou, following behind. "Just by living each day, going about your different schedules and activities you grow away from each other. It's not just lately; from the beginning the two of you have had such different personalities—"

"I know that, Sei-chan," said Hokuto perhaps a little sharply. They came to the van and stopped. Hokuto turned around. "What I mean is how can Subaru change so much that he becomes someone I can't recognise?"

"That," said Seishirou gently, "is something only Subaru-kun can answer."

Hokuto sighed. "So in other words it comes back down to me being patient and waiting for him to say something. Well, fine. But he had better say something soon, because I'm getting very tired of being patient."

Seishirou smiled encouragingly and reached into his pocket for his keys. The beep of the central locking being undone echoed forlornly in the cold air. "I'm sure he'll come around," he said as he opened the van's door. "It is Subaru-kun after all."

"Yeah." Hokuto smiled back. "Thanks, Sei-chan."

"My pleasure." Seishirou got into the van. "Have a good time on your date, Hokuto-chan."

Hokuto waved as the engine started up. She kept waving as the van reversed out of the parking bay then pulled away from her. Once it had, she stopped waving. Her smile disappeared. As good as it had been to be able to talk to Seishirou, nothing useful had come out of it, no answers, no flashes of insight, nothing. Just the suggestion that she should be patient. Of course, she shouldn't have expected anything. After all, how could a lone wolf like Seishirou possibly understand how painful it was for her to watch the soul to whom she was inexplicably linked move farther and farther away?

It was cold. Hokuto shivered, quickly heading for the train station and buying her ticket. Now was not the time to dwell on such things. Instead, she would put the matter out of her mind, at least for tonight, and face it later. Until then, she would take Seishirou's advice and wait until her brother was ready to speak. Hokuto only hoped for both their sakes it would be soon.

The ticket gate swung open. Hokuto went through and headed for her platform with a determined step. Somewhere in Tokyo, it was beginning to rain.


	7. Save A

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Of all people's hearts I know yours the best, but now I can't understand it! It's still Subaru, and yet sometimes I think it's not – I can't recognise my twin brother anymore!"

"You should be sleeping."

Subaru looked up with bleary eyes. He was sitting on one of the stools at the kitchenette counter and the light being reflected off the polished surface in front of him was a little blinding. "It's past noon, Nee-chan."

At the far side of the kitchenette Hokuto was making tea to go with the sandwiches that were prepared for lunch. Her back was towards him; Subaru watched the tail ends of the large bow around her waist sway as she moved. "It's not a crime to sleep in, Subaru, you should try it once in a while," she said without turning around. The deliberate casualness of her voice put Subaru on guard. "I know you were working late last night. What time did you get to bed?"

"Ah, around ten?"

There was a clatter of porcelain as Hokuto spun to stare at him. "Ten in the _morning?_ "

"It's not that bad," said Subaru defensively.

"Not that bad? You work the whole day yesterday and the whole of last night only getting home to sleep at ten a.m. and you say it's _not that bad_?"

"I can't sleep late, Hokuto-chan. There's too much for me to do."

"And just how well do you think you'll get things done if you're running on two hours rest?" demanded Hokuto, coming over with the tray.

"Two hours and twenty minutes," corrected Subaru.

" _Don't play smart!_ " Subaru jumped as Hokuto banged the tray onto the counter in front of him. He glanced up, startled, only to be taken aback at the glare that met his gaze. It was the first time he had seen his sister so angry with him. Involuntarily, he flinched.

Hokuto saw his reaction. Perhaps surprised by her own vehemence she took a deep breath and turned away again. "There was a phone call for you," she said in a calmer voice, going to get a cloth. "You're expected to call back."

Subaru picked up the tea and refrained from asking why she didn't wake him. "Who was it?"

"Your school teacher. He wants to know why you haven't shown your face in class for the past several weeks." Hokuto began wiping the dishes in the drying rack. "He said that if you've dropped out of school he understands, but it would be nice if you could inform him so he knows what is going on."

It took a moment for Subaru to process that. "School teacher?"

"Yes, Nakayama-sensei. Or have you forgotten who he is."

Subaru's mind raced. With his work and everything else that had been happening it had been easy to put thoughts of school aside and eventually, out of his mind entirely. Now with Hokuto's reminder he tried to think back, to remember his school, his classmates, his teacher … he couldn't. It wasn't like he had spent much time at school in the first place, and now with nine years between him and his last actual class what small connection he had was too long gone to be even missed. In any case, he had more important things than homework to worry about now, not that he could tell Hokuto that. "Actually, I'm not going to school anymore," he said.

He heard a _chink_ as if something metal had struck the bench. "What?"

Subaru shrugged and sipped the tea, trying to ignore the stare he could feel like a blast of air on his skin. "School is only compulsory up to junior high, right? I've passed that level, so stopping school shouldn't be a problem."

"Yes, but still, _quitting_?" Dishes forgotten, Hokuto walked around the counter to Subaru's side to look at him in disbelief. "I thought you wanted to do veterinary science at university and become a zoo-keeper."

"I've given up on that."

A shocked silence followed this statement. "Given up?" repeated Hokuto, very slowly. "Given _up?_ But, but that was your dream! Why have you given up?"

"It's unrealistic, Hokuto-chan. With my work it will be impossible to do the studies to graduate from high school, let alone university. And it's not as if there aren't enough zoo-keepers out there in the world already – how many onmyouji are there in comparison, let alone onmyouji close to my level? There's no way I'd be able to step aside and let someone else take over the job." Subaru glanced at his sister who was still staring at him in absolute shock. "Really, Hokuto-chan, it's all right, I know what I'm doing."

Hokuto's eyes narrowed. "What aren't you telling me?"

For once Subaru wished that his sister wasn't so perceptive. "I told you everything."

"No, you haven't. All our lives you've said that 'no matter what, no matter how many years it takes, I will achieve my dreams', so don't say that the reason you've given up is because you've suddenly realised how difficult it's going to be. What are you hiding?"

"Nothing."

The moment the word left his mouth, he knew it shouldn't have. Hokuto seemed to freeze, the muscles of her neck tightening to the point that she was almost trembling with the effort of holding herself in check. "I don't believe you," she said flatly.

"Hokuto-chan—"

"I don't _believe_ you!" Hokuto shouted, her voice penetrating the air like a lash. "You're hiding something, there's something you're not telling me, I know it! I've known it for weeks, but I kept quiet because I trusted that eventually my twin brother would come and tell me what's wrong, but what are you doing? Skipping class and dropping out of school?"

In vain Subaru tried to placate his sister. "Hokuto-chan, please! I know what I'm doing, I've thought it through and I think it's for the best. Besides," he added a little defensively, "aren't you the one always telling me that I can't do school and work at the same time?"

"This isn't about school! It's about _you_ , you giving up something you always wanted and hiding things from me! I'm not against your decision, but I never expected you to choose it, let alone be so offhand about it, and I never, _ever_ expected you to tell me that there's nothing that I should know!"

"You can't expect me to tell you everything," Subaru retorted, angered by his sister's tirade.

"But at least you can tell me _something_ so that I don't have to worry all the time! We never used to shut each other out; any trouble one of us got into we faced it together. Somehow that's changed – of all people's hearts I know yours the best, but now I can't understand it! It's still Subaru, and yet sometimes I think it's not – I can't recognise my twin brother anymore!"

"Maybe I've grown up," Subaru mumbled.

Hokuto came forward to take his gloved hand. Her voice took on a pleading note. "Subaru. Is there something on your mind, something that's worrying or scaring you? That night you stayed over at Sei-chan's place, did he do anything to you?"

"No!" Subaru reddened, jerking his hand back. "What in the world gave you that idea?"

Hokuto's eyes flashed. "Because you're not telling me anything! If you don't tell me anything then I'm going to assume something bad has happened and you don't want me to know about it!"

"If I don't want you to know about it, then there's probably a very good reason why!" snapped Subaru. "Have you ever thought about that? Or are you just frustrated that there's something you don't know and can't work out? Just because you're my sister doesn't mean you can know everything about me!"

"It's _because_ I'm your sister that I should know! You're too easily hurt and therefore you need me to take care of you!"

" _Need_ you to take care of me? You assumed that just like you assumed that I would want to go to dinner with Seishirou-san because really, I never _asked_ you to take care of me in the first place!"

Hokuto's face turned white. "So what is this?" she bit out. "My little brother doesn't need me any more, is that what he's saying?"

"What I'm saying is that you always do things for me that I might not want or need you to do and maybe I want you to stop!" Subaru shouted.

"Don't yell at me to stop!" Hokuto shouted back.

" _I'm_ yelling? You're the one who started yelling first!"

"If my brother wasn't acting like a moody jerk I wouldn't have to yell!"

"Well if my sister wasn't such a nosy busy-body I wouldn't—"

A shrill ringing penetrated the shouting. Subaru broke off, both him and Hokuto instinctively looking towards the source of the noise. At the far end of the kitchen bench the phone demanded attention with loud impatience. Hokuto folded her arms, glowering and refusing to move. Subaru sent her a glare as he got up to answer it. The ringing abruptly stopped as he lifted the receiver. "Hello?"

The caller was male and unfamiliar. What was not unfamiliar was the reason for calling; Subaru detachedly listened to the man explain the situation, most of his mind still caught up with the argument and his sister. As he cradled the phone against his ear occasionally making some noise of response, he watched Hokuto flounce into the stool he had vacated, sitting stiffly with arms folded and back towards him. Oblivious to the tension he had interrupted, the caller continued talking. Subaru made no attempt to encourage him.

Eventually the caller finished. Subaru thanked him and put the phone down. He did not look up. "I have a job," he said shortly.

Hokuto didn't reply. Her simmering anger made the air feel thick and heavy. Subaru avoided her eyes as he fetched his coat and bag. "I might be late, so don't cook dinner for me."

Still no reply. As he exited the room, Subaru risked a glance over his shoulder. Hokuto was looking pointedly at the wall away from him.

Subaru bit his lip. Then he bowed his head and quickly left.

 

* * *

 

The shrine where Subaru was supposed to meet his appointment wasn't one he was familiar with, so he had to look it up in a street directory loaned from a local shop-keeper. As it turned out it was outside Shinjuku-ku so he called a taxi, which, due to traffic congestion, dropped him off a few streets away. Subaru walked the rest of the distance at a fast pace, weaving through the after-lunch crowds. His pace was quick with gloved hands in pockets, head bowed, legs striding in an attempt to release the tension within. Some passer-bys cast him curious stares as they politely got out of his way. Subaru barely noticed them; his attention was directed inwards.

He had fought with Hokuto. Not just fought, he had actually shouted at her saying things that he shouldn't have. Part of Subaru still felt angry with his sister – she had been shouting at him, after all, demanding him to tell her things that he couldn't, so of course he had shouted back! And then making all those assumptions, deciding unilaterally what was good for him as if he were a child, didn't he have a _right_ to feel angry?

Even as those thoughts flickered through his head, Subaru's anger was already cooling into something he was more accustomed to, namely, guilt. Deep down – not even deep down – he could see why Hokuto was so angry with him, he himself would feel the same if their positions were reversed. Not that understanding her side of the matter made him feel any better, in fact it made Subaru feel worse, because he knew that really Hokuto didn't deserve any blame at all. He wished he could tell her what was going on, he really wished he could. Unfortunately, telling Hokuto was out of the question. Not if he wanted to keep her safe.

Subaru hunched over a little more. Best intentions aside, it didn't change the fact that had been horrid to yell at his sister like that. It was even worse having to conceal things from her.

No, not conceal. Subaru had virtually lied to her face.

 

_"I don't believe you!"_

 

Subaru's fingers knotted in their gloves; if he had been guilty earlier on, it was nothing compared to this. Yes, for all intents and purposes, he had lied to Hokuto. It had been blatantly obvious that he was hiding something, and he had told her there was nothing more to be said. To say that he was feeling awful didn't even begin to encompass the whole of it – this was even worse than having to lie to Mai's mother. This time, he had lied to his own sister. Worse still, he hadn't even hesitated in doing so.

Just what kind of person was Subaru becoming?

Someone bumped into him with a tinkle of bells. It shook Subaru out of his thoughts; chagrined, he immediately bowed in apology. "Sorry! I didn't see you there!" he said hurriedly before making as if to push past and continue—

"Still so clumsy, Subaru-san? I thought you would have outgrown this by now."

The familiar voice brought Subaru to an abrupt halt – he was a little surprised to find himself beneath the torii of the shrine he had been aiming for. Straightening, Subaru took a proper look at who it was he had run into. The subsequent visual confirmation did nothing to lessen his complete astonishment. "Obaa-chan?"

Lady Sumeragi inclined her head a minute degree in greeting. She was dressed in a winter kimono as white as her hair with an obi of pale grey, over which she wore a coat with a wide patterned collar. The clothes seemed somewhat out of place against the modern hustle and bustle of the Tokyo street, not that the matriarch of the Sumeragi clan was bothered by such things. She looked Subaru up and down with a critical eye. "Did Hokuto-san leave early this morning? You don't seem to be dressed to her usual standards."

"Huh?" Subaru looked down at his attire, then to the side where he caught sight of himself reflected in the window of a parked car. Only then did he realise that his head was uncharacteristically missing a hat, and the collared white shirt he was wearing was even in his eyes pining for some sort of accessory. Subaru's lips tightened as he remembered why Hokuto hadn't dressed him as was her normal routine. "I left in a hurry," he mumbled.

"In other words, you were running late." There was no note of disapproval in the twelfth Sumeragi Head's voice, instead she let her words speak for themselves. "Well, now that you have arrived, let us go inside where we can sit down and talk."

Subaru blinked. "Huh? But I'm supposed to meet someone regarding a job—"

He stopped as Lady Sumeragi fixed him in a patient expression. " _I_ am the one you are supposed to be meeting, Subaru-san. Haven't you realised that by now?" Subaru could only look chastened at this. "Come."

Subaru respectfully allowed his grandmother to proceed beneath the torii first before following a step later. The moment they crossed the busy activity of afternoon Tokyo immediately dropped, left behind at the gate not to disturb the shrine's grounds as the shrine's other visitors, predominantly elderly men and women, enjoyed the calm and peace that was difficult to find in the city. Once inside, Lady Sumeragi and Subaru cleansed their hands at the fountain before entering the offering hall to give their coin. Subaru used the moment of prayer that followed to calm himself. He had no idea what had brought his grandmother all the way from Kyoto to Tokyo, but whatever it was, it had to be important. He would have to be able to listen without distraction.

They sat down on a bench at the back of the offering hall. Only then did they speak.

"You didn't tell me you were going to be visiting Tokyo, Obaa-chan," said Subaru. He watched as an old man made his prayer. "If you had said something to me I could have come to see you."

"I came to Tokyo to visit the Imperial Household. Whilst I was there, the head of the Investigative Bureau told me that he had an assignment for you. I asked if I could brief you about it directly, and he gave me all the details." Lady Sumeragi turned away a little. "There is also something of a more personal nature I need to tell you, Subaru-san."

Subaru frowned. "What is it?"

Lady Sumeragi took out a sheaf of papers from beneath her coat, the bells hanging from the fan tucked into her obi ringing as she did so. "Let's discuss the new job first," she said. "I'm sure that you're aware that there are numerous religious groups in this country – or rather, _shinkō shūkyō_. This request is from the Minister of Education asking you to conduct an inquiry into one of these groups."

"The Minister of Education wants to investigate a religious group?" asked Subaru in mild surprise as he took the papers.

"The number of _shinkō shūkyō_ arising has considerably increased in recent years. Most of these have already been investigated by the government, but the problem with the religious group in question here is that it is comprised almost entirely of junior and high school students."

Subaru skimmed over the opening brief; it seemed vaguely familiar. "Are they sure it's not just a new form of cram school?"

"Cram schools don't have devotion assemblies in the curriculum. In any case, for obvious reasons it is impossible for the men from the Investigative Bureau to infiltrate such a group, which is why they thought of you. You're a high-school student; it would be no problem for you to join." Subaru decided now was not the best time to inform his grandmother that it had been weeks since he had gone to a class and he wasn't about to return. "It's called the 'MS Institute.' Its location and the rest of the details are in that file."

 _MS Institute._ That name definitely rang a bell. "Okay." His grandmother didn't say anything and Subaru continued reading, already focused on the work. As he progressed through the brief he frowned; he was sure he had done this case before, but his memory was being decidedly vague – hadn't something happened to one of the teachers? He wasn't sure.

"Subaru-san."

"Yes?"

"Are you all right here?"

Subaru looked up. Lady Sumeragi seemed to be watching him closely. "Ah, things aren't bad if that's what you're wondering," he replied, inwardly wincing as his memory threw him the image of his sister turned stiffly away – had he just told another lie? "Why do you ask?"

"When you last came to see me in Kyoto, you were behaving a little oddly," Lady Sumeragi replied. In front of them, a small group of camera-bearing tourists had come in and were exclaiming loudly over the hall's design. Soon the sound of snapping shutters was echoing through the sanctity of the hall. "I'm simply wondering how you are handling things living by yourself in Tokyo."

"I'm not by myself."

"You know what I mean, Subaru-san. Mature and responsible you and your sister may be, you are still only sixteen years of age and younger than I would like to be living by yourself in the city." Suddenly she gave him a penetrating look. "You _do_ tell me if and when you're having trouble, yes?"

Subaru tried to sound reassuring. "There hasn't been anything I couldn't handle. Really, Obaa-chan, it's almost as if you're expecting something to happen to me." Lady Sumeragi didn't reply to this. Something in her posture made Subaru concerned. "Is something wrong?"

His grandmother sighed. "I did a fire divination earlier this month. In it, I saw something about you."

The hairs on the back of Subaru's neck began to prickle. "Something about me?" he asked casually. The camera flashes were distracting, almost harsh. Somewhere, someone was admonishing the tourists. "What did you see?"

Half in shadow, Lady Sumeragi's face was unreadable. Subaru unconsciously tensed. "Sakura …" she breathed.

"Subaru-san walking into the sakura … and never looking back."

 

_—he was in pain from his broken arm and the beating he had taken and the damage to his heart and still that person was smiling that glorious cold smile and all around him the flowers were so beautiful and he was going to be killed and he knew even in that moment of complete despair that he would accept it because it was that special person—_

 

Subaru wrenched himself free of the memory and shoved it viciously back in the cell where it was supposed to be kept. _No,_ he told himself, _no, just because Obaa-chan saw that in the divination doesn't mean it's going to happen. It might not mean death; it might mean something completely different. The future is not yet decided._ He took a deep breath, squashing the sudden stab of fear. His heart, however, refused to calm down. "Was there anything else?" he asked, hoping his voice didn't betray him.

Lady Sumeragi looked at him strangely, then turned away. "I have said enough. You are the thirteenth clan head, Subaru-san; you have your work to focus on. I will deal with this. Later, I will tell you – for now it is better that you don't know."

"But—"

"I said no, child. That is final."

Subaru stared at her in disbelief. He knew what his grandmother was doing, trying to protect him by keeping him in the dark, but even so he couldn't help but feel resentful. The use of the word 'child' only exacerbated the situation. For a moment he wanted to shout and demand she tell him – but no. She was his grandmother, his teacher and clan matriarch, and other than Hokuto, his only other direct family member. Glowering, Subaru sank back down onto the bench and glared at the unoffending floor. _Such a good boy, aren't I._

Lady Sumeragi watched him. "Your gloves," she said abruptly, "have you taken them off?"

"Huh?" Subaru glanced down at his hands, encased in soft black leather – he hardly even noticed the gloves any more, so used was he to wearing them. "No, I haven't." _Not that they make any difference._

Lady Sumeragi closed her eyes as if in relief or sudden weariness. "Oh, Subaru-san," she said softly. Suddenly she reached out to take his gloved right hand in her wrinkled one. As Subaru watched, surprised and uneasy, she lifted his hand to touch it to her forehead. Snow-white hair fell around his wrist like a curtain. "It's my fault, I should never have left you alone then. I've kept hoping that this would never come to pass, but this foretelling …"

She was shaking now, minute tremors beneath the heavy coat and kimono, but apparent all the same. Any irritation Subaru was feeling towards her was immediately killed; he wanted to do something, say something, anything to stop his grandmother from bending over his hand as if she were begging for forgiveness. "Obaa-chan—"

He gasped as the hand on his unexpectedly tightened, squeezing his fingers in a vice-like grip that was nowhere near as fierce as the eyes that suddenly met his. "Don't be led away by the sakura, Subaru-san. You, you must be strong – don't let the sakura seduce you!"

Subaru stared, disturbed and unable to speak. After a moment Lady Sumeragi let his hand go, her unprecedented public display of emotion over. Subaru turned away. _It's too late for warnings, Obaa-chan_ , he thought dully. _Years and years too late._

 

* * *

 

Lady Sumeragi left immediately after the conclusion of their talk. She refused Subaru's offer of hospitality, saying that Tokyo was not a place she liked to stay in any longer than necessary, and even his offer to accompany her to the train station. Instead, a black government car, obviously pre-arranged, arrived outside the shrine at her service (much to the amazement of the rest of the shrine's visitors, especially the tourists who immediately started taking pictures). The most she would let Subaru do was escort her to the door that the driver respectfully opened for her. As always, Subaru wished her farewell and promised to come to Kyoto soon; as always, Lady Sumeragi told him to work hard on the new case. Then she was driven away. Subaru waved after her, wondering if she was even looking to see, until the car was out of sight. The moment it was, he began to run.

The subway station was a fair distance away on foot. Subaru was heaving for breath as he got his ticket, but dashed off through the gates anyway to the platform barely in time to catch a train to Kabuki-cho. There were a number of empty seats, and as the train began to move Subaru sank gratefully into one of these, taking some small comfort in the fact that at least for the next few minutes he couldn't do anything except wait and rest. Unfortunately, that left him free to think.

The description of his grandmother's foreseeing in the fire hadn't been particularly surprising. Subaru knew that the Sakurazukamori was inexplicably entwined with his future; he didn't need a vision to tell him that. However, in the previous time, his grandmother had done a similar fire divination, and the foreseeing from it had been something else. Subaru remembered his grandmother's words that time quite clearly …

 

_"Sakura … the sakura steals Subaru-san away."_

 

Subaru bit his lip nervously. _Before Obaa-chan said that in the foreseeing I was stolen by the Sakura. This time she said I walked into it. In both I still end up being taken by the Sakura, but stolen implies a lack of initiative on my part whereas this time I seem to be going of my own free will. How significant is that difference? Does it mean that I'm prepared to meet Seishirou-san? Or does it simply mean that the outcome is going to be the same, except this time I know what I'm getting into?_

So many questions, so many possible interpretations. Having not had the vision himself it was impossible for Subaru to try and get anything useful out of it, but even so, the vision made one thing sharply clear: the end of the Bet was coming, and soon. Following it would be the day Hokuto was supposed to die.

Subaru hunched in on himself, trying to squash the little voice inside that was screaming that he grab time with both hands and demand it to a stop – panicking was useless and wouldn't accomplish anything. But the voice was stubborn and evaded all attempts at execution, instead thinning out until it was like a screech of fingernails on blackboard that was even worse than the screaming. Worst still, it had a point – as things were at the moment, Subaru didn't believe he was anywhere close to winning the Bet. Yes, he was certain that it was possible for the Sakurazukamori to feel emotion; he had seen it himself on the Final Day. But that one moment of admitted feeling had taken years to reach, whereas now Subaru had only a little over two months until the Bet finished …

 _I can't waste any more time._ Subaru fidgeted restlessly in the seat, barely noticing the advertisements flashing past the windows. _I have to devote myself to winning; I can't afford to be distracted. Maybe I should stop just working._

The bag that held his things lay heavy on his lap. Subaru stared at it, visualising its contents and wishing the case-file for the MS Institute would disappear. There would be consequences if he turned the job down, serious ones, especially if it was a request from one of the government departments, and he didn't want to imagine what his grandmother would say if she knew what was going through his head right now. But Hokuto's life was at stake, and surely his grandmother would understand that if she knew.

If she knew.

If he refused the job having already accepted it, it was a given that his grandmother would ask why. Not just her, but Hokuto as well. Subaru couldn't tell them. Yet another secret he had to hide.

 

_"You're hiding something, there's something you're not telling me, I know it!"_

 

Subaru squeezed his eyes shut – back to that again, there was no escaping. It felt horrible to be so alienated from his twin sister, as if his gut was being stretched around a cold and slimy boulder. While they had argued before, today had been the first time they had actually fought and first time they had parted ways still angry. Subaru didn't know what was going to happen when he got home. Even if they both apologised and forgave each other, the memory of their anger and insults would linger at their back of their minds like the aftertaste of sour milk—

The train pulled up to his station. Subaru was already out of his chair and waiting impatiently at the doors. The moment they slid open he jumped out, hurrying through the ticket gate and taking the steps two at a time to get back to the street. He was too restless to wait for a taxi that would take him back to his apartment block, so he continued on foot at a quick walk through the narrow side streets. It wasn't overly far to home, and with any luck Hokuto should still be there either in his apartment or hers and he could tell her that he was sorry for yelling and everything would once again be well between them—

Subaru came to a familiar corner and stopped.

It was hard to read the sign in front of the veterinary clinic in this light, but then again, Subaru didn't need to. As he watched, the glass door for the clinic opened and two people came out. The first of them was a young woman, probably a university student, who seemed rather distressed. Her companion, a man about the same age, put an arm around her shoulders and guided her into the passenger seat of the car parked in front of the clinic. Once she was settled, he got in himself on the other side. There was a puff of exhaust fumes as the engine started up, then they drove away.

Subaru hesitated. He hadn't seen Seishirou since the night he had stayed over; in fact they hadn't had any contact at all. Schedules aside, it required a lot of effort to deal with the man especially given present circumstances, and in addition to that was just plain awkwardness. Most of the time when they saw each other Hokuto was present, a buffer between Subaru and Seishirou's attentions and an excuse to keep conversation casual, whereas being alone together carried with it the expectation of certain behaviour that Subaru wasn't comfortable with and found easier to simply avoid altogether. Though thinking back on it, when he had stayed over that night it hadn't been _that_ bad, and Seishirou had been extremely solicitous, and lying with his head in Seishirou's lap had been actually rather nice …

Subaru blushed then was immediately irritated with himself. _Stop it. You know Seishirou-san wasn't being kind because he was actually concerned for your welfare – it's the part he's supposed to play. Just because you care for him doesn't mean you can blind yourself to that._

It was a little too easy to decide. Subaru turned and headed down the street to the Sakurazuka Veterinary Clinic. Hokuto he would see tonight, he told himself, he would apologise to her then. He opened the door to the tune of cat bells and went inside.

"Ah, Sumeragi-kun!" The middle-aged woman who was the clinic's receptionist beamed as the door closed behind him. The veterinary assistant was with her – apparently Subaru had interrupted some discussion or other – and she too looked up at him with a smile. Before Subaru could even ask his question the assistant said, "Sakurazuka-sensei is with a patient at the moment, but you can go through and see him. He'll be glad to see you – we've been busy and the poor man has been on his feet the whole day."

"Thank you." Subaru nodded politely as he passed the two women – was the assistant's smile a little knowing? He had never really wondered what the clinic staff thought about him and his very regular social visits to their employer before, but now that he was less naïve he could imagine that there were all sorts of things going through their heads, none of which he really wanted to know. At least unlike Hokuto they were tactful enough not to speak those thoughts aloud. Putting them out of his mind Subaru came to the door of the operating room and gave a hesitant knock. "Come in!" a voice called out.

An inexplicable shyness suddenly gripped Subaru, but it was too late to turn away. He pushed the door open and peered inside. Seishirou was at the operating table and was looking curiously over his shoulder. When he saw who his visitor was his expression softened into pleasant surprise. "Well, this is unexpected – I didn't think I would see you this week."

Subaru entered the room and closed the door behind him. "Hello, Seishirou-san," he said a little hesitantly. "Ah, am I bothering you?"

"No, no, you're never a bother." Seishirou gestured for him to come closer. "A couple of people just came in with an emergency," he explained as Subaru approached. "They said that she darted out unexpectedly in front of their car and they swerved too late to avoid her. The young lady who was driving was very upset, obviously, and since this was the closest animal hospital brought her here. I promised that I'd do everything to help, but … well, you can see for yourself."

Putting his bag on the nearest bench, Subaru came to Seishirou's side. Lying on an old blanket in the middle of the operating table was a young female cat, or rather, what was left of one. The front half of her body was untouched, but beyond her chest … even to Subaru's untrained eye he knew there was no hope. The car wheels had crushed her hindquarters almost beyond recognition, leaving little but a mess of blood and bone and torn muscle. Her stomach had been ripped open and a piece of raw intestine spilled out like a long thin worm releasing a heavy stench that made Subaru gag. Seishirou reached out to steady him. "Subaru-kun?"

Subaru lowered the hand he had lifted to cover his mouth. "The poor cat – that's horrible!"

Seishirou sighed as he went to get something out of the cupboard. "Cars are powerful machines; it's a miracle if an animal survives being hit by one. Sadly, that miracle isn't happening today."

Gently, trying not to breathe too deeply, Subaru reached out to stroke the cat between the ears. The grey fur was still soft. "Is there anything you can do?" he asked.

"To make her better? No, the injuries are too severe, and she's slowly dying as it is. The kindest thing to do would be to put her down."

Subaru's gloved fingers curled; even though he knew this was the only option he had briefly hoped that maybe, just maybe … the cat moved her head minutely, pressing into his touch as if seeking relief from the obvious pain she was in. "She doesn't want to die," he said softly.

"No, she doesn't." Seishirou sounded truly apologetic as he turned around; he had a syringe in his hand, filled with clear, deadly fluid. "But unfortunately that doesn't count for anything."

The words should have stung him, layered as they were in veiled meanings applicable to more than the doomed cat before them, but they didn't. Regretfully, perhaps even a little detachedly, Subaru watched Seishirou check the syringe for bubbles, then brush the fur along the cat's left foreleg looking for the appropriate place to insert the needle. Subaru moved his hand to cup the cat's head and scratch beneath the chin, trying to offer what comfort he could. Suddenly Seishirou paused.

"Subaru-kun."

"Yes?"

"You don't have to watch this if you don't want to."

"I'm all right."

Seishirou frowned. "Are you sure? It might upset you."

"I'll be fine, Seishirou-san," replied Subaru perhaps a little sharply. "Don't make assumptions."

The amber eyes looked at him strangely. "Very well," said Seishirou. Then before Subaru could say anything more, he pushed the needle into the upper part of the cat's leg and evacuated the contents into the bloodstream. The effect was almost immediate; Subaru felt the head tilt away from him as the muscles relaxed, and there was a hitch in the rapid breathing. The breathing restarted quickly, but slower and deeper even as Subaru maintained his soothing caresses. It wasn't long before the breathing stopped altogether.

The silence that followed weighed down the room. Wordlessly Seishirou removed the syringe then went to dispose of it. Subaru didn't move from the operating table; the cat's fur was still warm and soft, and he was reluctant to leave. He stared at the body, the strangeness of the juxtaposing parts: one whole and still recognisable as a cat, the other a weird disorder of fleshy innards and fluids exposed to light for the first time. It struck Subaru then that the inside of his own body wasn't much different from this. Suddenly he remembered Kotori, Kamui's childhood friend. He had never met the girl in person, only seen her in the moments before the wires that bound her to the cross had sliced her to pieces reducing her body into its components of broken limbs, guts, bone, sinew and blood …

"You surprise me, Subaru-kun."

Subaru blinked the memory away. "Hm?"

"The first time you watched me put an animal down, you wept. Now, your eyes are as dry as mine." Seishirou returned to the operating table holding a black bag. As Subaru watched Seishirou opened the bag and lifted the blanket on which the dead cat lay and put the carcass inside. Subaru watched this with a touch of sorrow; he knew it would be left in the cold room that was at the back of the clinic for a few days, and if no one claimed the remains would be picked up to be sent to the incinerator. "You've changed."

As casually as possible Subaru shrugged, trying to hide his sudden discomfiture. "I have?"

"Oh yes." Seishirou closed the bag. "You've grown up."

Subaru flushed. "Well, I'm glad someone's noticed," he mumbled. Suddenly he wished Hokuto was there. A buffer.

"It's rather hard not to." The bag was slung away to a place where the assistant would retrieve it then Seishirou a window opened thankfully letting in some fresh air. "Do you mind if I smoke?" Subaru absently shook his head. With a smile of acknowledgement Seishirou fetched his cigarettes and lighter from his coat then returned to lean against the open window. Expertly he flicked a tiny flame into existence, touching it to the end of the cigarette which immediately caught. Thin tendrils of smoke curled and danced in front of his face before being drawn outside – Subaru watched them disappear, suddenly wanting a cigarette himself but with a little effort ignored the craving. Seishirou took a drag before speaking again. "Did something happen with Hokuto-chan this morning?"

Subaru started and stared in surprise. "How did you know?"

"Your clothes. Hokuto-chan would never let you out of the apartment looking like that on a normal day."

"Oh." Subaru turned away, blood heating his face. _Seishirou-san can read me so well_.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He sounded so sincere, so curious, that even knowing that it was pretence Subaru felt himself wanting to open up to him just like that other night when it had been raining. Unlike that time, however, Subaru was not vulnerable and in need of comfort. "I-I'm sorry, Seishirou-san, but …"

"You need to deal with it yourself." Seishirou smiled to show that he was not offended. "I understand. Still, if you need anything, if you want me to talk to her—"

"I know who to ask." Subaru smiled shyly. "Thank you."

Seishirou nodded, his cigarette growing shorter and turning into ash. He stubbed it out on the windowsill and flicked it outside. "Still, I hope you pardon me if I speculate. Actually, Hokuto-chan and I have been quite surprised by you as of late. Sometimes you seem like a different person."

Minutely, Subaru tensed. "I'm sorry," he said for lack of anything else to say. Where was Seishirou going with this?

"It's nothing to be sorry about, in fact, it might be a good thing. Still, I do wonder, what happened to the cute boy I fell in love with?"

Oh, he definitely wished Hokuto was here now. "What you said yourself," replied Subaru as nonchalantly as possible, pretending to find something of interest on the blank operating table as he tried to think of a way to change the subject. "He grew up."

"Is that so?" Movement behind him, a shadow over the table – Subaru started, instinctively beginning to step away only to stop short and freeze as a pair of hands suddenly pressed down flat on the table on either side of him so that he was effectively trapped— "And may I ask what exactly does that mean?"

His pulse was racing; Subaru tried to calm it without success. He was painfully aware of Seishirou behind him, the man's familiar presence suddenly turned into a physical reality that was far too close for comfort. Somehow Subaru managed to hold himself from any untoward action – this was still the Bet and this was still in the clinic, so surely the Sakurazukamori was just playing … right?

Warm, nicotine-scented breath stirred the hair by his ear. "So tell me," said Seishirou, his voice deliberately casual. "Just how much have you grown up?"

Subaru couldn't answer. He stared at Seishirou's hands as they lay on the table; they were elegant hands, their strength hidden by refinement, and next to Subaru's own gloved hands which were almost gripping the edge of the operating table, blatantly free of any constraint. Their proximity to Subaru's was too near to be accidental – Seishirou's right thumb was virtually brushing the edge of Subaru's right hand, any actual contact insubstantial through the black leather. One movement of Subaru's smallest finger and he could change that, touch Seishirou's hand outright or at least the next best thing with gloves were still on. It would be so easy, require so little effort, but the significance of such an action, what it would mean … Subaru swallowed, unable to bring himself to make that movement even though part of him, that part of him that had accepted he loved this man, was _yelling_ at him in Hokuto's voice to stop being such an idiot because Seishirou was making no attempt to move his hand any further as if he was waiting for—

A knock on the door made Subaru jump. Before he could say anything Seishirou took his hands away and stepped back – Subaru felt a pang of loss. "Come in!" said Seishirou cheerfully.

The door opened and the assistant looked inside. "Sorry to disturb you, Sakurazuka-sensei," said the woman, briefly glancing at them – Subaru wondered how red his face was and whether she was going to gossip about this later on. "I thought I should let you know Matsura-san and her rabbit are here for their appointment."

"Thank you." The young woman smiled and left, leaving the door open. Seishirou turned to Subaru with a wry smile of his own as nothing had been interrupted. "Looks like I should get back to work. But I'm glad you dropped in – it was good to see you, even if only for a little while."

That was an implied dismissal if he ever heard one. "Y-yeah," said Subaru. He retrieved his bag, suddenly eager to get away and clear his head.

"Do you have a job this week?" asked Seishirou as he escorted Subaru out of the room.

"I just got one."

"Dear me, so I might not get much of a chance to see you over the next few days. Never mind; I shall persevere and treat you to something the first moment you're free." They reached the reception area and Seishirou gallantly opened the front door for Subaru ignoring the various looks from the clinic staff and waiting client. "Don't forget to take good care of yourself – you don't want to make Hokuto-chan worry."

"All right." Hokuto – was she still angry with him or was she recriminating herself as Subaru was doing? Never mind, he would soon find out. Before that, though … out the door already, Subaru half-turned to look back. Politeness, if nothing else, demanded a proper goodbye. "I … I'll see you later, then."

"I look forward to it." Suddenly Seishirou reached out, and before Subaru could even think of reaching for an ofuda, ran the tip of his finger down the bridge of Subaru's nose. Subaru leapt back in surprise, one hand flying up to cover his face.

"Seishirou-san!"

Seishirou grinned, completely unrepentant as laughter and whispers were exchanged behind him. "So there's my cute little Subaru-kun. You weren't so far away after all." Subaru could only gape at him and continued doing so as Seishirou went back inside the clinic with a wave and a parting call. "Be careful on the way back!"

The glass door swung shut. Subaru lowered his hand and stared at it, his mind still trying to process what had happened. On the other side of the glass Seishirou was greeting his client and joking with the staff. Subaru couldn't hear their voices.

On the street, the shadows were stretching to the east. Slowly, thoughtfully, Subaru turned to go home.

 

* * *

 

The apartment was empty.

Standing in the shadowed doorway, Subaru looked over his perfectly cleaned kitchen and wondered why it made him uneasy. He had already checked Hokuto's apartment for his sister and when he hadn't found her there had thought she was still in his apartment, which would mean she was no longer angry with him. It was an unpleasant surprise to be wrong. With a sigh Subaru dumped his bag and coat on the kitchen bench, then without bothering to turn on the lights, went into the living area where he sank tiredly into the sofa. The forlorn sounds of his actions were immediately swallowed by the larger silence of the room. At this time of year it had already grown dark outside, and in the city countless points and patches of light were being structured into building-shapes whilst the roads had become streams of red and yellow car lights. The whole atmosphere was eerily reminiscent of his apartment in the years after Hokuto's death when he would return to dark, lifeless rooms, and the déjà vu filled Subaru with trepidation.

He missed his sister terribly.

Seconds ticked by, loud and methodical, marked out by the impassive clock. Subaru listened to them pass, trying not to think about the ordeal of filling in the long hours before sleep by himself; loneliness may have been a familiar companion and one he had managed to live with in those years after Hokuto's death, but he didn't like it. Already he was regretting having gone to see Seishirou – if he hadn't, if he had come home earlier maybe he would have managed to catch his sister before she left, maybe he could have arranged for the two of them to have dinner together. Of course, Hokuto could have gone out long before he had come home, in which case if wouldn't have mattered if Subaru had detoured to see Seishirou or not, but still, that _maybe_ was there. He wanted his sister back, wanted her fussing over his clothes and to hear her singing in the kitchen, wanted to be held in her comforting embrace. For that matter, he wanted Seishirou's familiar presence tangible and close, wanted those amber-gold eyes to be watching him, the touch of Seishirou's hand—

Subaru flushed at the inadvertent thought before being immediately irritated with himself. Nice as the idea was in his head, it was a very different matter when it came to reality. Looking back on Seishirou's actions in the operating room that afternoon, Subaru could see that it had been a test, a challenging move on a go board aimed at forcing a response by which the opponent could be measured. Subaru could have done anything as long as he had done something, but instead had frozen in the hope that the decision would be taken out of his hands. It had probably been the worst thing to do.

 

_"So there's my cute little Subaru-kun. You weren't so far away after all."_

 

 _He sees me as a child_ , thought Subaru wearily. _Just like Obaa-chan and Hokuto-chan – they all see me as a child and treat me as such. Though with Seishirou-san … is it really so surprising?_

Perhaps not. Their encounter that afternoon had been unnerving, not just because of what had transpired, but also because of the realisation it had brought: that to be in a relationship with someone was to allow certain liberties to be taken with his own person. It was a concept that Subaru was far from comfortable with even knowing his feelings for Seishirou, partly due to the old, ingrained training about the consequences of lowering his defences, partly due to his reserved nature. Seishirou wasn't going to do any harm to him whilst the Bet was going on, but that condition didn't extend to protect Subaru from embarrassment, and if Subaru could be embarrassed just by the veterinary assistant walking in on Seishirou leaning over him like he had been, how bad would it have been if she had found them doing anything else?

 _Anything else._ The two words covered a lot of things, and thanks to Hokuto and Seishirou Subaru's mind could immediately jump to the more interesting possibilities. Despite being alone in the apartment Subaru blushed, one hand covering his mouth as if to contain his rather scandalous thoughts, thoughts he was ashamed to admit, gave him some secret delight—

A loud ringing suddenly filled the room. Subaru blinked, realising it was the phone. Immediately he thought of Hokuto – maybe she was calling to let him know she was coming home. He went to answer it. "Hello?"

"Sumeragi Subaru-san?" The caller was male and spoke with an air of impatience. Disappointed, Subaru answered that yes, it was he. "I'm calling on behalf of the Minister of Education. He wishes to extend his thanks and gratitude for you in accepting the job."

 _Job? What job?_ Subaru frowned, then, catching sight of his bag lying on the kitchen counter, remembered. "Oh, okay," he said mechanically, still preoccupied with the whereabouts of his sister. Suddenly his eyes widened – the Bet, Hokuto-chan, time – and he grabbed the phone as if to physically stop the conversation from going further. "A-actually, wait!"

"I've also been instructed – yes?"

Even now Subaru hesitated. He knew should take the job, he really should, responsibility and duty demanded it, and given that it was a specific personal request from the government the consequences of him turning it down, especially after his grandmother had already spoken on his behalf, would be serious. On the other hand, there was Hokuto and Seishirou, and the potential cost to them if he said yes to the job …

 

_"Dear me, so I might not get much of a chance to see you over the next few days."_

 

Against those he loved, everything else weighed nothing.

"Sumeragi-san?"

Subaru took a deep breath, preparing himself. "I'm sorry," he said as calmly as possible, "but I cannot accept the job."

There was a short pause. "I beg your pardon?"

The words were laced with a mixture of disapproval and disbelief that made Subaru tense. "I have to decline the job," he said, trying to restrain the sudden need to blurt out the reasoning behind his decision. Given the type of person who was calling him, he doubted it would have made any difference anyway.

"Sumeragi-san." The man sounded as if he was doing his best to keep his temper in check. "Let me emphasis to you that this case is a _personal request_ from the Minister of Education who is one of the foremost members of this country's parliament. You cannot simply _decline_ this job."

Subaru began to feel a little irritated, not so much at the man he was speaking to – from the sound of it he was probably nothing more than an aide who had instructions to follow – but rather, at his grandmother for getting him into the situation in the first place. "I'm sorry," he repeated yet again. "I understand that Obaa— my predecessor already spoke to you about this, but it was before she consulted with me. I'm afraid that – that certain circumstances prevent me from taking this job." Still disapproval radiated off the phone and Subaru wavered just a little. "If you like I can recommend another onmyouji that might be able to—"

"That will be unnecessary." The man gave a long sigh. "It's obvious that you've made up your mind, and I am going to have to consult with the minister about what further action to take. I can say already that he's going to be disappointed."

Subaru winced. "Please give him my apologies."

"Of course. Good night, Sumeragi-san."

The call ended. Subaru stared at the phone in his hand at the moment then put it down expelling a breath he didn't even know he had been holding. It had been awkward to decline the job like that, immensely so, but on the other hand it felt _good._ Before he had accepted almost every job he had been given purely out of a desire to avoid such confrontations and not make trouble for anyone. His grandmother was going to be absolutely furious with him, he knew that, but if this meant that he could spend more time with Hokuto and Seishirou, then so be it.

Still, he had to admit that he felt rather guilty. After all, they had asked for him specifically to take the case, just like last time … Subaru suddenly felt uneasy. If he had taken this case originally, what was going to happen this time having turned it down? Up until now he had for most part followed the same events that had happened when he had first lived this life and thus known in general what was to come in future. It had been safe, familiar – and finished with Hokuto's death.

Perhaps it was about time that Subaru went into uncharted territory.

Subaru admitted he felt a little frightened.

The clock chimed. Seven o'clock. Subaru moved to turn on the lights. No matter; his decision was made, and he was going to have to live with it and everything it would bring. Right now he just hoped that it would bring him his sister. Leaving his bag abandoned on the kitchen bench Subaru went to cupboard and got out a pack of instant ramen. With any luck by the time he had finished dinner Hokuto would be home. If not, well, he was quite prepared to wait up for as long as needed. She would come home, he would ask for her forgiveness, and everything will be as it once was.

Or would it? Even if he apologised and Hokuto and he stopped being angry at each other, it didn't mean that he could tell her the truth of what was going on or what had happened to him. Ever since he had woken up in this time, he had been living each day pretending to be a person he now longer was …

An unpleasant realisation struck. Now that Subaru thought about it, he had lived nine years longer than his twin, and warped as they had been, he still remembered them and the experiences that made him the person he was now. By comparison, Hokuto was still the girl she was before she had died. Simply put, Subaru had nine years of life over his twin sister.

 

_"Of all people's hearts I know yours the best, but now I can't understand it! It's still Subaru, and yet sometimes I think it's not – I can't recognise my twin brother anymore!"_

 

 _We've grown apart_ , thought Subaru unhappily. _Hokuto-chan is still the person I know and remember, but me, I'm not the same for her. After she died I became a person she would not have known, and in a way I'm still that person. I'm not the brother she knew in life, and I can't go back to him. Innocence once lost is gone forever._

_It's not the same as what Seishirou-san did – is going to do – but in a way, I'm still losing my sister._

Something wet touched the side of his nose. Angrily Subaru lifted an arm and wiped the offending tear away with his sleeve. "It's not fair," he said softly to the empty apartment walls. "I'm doing this to save her, why must things be this way?"

The walls didn't answer.


	8. Annex II - Grandmother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fortune of the Sumeragi was a standard question for the fire – for most divinations, actually – and it had served them well in the past. Certainly it was one reason why the family still endured today.

The heat from the fire thickened the air in the ceremonial hall beyond the point of discomfort, but it was a discomfort Lady Sumeragi was accustomed to. Behind her the ranks of lesser onmyouji murmured their chants in a low steady drone, ceaseless as the roll of ocean surf, and she settled her thoughts within their pattern. It was a familiar ritual, one she had practiced innumerable times in the past until she almost didn't need to think about it. Of course, she always did think about it. One did not become the head of the Sumeragi by being careless, and even though she no longer held that position the dignity of the title still dictated everything she did.

The chanting increased. As if in response the fire crackled, throwing up little flicks of flame that darted towards the high ceiling before winking out. Lady Sumeragi watched them with eyes only a little blurred by age; she had three questions to ask of the fire tonight, and she hoped they would all be answered well. Especially the last question …

 _Enough,_ she told herself. _It is time to start._

Reaching out, Lady Sumeragi picked up the calligraphy brush that lay on the small table in front of her. Her other hand picked up a light wooden plaque. The first question was simple – a faithful servant of the house had been admitted to hospital with cancer and Lady Sumeragi had promised his family to cast his fortune. Dipping the brush in the ink she wrote the name of the servant on the plaque and as she did so she thought of him, his image, his person, the care and dignity with which he performed his duties. Once done she dropped the plaque in the fire. The plaque caught light almost immediately – the wood was dry and prepared beforehand – and as it began to burn the vision came, flickering like the fires that called it. In her mind she saw the man dressed for burial, with a young child of perhaps six or seven paying respects before the altar. Lady Sumeragi watched the vision calmly, feeling pleased. The child was not born yet, she knew, and she would be able to tell the family that the man would live to see a grandchild.

The plaque turned black, the character written on it disappearing taking the vision with it. Lady Sumeragi let it go – that was the nature of fire divinations, the visions they brought were fast. Still, what she had seen had been enough, and she would send word of her vision to the man and his family as soon as the ceremony finished; it would give them great relief. Many things were whispered about the Sumeragi family but never was it said that they did not take care of their people.

So. One question answered. Now to her own business. Picking up the second plaque Lady Sumeragi wrote on it the name of the Sumeragi family, her technique as elegant as that of a calligraphy master. She thought of the weight of the name, the honour of her family and all that it meant to her personally. The fortune of the Sumeragi was a standard question for the fire – for most divinations, actually – and it had served them well in the past. Certainly it was one reason why the family still endured today. When she finished she set the brush down and threw the plaque into the middle of the fire where it was immediately attacked by the hungry flames. Lady Sumeragi watched it catch alight with detachment, clearing her mind until it was as still as the surface of a lake, waiting for whatever the reading would give her.

_The house that I have led and still protect, how does it stand?_

The fire gave her an answer. She saw herself walking through the darkened hallways of the Sumeragi house in Kyōto, bare feet gliding swiftly over the wooden floors with the grace of her youth. Doors slid open as she passed them revealing empty rooms that felt stale and lifeless. Lady Sumeragi looked into these sadly; the Sumeragi family had grown smaller over the past few generations, and it didn't look like things were going to change. Suddenly another door opened and through it Lady Sumeragi saw her grandson, a child of five, playing inside with his twin sister, their white robes drinking in the moonlight. Green eyes laughed at each other oblivious to the shadows and darkness of the night. The image lasted only a moment – she tried to hold onto it, she really did – before the vision swept her relentlessly onwards. Resigned she let the vision carry her, passing more empty rooms but paying little heed to them. In all her years as a master onmyouji she had learnt that often in visions it was not what one saw that was important, but rather, what one felt. The image in this vision was simple enough – she had watched her grandchildren play like that many times when they were younger – but for some reason she felt uneasy. Maybe it was their innocence, maybe it was the shadows around them, she did not know, but the feeling was there. And to think that the future of the Sumeragi rested with them both …

The plaque broke in the fire. The vision disappeared. With a tiny shiver Lady Sumeragi opened her eyes; they were watering under the smoke, and her hair smelt of ash. More discomforts made themselves known – legs aching with the strain of maintaining her kneeling position, skin drying and cracking in the heat – reminding her that she was no longer young, something which the vision only made her feel more acutely. Thankfully there was only one more reading to perform, but it was also the most important. Once more, Lady Sumeragi took up her brush and a wooden plaque. On it, she wrote down the name of her grandson.

_Sumeragi Subaru._

Her strokes flowed into each other, quickly, urgently – this was the divination she wanted the most and almost didn't want to ask. She thought of her grandson, his face, his spirit, his power that she so desperately wanted to protect, the love for him she was never sure how to express. When the last stroke was complete Lady Sumeragi did not hesitate; she flung the plaque into the fire, and, trying to calm her pulse, asked her question.

_The son of my son, my student, my successor – what does destiny hold for him?_

The vision came immediately.

She was standing in darkness, not darkness of night, but rather, of illusion. Before her eyes appeared a tree, majestic in size and years like an old, terrible king, and covered in thousands of tiny pale pink flowers that fell like snow. Horror crept through Lady Sumeragi at the sight of the Sakura, symbol of her family's eternal enemy, but then her attention was arrested by something else. Out of the darkness beside her someone was walking towards the Tree: a young man, not overly tall, with windswept black hair and aged perhaps in his mid-twenties. Despite her dread Lady Sumeragi could not help but stare at him – was this the Sakurazukamori? She had never seen him, or at least she assumed it was a 'him' in this generation. But there was something about the young man that reminded her of someone …

The young man did not see her, walking straight towards the Sakura Tree. As the flowers blew about him, dancing with the flare of his pale coat, finally Lady Sumeragi realised why he looked familiar – this young man reminded her of her long-dead son. With a cry Lady Sumeragi began to run, stretching out to haul the young man back from the Sakura – but then she saw his eyes. They were clear, knowing, and a brilliant shade of emerald green that she could never mistake. Lady Sumeragi felt the blood drain from her face.

"Subaru-san …" she whispered.

Subaru did not see or hear her. Instead, he walked towards the Sakura Tree with his head held high. His steps never faltered.

"Subaru-san!" Lady Sumeragi tried to reach out to him. "Subaru-san!"

Subaru did not look back. As he drew closer the Tree seemed to welcome him, bowing its branches and letting fall thousands of tiny pale pink flowers that hid him from sight. Desperately Lady Sumeragi tried to summon a spell to scatter the flowers, forgetting that this was only a vision, that it wasn't really happening, that it was only the future—

" _Subaru-san!_ "

The vision ended. Lady Sumeragi opened her eyes, her grandson's name dying in her throat. In the fire the plaque on which she had written Subaru's name had been reduced to a blackened, shapeless lump. For a long minute she stared at it, the images from the vision seared into her mind and overlaying memory – herself, still old but not so old as she was now, running towards the tiny boy-child that stood gazing at the beautiful tree as if hypnotised … and all the time her heart sobbed the litany it had repeated for years, _if only, if only I had never left him alone, if only—_

The heat was drying her tears. Taking a deep breath Lady Sumeragi calmed herself; such a display was unworthy of her. The moment she was settled she stood up – her assistants moved to help her but she waved them off, glad for the thick ceremonial clothes that hid her aching legs – and walked with urgent steps towards the doors of the hall which were immediately opened for her. Outside, the autumn night was cool and peaceful, but Lady Sumeragi barely noticed. The dread of what she had seen for Subaru was twisting in her heart, and it crystallised into one sharp thought.

She had to go to Tokyo.


	9. Save A

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's because it's Sei-chan, isn't it. Do you know why?"

Subaru woke up with a sore neck and a vague crawling sensation on his skin. It was a moment before he realised why: he was sleeping on the couch, still dressed in yesterday's clothes, and the reason for this was because he had made himself stay up late to catch his sister when she returned. Obviously at some point his body had mutinied and gone to sleep anyway.

Sitting up slowly – sleeping on the couch hadn't been comfortable – Subaru looked around the apartment. Sunlight was glaring through the window, washing out the colours of the buildings beyond, whilst on the wall the clock indicated that it was past ten. Everything looked to be in order, and for a moment Subaru wondered if his fight with Hokuto yesterday had just been a figment of his imagination or not as bad as he thought it had been – but then he realised something was wrong. Usually at this hour of the morning there was breakfast waiting for him on the table with a set of hand-picked clothes, but there was nothing. In fact, his apartment looked exactly as it had when he had fallen asleep.

 

_"I never asked you to take care of me in the first place!"_

 

Subaru leapt for the door. He yanked it open, and, not even bothering to change his shoes, dashed across the hall to knock on the door directly opposite. "Hokuto-chan?"

No answer. Subaru knocked again, harder this time. "Hokuto-chan? Are you in there?"

Still no answer. Maybe Hokuto had gone out already for the day. If that was the case, then she had done so without bothering to go to his apartment and do any of the things she usually did for him in the morning. Subaru's gut twisted at the thought of his sister still being angry with him, and he desperately knocked again. " _Hokuto-chan!_ "

Without warning the door opened. It revealed a rather annoyed Hokuto wrapped in a fluffy pink bathrobe with a fluffy pink towel around her head like a turban. "What!"

Relief swept over Subaru like a wave. "You're still here," he said thankfully.

"Well, of _course_ I am, where else would I be?" Hokuto glared and adjusted the towel over her ear. "So what is it that you had to make me run out of the bathroom for?"

"Er …" Subaru trailed off; his sister's body language was impatient, not exactly welcoming, and with perfect timing his memory decided to remind him of some of the things he had said to her yesterday. He winced. "Um, can I come in?"

Hesitation flickered in Hokuto's emerald eyes for a second. "Sure." She stood aside. Subaru entered and she closed the door behind him. "What happened to your keys?" she asked.

"I—" Only then did Subaru realise how stupid he had been to bang on her door when he owned the means to open it. "I forgot."

"Well, that was just stupid of you, wasn't it." Hokuto's tone was airy, but there was a slight edge to it that spoke of wariness or guardedness. It made Subaru apprehensive but he steeled himself as he followed Hokuto into the main area of her apartment. "So is there any reason for you to come running over here?" she asked.

Subaru looked around the living area; it was littered with shopping bags of various shapes and colours, and there were clothes draped over the furniture, still with tags attached. Hokuto must have gone shopping yesterday. "I … I want to apologise."

Hokuto paused in the middle of the kitchen. "I see," she said neutrally.

That wasn't very encouraging. Subaru ploughed on. "About yesterday, when we … when I lost my temper and shouted at you, I didn't mean what I said. I just …" Subaru swallowed nervously; this wasn't the first time he had had to say sorry to his sister after an argument, but for some reason this occasion was particularly difficult. "I shouldn't have yelled at you. I shouldn't have said what I said. It was horrible of me because I know you were just worried about me, and I'm sorry. You wanted to help me and I hurt you instead." Still Hokuto hadn't turned to face him, a motionless statue wrapped in pink. Subaru wavered. "Can you … can you forgive me?" he asked in a small voice.

It was a moment before Hokuto responded. "What you said yesterday," she said quietly, strangely subdued, "what you said about not needing me – was that true?"

 _How could I—_ "No," replied Subaru.

"But you said it. If it's not true, then what did you mean?"

His heart was thumping, Subaru realised, and he clenched his hands as he tried to gather his thoughts. "I – I just, I didn't mean – I mean I—" Subaru caught himself and took a deep breath. "I didn't mean it like that. What I meant, the reason I was so upset yesterday, is … you don't need to decide everything for me or protect me all the time. Not that I'm saying that I don't need you to take care of me anymore," added Subaru hastily. "What I'm saying is, I want to be strong enough to support you the way you support me. If anything happened to you …" He trailed off, remembering silent rooms and crushing loneliness – _blood, so red on white and black and pale pink_ – and whispered, "It would destroy me. I don't know what I'd do; I couldn't take joy in anything ever again. Losing you would break me." Still Hokuto did not reply or even move, and Subaru felt the first stirrings of real desperation, that maybe he really had damaged something beyond repair. "I know I haven't been telling you much, but please, bear with me, it means so much to me that you're with me always—"

"Subaru." He broke off as Hokuto turned around; her eyes were very bright. "Thank you."

Disbelief, hope – Hokuto came forward, quick, light steps that made no sound as Subaru's heart began to untwist releasing a relief that was almost painful – and then Hokuto's arms were around him, holding him in a tight clasp that Subaru fiercely returned, burying his face in her shoulder. His cheeks were damp, he realised, but that wasn't important, not when his sister was with him, her love unconditional and as enfolding as her embrace, real and warm, and all the more poignant because Subaru knew what his world would be like if she was snatched away—

_No. Don't think about it._

He clutched her closer.

"Of course I forgive you," Hokuto whispered. "And I'm sorry too – I shouldn't have lost my temper, and you're right, I do take too much charge when I should let you do things on your own. But also – I love you, Subaru, please don't ever push me away. Even if you don't want to tell me something … just know that I'm here, all right?"

" _Yes._ " Subaru shut his eyes, something inside him finally beginning to breathe again. In silence the two siblings held each other, savouring their closeness and letting their presence speak what could not be put into words. Finally, they pulled away.

"Look at us." Hokuto wiped her eyes with her fingers and gave a shaky smile. "It's past ten and we're not even dressed, or at least I'm not. Actually, wait." Hokuto stepped back to check her brother over, eyes narrowing beneath the pink towel still wrapped around her head. "Isn't that what you were wearing yesterday?"

"Um …" Still somewhat raw from the emotional tension, Subaru tried to look unconcerned. "Well, I stayed up late last night waiting for you and ended up falling asleep on the couch, and then when I woke up the first thing I thought of was seeing you so—"

"Ew!" Comically Hokuto made a face, and just like that the apology session was officially over. "That's it – you're going to take a shower and I'm going to find you an outfit. After I get dressed, of course. Unless," she added hesitantly, "you already had something to wear?"

"Oh no." Subaru hastily waved off the idea. "I have no fashion sense, you know that! Besides, I like you dressing me up."

Hokuto's face brightened. "Great! Be back here in twenty minutes!" She turned to head towards her dressing room, only to change course as the cordless phone on the kitchen counter began to ring. She picked it up. "Hello, Sumeragi Hokuto speaking! Oh, Obaa-chama!"

The identification of the caller made Subaru, already halfway to the door, stop and look back. Hokuto was leaning against the kitchen counter, fiddling with the tie of her bathrobe as she spoke. "Things are going fine here, I'm just about to get dressed and make breakfast! Yes, I've done all my homework. Yes, Subaru's in my apartment – I'll put him on." She held the phone out to him. "Obaa-chama wants to speak to you."

"Okay." Confused, Subaru took the phone from his sister, wondering why their grandmother would be calling when she had just spoken to him yesterday – and then he remembered the job. More importantly, he remembered what he had done about the job. _I suppose I had to hear from her sooner or later,_ thought Subaru resignedly, a sinking feeling in his stomach as lifted the phone. "Hello?"

"What did you say to the Ministry of Education last night?" demanded Lady Sumeragi.

Subaru told himself to stay calm. "I said that I wasn't able to take the job."

" _Why?_ "

Subaru thought carefully about his next words, vaguely aware of Hokuto watching curiously from the doorway. "I've been working almost every day for the past few weeks, and yesterday when you spoke to me I had only slept for two hours because I got home at ten in the morning. I declined the job because I thought it would be good to take a break for a little while."

"Subaru-san." Lady Sumeragi sounded as if she was _this close_ to losing her temper. "This job was specifically requested of you by the _Minister of Education_. Any other job, maybe, you could have turned down, but this one? You are the head of the Sumeragi clan, you have to act in a responsible manner! You cannot just _decline_ a ministerial request!"

"Well, I can and I have," replied Subaru, the irritation of last night flickering into life again. All these people who expected him to do as he was told— "In any case, would it be possible for you to discuss things with me next time a job comes up before accepting on my behalf? It would make sure that this kind of embarrassment doesn't happen again."

There was silence from the other end of the phone. Subaru's pulse drummed in his ears – had he really just said that to his grandmother? He almost couldn't believe it himself. At length Lady Sumeragi spoke again. "Could you put Hokuto-san on, please?"

"Okay." The moment Subaru lowered the phone he let out a long breath. "Obaa-chama wants to speak to you again."

Frowning, Hokuto took the phone back from him. "Yes?" Subaru moved away to the lounge area where he sank heavily into the couch – he had won the argument but still, he couldn't help but question what he had done. "No, Subaru's perfectly fine. No, I didn't know that Subaru'd turned down a job until just then. Investigation request? Well, if it's just an investigation does it have to be an onmyouji? Can't they just get some other – okay, okay, I'll talk to him. I won't promise anything, though, you know what Subaru's like when he sets his mind on something – all right. Okay. Yes, I will. Bye!"

The call ended. Hokuto put the phone back in its cradle, then turned to her brother with eyebrows raised. "Well?" she asked.

"Well what?" asked Subaru nervously.

"What was that about?"

Subaru shrugged as nonchalantly as possible. "Obaa-chan accepted a job from the Education Minister without telling me about it, and when she did tell me about it I gave it some thought and decided that I want to have some time to myself."

"And that's the only reason why you turned it down? Because you wanted some time off?"

Subaru winced; put like that he sounded like a spoiled brat, and he knew how little his sister thought of spoiled brats. "Um, yes?"

Unexpectedly Hokuto's face broke into a wide smile. "I am _so_ proud of you!"

Subaru blinked in surprise. "Y-you're not mad at me?"

"Why would I be? There's nothing wrong with thinking of yourself once in a while, Subaru, especially for you because you're usually so self-sacrificing. Actually, it's kind of refreshing." Hokuto winked. "Just don't tell Obaa-chama I said that to you!"

Weakly Subaru smiled – the bumps and falls this morning on the emotional roller-coaster were coming far too quickly, and he was quite ready to get off. "Thank you, Hokuto-chan."

Hokuto pushed some shopping away to make room and slid onto the couch beside him. "So!" she said. "If you're not working today what are you going to do?"

"Um …" A finger poked Subaru teasingly in the ribs, making him jump before laughing aloud. The laugh felt more natural, different than the shy, nervous one that he was accustomed to. "I want to spend time with my sister."

"Is that so? I'll have to check my schedule—" Subaru made a mournful face and Hokuto giggled. "Of course I'll spend time with you, silly! Do you have anything in mind that you want to do?"

"You choose."

"Shopping?"

"Okay." Subaru met his twin's gaze and held it. "As long as we're together."

Hokuto hugged him.

 

* * *

 

They returned to Hokuto's apartment late in the evening, juggling several grocery bags and what felt to Subaru like half the clothes in Takashimaya. What the bank statement at the end of the month was going to be like he didn't even want to contemplate, but that was easily shunted aside when he considered what he had gotten out of it. He and Hokuto had spent the day in Shinjuku, darting in and out of department stores as Hokuto with her boundless energy brought them to all of her favourite shops – or at least Subaru thought they were all her favourite shops. Everything had blurred together in his memory, but he distinctly remembered thinking at one point that he seemed to be spending far more time in dressing rooms than his sister. Tiring as the day was, though, it had all been fun in that for once Subaru forgot about everything troubling in his life and instead simply enjoyed himself. Sure, Hokuto had dressed him up and teased him outrageously whenever he blushed at the attention the two of them got, but that didn't matter. They had eaten lunch at a little café filled with office-workers on break and later stopped at an ice-cream parlour for a snack, arms laden with so much shopping that Hokuto eventually commandeered a trolley to carry it all. Unfortunately the trolley couldn't come with them beyond the doors of the department store, so instead of carrying all their shopping on the subway they had caught a taxi home. The shopping still had to be carried up into Subaru's apartment, though.

"Oof!" Hokuto dumped her armful of bags on the couch, causing her hat to tumble off her head. "Is that everything?"

Subaru carefully set his own load of shopping bags down on the floor, trying not to trip over anything. "I think so. I lost track of that beige bag, but – did you get it out of the taxi?"

"You mean the D&G one? Right here." Hokuto lifted the bag in question as proof, then, taking off her coat, started sorting out the rest. "Okay, D&G is mine, the Vivienne Westwood is mine, Banana Republic is yours, Yohji is yours, yours, mine, that's yours …"

"Um, Hokuto-chan?" Subaru watched the pile of 'his' bags increase with some alarm. "Just how much did you end up getting for me?"

" _We_ end up getting, you mean. Yours, ooh, Burberry, another one of mine! Yours, yours, mine, yours – done!" Hokuto stood and skipped over to the pile of bags Subaru had brought in where she sat down to continue the exercise. "Yours, yours, mine, yours …"

Subaru left her to it, going to the kitchen where he began to put away the groceries. He felt content, as if the confrontations of the morning had caused something within him to spill out leaving him drained and clear. More telling, he felt no guilt over his day of self-indulgence, and glancing back he couldn't help but smile at the image of his sister, dressed in a sun-yellow dress with high socks and long gloves, happily surrounded by shopping bags without a care in the world. _This is what life should be like,_ he thought wistfully as he went to place the juice in the fridge. _No worries, having fun, shopping, spending time with loved ones …_

"—and finished! We really did get a lot for you!" Hokuto stood and joined him in the kitchen. "Leave the sauces, onions and beef mince out; I'm going to make pasta."

"Okay. Do you want me to help?"

"Sure! Go fill the pot with water first and set it to boil, then get a bowl and mix the beef stock and sauce."

Subaru did as he was told. The water was easy, as was starting up the gas-stove, and the beef stock was simply a matter of cutting a corner off the carton and pouring the liquid out. Getting the sauce, though, was a different matter. His gloves made it well-nigh impossible to open the jar.

"Subaru," sighed Hokuto, watching him struggle. Subaru looked embarrassed, and finally Hokuto peeled her own gloves off, putting them aside before taking the jar from him. With a bit of effort she twisted the lid off then handed the jar back to Subaru to empty into the bowl. "Seriously, when are you going to take those gloves off?"

"You know what Obaa-chan says," replied Subaru absently as he fetched a spoon. There was still a lot of sauce at the bottom of the jar and he needed to scrape it out.

"Given what you did this morning on the phone, I'm surprised that's still your response." Hokuto began chopping the onions. "Put the tomato paste in as well – I mean, is there any _reason_ you have to wear gloves twenty-four/seven other than because Obaa-chama tells you to?"

"I—" Subaru broke off uncomfortably, the question stinging him like an angry wasp – and just like that, his contented mood was no more. Automatically his thoughts catapulted to the memory of that first meeting with the Sakurazukamori, and from there continued on to the Sakura, the Bet, Seishirou – "It's a form of magical protection that Obaa-chan put on me," he said shortly, doing as he had been instructed. _Not that it works._

"Oh. Well, in that case, fine. But still, don't they get irritating?"

"Sometimes." Subaru put the containers and spoon in the sink, his movements restless and distracted. On the wall the clock showed that it was past eight o'clock. "How much food are we making?"

"Mm, I bought quite a bit." Hokuto went to add some herbs to the sauce mix. "Why?"

"Could we …" Subaru sensed his face faintly heating. "Could we invite Seishirou-san?"

Hokuto paused in her food preparation and looked up at him. Her expression was startled, but only for a moment as she broke into a wide grin that did nothing to help Subaru's anxiety. "Well, this _is_ a development! Subaru is actively inviting his sweetheart over for dinner! Of course you can invite Sei-chan – quick, go give him a call!"

Subaru wasn't smiling as he hurried to the phone. For the whole day he had managed to avoid thinking much about the coming future or even Seishirou, but now … he glanced at the fridge and the calendar there, the cosy atmosphere of the room now small and fragile in his eyes, like the light of a tiny lamp in an abandoned room. He wasn't exactly beginning to regret spending the whole day with Hokuto, but retrospectively in the interests of the Bet maybe he should have included Seishirou, or at the very least extended to Seishirou the invitation of joining them. And he had been having such a wonderful day … apprehensively Subaru dialled the number of Seishirou's apartment and listened to the phone ring.

"Is he picking up?" asked Hokuto. She had heated another pot into which she was tipping the beef mince and onions.

"Not yet." Subaru frowned, pressing the phone closer to his ear as the sound of meat being cooked sizzled through the air, harsh and rough. Still the ringing continued. "I don't – wait." He held his breath as the ringing stopped, nervously wondering what he was going to say, only to halt as an answering machine began to play. Deflated, he briefly listened to Seishirou's cheerful voice before hanging up – no point leaving a dinner invitation when that dinner was already almost cooked. "He's not in," said Subaru as if he couldn't quite believe it.

"Oh." There was an audible frown in Hokuto's voice as she poured the sauce mixture over the beef and onions, reducing the frying to a sullen hiss. "That's weird, he's usually at home at this time of night. I wonder where he went."

Subaru didn't reply, instead going to the lounge window where he stared out at the city lights. A strange restlessness had come over him, as if he were suspended in the calm preceding a change in weather. He had wholeheartedly expected that Seishirou would be there when he called – this was the Bet, after all, and as per its rules Seishirou was supposed to be there for him. To have discovered otherwise was more than disappointing, and Subaru wondered at the implications – was Seishirou out to kill someone tonight, or had he simply gone somewhere for dinner? Was he attending to an emergency call or a social call? True, the Sakurazukamori probably didn't have friends, but what about the veterinarian? Was that persona so complete as to have a circle of friends, adult friends, who would have nothing to do with a sixteen-year-old boy? The thought was hurtful to say the least, and Subaru felt a surprising and uncharacteristic stab of anger – he was the Sakurazukamori's prey in this Bet,  _he_ should be having his hunter's full attention, not some animal or socialite or victim—

"Subaru? What's wrong?"

He drew in a shaky breath. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not." Footsteps behind him, and a hand on his shoulder. "Are you upset that Sei-chan wasn't home?"

"A little." Tiredly Subaru turned to face his sister, leaning back against the glass. "A lot. I guess … I just expected him to pick up the phone."

"But it's more than that." Reaching out Hokuto placed a hand against his cheek, eyes dark and serious. "If any other person happened to be out when you called them, you'd simply dismiss it. You wouldn't react like this." Subaru didn't respond, and Hokuto bit her lip. "It's because it's Sei-chan, isn't it. Do you know why?"

It was a stupid question to ask, and yet completely serious. Of course Subaru knew why he reacted strongly to Seishirou, he had known about his feelings for years now – or weeks, depending on how he looked at the time. The knowledge that he loved Seishirou was etched into his heart and he had never questioned it at all, only tried to deny it while knowing in the depths of his soul that it was a fundamental truth of his existence. But certain as he was about it, he had never said anything to Hokuto about his feelings for the man, or to Seishirou himself—

Subaru froze as if his blood had turned to ice.

He had never told Seishirou that he loved him. At all. As a child of sixteen Subaru hadn't understood what he felt until it was too late, then when Hokuto had been murdered he had attempted to suffocate his love beneath the reality of who Seishirou was and what he had done. Somehow, but, it had endured to be carried like some terrible, precious burden he could only bury away so that it was out of sight but never out of mind. So deep had Subaru buried his love that even at the end, on the Final Day with death before him and Seishirou both, he had been unable to speak of it aloud …

"Hokuto-chan," asked Subaru slowly. "What do you think about Seishirou-san and I? Really think, I mean."

If Hokuto was surprised at his question she didn't show it. "I think that he's the best thing that's happened to you. He's kind, supportive, he understands you in ways even I don't—"

"But is that it?" interrupted Subaru. "I mean, things can't be that perfect – don't you have any reservations?"

Hokuto grew quiet, studying his face. "You really have grown up, haven't you," she said at last, a note of wonder in her voice. Briefly she hesitated. "Okay. I'll be honest with you, brother-mine – Sei-chan makes me uneasy. He's always smiling, but whether he's still smiling when you're not looking at him … I don't know. I don't want to say 'dangerous' and yet I can't think of any other word to use. He has the potential to make you happy, but as a flip-side to that he also has the power to hurt you." Subaru didn't reply to this and Hokuto quickly continued. "Then again, isn't that how a relationship works? Look at us; we had a huge fight yesterday and made each other feel absolutely horrible, but we still love each other and when we're together we're happy. That's what a relationship is about. If you're willing to take those risks with Sei-chan … I think you could have something very special."

 _Special …_ "But what if he hurts me so badly that whatever we have isn't worth anything?" Subaru whispered.

Hokuto smiled – why did her eyes look so bright? – and reached to cup his face in her hands. "Then you have to find out whether you're strong enough to put things in the past and keep building a future together, and if you're strong enough to forgive. It won't be easy, but if you did your relationship would be all the richer for it." Subaru didn't answer, eyes downcast – it was all very well for Hokuto to say that but how would she react if she knew exactly what cruelty Seishirou was capable of, that Seishirou had killed her, and could do it again? Could she still tell him to forgive Seishirou?

"Do you love him?" asked Hokuto suddenly.

Subaru glanced up with wide eyes, shocked not so much at what his twin sister had said, but rather that she had said it. His reaction made Hokuto smile, softly and ever so slightly sad, like a solitary flower facing the first falls of snow. "So. How long have you known?"

"I …" Unable to deny it Subaru shyly turned away. "A long time."

"And have you told him?"

Subaru shook his head. "You're the only one who knows anything."

"Well, I'm glad to know I'm the first," said Hokuto lightly. Then her gaze became intent. "So when are you going to tell him?"

Subaru fidgeted uncomfortably. "I … I don't know. I know I should, but … I'm frightened, Hokuto-chan. That if I say anything, he might hurt me."

"That's the risk you have to take." Gently Hokuto brushed the hair out of his eyes, still smiling that happy, strangely sad smile. "But Subaru, you have no idea how glad this makes me. I've always wanted you to find someone, someone you could become truly attached to because … oh Subaru, only saints and angels can love the world. You're neither. You're human, and it's only human to need someone. Even though he worries me, even though he may hurt you, I really believe that Sakurazuka Seishirou can make you happy. If you ran away from him … I think you would regret it for the rest of your life."

Silence followed Hokuto's speech. Subaru stared at her, standing very still, hardly even breathing. He had always known that Hokuto supported his relationship with Seishirou, but to know that she still supported and encouraged it even when her intuition told her that Seishirou was not all he seemed … the fear within him was beginning to loosen its grip somewhat, not so much that it released him, but enough to no longer be stifling. Subaru let out a long breath. "Thank you, Nee-chan."

Hokuto smiled, and, leaning forward, stood on tip-toe to kiss his forehead. Subaru closed his eyes, suddenly tired – it had been a very long day – and strangely enough, relieved, as if something within him had fallen into place at last. By admitting the truth of his heart to his twin, and knowing that she knew, it was as if he had somehow made his love for Seishirou more real. Certainly it gave him more courage, because now that Hokuto knew it was only a matter of time before Seishirou himself would have to know, a thought which filled him with deep trepidation …

"Come on." Taking his hand Hokuto gently pulled him back to the kitchen, and Subaru silently thanked her for her tact. "The sauce has been simmering long enough and you can deal with this later. Let's go eat."

 

* * *

 

Subaru stayed at Hokuto's apartment that night, the two of them curled in her bed where they whispered about little things from their childhood until they fell asleep. It had been a long time since the twins had stayed together, and Subaru hadn't realised how much he had missed it until then. He woke the next morning refreshed and restless, something which Hokuto picked up on immediately, but given that it was a school day she had little time to talk. Subaru had made them both breakfast as she rushed around getting herself ready and picking out his clothes, pausing only to eat breakfast standing up before dashing for her shoes. Only in the brief moment between opening the door and stepping outside did she manage to say anything relating to the previous night, and even then it was kept short.

"Go see Sei-chan, okay?"

Short, simple, and straight to the point. Subaru had blushed a little but otherwise kept enough composure to give his sister a smile before kissing her goodbye. The apartment felt very empty once she was gone. Subaru finished his breakfast in silence then busied himself with cleaning the dishes. Somehow cleaning the dishes turned into cleaning the kitchen, and cleaning the kitchen to cleaning the whole apartment taking care of all the chores that needed to be done in a sudden drive of restless productivity. It felt decidedly weird to have a whole day without any commitments. Hokuto had asked if he was considering going back to school, but on that subject at least Subaru was firm: after all this time there was no point and besides, he already had a job. Part of him was worried about what his grandmother was going to say next time they spoke, but given that he was the clan Head he was fairly confident the fuss about the declined commission would blow over eventually. Until then his time was his own. He finished cleaning Hokuto's apartment to his satisfaction a little past noon, by which time he was ravenous. Rather than making something to eat and spoiling the newly cleaned kitchen, though, Subaru decided to go out to a small teahouse he and Hokuto often frequented a few blocks away. At this hour of the day it was busy with workers on lunch-break and students just let out of their half-day of classes; Subaru had to wait in line at least ten minutes before being served. Once he had his food, the press of people and fine weather convinced him to take his lunch to Toyama Park where he could watch clouds glide above the high-rises. It was only when he was giving the remainder of his rice to the birds that he finally admitted to himself that he was procrastinating.

 _I suppose I should go and see Seishirou-san,_ thought Subaru uneasily, staring at the birds pecking happily about his feet. A glance at his watch showed that it was almost one thirty, meaning that Seishirou would probably be on his lunch-break. If Subaru walked fast enough back to Kabuki-cho he could get to the clinic just before two, which would give Subaru only a few minutes to talk to Seishirou. Somehow during that time Subaru would have to tell the Sakurazukamori … what he had admitted to Hokuto last night. To say that Subaru was apprehensive was more than a severe understatement; as a descriptive it didn't even come close.

Subaru hunched over himself, wrapping his arms around his gut as if to physically hold back the butterflies in his stomach. Admitting his feelings to Hokuto was one thing, to actually confess them to the person for whom he felt those feelings … that was frightening. At the very least Subaru would be embarrassed half to death; at the worst Seishirou would probably reject him, and this wasn't even considering the danger of giving the Sakurazukamori another weapon to use against him. Though then again, perhaps Subaru didn't have to worry about that last so much – they were still living under the terms of the Bet after all, so the Sakurazukamori was bound by word not to harm Subaru. But what did that mean? That if Subaru confessed Seishirou wouldn't turn him down? That Seishirou might profess to love Subaru as well? He had already done so on several occasions, all of which Subaru had bitterly dismissed as lies—

There lay the paradox. If Seishirou claimed to return Subaru's feelings, he would be lying. If Seishirou said that he did not, it would devastate Subaru but be the truth. Either way Seishirou could not give any answer that would make him happy, so why should Subaru even bother telling Seishirou what he felt? Perhaps he should just say nothing … Subaru's gloved fingers tightened. No, he couldn't stay silent. Hokuto already knew, and Subaru wouldn't put it past his sister to march him to Seishirou's apartment in the middle of the night if she thought he was avoiding the issue. But more important than was the guilt that last time, on the Final Day, Seishirou had died without ever knowing what Subaru felt for him.

Subaru didn't want things to end like that again.

Taking a deep breath, Subaru stood up. Immediately the birds around his feet scattered, either to nearby trees or a few feet away on the ground. Subaru resisted an impulse to apologise to them as threw the empty plastic box in a nearby bin and started walking. His pulse was already racing, he realised with some dismay; if simply making the decision to tell Seishirou could make him nervous, what state would he be in when he was actually facing the man?

 _Best not to think about it,_ he told himself. _Just focus on getting there first before you lose your nerve entirely._

It was a cold day, and bright. Subaru lifted his gloved hands to shield his eyes from the sun's glare before his path took him through a more shaded route walled on each side by hedges. It was not a shortcut he used often, but if he remembered correctly it should bring him out near a bus stop. From the bus stop it was a short ride or a longer walk to Seishirou's veterinary clinic … Subaru took a deep breath in a futile attempt to calm himself, hoping he could get there before the end of lunch break as he almost forced himself to walk in that direction. So focused on his journey was he that Subaru didn't notice the girl shoving her way through the hedge until he had walked into her, sending the girl flying.

"Oh – I'm so sorry!" Mortified, Subaru knelt down to help the girl up – a student, by the looks of the uniform. Two heavy braids framed a sullen face, a face that was bruised and bloodied in a way that was too serious to have been inflicted by a mere fall, and Subaru's eyes widened. "Are you all right?"

The girl recoiled from him like a terrified animal. "Leave me alone!"

"But you're bleeding!" Subaru reached out to her. "Are you—"

" _I said leave me alone!_ "

The girl lashed out wildly. Without thinking Subaru blocked the blow and grabbed her wrist. The sudden restraint seemed to frighten the girl more and she struggled against him with violent sobs. Realising his mistake, Subaru let her go and she fell down again, covering her head with her arms as if she expected to be hit. Subaru bit his lip.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." Moving slowly, he knelt down beside her and pulled his handkerchief out from his coat pocket. "I'm not going to hurt you; I'm a friend. Here."

He offered her the handkerchief. The girl blinked at it with a mixture of suspicion and disbelief. Subaru smiled. "Don't worry, it's clean." The girl stared at him, but didn't move and Subaru tried again. "I haven't used it – I mean, my sister only bought it yesterday, so it's brand new …" He trailed off as the girl's lower lip began to tremble. "Um, did I say something wrong?"

The girl shook her head, fat tears rolling down her cheeks. "N-no," she mumbled. "It's just … I haven't heard nice things for a while."

The pain behind the words was obvious and impossible for Subaru to ignore. Forgetting about his own affairs for a moment, he fetched her school bag then carefully put an arm around her shoulders, comforting and supportive. The girl flinched at the initial contact but otherwise let Subaru ease her to her feet. Putting the handkerchief in her hand, Subaru helped her off the path, looking for somewhere to sit; seeing a set of swings close by he guided her there. She sat down heavily, wobbling a bit in the swing's seat before steadying herself and dragging the handkerchief over her face. Subaru put her schoolbag beside her and took the other swing, waiting until she had mostly calmed down before hesitantly speaking. "Would you like to talk about it?"

The girl sniffled. "Why do you want to know? It's none of your business."

Subaru studied her. She was young, probably in high school, which, judging by her blazer looked to be a private institution in a nearby district. The way she hunched over and her automatic suspicion of everything reminded Subaru of a dog he had seen once at Seishirou's clinic that had been abused by its owner and couldn't understand kindness. She also looked somewhat familiar. "You look like you need a friend," he said softly. _Have I met her before?_

The girl glanced up at him, shock obvious on her bruised face. Subaru gave her a smile. "My name is Sumeragi Subaru. What's yours?"

"… Hashimoto Kuniko."

That definitely sounded familiar. Unfortunately for Subaru the context wasn't coming to him. "Are you in high school, Hashimoto-san?"

"Second year." She nervously twisted the handkerchief between her fingers. "It's a private girls' school a little way from here. It's … not a nice place."

The implication was obvious. "People bully you?"

"'Bully' is a nice word for what gets done to me." Hashimoto's voice trembled. "It's pure _torture_. I get kicked and punched and beaten up by this group of girls from class who do it simply because it's _fun_. Adults think it's just a bunch of kids fighting, but it's not, it's gang violence and it's happening to me _every day!_ I've tried telling the teachers, but they all tell me the same thing – either I'm not outgoing enough, or I'm somehow responsible for it. But even if I'm not outgoing, why should I suffer for it? How is it _my_ fault that I get beaten up by my own classmates?"

Pain, frustration, anger – all of it and more spilled out with Hashimoto's words, the sheer weight of the onslaught giving Subaru just some idea of how long she had endured in silence. He felt a wave of sympathy for her, but as well as that was the eerie sense of déjà vu that he had something to do with this girl … the memory of a hospital corridor struck him then, but the details skittered away like windblown leaves. It frustrated Subaru immensely. Beside him Hashimoto roughly wiped her eyes. "I joined this group recently. The lady who's in charge said they could save me from my problems. She said that the reason I was being bullied was because I didn't understand myself. That all I needed to do was love and believe in myself, because if I didn't there was no way that I could ever understand other people. She said that I should bear the pain and pray with all my heart for salvation, so I did. I even went to the MS Institute to study—"

"MS Institute?" Subaru stared at her, a chill spider-walking down his back. _That's the name of the case I turned down – oh no._

Hashimoto frowned at him. "You know it?"

"Um," Subaru floundered for an excuse. "I read about it somewhere."

"Oh. Well, I don't know what to think of it yet." Wearily, Hashimoto hung her head, swaying a little in the swing. "I pray every day, I go to the Institute, but nothing's changed. I still get teased at school, I still get beaten up. Just then the girls were kicking me behind the bushes, saying that school's no fun now that I skip class to hide at the Institute."

 _The problem with the religious group in question here is that it is comprised almost entirely of junior and high school students. This case is a personal request from the Minister of Education._ The words of his grandmother and the aide echoed in Subaru's head as fact mixed with hazy memory in a growing sense of dread. The government obviously thought the MS Institute suspicious enough to request Subaru to investigate, but more than that, Subaru was certain that the first time he had lived this life the MS Institute had been shut down. Unfortunately his memory was scarce on the specifics, but if last time the Institute had been shut down after his investigation, then logically he must have found something serious enough to justify its forced closure. Something serious that Hashimoto was now, in this second time, caught up in again.

"I'm not sure if what Kumiko-sensei tells me is going to work, but I don't know what else to do, and she's so nice and helpful …"

Subaru stifled an internal moan; already he could see where his thoughts were tending, however, part of him tried to resist. _The end of the Bet is approaching and I need to prepare for that. I turned down the case to change what happened during the Bet last time. I've made my decision and I will hold to it …_

 

_"You are the head of the Sumeragi clan; you have to act in a responsible manner!"_

 

It had been so easy to say no when the case had just been words on a page instead of people's lives.

Hashimoto stopped talking, whether running out of words or energy it was hard to say. Subaru watched her for a moment, wanting to help but still hoping for a way not to get involved. "When did you join the MS Institute?" he asked. _I'll just see what the situation is,_ he told himself. _If it's something minor then I can leave it alone._

"Just a few days ago."

"Do you know how many people it has?"

"Not sure. The meetings I went to had probably over fifty people, but I remember someone telling me that there were ten thousand members around the country."

"Ten _thousand?_ " Subaru felt his heart sinking – so much for his hope that the MS Institute was something small. Ten thousand people, most of them school students, and if Hashimoto was any example, they were likely to be vulnerable and desperate for whatever support the MS Institute was offering. "When did the MS Institute start operating?"

Hashimoto looked at him, eyes suddenly suspicious. "I dunno."

"Do you have to pay or give them anything?"

"I don't – why are you asking me all these questions?"

"I—" Subaru faltered. "I'm just interested."

"Well, go join up yourself if you're so interested instead of interrogating me." Abruptly Hashimoto stood up, the swing's chains clanking together like dull bells. "I have to go. Thanks for your help." Quickly she grabbed her bag and began to hurry away. Subaru followed, not before kicking himself for pushing too hard.

"Wait – Hashimoto-san, I didn't mean – wait!" He managed to get in front of her, making her stop. Fear was evident on her face as she attempted to glare at him – did she expect to be hit? Just how long had this girl been abused to have such a deep mistrust of the world? "I'm sorry, Hashimoto-san. I shouldn't have acted so insensitively, and if I have hurt or insulted you, I ask for your forgiveness. It's just that—" Subaru caught himself.

Hashimoto's eyes narrowed. "Just what?"

She was so young, so desperate for someone to turn to, and given that she seemed to have found that someone in the form of the MS Institute, Subaru didn't know if he dared question what she faith she had invested in them yet, especially when he didn't have any proof to support his misgivings. On the other hand, although she was badly damaged she was not completely broken, so maybe, just maybe there was a chance … "It's just that I think you're not giving yourself enough credit," he said carefully. "This MS Institute, it might not be everything you hope it is. You might not need it because to survive as long as you have … I think you're stronger than you think."

The effect was immediate. Hashimoto gawked at him, brown eyes widening at what was probably the first compliment she had heard in heavens knew how long, as if she didn't know what to do with it. Almost hesitantly, she smiled.

"Th-thank you."

Subaru wished he could smile in return. Gratifying as it was to see a happier expression instead of sullen fear on Hashimoto's face, Subaru knew that it was now impossible for him to walk away from her. Still, he couldn't help but wonder if he had given into Hashimoto's plight a little too easily.

Hashimoto glanced at her watch. "Ah! It's quarter past two – I'm late for cram class!" Quickly she hefted her bag and gave Subaru a little bow. "Thank you so much for your kindness. Um, do you come to this park often?"

"Not really – I was just passing through."

"Oh." Hashimoto looked disappointed. "Well, uh, I hope you come back, because it'll be nice to see you again." She ducked her head, a faint blush on her bruised cheeks. "I … I should be going. Bye."

Subaru watched her leave, watched how with every step away from him her shoulders unconsciously hunched lower as if she was being laden with bags of sand. On impulse he called out to her.

"I wish you well!"

Hashimoto stopped and turned slightly to look at him. At this distance Subaru couldn't really see the bruises on her face, giving Hashimoto the illusion of being like any other schoolgirl on her way to class. Unexpectedly she waved at him, then, before Subaru could respond, began to run. Soon she had turned a corner and disappeared.

Subaru stared after her. Quarter past two. Lunch break was already over, meaning that Seishirou would be back at work by the time Subaru got to the clinic. Too late in the day, Subaru told himself, it wasn't polite to disturb people when they were busy, and besides, Subaru now had his own work to take care of … his fingers tightened. Once again Subaru was being wrenched back onto the same track as the last time this life had been lived, but strangely instead of frustration all he felt was resignation. After seeing the situation first-hand how could he have decided otherwise? Besides, at least investigating a suspicious religious group was easier than seeing Seishirou right now …

The wind was cold. Slowly, Subaru began to walk in the direction of home, trying to tell himself that he wasn't running away.

It didn't work.

 

* * *

 

"Welcome back!" Hokuto greeted Subaru as he closed the door behind him. She was wearing a frilly apron over an outfit that Subaru vaguely remembered as something they had bought yesterday, and Subaru could hear the stove fan whirring – obviously his sister was cooking. As Subaru headed for a kitchen stool Hokuto gave him a Look. "Well?" she demanded. "Did you see him?"

The expectant smile Hokuto was wearing did nothing to make Subaru feel better. "Um …"

"You _didn't?_ " Putting down the ladle she was holding, Hokuto came around the kitchen bench to face her brother more directly. "Why not?"

"Something happened when I was on my way to the clinic." Quickly Subaru outlined his meeting with Hashimoto and his fears about the MS Institute in what he hoped was brief a manner as possible. He had had ample time on his walk back home to berate himself – part of him was angry, angry at Hashimoto for successfully diverting him from his own goal but more so at himself for giving in so easily. Why couldn't he be more like Seishirou who, when he had decided on doing something, simply _did_ it without being led off on tangents? "I know I already told Obaa-chan and the client I wouldn't take the job, but that's fine, I can call and tell them otherwise. And I know I said I wanted a break, but this girl – Hokuto-chan, she's so vulnerable, and if the MS Institute is what I think it is she's going to get into serious trouble—"

"Subaru." Hokuto took his face in her hands and made him look at her. "You don't need to explain or apologise for anything to me. It's you, and I wouldn't expect you to act any other way. If you didn't feel a need to help people, you wouldn't be my brother. So you're going to take up the job after all, okay. But how come you didn't go see Sei-chan afterwards?"

"Ah …" Subaru winced. "I lost my nerve."

"You _what_ – no, don't explain, I understand." Hokuto sighed, then gave him a wry, knowing smile. "Confessing to Sei-chan is more terrifying than bad spirits or dodgy cults, huh? All right; I'll let you off this once. But you had better do something about Sei-chan soon, at the latest after this case is finished, because if you don't—"

"You'll be forced to take action?"

"Exactly!" Hokuto beamed then headed back to the kitchen. "I'm making jelly-cups; you can have one in a couple of hours after they set. About that case – are you going call Obaa-chama or shall I?"

"I'll do it." Taking a deep breath Subaru went to pick up the cordless. "At least she can't glare at me over the phone."


	10. Annex III - Hunter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He couldn't put his finger on it, but Seishirou had the uneasy feeling that there was more to this than Subaru, that there was something subtly but direly out of place as if he had come home one day and sensed even before seeing the physical evidence of the open window that someone had been inside.

The night sky was blank, the stars drowned out by the harsh, multicoloured legions of lights below that made up the Tokyo metropolis. The lights were especially bright in Shinjuku, where illuminated sculptures decorated sidewalks and neon advertisements wrestled for attention in the shadow of the high-rises. Dizzying and delirious, it was a cacophony of illumination that made the black spaces all the darker, and for those who wished to pass unnoticed, perfect.

Seishirou took a drag on the last of his cigarette, eyes half-closed behind his glasses. He stood ten stories above the ground on the roof of a building not far from Shinjuku station, sheltered from the brunt of the wind by the huge Sony projection screen at his back. At this height the street below was a stream of orange and white, broken up at intervals to let shadowy crowds move from one side to the other, but Seishirou's attention was elsewhere. He was watching, silent and patient, through the eyes of his shikigami as it trailed one particular woman walking purposefully through Toyama Park. From his elevated position he followed her, followed her as she went to the swings to speak to a young girl crying there, to the chauffeured car that the woman invited the girl into, all the way into Shinjuku where the woman and girl were driven to an office building several blocks from where Seishirou stood. As the woman and girl passed through the doors Seishirou willed the spirit-bird to shift course, sending it upwards to perch outside the lighted window of a third floor meeting room – this was not the first night he had spent observing the woman, and he knew exactly where she was going. Soon the woman entered the room, still leading the girl, and the two of them approached several people kneeling quietly in the room's centre. The woman acknowledged their respectful greetings with a nod then knelt down with them, smiling and gesturing for the young girl to join them. After a moment's hesitation, the girl did.

There was nothing more to see. Seishirou opened his eyes and at the same time his shikigami took flight. Seishirou let it take its own path, idly dropping the cigarette butt and removing his glasses as he pondered over what he had just seen. Tonight was the third time in as many nights that he had witnessed the woman (her name was Kumiko Nagi, not that it mattered much) actively seek out a person and bring them back to her organisation. Other than that, but, her daily routine was regular enough, hours divided between work and home. The only possible deviation was if the woman went on a business trip to visit one of her organisation's chapters around the country, but she didn't have one scheduled in the immediate future as far as Seishirou knew. Still, it would be prudent to complete this job soon, just in case. The only thing to decide now was whether Seishirou should strike the woman at home or her place of work.

Wings sounding above his head heralded the return of his shikigami. It settled gracefully onto Seishirou's shoulder, talons digging through thick cloth into his skin like the tips of cold knives for a moment before it was dismissed to disappear. The prickling in his skin lingered a little longer – those talons were deadly weapons, though more so in the spiritual world than the material. Rending flesh was one thing; rending a spirit or a soul was another, and usually far more destructive. Admittedly there was that anomalous occasion when Seishirou had unleashed his shikigami to force a dreaming girl to heal, but that was more to ensure that Subaru wasn't damaged than anything else.

_Subaru-kun._

Almost imperceptibly Seishirou's fingers tightened on his glasses. One name, one offhand thought, and yet now that he had touched it the thought lingered and expanded, like a spray of evening perfume. It seemed to be something of a common occurrence nowadays, especially given Subaru's behaviour of late which could be best described as … uncharacteristic. Back-chat to his sister, asserting himself when being teased, displaying bouts of moodiness, what had happened to the sweet, naïve boy Seishirou was so familiar with? Seishirou had suggested to Hokuto that maybe it was just because Subaru was growing up ( _about time_ , whispered a corner of Seishirou's mind), but surely the angelic Sumeragi clan-head, who would never let an expletive pass his lips, wouldn't be so rebellious as to take up smoking. True, there were some onmyoujitsu spells that required fire which could explain the presence of the lighter Seishirou had found in Subaru's coat pocket, but then why when Seishirou smoked in Subaru's presence the cigarette smell didn't make Subaru cough as it usually did? And then there was Subaru's self-image in that girl's coma dream …

 

_"Thank you."_

_"What for?"_

_"You waited for me."_

 

Taller and older. The stark, almost austere clothes. Ebony-black hair cut short. One eye flat white, the other a strangely enigmatic emerald green. Although the glimpse had lasted for the briefest moment it had lodged itself into Seishirou's memory like a bullet. Since then he had turned the picture over and over almost obsessively in his mind – why would Subaru project his consciousness in that form? was that what Subaru would look like when he grew older? – trying to find an explanation without success. So far the only logical reason he had come up with was that Subaru's self-image had been a quirk of the Dreamscape they had been invading, but it felt hollow and weak, especially when Seishirou had the nagging feeling that he had seen that image of Subaru before …

Seishirou half-snarled. It wasn't like him to forget things, especially things pertaining to Subaru, and the fact that he had forgotten in the first place was even more worrying than the missing piece itself. He couldn't put his finger on it, but Seishirou had the uneasy feeling that there was more to this than Subaru, that there was something subtly but direly out of place as if he had come home one day and sensed even before seeing the physical evidence of the open window that someone had been inside. The frustration was beginning to affect Seishirou's sleeping patterns; recently he was finding that his slumber was being disturbed by – well, he wouldn't exactly call them dreams, the Sakurazukamori didn't dream, but fragments, yes, fragmented images of fire and cloth and something that made Seishirou think of a wind blowing through an abandoned house. They were never long or numerous enough for him to put together and the more he tried to do so the more fitfully he slept, and the more fitfully he slept the more irritable he was the next day. He had been doing a rather impressive job of keeping it under control, but, although his assistant at the clinic had commented on how the number of animals that died on his operating table had increased in recent weeks. Seishirou wondered what Subaru would say if he knew that the kind veterinarian who so often professed love was deliberately killing his patients.

 _Subaru_ … The last time Seishirou had seen Subaru was when, yesterday? It felt like longer, probably because they seemed to be seeing so little of each other lately, to the point that Seishirou had begun to wonder if he had done something wrong that night Subaru had come to him dripping wet and depressed. Obviously he hadn't if Subaru had visited him on his own initiative, and that afternoon in the clinic had been highly interesting. On one hand Subaru could watch Seishirou deliver a fatal injection with near complete detachment; on the other Subaru still shied away from the advances Seishirou made. Those advances had been deliberately calculated, of course, and Subaru probably didn't know how fortunate it was that they had been interrupted as Seishirou had been quite prepared to force the issue if required. Oh, he probably would have stopped if Subaru had resisted, but on the flip-side if Subaru had submitted Seishirou would have had no compunctions in taking things to the obvious conclusion – the boy was very attractive, after all. In any case, whatever the outcome, at least an overt seduction attempt would have forced a response from Subaru that could give Seishirou more information to work with. Right now trying to figure out the Sumeragi was like trying to solve a thousand-piece puzzle with a hundred pieces missing, and with the end of the Bet tumbling ever closer Seishirou was beginning to grow rather impatient with his lack of progress. Even the Sakurazukamori had his limits, and if those limits were ever reached or crossed … well, suffice to say the consequences would not be healthy for anyone, least of all Subaru.

 _Especially_ Subaru.

Sirens on the night air. Seishirou glanced up a little; there was an ambulance speeding down the street. Yet another eventful night in Tokyo … he checked his watch as the sirens modulated down, and was rather surprised to find it past eight o'clock. High time to start heading home, and long past his usual hour for dinner. He had some left-over curry in the fridge, perhaps he would heat that up and cook some rice and vegetables. Or perhaps he would just stop somewhere on the way back – yes, that sounded better. After being out the whole day he didn't particularly feel like preparing food, and he was finding it so troublesome to cook just for one person nowadays. He'd eat out, then when he returned home he could indulge in a hot bath, perhaps read a little, and go to bed early where perhaps for once he would have a decent night's rest instead of worrying about—

 

— _a blackened and bleeding sky, a question, a hollowness like hunger or maybe r_ —

 

That decided it. Putting shapeless apprehensions out of mind with a determination that was almost vicious, Seishirou stepped off the platform and crossed the roof to climb onto the building's edge, balancing easily despite the buffeting wind. For a moment the Sakurazukamori stood there, watching the figures of people far below pass from light to light too wrapped up in themselves to look above their heads and imagine what lurked in the shadows. Then he leapt determinedly upwards, cloaked himself in illusion, and disappeared into the night.


	11. Save B

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "In other words, this Kumiko-sensei is exerting a strong influence over a lot of very vulnerable people. If her group really is a cult rather than a benign religious group and keeps gathering more members she could become a very powerful figure in society."

Subaru squinted past the late afternoon sun up at the sign on the side of the building. According to the information he had been given the MS Institute was headquartered in the lower end of Shinjuku, and whilst he was fairly certain he was standing outside the right place it didn't hurt to check. Sure enough, the sign said that the MS Institute was on the third floor. Subaru glanced at the corresponding windows; from the outside it looked like a tutoring school. Of course, appearances could be deceiving.

Steeling himself, Subaru entered the building and went to press the call button for the elevator. It came quickly, opening its doors for Subaru with a ping, and he stepped inside pressing for level three. The brief moments as the elevator rose gave Subaru just enough time to collect his thoughts. Things had been rather awkward yesterday afternoon, calling up his grandmother to inform her of his change of heart, then calling up the Education Ministry to apologise and explain before calling Lady Sumeragi once more to keep her abreast of what was going on. Subaru hoped that he hadn't given the Minister of Education the impression that the Sumeragi were unreliable, though at least his grandmother hadn't told him off too badly. If nothing else, it gave Subaru added incentive to do this job well. Incentive was definitely something he needed right now, given that he couldn't shake the feeling that maybe he was using this case an excuse to avoid more personal issues—

_Stop thinking about it. You're here, so just get this done quickly._

The elevator doors slid open. Subaru stepped out and had just enough time to take in the bright office surroundings before he was confronted by a smiling receptionist. "Hello!" she said. "Can I help you?"

"Um, yeah." Subaru approached the receptionist's desk, hoping he didn't look suspicious. That was the problem with this kind of undercover job; he always felt that people were examining him. This morning Hokuto had dressed him in a manner more toned down than her usual wont so that he looked the part of an ordinary high school student, albeit a rather fashionable one. "Ah, I'm here about joining the MS Institute?"

"Why of course! Come with me." The receptionist got up and led him to a door on which she knocked before opening. "Asaoga-sensei! This young man wishes to join up!"

Subaru followed her inside. There was another woman in the room, older with short-cropped black hair and large round earrings. She had apparently been reading at her desk but she put the text away to welcome Subaru with a friendly smile. "Good morning. I'm Asaoga Himawari, an assistant director in the Institute. And you are?"

"My name is Sumeragi Subaru."

"What a lovely name! Please, take a seat." Subaru complied, at the same time casting his eyes about wondering if there would be anything here that could help him. Earlier when he had tried to remember the MS Institute case he had found out to his irritation that he couldn't remember much at all other than Hashimoto. He vaguely recalled the people involved, or at least he thought he did, and a couple of incidents like an assembly, but there was always a point where his memory arrived at a complete blank – this Asaoga, for example, Subaru couldn't recall her at all – and he couldn't for the life of him remember what he had found that resulted in the Institute being shut down. It was frustrating to say the least, and so far nothing was jogging his memory. For an alleged cult the office was disappointingly normal, spacious enough for two or three workers, with a bookshelf beside the door. Subaru attempted to read the titles there but only managed to identify a Japanese-English dictionary before Asaoga sat down to face him. "So!" she said cheerfully, "you want to join the Institute, yes? May I ask how you heard about us?"

Subaru tried to think of an excuse. The shelf's contents provided inspiration. "I read about it in a magazine somewhere."

"Is that so! We have been doing some magazine interviews lately so I'm glad to see something has come of them. And how old are you?"

"I'm sixteen."

"A high-school student, then." Asaoga leaned towards him slightly, the smile still affixed to her lips. "And why exactly did you decide to join us?"

Subaru thought carefully. Asaoga seemed friendly, and probably was a very nice person, but the way she put the question reminded Subaru a little of the soft interrogation tactics he had seen policemen use. "I have … various issues to deal with in my life at the moment," he said, hoping that Asaoga wouldn't inquire any further and force him to make up a less vague response. "I thought that this place would help me."

"I see." She relaxed into her seat, taking on the attitude of one presenting a prepared spiel. "Well, the fact that you have sought us out is already the first step. Children are vulnerable individuals and need to be nurtured to believe in themselves. Here we strive to help through cleansing of the soul and to guide members through the troubles of their lives. Since our members are predominantly students, we also provide an environment in which they can study in addition to counselling, so feel free to bring your books and school homework along."

"It sounds wonderful," murmured Subaru, more to be polite than anything else.

Asaoga beamed. "Now then!" She got up and went to her desk, coming back with some forms. "It's just procedure," she explained as she handed the forms and a pen to Subaru. "Once you've filled those in you will be a member, it's as easy as that!" Subaru looked over the forms. The details they asked for were standard enough – name, age, contact details, nothing out of the ordinary. He filled the spaces quickly and handed the papers back to Asaoga. "Great! Welcome to the MS Institute."

She extended her hand to him. Subaru got up and shook it – she really did seem like a nice lady. "Now, today's 'class' will be starting soon, in fact people should already be arriving. We'd love it if you join us."

"Uh, okay."

Asaoga smiled and opened the door, gesturing for Subaru to leave before her. Outside, the corridor was full of people exiting the elevator and heading towards a large door at the far end. All of them were in uniforms from various high schools both public and private, and didn't spare Subaru a glance. "Just follow the other students down to the assembly room," said Asaoga reassuringly. "We're all friends here, all striving towards the same goal. You'll fit right in!"

 _I doubt that_ , thought Subaru as he allowed himself to be gently propelled into the milling flow of people. The students all seemed so young to him; it was almost easy to forget that physically he looked no older than them. They walked quietly and in an orderly manner, without the usual chatter or tomfoolery that Subaru expected from students. Most likely it was because everyone was from different schools and therefore didn't know each other, but for some reason Subaru felt that there was more to it than that. Then he saw a face coming towards him that he recognised.

"Hashimoto-san!"

Hashimoto Kuniko stopped dead in her tracks and stared as if she couldn't believe her eyes. "Sumeragi-kun? What are you doing here?"

"I just enrolled." Politely Subaru made his way through the flow of people to her side. "How are your injuries?"

Hashimoto flushed slightly. The bruises on her face had darkened into angry violet. "I'm fine. Why did you join the Institute? I thought you—"

"Keep moving please, we'll be starting soon!" Asaoga came down the corridor bringing up the stragglers. She paused when she saw Hashimoto and Subaru standing together. "Oh? Kuniko-chan, do you know Subaru-kun?"

"We've met."

"Well, that's a bit of luck for Subaru-kun – you were worried about not knowing anyone here, weren't you!" Asaoga beamed and Subaru saw no need to correct her assumption. "You probably want to catch up, of course, but I'm afraid that will have to wait for now. Go in and sit down – Kumiko-sensei is on her way."

 _Kumiko-sensei. Kumiko Nagi, top level director of the MS Institute._ Subaru ran the information from the case-file over in his head as he entered the assembly room behind Hashimoto, who kept turning to look over her shoulder at him as if still unable to believe he was there. They sat down beside each other, and watching the rest of the seats steadily fill around him Subaru couldn't help but feel a rush of anticipation – this was it, he was inside, and now he would come face to face with whatever agenda this alleged cult leader had. The assembly room itself was much larger than Subaru had suspected from the building's façade, filled with long desks like a lecture hall and taking up two floors, which implied that the Institute's financial means were quite substantial. Where that money was coming from, though, Subaru had no idea. He hadn't been required to pay a membership fee on signing up, and almost everyone in the room was a high school student. None of them were likely to be able to contribute much money.

A door opened at the front end of the room. Through it entered a woman, conservatively dressed in a cream-coloured office suit, who headed for the single lectern that stood facing the desks. As she did so all the students rose as one and bowed – Subaru quickly copied them. When he lifted his head, the woman before them smiled softly. It was a very friendly smile.

"Good evening, everybody. I am Kumiko Nagi."

Subaru looked the woman over. She was somewhat taller than average height but not imposing, attractive to look at, and seemed to be at the most in her early thirties. She had long chestnut hair that was loosely pinned up at her neck, and from what Subaru could tell, wore very little makeup. Her eyes were gentle, and looked as if they smiled easily. All in all, she didn't look anything like Subaru's idea of a religious cult leader; in fact he could have easily taken her for a music teacher or secretary. "Good evening, Kumiko-sensei," the children around him chorused.

Kumiko Nagi nodded at them, and obediently all the students sat back down. She let her smile rest on them for a moment, then began to speak.

"To all our new members attending today, I bid you a warm welcome. To all those friends who have gathered here once more, I thank you. To everyone, I give my blessing and pray for your spirits to be cleansed so that God can come into your hearts …"

Subaru's eyes widened. Although Kumiko Nagi did not raise her voice, eschewing even the use of a microphone, her voice reached Subaru as if she was sitting immediately before him and they were the only people in the room. More than that, though, was a _feeling_ behind those words, a gentle but insistent pressure that ran over Subaru like cool wind off a mountain. He found himself wanting to listen to her, not just with his ears but his heart. With his training as an onmyouji it was easy enough for Subaru to ignore the pressure, but as for the other people around him … he stole a look around. All of them were listening with expressions of intense focus bordering on ecstasy. All except one, that is. Sitting next to Subaru, Hashimoto simply listened.

"God lives inside each and every one of you. All of you are able to survive the sufferings and hardships of each day because God is there in the most intimate places of your heart. If you let him show you the strength to continue and grow each day …"

 _Kumiko-sensei has a real power, not power like mine or Seishirou-san's, but power all the same._ Subaru stared at the patterns in the desk's wooden surface before him, forcing his mind to concentrate on its lines away from Kumiko Nagi's speech. Still, however, he could feel her charisma flowing over him. _Her power moves people, makes people listen to what she says without question, though interestingly enough Hashimoto-san doesn't seem to be affected. Is it because she's a new member or something else?_

_Whatever it is, I'm getting an idea why the MS Institute is under investigation …_

"There is no such thing as a person who is unwanted." Kumiko Nagi's voice had taken on a strident tone, and despite himself Subaru looked up. "Each and every one of you is a god. Each and every one of you is the most important person in the world." Like a benevolent queen Kumiko Nagi spread her arms wide as if to welcome all the lost souls of the world. "Please, I urge you all to forgive yourselves, and everyone around you. All of you must learn to be strong."

Whether that moment was simply a pause or signalled the end of the speech Subaru never found out. Suddenly all around him students were on their feet, their faces no longer closed and blank but grateful, filled with rapture. Some of them even had tears in their eyes. Cries of "Kumiko-sensei!" resounded throughout the room over the thunder of rapid footsteps as students left their seats and rushed down to the front of the room in stark contrast to their almost subdued entry earlier. They surrounded Kumiko Nagi in a press of uniformed bodies, trying to touch her or take her hand in a way Subaru had only seen on television with music idols. Kumiko Nagi welcomed them all.

"Don't give up!" she told them, her voice clearly audible through the crowd. "No matter how bad things get, _don't_ give up because God is inside each and every one of you. Once you realise that you can accomplish anything!"

Quietly, Subaru remained in his seat, trying to analyse what he had seen. Although the content of Kumiko Nagi's speech didn't seem particularly incendiary or controversial, the level of emotion she had managed to stir up in her audience was unsettling. Certainly Subaru could understand why the Education Ministry was concerned, but whether Kumiko Nagi's abilities were reason enough to justify a forced closure of the Institute which Subaru knew had to eventually happen was difficult to say. On the positive side at least now he had something to work on in the investigation, the question was now how to proceed from here. Right now Kumiko Nagi was still surrounded by her adoring followers making it impossible to talk to her which quite frankly Subaru wasn't keen on doing. Apparently he wasn't the only one to feel that way either – sitting beside him, Hashimoto hadn't moved a muscle.

Subaru looked at Hashimoto. The girl was watching the activity around Kumiko Nagi at the front of the room as if trying to understand a film in a foreign language. She must have noticed Subaru's attention on her, for she glanced at him only to immediately turn away as their eyes met. "Hello," said Subaru kindly.

"Um, hi." There was a pause. "So, ah, what do you think?"

"Huh?" Subaru looked at the activity at the front of the room, which was slowly beginning to break up and filter out the lower door. "It's very … inspiring."

"Mm." Whether the response was an agreement or not Subaru couldn't tell. Hashimoto took a deep breath. "Why are you here?"

Subaru hesitated for a moment; he hated lying but knew of course that there were times when it was impossible for him to tell the whole truth. "I read about the Institute a little while ago. Before that day in the park, I mean. I was interested however wasn't sure about it, but then I met you and you said that there were plenty of people in the Institute so I felt encouraged to join." _Which is sort of true_ , Subaru added silently.

Hashimoto only looked half-convinced. "So you joined up because of me?"

Subaru blinked. "Ah, I suppose you could say that?"

Hashimoto's reaction to his answer was not something Subaru expected. Her eyes widened, and a faint blush crept over her face as she turned shyly away from him. Subaru grew concerned. "Hashimoto-san? Did I—"

"Subaru-kun! Kuniko-chan!" Both Subaru and Hashimoto twisted in their chairs to look in the direction of the voice. Asaoga-sensei waved cheerfully from the assembly room's upper door. "Can you two come with me, please. Kumiko-sensei would like to speak with you."

Subaru wasn't the kind of person who was given to paranoia, but upon hearing this he couldn't help but have a moment of panic believing that he had been discovered and that he was about to be hauled up before Kumiko Nagi and questioned. "She does?" he replied, trying to buy some time to think.

"Yes, right now."

"Uh …" Hashimoto, Subaru noticed, was already out of her chair and obediently walking up to Asaoga. When she realised that Subaru was still sitting down, however, she paused and turned back with a confused and pleading gaze, obviously not wanting to go by herself. Since she was called up as well it was probably safe to assume that Subaru's cover had not been blown, but then why did Kumiko-sensei want to talk to them? Was it just because they were new members? Or had she noticed that he and Hashimoto had been the only two left sitting when the rest of the room had run down to her – was she going to challenge them on that?

Whatever the reason, there was only one way to find out.

Hashimoto was still looking at him with that pleading expression. Asaoga on the other hand was beginning to look impatient. Taking a deep breath Subaru fetched his bag and stood up, though not before feeling in his pocket for the reassuring shape of his ofuda.

"I'm coming."

 

* * *

 

They were led to a door on the eastern side of the building. The door was non-descript except for a simple sign that said 'Director's Office'. Subaru couldn't help but notice that the corridor the door was on was quiet with very little people traffic. Hashimoto either didn't notice this or didn't care, which made Subaru wonder if this was her first time seeing Kumiko Nagi. Before he could ask her about it, however, Asaoga gave the door a respectful knock.

"Come in," a voice said pleasantly.

Asaoga opened the door. "Kumiko-san, I've brought Kuniko-chan and Subaru-kun to see you."

Prompted by a discreet push Subaru and Hashimoto entered the room. It was a spacious room, which in a city of millions of offices immediately denoted seniority and status, and well-appointed with leather armless couches and a coffee table of iron and glass sitting in front of the executive's desk. There was a large window on the far wall, which would have had an impressive view of Shinjuku if the curtains weren't drawn. Display cabinets made of some dark timber lined one wall, and a decorative indoor plant rather like the one Seishirou had in the clinic's reception sat in the corner. Standing close to the plant was Kumiko Nagi. She greeted the two of them with a kind smile.

"Good evening."

Her voice was softer than it had been in the assembly room, but no less warm. Hashimoto immediately bowed; lacking her automatic student habits Subaru did the same a beat later. "Good evening, Kumiko-sensei," they murmured.

Kumiko acknowledged their respect with a slight nod then glanced at the door. "Thank you, Himawari-san." Subaru heard the door shut quietly behind him as Kumiko turned her attention back to them. Her large eyes were dark brown, Subaru noted, still feeling a little apprehensive, and she was quite attractive even up close. "Thank you both for coming. Don't worry, it's not for any trouble, I just wanted to have a quick chat with our newest members. Please, take a seat."

Subaru and Hashimoto did as they were told, putting their bags down and sitting next to each other on the three-seat couch. Kumiko took one of the sofa chairs opposite. "Now, Subaru-kun," she began.

"Y-yes?"

Kumiko gave a gentle laugh. "There's no need to be nervous. I've asked you here simply to see how your first experience at the Institute has been."

"Oh." Subaru tried to look nonchalant with mediocre success. "It's been good?"

"What do you think of the Institute?"

"Ah …" His hands were restless – looking down, Subaru realised that he was twisting his fingers in their gloves. This was why he hated undercover jobs; unlike Seishirou he had no confidence in pretending to be something he was not. "I was surprised that everyone here was in high school," he said at last.

The smile on Kumiko's face grew soft. "Is it really so surprising? Religion is the power of belief, a power to believe in something greater than ourselves that can be a pillar for us in times of turmoil. Everyone needs to believe in something, but the ones who need to believe the most are the children of the world. Children like you. You are the most valuable members of our society, but also the most vulnerable. As you grow up and see more of the world with all of its sins and tragedies, it becomes more frightening, and you become lost in it. And when you become lost … that is the time when you need to believe." Subaru kept his face as expressionless as possible as Kumiko fixed her gaze first on him then Hashimoto. "It's a lie to say that children don't suffer. In fact, their suffering is more deep and pure because children aren't allowed to give up or falter the way adults are. It is children like you who need the most guidance, and it is my mission to give that guidance."

She was giving another speech, Subaru realised, like the one he had heard earlier at the assembly but in a more intimate setting and up close. Again, Subaru found it easy to rebuff the impulse to engage too closely with Kumiko's words, but even though he was listening as an observer he was still listening. Kumiko spoke well in her warm voice, earnestly enough for people want to listen to her and as far as Subaru could tell, completely sincerely, her charisma not backed by any calculation or malice. In fact, thus far it looked as if Kumiko really had no other agenda in talking to Subaru and Hashimoto other than to spend time with them, and all of Subaru's apprehensions in facing her were groundless. If this was all there was to the Institute and Kumiko Nagi, then why when Subaru had first done this investigation had the Institute been shut down? There had to be something more. "It must be very hard work," said Subaru aloud, feeling a little clumsy – he knew from his dealings with the police that there were techniques to direct conversation to gain information, but he had never tried any of them himself before. "Running the Institute, I mean."

"Oh no, I have some wonderful people who help me – Himawari-san, for instance, she was one of my first followers and is an absolute treasure. Not only is she a teacher here, she also runs the administration. It's a very heavy workload, but she does it all enthusiastically. There are many others like her who either help manage the Institute or act in a teaching role, and still more who cannot give their time but who donate financially. Everybody may contribute differently, but the one thing they all have in common is that they share my passion and vision."

"And what vision is that?"

"To teach those who are lost in life to cleanse their soul, and through that show them strength. We live in an unfair world that every day grows more immoral and vicious, and I want to do what I can to change it by guiding the new generation towards light." Kumiko Nagi brought a hand up to rest over her heart in the attitude of a nursing mother – she really didn't act anything like Subaru's idea of a cult leader. "I have received an amazing amount of support and assistance from so many people around the country in my quest to help these children; it's how I came to create this Institute," she said softly. Suddenly she focused on Subaru, making him jump. "I know you have many worries, Subaru-kun, worries that you keep to yourself. You don't have to say anything now, but if you ever feel like talking, or that you need someone, please, let me know.

Subaru was rather taken aback. "I, ah …" What on earth was Kumiko talking about? There were plenty of worries that Subaru kept to himself, not the least being how to win the heart of an emotionless assassin who had killed his twin sister in a past life, but there was no way he was telling anyone about it, least of all a woman who was an alleged cult leader he had only just met. "I wouldn't want to trouble you."

Kumiko laughed. "Believe me nothing would please me more than to help you with your problems. You too, Kuniko-chan," she added, turning towards the girl sitting in uncomfortable silence on Subaru's left. "It wasn't coincidence that led to our meeting in the park that evening. It would make me very happy to help you."

Subaru turned his head a little to look at Hashimoto. The girl sat staring at her hands which were placed properly on her knees, but her braids hid her face from Subaru. "I … I prayed just like you told me to, Kumiko-sensei. I prayed that I could learn to love myself every day, but …" Suddenly her hands clenched, crushing the pleats of her skirt. "But nothing's changed! Nobody at school makes an effort to help me!"

"You must not have prayed hard enough, then." Kumiko looked as serene as the Buddha statues in Asakusa Park. "You can't rush things, Kuniko-chan. You need to believe in yourself with all of your heart. I'm sure it must be very difficult to deal with your classmates' bullying, but it's only because you are unable to truly love yourself, so you must believe that you can endure and do so. That is the only way you can become stronger. Once you become strong you will then have the strength to forgive everyone."

"But that's not it!" Hashimoto cried, obviously distressed. "That's not what I'm talking about! What I want is—"

She broke off. Kumiko was smiling at her the way a mother would smile at a child bawling over a bruised knee. Confronted with such a response Hashimoto seemed to deflate, shrinking back into her seat and bowing her head – watching this, Subaru bit his lip but under the circumstances couldn't really offer any comfort. Certainly Kumiko didn't, instead continuing her lecture. "In time you will understand, Kuniko-chan, understand why you are going through this. You will come out of this stronger. Until then you must persist and pray to be able to love and understand yourself." She glanced at her watch. "I'm so sorry, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to stop there – I'm expecting a call for a phone conference soon. I hope you don't mind."

Subaru gave an internal sigh of relief. "Oh no, I understand. I need to start heading home anyway." He stood to go.

Kumiko rose to her feet as well. "I'm very happy that I was able to meet you, Subaru-kun. Please, if you ever need to talk, my office is always open to you."

"I'll keep it in mind." Privately Subaru had no intention of ever taking up Kumiko's invitation, but he bowed anyway. He was about to leave when he realised that Hashimoto was still sitting silently on the couch.

Kumiko followed his gaze. "Oh dear." She stepped around the coffee table and bent down to touch Hashimoto's shoulder. "Now, Kuniko-chan—"

Without warning Hashimoto suddenly stood, knocking Kumiko's hand back as she grabbed her bag and stormed towards the door. Taken by surprise Kumiko half-stumbled, however as Subaru instinctively reached out to help she managed to catch her balance on her back foot. Hashimoto didn't spare either of them a glance as she yanked the door open and ran out leaving an abrupt silence behind. Subaru stared after her in shock.

It was Kumiko who spoke first. "Well!" she said, something like laughter in her tone. She was still smiling, Subaru noticed, and looked completely unruffled. "Poor Kuniko-chan. She's obviously still very confused."

Subaru looked at the open door. "I think she's very upset," he replied softly.

"Don't worry, she'll calm down, and when she does she'll be able to think clearly about what I said." Kumiko headed to her desk. "Tomorrow our service is being held at six o'clock, so I'll see you then, all right, Subaru-kun?"

"Um, sure." Silently thankful for the dismissal Subaru picked up his bag – just how long had this interview gone on for anyway? "Thank you, Kumiko-sensei."

Kumiko smiled. "It was a pleasure."

Ever polite, Subaru bowed once more, then exited the room closing the door behind him. Once the lock clicked into place, he began to run.

The halls of the Institute were deserted. As he dashed past the windows Subaru glanced outside – already the sky had turned dark. Hokuto would be expecting him home soon, but before that … Subaru turned the corner to the reception area where the elevators were. The receptionist's desk was empty, but there was someone at the elevators.

"Hashimoto-san!"

Hashimoto didn't respond, clutching the handle of her school bag in two fists as she waited for a lift. Subaru slowed to a stop beside her. "Hashimoto-san! Are you all—" He broke off, question answered when he saw that Hashimoto's cheeks were damp. Hashimoto quickly turned away from him. "I'm sorry," said Subaru quietly.

Hashimoto wiped her face with her sleeve. "What for? You didn't do anything."

"That's why I need to apologise." One of the lifts pinged and opened. Subaru followed Hashimoto inside and pressed the button for the ground floor. "I should have said something back there when Kumiko-sensei was upsetting you."

"She's a teacher, she can say what she wants. Besides, she's trying to help me."

Subaru was baffled. "How does making you upset and dismissing your feelings so casually help you?"

"She's trying to make me stronger!" Hashimoto glared at him with reddened eyes. "I'm upset because I'm not strong enough to take even just Kumiko-sensei telling me that I need to get better. If I can't take a little criticism that then it's no wonder that I can't take what those girls at school do to me—" She broke off as she tried to choke back tears again.

There were so many things Subaru could say, so many encouragements he could give. But Hashimoto had heard enough words from Kumiko-sensei and they had done nothing, so instead Subaru chose another option. He reached out and put an arm around her shoulders. At the initial touch Hashimoto flinched, but only for a moment, and when Subaru pulled her closer she didn't resist. Like a paper doll she crumpled against him, burying her face in his jacket as if he were her only friend in the world – and perhaps he was. It struck Subaru then that maybe this was the first time Hashimoto was able to cry supported on someone's shoulder instead of alone, a thought that if true made her situation all the more pitiful. On impulse Subaru awkwardly patted her back much like the way Hokuto would to give him comfort. "It'll be all right," he murmured. "It'll be all right."

Still Hashimoto kept crying, as if she found Subaru's kindness too much. Indifferent to the moods of its passengers the lift continued to sink until it came to a stop on the ground floor where it opened its doors. Burdened as he was by Hashimoto's weight Subaru didn't move, though he did notice that the lobby was empty, and eventually the lift doors closed leaving the two of them in seclusion once more with Hashimoto's sobs thickening the air. It took a while, but gradually she began to calm down, sobs quietening to little more than hiccups. "Are you feeling better?" asked Subaru quietly.

"A little." Exhausted, Hashimoto leaned against him, but then all at once she realised the position they were in. With a mortified gasp she shoved herself away from Subaru and bowed deeply. "I-I'm sorry!"

Subaru blinked. "What for?"

"For crying all over you! I'm sorry!"

Subaru tried to laugh it off. "Eh, that's okay, I don't mind. Really." Still Hashimoto kept her head bowed, and Subaru could only imagine how embarrassed she felt. He looked at the elevator doors. "Uh, we should get out of here, don't you think?" Without waiting for an answer he pressed the button to open the elevator, and the doors slid apart with a slight hum. Subaru held them apart. "Please, after you."

Hesitantly Hashimoto raised her head. What with the crying and the still visible bruises on her face she looked a mess, and the unflattering yellow light didn't help. Subaru smiled encouragingly which seemed to help, and she timidly stepped out into the empty lobby with disbelief. Subaru immediately followed, pulling out his handkerchief as the doors slid shut behind him. "Here," he said kindly, holding the handkerchief out to Hashimoto. "Use this."

"Th-thank you." Gingerly Hashimoto accepted the handkerchief and wiped her eyes. There was a tentative smile on her face. "You know, this is the second time you've given me your handkerchief because I was crying."

"It is?"

"You gave me your handkerchief the day we met in the park. It's hanging up at home to dry because I washed it, but I didn't know if I would ever see you again to return it. Now that I am seeing you again you give me another handkerchief." Hashimoto laughed a little nervously. "Isn't that funny?"

"Oh." Subaru blushed at his forgetfulness. "I suppose so."

"Would you like me to clean this one too?" Hashimoto held out the tear-stained handkerchief.

"That's all right, I can wash it at home—"

"But I'm the one who got it dirty! Please!"

Subaru felt embarrassed – the way Hashimoto was asking reminded him of some of the maids at the Sumeragi household in Kyōto, a comparison Subaru was far from comfortable with. "It's all right," he repeated firmly, taking his handkerchief out of Hashimoto's hand before she could protest further. "You already have my other one and you shouldn't be a laundromat. But it was very nice of you to offer." Hashimoto's expression was disappointed, and Subaru changed the subject. "Where are you going from here?"

"Home. I'll have to stop at the shops on the way and get something for dinner, though. What about you?"

"Home as well – my sister will be waiting for me." Subaru hesitated a moment before his next question. "Are you going to be coming to the Institute tomorrow?"

Hashimoto looked unhappy. "I have school tomorrow. There's art class in the afternoon which I love however _those_ girls are in my group … I'd rather study at the Institute where no one bothers me, but I've already been told off for skipping school so I'll come here for the evening assembly. I want to prove to Kumiko-sensei that I am learning to be strong. Are … are you coming tomorrow?"

She sounded so hopeful, so desperate. Subaru took one look at the uncomfortably open expression on her face and his reservations about Kumiko Nagi died on his tongue. Later, he told himself, later he would talk to her about the teacher. "I'll be here tomorrow," he promised.

It was if he had promised her the moon. The smile that had disappeared earlier appeared again on her face like a winking firefly, only this time it was bigger, less timid and nervous. "I'm glad," said Hashimoto softly. Then a faint blush spread over her cheeks and she asked, "Could you … could you walk with me for a little while?"

Subaru stared at her, the way the light fell on her shyly turned face. Then he smiled.

"Sure."

 

* * *

 

Subaru walked Hashimoto to Shinjuku Station. As it turned out both of them needed to catch the same train, so they ended up travelling together for longer than expected. Throughout the trip Hashimoto's behaviour puzzled Subaru; she would talk rapidly for minutes at a time, then without warning suddenly stop and pull into a shy silence until Subaru worriedly asked what was wrong, in which case she would start talking again. It confused Subaru immensely, and he was rather relieved when the train pulled up at his stop. Given how quickly the doors opened and closed he couldn't say much more than a hasty goodbye, but once on the platform he turned to wave. It was hard to tell, but as the Yamanote pulled away blurring into silver and green Subaru did think he saw Hashimoto wave back. It cheered him enough for him to face the long cold walk home, but didn't last. By the time Subaru unlocked his door he wanted nothing more than to sink into his couch, however as things turned out, Subaru had company waiting for him.

"There you are!" Still standing in the genkan Subaru looked up to see Hokuto sticking her head out from kitchen doorway. "What took you so long? I was about to page you and tell you to hurry up because dinner's nearly ready!"

"Hello, Hokuto-chan." Automatically putting his shoes away Subaru went to hang up his coat. "Sorry I'm late; I had to stay back and talk to someone. What's for dinner?"

"My special chicken stew! But don't eat too much of it, because there's stuff for dessert as well. We made cookies this afternoon!"

"It sounds delicious," replied Subaru. He began heading down the hall to the kitchen, then his brain finished processing what his sister had said. "Wait – we?"

A tall familiar figure leaned into the hallway behind Hokuto. "Hello, Subaru-kun," said Seishirou genially. "Welcome back."

Subaru froze. Hokuto on the other hand was grinning. "Sei-chan had the afternoon off today so he came over to bake cookies, and since it's been so long since the three of us have spent time together I told him to stay for dinner! Well, Subaru? Aren't you going to say anything to Sei-chan?"

It took a bit of effort for Subaru to wet his suddenly dry throat. "Good evening, Seishirou-san."

"Aw, you can do better than that. Oops!" Hokuto's eyes widened as the sound of bubbling behind her grew louder. "Back to the stove – Sei-chan, go help Subaru with his bag!" She dashed back into the kitchen, not before giving Subaru a significant look. Subaru watched her go with a pleading expression before his attention was arrested by someone much more immediate.

"Here, let me take that." Smoothly Seishirou removed the bag from Subaru's hands. "What station did you get off at?"

"Ah, Seibushinjuku."

"And you walked all the way from there? Dear me, you must be exhausted." Gently Seishirou began to push Subaru towards the dining room. "So is the job going well?"

"Um, I suppose." Mentally Subaru told himself to act normal – so Hokuto had invited Seishirou over for dinner, fine, he could deal with that. What wasn't so easy to deal with was Hokuto's motives behind the invitation, which were undoubtedly to create an opportunity for Subaru to tell Seishirou that— "I have to investigate a religious group," said Subaru quickly, trying not to follow the thought any further. "I managed to speak to the woman who heads it; she's a very nice person but she also has some spiritual power because when she spoke at the assembly this afternoon all people listening were completely enraptured—"

"Slow down, Subaru-kun," said Seishirou laughingly as they entered the kitchen. "You've just walked in the door; you don't have to tell me everything at once even if you _are_ adorable when flustered. Go take a seat while Hokuto-chan and I finish cooking—"

"Oh, you don't need to help, Sei-chan, I'll be done in a minute! Why don't you keep Subaru company on the couch?"

"Very well, then. Come on." Without breaking step Seishirou directed Subaru to the living area and placed the bag on the floor against the wall. "So why do you have to investigate a religious group?" he asked as they both sat down.

"The members of this group are mostly high school students, which is why the Ministry of Education is concerned," said Subaru, toying with the cloth of his gloves. Why did Seishirou have to sit so close? "I attended one of the assemblies this afternoon and listened to the woman who heads the group – she's very charismatic, you _want_ to listen to her, and everyone around me did except for this one girl who wasn't affected the way the rest of the students were—"

"Subaru-kun." Seishirou leaned over until his face was inches from Subaru's. "You're rambling again."

Subaru reddened. For two days he had managed to avoid giving much thought to what he had to tell Seishirou, but now that the man was actually here it was impossible to think of anything else. "I am?"

"Yes. Is something wrong?"

The light from the standing lamp made Seishirou's eyes seem warmer. Subaru tried not to stare. "Nothing's wrong," he heard himself say. "Why should anything be wrong?"

Seishirou gave a charming smile. "You seem to be nervous."

"I—" Subaru ducked his head, breaking the gaze. "I'm just tired. So, ah, how was work today?"

"Good! Busy, but good. There was a big drama in the morning when a family brought in a golden Labrador puppy that was choking on something, and the two little children were so afraid that Kinko-chan – that's the name they had given the puppy, by the way – was going to die and they kept crying no matter how many sweets my assistant offered them …"

Subaru listened to Seishirou with a sense of relief, thankful that the anecdote didn't require much more from him. He felt a little bad for so obviously changing the subject, but it was easier, so much easier to talk about things that were mundane and ordinary. Certainly it was safer, and besides, it left him free to watch Seishirou perform. Expression, voice, mannerisms, even though Subaru knew all the tricks and what Seishirou was covering up, he couldn't help but admire and wonder about the thought and effort the Sakurazukamori must have put into creating the role. Then again, it was also frustrating. Here they were, Sumeragi and Sakurazukamori, sitting on the couch talking about puppies and sweets instead of trying to kill each other. The whole situation struck Subaru as rather ridiculous, to the point where he almost missed the mood of the Final Year when they faced each other without pretence and all masks stripped away …

"—and you know what I found during the operation? The father's pager! What was even more amusing was that as soon as I showed it to the children it started beeping—"

"All right, you two, dinner's ready!" Subaru and Seishirou looked up to see Hokuto setting the table. "Come take a seat and dig in!"

Subaru was all too happy to oblige. He hurried to the table and sat down, uncomfortably aware of how Seishirou casually followed. Hokuto beamed at them. "You know, I think this is the first time all of us have been together for nearly three weeks!" she said as she served out the food. "Have you been doing much, Sei-chan?"

"Work, work, and more work." Seishirou took the seat to Subaru's right and began pouring out the tea. "Very boring, sad to say. What about you and Subaru-kun?"

"School, work, shopping, work. Very boring, sad to say." Hokuto gave her brother a wry grin acknowledging private secrets as she sat down. "We did try to invite you over for spaghetti a couple of nights ago, but you didn't pick up. Did you go somewhere?"

"Dinner – I couldn't be bothered to cook for myself so I went out to eat instead."

"By yourself? Aw, that's terrible! What did you have?"

"Mosburger." Seishirou made a mournful face.

" _What!_ " Hokuto looked shocked. "For _dinner_? You poor thing! That's it – Subaru, you're learning how to cook!"

Startled, Subaru looked up from his dinner. "Huh? Why?"

"So you can be a proper wife for Sei-chan!"

Subaru spluttered. "W-why do I have to be the girl!"

Seishirou and Hokuto burst out laughing, exchanging arch looks. Immediately Subaru reddened, realising that the two of them had been Talking and he didn't really want to know the details. It was all rather unfair, he thought as he dug into his food with burning ears, he had no chance when Hokuto and Seishirou teamed up against him with their teasing. Certainly it wasn't encouraging him to go anywhere near the subject of what he had to tell Seishirou.

Dinner passed in much the same way. Hokuto and Seishirou chatted almost non-stop and regularly aimed good-natured teasing at Subaru who would always either feebly protest or blush, which only encouraged Hokuto and Seishirou to tease him more … it was the usual script. Subaru watched it, feeling more like part of the audience than an actual participant in the scene, and wondered if this was what the rest of his life would have been like had Seishirou had actually been who he was pretending to be. Now and then Seishirou would laugh, sharing one of Hokuto's jokes, and Subaru would smile with an odd sense of warmth, content for now just to listen to the other man's humour.

Eventually, however, Seishirou turned the conversation to more serious matters. "So what are you going to do about this new case of yours, Subaru-kun?" he asked.

"Mm." Subaru chewed and swallowed his mouthful of rice before replying. "It's hard to say – the Education Ministry is concerned that the MS Institute may be a cult, and after what I saw today I can understand why because Kumiko-sensei definitely has a good level of spiritual power. I can't tell if she's trained to wield her power, but it does at the very least make her extremely charismatic, which could explain why the group is growing so quickly."

"Who's this Kumiko-sensei?" Hokuto asked.

"The top-level director of the MS Institute and leader of the group. She seems to be a very warm and friendly person, and from what I've seen so far is completely sincere about her work."

"Given that you've been investigating this group for less than a day that doesn't mean a lot," said Hokuto, daintily fishing a piece of chicken out of the pot with her chopsticks. "Leader of a suspected cult, huh. What exactly does this Kumiko-sensei preach to people?"

"She says that God lives inside everyone and that through forgiveness people can learn to be strong. At least that was the general gist of the assembly I attended – she asked to see me afterwards because I was a new member, and she told me that her vision in creating the Institute was to guide children to cleanse their soul and through that show them strength because we lived in an immoral and vicious world."

"Interesting philosophy. What about the people in the group, what were they like?"

"They—" Subaru broke off, recalling the people around him in the assembly, the blank expressions on their faces and Hashimoto's desperate eyes. "They're all so young," he said softly. "High-school students who look completely disillusioned and lost, but then they listened to Kumiko-sensei speak and … I don't know how to describe it, but they were completely enraptured by her. Some of them were even moved to tears. And then when Kumiko-sensei finished everyone all ran down to thank her or touch her as if she were some kind of celebrity … it was all rather unsettling."

The table fell silent, perhaps to allow Subaru's listeners to imagine the scene. Hokuto in particular looked vaguely uneasy. "From what you've said 'unsettling' might be a bit of an understatement," she said at last. "I don't know about you, but personally I can't think of much else that disturbs me more than the idea of giving up all critical thought to blindly follow some religious nut promoting salvation. Are there a lot of people in this MS Institute?"

"Oh yes, the assembly room was like a big university lecture hall, and it was full of high-school students. And this is only the Tokyo group – apparently there are over ten thousand members around the country."

"In other words, this Kumiko-sensei is exerting a strong influence over a lot of very vulnerable people," said Seishirou. He seemed to be listening to Subaru very carefully. "If her group really is a cult rather than a benign religious group and keeps gathering more members she could become a very powerful figure in society."

"It would explain why the bureaucrats are worried about her," Hokuto observed. "Do you think they're looking to shut Kumiko-sensei's group down?"

"I'm sure it's being considered but it's not that simple. There are plenty of _shinkō shūkyō_ in Japan which are eccentric but harmless off-shoots of Shinto or Buddhism, and while they're certainly outside the mainstream not all of them are what you'd consider cults. Can you imagine the reaction from the media and civil libertarians if the government clamped down on the MS Institute just because they were worried about its influence? The outcry could badly damage the government's reputation, and they can't afford that even if they were voted back into power earlier this year because the public won't have forgotten the trading scandal and political crisis so quickly. If the government does want to shut down this group, Subaru-kun, you're going to have to find some very strong evidence that shows the Institute is dangerous to counter any bad publicity."

"But what kind of evidence can I find?" Subaru asked. "I agree with what you said about not all new age religious groups being cults, but how do I make a distinction?"

Seishirou set his chopsticks aside and leaned back in his chair in the attitude of an amiable teacher. "There isn't really an obvious line between the two, Subaru-kun, which is part of the problem when dealing with cults. What one person views as a cult another may view as a legitimate religious group—"

"A cynic would say that the only difference between a cult and a religion is that the latter has a larger following built up over several centuries," interjected Hokuto dryly.

"—however the main difference is how they're focused. Religions focus outward; they want to better the lives of members and the world at large. Cults on the other hand look inwards and serve their own purposes, in some cases expressly forbidding members to have any contact with the outside world. If this Kumiko-sensei starts telling you to cut yourself off from your family and friends because we're preventing you from reaching salvation I'd say that's a good indication of what category the MS Institute falls into. When do you have to report back?"

Subaru shrugged. "I don't really have a deadline, but I'd like to finish as soon as possible." _After all,_ he added silently, glancing from his sister to the Sakurazukamori, _I have more personal things to worry about._

"Hm." Hokuto tapped a candy-pink nail against her the rim of her empty plate. "Maybe you could get some evidence from one of the Institute's members – actually that's a thought! What about that girl, the one you met in the park and wanted to help? Would she be willing to talk?"

"You mean Hashimoto-san?"

"Yeah, her."

"Who's Hashimoto-san?" asked Seishirou curiously.

Hokuto winked across the table. "Hashimoto-chan is the reason Subaru is doing this job. She's a girl who joined the MS Institute hoping it'll make her life better because she's being bullied at school. Subaru ran into her at the park yesterday afternoon, and upon hearing her tale of woe immediately decided to help her out."

"How very kind!"

"Did you see Hashimoto-chan at the Institute?" Hokuto asked her brother.

"Yes, I did. I must have really surprised her by turning up, because she kept staring at me."

"Staring at you?" Hokuto giggled. "You're a pretty boy, of course she would stare! (Actually I get stared at too when I go out.) So how was Hashimoto-chan doing? Is she far into the cult?"

"Her injuries are healing, but I don't think her bullying situation has gotten any better. She _has_ been listening to Kumiko-sensei, but it's hard to tell how far into the group she is – on one hand she didn't really react to Kumiko-sensei's assembly speech, but on the other when we met with Kumiko-sensei she said she really wants to believe and she was acting funny when we caught the train afterwards—"

"Wait." Almost cat-like Hokuto's eyes narrowed into green slits. "You and Hashimoto-chan caught the train _together?_ "

"Yes, why?"

"Was it your idea?"

"No, it was hers."

"Uh _huh._ So you caught the train together, at her suggestion, and you said earlier that she was staring at you. _Hm._ " A thoughtful, slightly unsettling smile had begun to spread over Hokuto's face. "And what exactly do you mean by she was acting funny?"

"Ah …" The expression on Hokuto's face was setting off silent alarms in Subaru's head. "Well, she was very shy but sometimes talked really fast about little things that didn't make sense, and I think all that crying after we finished talking to Kumiko-sensei gave her a headache because she looked kind of flushed and—" Subaru broke off as his sister began to silently giggle. "What? What's so funny?" Hokuto didn't answer, breaking out into fully fledged laughter. "What's so funny! Hokuto-chan!"

With supreme effort Hokuto pulled herself together. "Oh, Subaru, Subaru," she said loftily. "Don't you realise that this girl is probably starting to have a crush on you?"

It took a moment for that to sink in with all its eye-boggling weight. "Wh- _what!?_ "

"You heard me." Hokuto's grin was infuriatingly knowing. "A crush. Hashimoto-chan from the park has a crush on you. You described all the signs perfectly."

"But, but—" Subaru looked from Hokuto to Seishirou and back in dismay. "But how can she have a crush on me? What did I do to make her have a crush on me?"

"Knowing you? You helped her out when no one else would. I'm guessing that you let her cry on your shoulder, gave her your handkerchief, generally made her feel better and gallantly walked her to the station like a gentleman straight out of a romance novel. Do you know how many girls would kill to have a boyfriend like that to show to her friends, especially one as pretty as you?"

Subaru put his face in his gloved hands and groaned. "This is _not_ making me feel better."

"Nor I." Seishirou's voice was despondent. "I now have a love rival."

"Oh dear, I think Sei-chan's _jea~_ lous!" Hokuto sing-songed. "What are you doing to do about _that_ , Subaru?"

Startled, Subaru looked up. "Huh?"

"Sei-chan! All your talk about a _girl_ is making him feel upset and unworthy! Do something!"

"I—"

"That's okay, Hokuto-chan." Seishirou's expression was melodramatically mournful. "After all I'm just a lowly veterinarian, and a man at that, so I'll completely understand if Subaru-kun has got a girlfriend."

Subaru felt himself turn red to his ears. "Don't be silly, Seishirou-san. I don't have a girlfriend."

" _Really?_ " asked Seishirou eagerly. "So does this mean I still have a chance with you?"

He leaned hopefully towards Subaru. Flustered, Subaru could only look embarrassed, a feeling that was not helped by Hokuto's very pointed looks telling him to say something, but when he tried to increase the space between him and Seishirou he received a kick under the table. "Ow! – uh, maybe?"

The Look he got from Hokuto for that response could have chilled molten lead. Subaru avoided catching her eyes and pretended to be engrossed in his empty plate, not before making sure his legs were safely tucked away. Thankfully Seishirou didn't seem to notice the twins' interaction; either that or it was in character for the veterinarian to be oblivious. "Still only 'maybe', then?" said Seishirou, sitting back in his chair with a disappointed look that was a little too exaggerated to be taken seriously. "Well, at least it's not a 'no', which is better than nothing. Don't worry, Hokuto-chan; I promise to keep working hard to succeed in the 'win Subaru's love' campaign!"

"You've already succeeded," muttered Hokuto, too low for anyone but Subaru to hear. In a normal voice she asked, "Does anyone want some more food? If not we can start cleaning up." Subaru and Seishirou replied in the negative and Hokuto began to gather the empty dishes. "All right. Bring the tea to the living area, Sei-chan, once all this is washed we'll have dessert. Subaru, can you help me clean up?"

"Sure." As requested Subaru stood and collected the used cutlery, at the same time watching Hokuto out of the corner of his eye. His sister's movements were sharp, expressing impatience, and Subaru inwardly sighed as he realised why his sister had asked him to help. Unfortunately polite escape routes weren't forthcoming, and his only other choice was to go sit with Seishirou, something that Subaru was sure Hokuto would approve of but also a hundred times more nerve-racking. "What shall I do with the leftovers?"

"Transfer it to a smaller bowl and store it in the fridge – oh, no you don't, Sei-chan, put those plates down and go sit on the couch! You're a guest, you don't do house chores here!"

"But I want to help Subaru-kun!"

"You can help Subaru with chores when you're married to him." Hokuto made shooing motions. "Go on, off with you!"

Defeated, Seishirou put his hands up and obediently left the area, though not without a grin at Subaru. "You hear that, Subaru-kun? You have to marry me so I can help you with cleaning up!"

Before Subaru could get his tongue to form a response Seishirou had gone to the living area. Subaru watched him for a moment, the way the man sat easily on the floor back against the couch and picked up something to read, before returning to the kitchen with a deep breath. As expected the moment he put down his pile of dishes Hokuto immediately pulled him aside. "Aren't you going to say _anything_ to him?" she demanded in a whisper.

"What do you expect me to say?" retorted Subaru, also whispering. "I'm not going to tell Seishirou-san what I feel over dinner!"

"But you could at least be a bit more encouraging! All you've talked about so far is work and more work, and then when the opportunity came for you to open up a bit to Seishirou you completely dodged! Playing hard to get is one thing but you take it too far!"

"Stop pressuring me!" Their voices were beginning to rise – Subaru glanced over at the living area and was relieved to see Seishirou still reading, then began to stack plates and bowls into the dishwasher hoping the noise would make it harder for them to be overheard. "I'm not ready to do this," he said tensely. "I'm not ready, it's not the right time—"

"When is the right time?" Hokuto threw back, grabbing a dishcloth to wipe down the kitchen bench. "Tomorrow? Next week? The next month, or the next _year?_ I know you, Subaru, and whilst I understand that telling someone you love them isn't easy, if you keep dithering you may be too late!"

Subaru's gloved fingers tightened around the plate. "I know," he bit out quietly, remembering, _So this is how it ends._

"Then _do_ something, otherwise—"

"Are you sure I can't help with anything?" Seishirou called out from the living area. "It sounds rather chaotic over there."

"Oh, we're practically done," Hokuto called back brightly, tossing the dishcloth in the sink and going to the pantry where she fetched a coloured tin. In a very different voice she said to Subaru, "I'll finish the dishes. You go keep Sei-chan company."

Subaru blinked as Hokuto emptied a handful or so of the tin's contents onto a plate. "What's that?"

"Dessert. Sei-chan and I made cookies this afternoon. Now go!"

Without further ado Hokuto shoved the plate of cookies into his hands and pushed him firmly out of the kitchen. Subaru did manage to give her a reproachful glare, but it went mostly wasted as with a flick of tulle skirt Hokuto spun away to finish cleaning the kitchen, and by then there was no putting it off any longer.

Taking a deep breath Subaru walked over to where Seishirou was sitting reading on the floor, the plate of cookies heavy in his hands. As expected, the Sakurazukamori looked up at him with a smile. "Hello, Subaru-kun."

"… Hi," replied Subaru, feeling a little awkward – why awkward? He had spoken to Seishirou countless times on countless occasions, from inconsequential small talk and work discussions at the clinic, to conflicts of raw emotion and his moment of death. Then again those were the past and nowhere near as immediate as _now_ … "Um, I brought some cookies for dessert if you like."

"Ah, I've been waiting to try those!" Seishirou put aside the document he had been reading – the MS Institute case-file, Subaru noticed – and motioned for Subaru to sit next to him on the floor. "Hokuto-chan wouldn't let me taste-test a single cookie when we finished," he said as Subaru handed him the plate and sat down on his left. "She insisted that we wait for you to get home first. They're vanilla, you like that, don't you?" Subaru nodded. "Here, try one!"

Seishirou held a small cookie up before Subaru's lips. For a brief moment Subaru stared at it, the way Seishirou's fingers held it, then imagined Hokuto glaring at him before he hesitantly opened his mouth and eating it whole. "Good boy," Seishirou said, almost purring. "How is it?"

Subaru tried to catch crumbs in his gloved hands as he swallowed with some success. "It's delicious," he said quite truthfully, despite the abundance of sugar which was probably more to Hokuto and Seishirou's taste than his.

"I'm glad to hear it." Seishirou chuckled. "Hokuto-chan and I put a lot of effort into making them. I won't tell you how much sugar we put in, though, you might faint."

"When did you come over?" asked Subaru, hoping to make conversation.

"About four o'clock. Hokuto-chan asked me over for a baking afternoon. I had hoped to see you as well but Hokuto-chan told me you were at work."

So Seishirou had come over at Hokuto's invitation. No doubt she had been prompted by some ulterior motive that revolved somewhere around getting the two of them together, but that was only expected. "Well, you're seeing me now," he found himself saying.

Seishirou gave him a warm smile. "That I am. Here, have some more."

Again, Seishirou held out a cookie. A little emboldened Subaru didn't hesitate this time, leaning over to take it in his teeth and beginning to feel rather pleased with his efforts, which to him seemed rather daring—

Light footsteps on the wooden floor interrupted them. Startled, Subaru jerked his head up to find Hokuto grinning down at him. "So how are the cookies?" she asked brightly.

Subaru choked a little on his mouthful of cookie, painfully aware of how warm his face felt. Seishirou on the other hand didn't miss a beat. "Subaru-kun thinks they're delicious!"

"Well, of course they're delicious, we made them!" Hokuto's grin widened like a cat after cream, and Subaru knew she had seen him eating cookies from Seishirou's hand. "Anyway, I've got a new outfit to show you guys, so keep each other entertained whilst I go back to my apartment to change, okay? Bye!"

"W-wait!" Too late, or perhaps more correctly, with pleas falling on deaf ears, Subaru could only watch as his sister disappeared, pixie-like, out the room into the corridor. A second or so later he heard the familiar creak of his front door opening, a muted click of it falling back into place – and then they were alone.

 _Really, Hokuto-chan_ , thought Subaru reproachfully, _you could be a little less obvious about this._

The quiet that followed Hokuto's departure was almost deafening. Listening to it Subaru felt with sudden sharpness the enormity of the space in which the two of them were alone together, a space which he was expected to fill. It was something of a relief when Seishirou spoke first. "So," said the Sakurazukamori casually, helping himself to a cookie from the plate and eating it. "Where were we?"

"… ah," was all Subaru could make himself say. Inwardly he was berating his conveniently absent sister; for all her good intentions, all her ploy had really achieved was to put more pressure on him. Instead of creating a situation where Subaru _wanted_ to tell Seishirou about his feelings, it was now one where he _had_ to tell. Hokuto meant well, of course, but Subaru couldn't help but feel rather needled at being set up. "I'm not sure."

"I'm not sure either."

Silence, hollow enough for distant traffic to whisper in. Awkwardly Subaru searched for some way to start a conversation, and ended up saying the first thing that came into his head. "So how was work today?"

"Good. Busy, but good – I think I told you about the puppy that swallowed the pager earlier."

"Yeah." Mentally Subaru applied a kick to himself that he hoped was hard enough to prevent any more repeated banal questions. "I'm glad it turned out okay."

"Me too."

More silence. Subaru found it rather strange as well as heavily uncomfortable, because usually Seishirou could always be relied upon to fill wordless spaces with anything from a ridiculous flirtatious joke to some insightful observation. This uncharacteristic disinclination for talk seemed to weigh down like an expectation on Subaru to take charge, and he had never been good at the art of conversation. Besides, what with the charade he had to keep up, it wasn't like he could even say half the things he really wanted – except maybe three little words that would change their relationship forever. Three words that in another lifetime had been fatally kept to himself.

He could already hear Hokuto shouting, _Just do it, Subaru!_

"Seishirou-san," began Subaru slowly, praying he wasn't beginning to blush. "I … I have to tell you something."

The last few words had come out in a rush, probably to keep pace with his now racing pulse. Subaru recognised it as the first stirrings of panic and immediately wished for the world to rewind ten seconds to before he had started to speak. Unfortunately the world didn't oblige him, and the fact that Seishirou was smiling with infuriating unawareness wasn't helping. "What is it, Subaru-kun?"

Why did the man have to have such captivating eyes? True, they weren't as unsettling as the half-blind pair that had haunted Subaru for so many years, but even so, looking into them was like sinking into pools of poisoned honey. Subaru wet his lips with nervousness; he could feel what he was supposed to say resonating in his head, which in itself wasn't new, but unlike the fearful whisper of before now it was more like a shout in an amphitheatre that couldn't get beyond the doors. _How can Seishirou-san not know? It must be so obvious in my face; surely he can read my feelings for himself_ …

_Just say it!_

Subaru took a deep breath, forced himself to look straight into Seishirou's face – and realised he couldn't speak.

Seishirou frowned, expression slightly perturbed. "Subaru-kun?"

He couldn't say it. Not now, not here, not like this. Not to a smile he knew to be nothing but a mask, not while he himself was pretending to be someone he was not. His honesty wouldn't allow it, and if it did he'd end up hating the result whatever it may be. The love he felt for the man sitting beside him had been carried for too many years through too much suffering to be exposed so cheaply. Subaru turned away. "It's nothing."

The cover-up was obvious, and not surprisingly Seishirou didn't look convinced. "Are you sure, Subaru-kun? You can tell me anything, you know."

If he could tell Seishirou anything … "I said it was nothing," replied Subaru, grabbing a cookie off the plate on the floor between them hoping it would excuse him from speaking. The ruse worked; Seishirou didn't press the issue, instead almost studiously watching Subaru nervously nibble at the cookie as if he were some sort of abstract painting. The scrutiny made Subaru uncomfortable, to say nothing of the fact that he knew he was being highly impolite. Eventually guilt prompted him to retrieve his manners and he hastily offered Seishirou the plate of cookies. "Um, would you like some more?"

"No, thank you." Suddenly Seishirou smiled, but it wasn't the veterinarian persona anymore. "I'll have yours instead."

With practiced quickness he reached out and grabbed Subaru's right wrist. Startled, Subaru yelped as he was pulled sideways towards the man like a puppet, only just managing to catch his weight on his free hand and nearly sending the plate of cookies flying. "Seishirou-san what are—" He broke off as Seishirou brought the captured hand up before his face and carefully ate the rest of Subaru's half-eaten cookie from his fingers. _Oh …_

Behind the glasses Seishirou's eyes glinted like lurking coals. There was a familiar smirk on his face, half-hidden by gloved fingers that were held far too close to the man's mouth for Subaru's comfort. "It tastes sweeter this way," was Seishirou all said by way of explanation. "You do realise that this counts as an indirect kiss, right?"

Subaru thought that he had been blushing already, but now his face felt like he had a bad sunburn. His current position didn't help – sitting half-twisted as he was his left arm was taking the whole of his weight, and the vice-like grip Seishirou had his right wrist was all that was keeping him from falling flat on his face. " Wh- _what_ —"

He broke off as Seishirou lowered his head, almost bringing his mouth to touch Subaru's gloved fingers. The Sakurazukamori's gaze was challenging. "Would you like to know what a direct kiss is like?" he asked softly.

Like a caged thing Subaru's heart hammered the inside of his chest. Memory tripped – that afternoon in the clinic with the crushed cat, the feel of Seishirou's body trapping him against the operating table, was Seishirou trying to provoke a reaction again? Because if he was he was getting one – yes, Subaru wanted to find out, wanted it with a fierceness that was frightening in its certainty, but what was just as certain was the fact that he couldn't give voice to his answer. Kisses were intimate, tender expressions of affection, and as much as he had dreamed of kissing Seishirou he couldn't bring himself to do it, not when they were both pretending to be someone else, but _oh_ he wanted to, not just for the sake of the Bet but even more so because he was denying himself to the point that he wished that Seishirou would just force the issue—

Hours seemed to pass as Seishirou simply stared at him. Then, without warning, he let Subaru go. Subaru blinked, unconsciously untwisting himself into a more comfortable position on the floor as Seishirou began to stand up. "What—"

"I should be going." With deliberate steps Seishirou crossed the living room floor and retrieved his jacket from one of the kitchen barstools. "It's late and I have work tomorrow. Why, what did you think I was going to do?"

It a great deal of effort for Subaru not to splutter indignantly. "I thought – I mean, you were—" He couldn't bring himself to say it.

"Don't worry." Seishirou smiled as he pulled his jacket on. It was hard to say what exactly was different, but even though it was the same face smiling somehow the Sakurazukamori had become the veterinarian again. "I would never make you do anything you didn't want. If nothing else, if I ever made you cry Hokuto-chan would kill me!"

"Hang on!" Hastily Subaru began to get to his feet – something had happened, something vitally important that he had missed and if Seishirou left _now_ he would never know what it was … but already Seishirou was exiting the living room and Subaru was ten too many steps behind to catch up. "Seishirou-san—"

Seishirou waved as he disappeared into the hallway. "I'll see you soon, all right, Subaru-kun? Oh, hello Hokuto-chan!" he added cheerfully as the sound of the front door opening was heard. "Nice outfit, goodbye!"

"Huh? You're _going?_ "

"I'm afraid so, I have work tomorrow. Don't worry, I can let myself out. Bye!"

Too late, Subaru made it into the hallway only to stop halfway at the sight that met him. His sister was alone in the genkan, dressed in red and black, and the front door was swinging shut. As Subaru watched, it fell into place with a click.

With a dumbfounded expression Hokuto turned around. She was wearing a fitted black t-shirt, black stockings, red shorts with suspenders and a red beret. Large red plastic earrings jangled softly as she stared at him. "What happened?" she demanded.

Subaru lifted his hands in a manner he hoped clearly expressed his consternation. "I don't know!"

"What do you mean, you don't know? Sakurazuka Seishirou, the man you love, just walked out of here like he suddenly had somewhere else better to be, and you don't know _why_?"

"Really, I don't know!" protested Subaru. "I didn't do anything!"

For a long moment he was afraid Hokuto would yell at him. She didn't. Instead, she looked at him, emerald gaze narrowed and hard, before eventually giving a long resigned sigh. "Well. That explains it."

"Huh?"

Hokuto eloquently rolled her eyes heavenwards. "You didn't. Do. _Anything_."

 

* * *

 

 _What happened?_ wondered Subaru for the umpteenth time, mechanically following the flow of people into the assembly room of the MS Institute. The crowd seemed bigger this evening, either that or Subaru wasn't focusing properly on the case and was misremembering details. Probably the latter. _Seishirou-san would never be so careless as to let his act slip like that, meaning whatever he was doing last night must have been deliberate, but why? What was he trying to achieve?_

Nothing answered him. Considering that he had spent the rest of last night and the entirety of the day so far wondering about the issue he thought that was rather unfair, especially given the barrage of questions he had had to endure from Hokuto ("He was feeding you cookies! How did that go wrong?!"). With an exasperated sigh Subaru slumped into one of the assembly room chairs in the upper rows and gave into an urge to kick his bag under the desk. His behaviour attracted some curious looks from some of the other Institute members which were ignored. In his mind he replayed the events of last night's dinner, the awkward conversation over the cookies, the way Seishirou had abruptly upped and left. He tried to gloss over the part where Seishirou had come onto him, but, mainly because he couldn't think about it without blushing—

 

_"Would you like to know what a direct kiss is like?"_

 

Subaru ducked his head, wondering if his embarrassment was as visible to the world as he felt it was. Apparently not; all around him, like a flock of timid sheep, young people were filling the MS Institute's assembly hall and quietly sitting down with little other apparent interest than the blank desk in front of them. Still, however, Subaru could feel some inexplicable, almost wild shiver within him at the thought of being kissed by Seishirou that skittered through his blood with the knowledge that not only had he wanted Seishirou to kiss him, he wanted the man to kiss him long and slow, preferably whilst pinning him against the wall or some other hard surface. It wasn't the first time he had entertained such thoughts, but whenever they had popped up in those years leading up to the Final Day he had been able to squash them, deny them life with the memory of Hokuto's death. Since in this life Hokuto was alive … well, suffice to say those thoughts weren't so easy to reject. Probably the only thing that kept him in check was the sobering knowledge that it was all a charade where every one of Seishirou's action was a calculated move to further the Bet. Certainly it would be wise to presume that if Seishirou did kiss Subaru he wasn't doing it with Subaru's best interest in mind, which begged the original question – why had Seishirou behaved in the way he had last night?

More importantly, why had he run away?

The door at the lower end of the room opened. It signalled a ripple of animation through the crowd of students, catching Subaru's attention and making him sit up – back to work now, his own problems could be dealt with later. A familiar figure entered the assembly room walking towards the lectern, and as one the audience stood to give a respectful welcome. This time Subaru copied them flawlessly.

"Good evening, children," said Kumiko Nagi.

The gathering bowed deeply. "Good evening, Kumiko-sensei."

Kumiko Nagi gestured for them to be seated, which they obeyed. She remained silent for a moment, searching the crowd with her eyes. It could have been Subaru's imagination but she seemed briefly to focus on him, but before he could react Kumiko Nagi began to speak. "Welcome all members and new members. I congratulate and bless you all for making it here today …"

The oration that followed was, to Subaru, much the same as that of yesterday. As before Kumiko Nagi's charisma flowed over the crowd through her words, commanding undivided attention, however this time Subaru made a better effort to detach himself from it in order to critically listen to the content of her speech. Remembering what Hokuto and Seishirou had said last night about cults he tried to see if Kumiko was calling on her listeners to devote themselves to the Institute and forget their family and friends, but she said nothing of the sort. Actually, if one disregarded Kumiko Nagi's magnetism as a public speaker her sermon was rather repetitive and vague, yet Subaru couldn't help thinking of how desperately Hashimoto wanted to believe in her and her words.

"The god inside each of you is perfect. You are all perfect. You are all able to endure …"

Speaking of Hashimoto, where was she? Subaru hadn't seen her when he had come in, and given what Hokuto had suggested about her having a crush on him Subaru would have thought she would have found him to at least say hello. In fact, hadn't she mentioned yesterday that she would definitely be coming to the evening assembly?

Where was she?

Uneasiness tugged at Subaru's intuition. Slowly, trying not to attract any attention, Subaru visually swept the room thinking that maybe Hashimoto was simply sitting somewhere else, but although he spotted other students wearing her green uniform the girl herself was nowhere to be seen. He knew that there were plenty of harmless reasons for her to be absent, maybe another commitment like an after-school club or cram class, but Subaru couldn't bring himself to believe them, especially since he knew that Hashimoto was devoted enough to skip school to go to the Institute and the extent of the bullying she was regularly subjected to …

"If you pray every day for forgiveness and enlightenment you will all achieve strength …"

The question of the girl's absence plagued Subaru through the rest of Kumiko Nagi's address. By the time it ended and the crowd had once again surrounded Kumiko Nagi with their exultant thanks Subaru was starting to think of ways to get in touch with Hashimoto just to check on her despite the fact that he didn't have any of her contact details. His partly-formed plan to try talking to Institute members who had the same uniform as Hashimoto was put on hold, however, since as soon as he stood to make his way to the upper doors Asaoga appeared frantically waving to get his attention. "Sumeragi-kun!" she called out. "Can you stay back a bit? Kumiko-sensei would like to speak with you."

Inwardly Subaru grimaced; recalling his previous interview with Kumiko Nagi he wasn't particularly enthusiastic at the prospect of another one-on-one conversation with her. "Right now?" he asked.

"Right now. Come on!"

The way Asaoga was smiling and gesturing made her look as if she was summoning a pet dog. Subaru sighed; there was no helping it. Hopefully it would be short. "I'll be right there."

He grabbed his bag and jogged up the stairs. Asaoga stretched out to put an arm around his shoulders to urge him on. "Quickly now," she said, smile affixed to her face like a child's cartoon sticker. "She won't be kept waiting."

As things turned out it was Subaru who was kept waiting. Asaoga led him to sit on one of the plastic chairs outside the door of the director's office and told him that Kumiko-sensei would be with him shortly. After that she had scurried off, presumably called away by some more pressing matter of administration, leaving Subaru to fiddle with the cloth of his gloves wondering just why Kumiko Nagi would want to see him again so quickly and whether Hashimoto was all right. He didn't have to wonder long. Less than five minutes after Asaoga had disappeared down the corridor, he heard the quiet steps of well-heeled ladies shoes coming towards him. Subaru stood up. "Kumiko-sensei," he said respectfully.

The welcoming smile Kumiko Nagi gave was exactly the same as last time. "Hello Subaru-kun. I hope I haven't kept you waiting long?" Subaru replied in the negative. "That's good. Please, come in."

She opened the door and stood to one side for Subaru to enter. Subaru politely did so, and listened to Kumiko close the door behind them. "Take a seat," she said.

"Okay." Gingerly Subaru took the larger of the couches – what was he doing here? – and watched as Kumiko sat down behind her desk. Behind her the curtains were open revealing a living picture of Shinjuku at night. Subaru did his best not to let the neon lights distract him. "Ah, may I ask what this is about?"

"I want to talk to you," said Kumiko. "Something important has come to my attention."

The seriousness of Kumiko's expression made Subaru apprehensive, and it wasn't helped by the knowledge that the woman did possess a level of spiritual power. "What might that be?" he asked warily. _Does she know about my investigation?_

"It's about Kuniko-chan."

That was unexpected. Immediately Subaru's wariness melted into worry. "What about her?"

"A few of the students here at the Institute go to the same school as her. They told me that she had been stabbed in class."

" _Stabbed?_ " Subaru stared in shock. "W-why?"

"By a fellow classmate. The classmate was one of the ones that bully Kuniko-chan, and the two of them got into a fight during art class." Kumiko looked wearied with sadness. "In the struggle the classmate grabbed a painting spatula and used it to slash Kuniko-chan in the face."

"Is she all right?" demanded Subaru.

"The hospital said that she's in a stable condition, but she has received a wound that will never heal." With a small sigh Kumiko stood and went to the window, gazing out onto the lights of Shinjuku in a pose that would have been melodramatic if not for the seriousness of the discussion. "It's a terrible accident," she murmured. "Even more so because of Kuniko-chan. Had she endured, had she patiently persevered, this never would have happened. She should have prayed harder to become a stronger person."

 _Prayed harder_ – "What are you saying?" Subaru asked. Memory flickered – a crying, terrified face, one discoloured with new bruises layered over old— "Are you saying that the stabbing is _Hashimoto-san's_ fault?"

"Kuniko-chan couldn't make her heart strong enough to forgive everyone," explained the teacher. "She was a weak person, too weak to forgive something as petty as her classmate's bullying."

"Petty?" Subaru couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Hashimoto-san gets beaten up every single day at school to the point that she gets stabbed in the face, and you say it's _petty?_ "

"Pain is but a small piece in the greater scheme of one's life. This may be difficult for you to understand, Subaru-kun, because you're still so young, but in time you will see how it is possible to free yourself from pain and attain true strength. _I_ will help you see." Disbelief froze Subaru's power of speech as Kumiko crossed the room and took him by the shoulders with surprising strength. Instinctively Subaru tensed, not so much at the unwelcome invasion of his personal space, but in an automatic resistance against the force of will that Kumiko was bringing down on him. "I know that you're exceptionally powerful," said the cult leader, eyes boring into his. "I also know that you suffer because of your powers. I want to _relieve_ you of that suffering, to rescue you from your pain before it's too late like it was for Kuniko-chan. It's what I'm here _for._ "

Slowly, Subaru's gloved hands curled into fists – at this intimate range listening to Kumiko-sensei was like standing beneath a powerful waterfall, and for once he was thankful for his heritage and training which allowed him to resist. He could only imagine how an ordinary person would have reacted to Kumiko, someone helpless like Hashimoto who had desperately pinned all her hopes onto this deluded woman expecting salvation. Still Kumiko went on. "Imagine it, a life without pain or suffering! A life where you are able to understand and love other people without fear – I can show you how to reach that. I can _save_ you!"

Subaru was unable to contain himself any longer. " _Save_ me?" Abruptly he stood, roughly knocking Kumiko's hands from his shoulders – he didn't want this woman touching him – and glared at her with barely repressed outrage. "You can't save anybody."

The look of astonishment on Kumiko Nagi's face was almost priceless. "What?"

"You claim that with your spiritual power you can understand people's pain," said Subaru coldly. "But you're not me, and I'll tell you right now with absolute certainty that there's no way you can even begin to comprehend my problems. Nor are you Hashimoto-san, you can't understand what she's going through, in fact you probably haven't even experienced anything _like_ Hashimoto-san's pain because if you had you wouldn't be describing it as 'petty'!"

"Subaru-kun—"

"Hashimoto-san is a fifteen-year-old girl. A fifteen-year-old girl who now has to live a permanent scar on her face and you say it's there because she didn't _pray_ hard enough?" By now Subaru was shouting, but he was too angry to control himself. "You're blaming the victim, that's what you're doing! You go around with your power offering people salvation with the condition that they learn to love themselves and stop being afraid, but it's not that simple! All you're doing is building up people's hopes to be dashed to pieces when they discover the world isn't the way you'd like it to be – it's unfair, it's cruel, and you know what? _Bad things will happen to good people for no reason at all!_ "

"He's absolutely right."

The voice from the doorway was unexpected, familiar, and had the power to stop Subaru dead in his tracks. Kumiko also looked startled, and as one, they both turned towards the speaker.

Subaru stared in shock. " _Seishirou-san?_ "

Sakurazuka Seishirou, clad in black suit and long coat, leaned casually against the doorframe and smiled from behind his glasses. It was not a pleasant smile, and it became less so as the man straightened and entered the room with slow, deliberate steps. "Seishirou-san?" asked Subaru, baffled by the man's presence. "What are you—"

Seishirou walked straight past as if Subaru were invisible. Belatedly Subaru realised that not only had Seishirou not given him a single look since his entrance, Seishirou's gaze was completely and utterly focused on the now wary Kumiko Nagi. It was a gaze that Subaru had seen but a few times and always associated with the closure of a hunt—

A hand dropped in front of his eyes bringing a soporific pressure. Before Subaru could finish his thought the world went dark.

 

* * *

 

There were voices somewhere, distant and unclear, like an improperly tuned radio heard from another room. Subaru frowned a little in his sleep, trying to identify who was speaking as he slowly climbed back to consciousness. Why was he asleep in the first place?

"—you're growing to be quite a problem."

 _Seishirou-san_. Subaru dreamily identified that voice with ease, there was no way he could ever mistake it. He strained his ears further, trying to listen, wondering why Seishirou was there … the darkness around him was dissipating gradually, as if he was rising through cloudy water. Who was Seishirou speaking to?

"A problem?" A woman's voice, low and calm. Subaru knew that woman's voice too, remembered being angry with her arrogant attitude to the suffering of others, but why Seishirou talking to such a person he didn't know … "Am I a problem for you? Are you part of another new religious group?"

"Me? I couldn't care less. And I certainly don't have anything to do with any religious organisation."

"Then who says that I'm a problem?"

There was an almost audible dark smile. "Who indeed."

Kumiko Nagi, that was the woman's name. Subaru had been asked to see her in her office and had ended up in a shouting match, but that didn't explain why he was asleep … he tried to get up, a difficult feat when his limbs felt as if they were weighed down with – what? A sleep spell? Yes, that was it, he recognised the way its skeins felt across his mind. But this sleep spell wasn't cast correctly, or rather, it was cast correctly but didn't quite fit, like an expertly tailored jacket that was two sizes too small— "It's no use," Seishirou was saying off-handedly, "your abilities are no match for mine. Though I'm certain you've already realised that."

There was a subtle change in the room's air pressure; Subaru could feel it on his skin. It was a pressure Subaru had felt before and had learnt to associate with the power of the Sakurazukamori … and then it clicked. Why he was asleep, why Seishirou was here and talking to Kumiko, it all added up to only one reason. Urgency gave Subaru adrenalin; he heard a gasp of terror from Kumiko and fought to move, but still his body was too heavy and even his tongue couldn't be made to do more than whisper—

"NO! Stay – stay away from me!" Frantic steps of ladies' shoes, a doorknob rattling. "Somebody help me!"

It was like struggling against gravity, so difficult was it for Subaru to drag himself free of the sleep spell. He threw his mind against it, trying to exploit its weaknesses to open his eyes— "Help me! Somebody, help me! Hel—"

The air was filled with soft pink petals. Subaru managed to wrench himself to his feet just as Kumiko Nagi's screams were cut short. Still moving sluggishly and with sakura blowing into his eyes, nevertheless Subaru forced himself forward trying to get between the hunter and his victim, desperately reaching out and screaming to be heard over the roar of the wind—

" _Don't kill her!_ "

The sakura storm abruptly stopped. Kumiko Nagi's body dropped to the floor with a sickening thud. Subaru stared at it, the terrified eyes that were now blank and dead, but only for a moment. Standing above the teacher's corpse was the Sakurazukamori as Subaru had always remembered him: resplendent in black suit and long coat, an air of predatory danger in his poise. Like a raptor caught with bloodied beak he was turned towards Subaru. His amber-gold eyes were wide.

Subaru knew he should be running for his life. But all he could think about was how he had never seen Seishirou with that look of shock before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- The Yamanote Line is the famous Japan Rail train that goes in a huge circle all around the Tokyo Metro area. It stops at all the major stations such as Tokyo, Shibuya, Shinjuku, Ueno, etc., and is recognisable by the light green stripe along the side.  
> \- Many thanks to Tammaiya for the name 'Kinko-chan' as the name of the puppy in the story Seishirou tells. I originally wanted the puppy to swallow a cell-phone, but I remembered that cell-phones in the early 1990s were bricks, so decided a pager was more feasible.  
> \- Mosburger is a chain of Japanese fast-food restaurants with burgers and chips and drinks etc., but much better quality (and probably healthier) than Western fast-food joints like McDonalds. The best thing there is the rice-burger, where instead of bread-buns they use packed rice with fillings like teriyaki beef.  
> \- In the general election of February 1990 the Liberal Democratic Party of Japan was voted into government despite being battered by a political crisis in the months before. The political crisis was the result of a number of issues, including an insider trading scandal which forced the resignation of the Prime Minister in April 1989. It's worth noting that the LDP lost the 1993 election to the opposition.  
> \- Shinkō shūkyō – a new religious movement in Japan. More info can be found here


	12. Annex IV - Layers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So they would both be continuing the game this afternoon. Hokuto could handle that.

The bell rang at precisely four o'clock, and, opening the door, Hokuto leapt out to catch her visitor in a warm hug. "Sei-chan!" she squealed happily. "So good to see you again!"

Sakurazuka Seishirou laughed, stumbling a bit but somehow managing to balance his grocery bags and the girl whose arms were latched around his neck. "Oof! Hello, Hokuto-chan. You're very energetic today."

"I'm always energetic, you know that." There was a funny smell on Seishirou's skin, and, wrinkling her nose Hokuto dropped lightly back onto the ground. She wondered if it was his cologne. "Come in, come in!" she said, relieving her friend of the grocery bags and waving him through the door. "Did you bring all the ingredients?"

"Brown sugar, white sugar, butter and eggs," replied Seishirou promptly as he took off his shoes. "I wasn't sure how much we're going to make so I bought extra."

"Excellent thinking!" Critically Hokuto watched as Seishirou removed his coat and gloves, her designer's eye running over the outfit that was revealed beneath. Dark grey wool-blend suit, a white shirt that looked like it had just come off the ironing board, blue silk tie with some subtle geometric pattern … the man looked almost exactly the same as that day nearly a year ago when he had turned up at her door half-carrying an embarrassed and temporarily lamed Subaru. Somehow in the months since then and now this man had become her brother's beloved. Hokuto loved him too, but unlike Subaru she did not allow that love to blind her. "Were you working this morning?" she asked.

"Just a couple of hours to check on some patients. Where's Subaru-kun?"

"Oh, he's working today too, unfortunately," Hokuto replied, taking Seishirou's arm again to lead him to the kitchen. "Why, have you been pining away for his presence?"

Seishirou's response to this was unsurprisingly cheerful. "Of course I am! It's very painful, you know, not being able to see the object of your affections every day!"

So they would both be continuing the game this afternoon. Hokuto could handle that. "Oh, poor Sei-chan!" she pouted with exaggerated sympathy. "Don't worry; your sister-in-law-to-be will take good care of you until your darling comes home. Now come on, I've already got the flour and baking powder sifted, so let's start this baking session!"

Smoothly she deposited Seishirou in the middle of the kitchen and emptied the contents of the grocery bags onto the bench. "What kind of cookies are we making?" Seishirou asked, draping his jacket on one of the barstools in favour of the green apron Hokuto had left out.

"Vanilla sugar cookies. A simple snack guaranteed to send you straight to the dentist!" Hokuto began measuring sugar and butter out into the mixing bowl. "Heat up the oven at one hundred and fifty degrees, will you, Sei-chan? Grease the trays as well."

"Very well."

With usual good humour Seishirou did as instructed, easily navigating his way about the kitchen as if it were his very own which was no surprise given how many times he had been over. Hokuto followed him out of the corner of her eye, a thoughtful pout on her lips as she racked her brain for what to do. The invitation to spend an afternoon baking had been a convenient excuse for her to try digging into Seishirou's feelings towards Subaru, but from the opening rounds Seishirou seemed to be taking everything in stride as if he had just seen her yesterday, apparently happy to let her guide their interaction. Hokuto wondered if he knew she was up to something. Being the smart man he was he probably did, but that was okay because Hokuto knew he knew enough to play along. "So, Sei-chan," she said brightly, trying to get the ball rolling again, "how have you been? I don't think I've seen you since that afternoon at McDonalds, what have you been doing with yourself?"

"Nothing exciting, I'm afraid. Work has been a bit hectic as of late so that's kept me busy, but things should be quietening down soon." He stacked the buttered baking trays on top of each other. "What about you?"

"Oh, the usual – school, shopping, homework, keeping my twin brother from working himself to death. Crack three eggs into the mixing bowl, will you?"

Seishirou did as he was told. "Where's Subaru-kun working today?"

"Downtown Shinjuku-ku. He's got a request to investigate some new religious group called the MS Institute, apparently it's suspected of being a cult."

"The MS Institute?"

Seishirou's reply had sounded oddly neutral. Hokuto looked at him and frowned but the man had gone to throw eggshells into the bin. "Yeah, the MS Institute," she repeated, watching him carefully. "Why, have you heard of it, Sei-chan?"

"A little." Seishirou turned to face her, his expression one of complete amiability. "There were a couple of articles about it in the papers recently. So Subaru-kun is investigating that group, hm? When did he start?"

Was Seishirou genuinely interested in Subaru's work or was this more of the casual conversation as demanded by their game? Hard to tell. "Just today, he's gone undercover as a high-school student. Speaking of which!" Hokuto whirled to point at Seishirou with the wooden spoon. "Did you know that Subaru's dropped out of school?"

Seishirou blinked at her. "No, I didn't," he said, sounding surprised. "When and why did he do that?"

"He decided it a few days ago and said it was because he already had a job as an onmyouji. I told him he was being stupid and he shrugged and said that he was already missing too many classes to graduate, and there was no way he could keep up with a university study load anyway if he was doing work at the same time."

"But I thought it was Subaru-kun's lifelong dream to be a zoo-keeper."

"Exactly what I said!" Hokuto cried. "I respect his decision and all, but it makes no sense for him to suddenly turn around and give up. You agree, right, Sei-chan?"

"Hm." Seishirou put a hand on his chin and looked thoughtful. "Well, I have to agree with Subaru-kun's reasons; he was already having trouble juggling work and classes, result being that his health and personal life suffered. And he's correct in saying that he already has a job, one that no one else can do, so he doesn't need to worry about a career."

Hokuto pouted. "Aw, c'mon, Sei-chan, I was hoping you'd help me convince Subaru to go back to school! You're the one with a university degree; of all people I would have expected you to put a value on education!"

"Formal education isn't always a guarantee of success in life, Hokuto-chan, and there are plenty of successful people who haven't gone to university. No, I'm with Subaru-kun on this one – if that's his decision and he's obviously thought it through then I'm with him one hundred percent. Besides," added Seishirou with a wicked wink. "I rather like the idea of playing the bread-winning husband in the relationship."

"Oh, is that how things are between you two?" Hokuto gave her friend a grin. "Well then, Sakurazuka Seishirou-san, you had better be prepared to work to death because I expect you to keep my brother in the kind of lifestyle he's accustomed to with me!"

"I'll keep that in mind," replied Seishirou dryly. "Are you going to discipline me with that spoon or are you going to start mixing up the cookie dough?"

Another change of subject. For a moment Hokuto considered calling Seishirou on it, except that would go against the unspoken rules and she wasn't so certain of herself that she was willing to break out of their usual patterns yet. The man was so good at this game it was sickening, which made Hokuto wonder just how and why he had gotten so good at it in the first place. "Neither. You're a man; you can do the hard work." To emphasise her words Hokuto took Seishirou's hand and gave him the spoon. "Cream the ingredients in the mixing bowl together and I'll add the rest."

"Fine, fine."

Still smiling good naturedly Seishirou took Hokuto's place at the bowl and began to mix strong, easy strokes. Hokuto kept watch over his shoulder, ostensibly so that she could add in the vanilla and salt but with growing irritation. Three feints so far to try and get some real reaction from Seishirou about Subaru, and she was no better off than when she had started. It was even more frustrating because as fond as she was of her friend Hokuto _knew_ that there was something more to him, something that lurked beneath all the gentle congeniality. She had sensed it the moment Seishirou had inserted himself into their lives, but in the interest of Subaru's developing feelings and her real affection for the man she hadn't allowed it to bother her … until Subaru had confessed that things had turned serious. Suddenly the issue of Seishirou's true self was vital and there were too many things, too many little things that she questioned: his name, so close to the title of the Sumeragi clan's ancient adversary, the flatness of the eyes behind the glasses, the smell of—

Hokuto sniffed the air near Seishirou's neck and frowned. That disquieting scent again … "What kind of cologne are you wearing?" she asked bluntly.

"Hm?" Seishirou twisted his head a bit to look at her. "It's an Aramis, got it during one of the promotional sales at the Ginza Mitsukoshi. Do you like it?"

"Let me smell again." Closing her eyes Hokuto breathed in one more, resisting an instinctive urge to gag as she smelt cinnamon, a hint of nicotine and sandalwood over a base note of something … something faintly metallic …

"Hokuto-chan?"

_Blood._

Hokuto's eyes popped open. Blood. That was it, that was the smell that she found so abhorrent on Seishirou's skin, but why was it there? Where had it come from, and how? The logical part of her brain was pointing out that Seishirou was a vet who regularly performed operations, so it wouldn't be surprising that Seishirou had some evidence of the surgery on him, but the excuse rang hollow. She backed away slowly. "The smell suits you," she called out as she went to get the flour and baking powder mix. "Very layered, I highly approve!"

She could feel Seishirou's eyes following her, cool and measuring, and couldn't help but smile a little – finally, a chip in that persistent mask of his. "I'm glad you approve," he said lightly, starting to stir the mixture again which had taken on a dull yellow colour. "Do you think Subaru-kun will like it?"

"He'd have to get up close and personal to smell it," Hokuto retorted a little sharply. Bloodstained hands touching her brother … "I don't think Subaru has done that yet – or has he?"

The sounds of mixing stopped. "Are you implying something, Hokuto-chan?"

"We-ell …" She dragged the word out to inject some cute. "My brother _did_ stay the night at your apartment a couple of weeks ago, and from what he told me when he got home the next morning he had gotten soaking wet in the rain and you 'took care' of him, so you tell me, Sei-chan!"

Seishirou sounded hurt. "I assure you, Hokuto-chan, I was a complete gentleman!"

"Oh?" Hokuto crossed the kitchen back to Seishirou with the bowl of flour mix and a smile that showed all of her teeth. "So what did the two of you get up to then, all alone in your one bedroom apartment on a stormy night?"

"I gave Subaru-kun some hot tea, lent him dry clothes and let him sleep. I took the couch. In the morning I made breakfast, returned his clothes all clean and dry, and dropped him off at the station since he insisted on going home by himself." Seishirou met her gaze directly. "I assure you, on my honour, your brother's purity is still intact at least as far as I'm concerned."

Such cool eyes. Hokuto was inclined to believe them despite the blood-scent – if anything _had_ happened there was no way Subaru would have been able to hide it from her, but to hear it so firmly denied from Seishirou made her feel much better, both about her brother's relationship and about Seishirou himself. That didn't stop her from ragging on them, though. "Aw, I'm disappointed in you, Sei-chan!" Hokuto teased, emptying the flour mix into the mixing bowl. "Here was me thinking you had a perfect chance to make your move!"

She kept a sharp eye on Seishirou as she went to put the bowl in the sink – the chip she had made in his mask was becoming a hole, and now she had to wait and see if he could be provoked. Sure enough, a dark, unpleasant smirk was spreading across Seishirou's face. "What are you saying, Hokuto-chan," the man asked. "Are you telling me it's really all right for me to sink my poisoned fangs into your precious little brother? Would you really allow me to seduce him?"

"If it's okay with Subaru." There, the viper had been drawn out and now it was time for Hokuto to let it know just who it was dealing with. "But."

"But?"

There was a knife in the drying rack, one Hokuto had used last night to cut fish. On sudden impulse Hokuto grabbed it by the handle and spun, hiding the blade in the flare of her skirt as pixie-like she twirled across the floor, once, twice, never stopping – until she brought the knife out and held it against Seishirou's throat. The man's smirk disappeared.

"But if you make Subaru cry," whispered Hokuto, eyes glittering into his. "I'll kill you."

Long silence. Hokuto held the knife steady, wondering if they would stay like this for the rest of the evening, her pressing the edge of the blade against Seishirou's artery, him standing as still as a marble statue and just as cold, until Subaru returned home to force them back behind their roles of madcap sister and friendly vet. She could smell the blood on Seishirou's skin beneath the cologne and thought she recognised her own. Then the phone rang.

Hokuto stepped back with a smile, but didn't lower the knife entirely. "I'll get it," she said sweetly, noting with satisfaction the way Seishirou reached up to touch the skin of his throat. "Finish mixing the cookie dough, once that's done we'll start dropping it onto the baking trays, all right?" With that Hokuto skipped off to dining area still carrying the knife and picked up the phone. "Hello, Sumeragi Hokuto speaking! Oh, good afternoon Nakayama-sensei, thank you for returning my call. Yes, I'm afraid you heard my message correctly; my brother Subaru has decided to leave school. Yes, he's sure, I've talked it over with him and we both agree it's for the best what with his work and all …"

In the kitchen Seishirou was quietly resuming his work, stirring the cookie dough as if nothing had happened. Hokuto watched him carefully – nothing _had_ happened of course, because neither of them was going to tell Subaru about the incident and once she got off the phone the teasing games would resume again, but at least she had made one thing clear: Seishirou could keep his secrets, but he could not afford to dismiss Hokuto. Fond as she was of Seishirou, if Hokuto thought for one moment that he had hurt her brother she would not hesitate in extracting a pound of flesh in retaliation – and there were plenty of knives in her kitchen.

Amber eyes caught hers across the bench. Hokuto met them directly, a wordless challenge in emerald that would never be openly acknowledged, and smiled as they turned away. Score one for the elder sister. Now the rest was up to Subaru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Aramis is a perfume brand launched by Esteé Lauder in 1964 and is predominantly a men's range. By the year 1990 which is the setting for Tokyo Babylon it had eight men's fragrances on the market and although I didn't name my particular pick so that you can make up your own mind, I imagine Seishirou wearing something woody, with a touch of amber, and rich enough to mask the blood.


	13. Save B

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I suppose you want an explanation."

Subaru felt cold. Although the scent of sakura was dissipating from the room it was still strong enough to frighten him. He swallowed nervously, trying to ease his dry mouth. “Seishirou-san—”

The name had barely left his lips before it was cut off. Subaru choked as Seishirou suddenly lunged towards him to violently grab his throat, and before Subaru could even think of a defence he was swung around and slammed violently into the door. White noise blurred his vision for a moment as pain from the back of his head throbbed dully through his skull, and then instinct took over. Blindly he wedged his hand under Seishirou's chin to push with all his might, at the same time planting a foot against Seishirou's chest to propel the man away. It worked – suddenly able to breathe again Subaru dropped to the floor as Seishirou staggered back, but landed awkwardly. Looking down, he realised with a sick feeling that he had nearly tripped over Kumiko Nagi's corpse.

There was a jarring sound, like bone striking glass. Seishirou had stumbled into the coffee table. The shocked expression on his face was gone, swapped for an unreadable, unsmiling mask, probably the closest Subaru had ever seen to anger on the Sakurazukamori, but there was no time to wonder at it. Already black cards were appearing between the assassin's fingers, and in a half-crouch Subaru dashed behind the leather chairs with pulse pounding in his ears. A dry, detached part of his brain reminded him that if he and Seishirou were going to fight right now they would likely destroy the room, perhaps even the building, and heaven knew how many people were still around. He had to defuse the situation, and fast.

Approaching footsteps scraped the carpet. Praying that Seishirou wouldn't attack until he got a clear shot Subaru continued his crawling retreat around the back of the chairs until he was behind the protection of Kumiko Nagi's desk. Once there Subaru had perhaps a second's respite to draw his own ofuda and flick them, not over the desk, but beneath, in strict formation towards the pair of black shoes coming towards him.

The five ofuda slid across the floor and stopped. Subaru doubted Seishirou saw them until it was too late. As soon as Seishirou stepped into the pentagram formed by the ofuda Subaru activated the kekkai, abruptly bringing Seishirou up short behind walls of light. The small kekkai was useless, of course, the Sakurazukamori could break it like a toothpick, but Subaru hadn't cast it to trap. He scrambled to his feet and held his hands up instead.

" _Wait!_ "

To his amazement Seishirou actually hesitated. The kekkai walls sputtered, obviously under stress, but otherwise held. Subaru stared wide-eyed at the kekkai for a moment as the significance of its continued existence sank in, then did his best to meet Seishirou's face. "We need to talk."

Seishirou's amber-gold eyes – sans the glasses, Subaru noticed – were hard. "How did you wake up?" he demanded.

"Your sleep spell didn't work properly. Please, Seishirou-san, we really need to talk. If I take down the kekkai, can you promise not to fight until you've at least listened?"

Seishirou didn't answer, still staring across the desk at Subaru with that unreadable, unsmiling expression that had more than a little disbelief mixed in. It dawned on Subaru then that this was probably the first time he had managed to knock Seishirou so completely off-balance, a realisation that came with no small measure of satisfaction. Knowing Seishirou as he did, though, it probably wasn't a good idea to look as if he were enjoying the moment. "Please?" he asked again.

There was a long silence. Then, deliberately, without ever taking his eyes from Subaru, Seishirou lowered his hands. With a twist of his wrist the black ofuda between his fingers disappeared back into the sleeve they had been drawn from, all except for one. That one was held aloft for Subaru to watch as like a magician before an audience Seishirou pressed its edge through the wall of the kekkai shining around him. At the same time Subaru felt the spell's echo prick into his chest and hastily he began to unravel the kekkai so that when Seishirou did slice the ofuda downwards, the kekkai winked out of existence like a firefly. Still, however, Subaru could feel a light scratch across his ribs. "So, Subaru-kun," said Seishirou calmly, the usual smile back on his face. "What do we need to talk about?"

A small sigh of relief escaped Subaru; the first danger was cleared. No matter what happened from here on out, at least Seishirou was willing to give him a hearing. He couldn't let himself relax, but. "Just – just wait a second, okay?" he said, trying to gather his thoughts before they scattered completely – and there was their silent companion in the room to consider too. One thing at a time, Subaru told himself, carefully stepping out from behind the protection of the desk. Keeping the leather chairs between them he circled around Seishirou, both warily keeping an eye on the other until Subaru finally broke off to kneel beside the dead woman lying on the floor. The expression on Kumiko Nagi's face was frozen in terror.

Subaru's mouth tightened as he looked down at the body. He hadn't liked the woman, had been revolted by her demure arrogance to Hashimoto's suffering, but never had he wished her dead. Still, what was done was done; Kumiko Nagi was not the first victim of the Sakurazukamori nor would she be the last, and Subaru had seen enough death in his lifetime to accept it. Bowing his head Subaru murmured a soft prayer for Kumiko Nagi's spirit and reached out to draw her eyelids shut giving her some semblance of peace. Then there was no putting it off any longer.

Slowly, Subaru got to his feet. Took a deep breath to steady himself before turning around. "I suppose you want an explanation," he said quietly.

Seishirou was watching his actions with intense interest. "So that afternoon with the cat wasn't just bravado," he said. "Given the chain of events since then an 'explanation' might be too simple a descriptive."

 _You have no idea,_ Subaru thought darkly. Now that things had sort of quietened down he could now feel just how tense he was, to the point of almost being sick in his stomach. This situation, this confrontation, he had never seen it coming, never imagined it happening at all except probably as part of the Bet's showdown, result being that he was completely unprepared for whatever was going to take place in this room. His only consolation was that Seishirou obviously hadn't expected any of this either, and was now giving Subaru his full attention.

Seconds were ticking away from them. Taking care not to make any sudden moves Subaru hesitantly made his way towards Seishirou – given the seriousness of the situation it didn't feel right to talk across the room. He sat gingerly down on the three-seat couch, a risky relocation that brought him within arm's length of Seishirou who remained standing, but also one of trust. Subaru had faith that he would be allowed to speak without being attacked, but where did he even _start?_ The Final Day and 1999? Their last fatal confrontation? The bizarre twist of time they were living – heavens, how was he going to explain that without sounding completely irrational? And then of course there was the Bet itself, and their relationship …

Seishirou stared at him with expectant impatience. Best to begin with the obvious first, Subaru told himself, taking a deep breath. He forced himself to meet Seishirou's gaze directly.

"I know who you are. I know you are the Sakurazukamori, the assassin who uses onmyoujitsu to kill, and I know about the Sakura Barrow that holds the souls of all your victims. But more than that, I know about the Bet you made with me nine years ago in your maboroshi when we first met. On that day you marked me as your prey and let me go promising that we would meet again, and that when we did we would spend a year together. If after that year you experienced true feelings for me, you would let me live. If you didn't, I would be killed. We are now in that year, and my fate has yet to be decided. You have yet to decide it."

The silence that followed this was immense. Subaru didn't dare try to guess what the other man could be thinking but he imagined it wasn't pleasant. "And how long, pray tell, have you known this?" asked Seishirou calmly.

Inwardly Subaru could only marvel at the Sakurazukamori's self-control. The Sakurazukamori took great pride in his abilities and the discovery that he had been so completely seen through surely must be galling – and yet there was barely a flicker of reaction on the man's face. "Since early November."

More silence. No surprise, really; given that they were now in the middle of December Seishirou was probably doing some very fast mental reassessments. "And how did you find out?"

"Ah …" Uncomfortably Subaru shifted in his seat – this was the point where he was going to start pushing the limits. "Would you believe me if I said that this isn't the first time we've gone through this?"

"What do you mean."

"I mean exactly that – this isn't the first time we've lived this life. We've already had the Bet once but somehow we've gone back in time and …" He trailed off realising how idiotic he sounded. Worse still Seishirou was already looking unimpressed. Subaru decided to change tactics. "You know about the Final Day, right Seishirou-san?"

The amber eyes narrowed. "What about it?"

"You're a Dragon of Earth, one of seven destined to bring about the destruction of humanity in 1999. I'm your opposite as one of the Dragons of Heaven. You do know all of this, right?"

"Of course I know. What does the Final Day have to do with it?"

"Everything. The Final Day, Kamui, the battles for the end of the world, it's all already happened. 1999 has been and gone, you and I and the Kamui all the rest of the Dragons have already fought. Somehow afterwards we were sent back into the past to relive our lives. I know it sounds crazy and believe me, when I first realised what had happened I thought I was going mad but everything that's happened recently – our trip to the Sunshine Aquarium, those girls on the phone line, the woman whose daughter was murdered, even small things like Hokuto-chan's clothes and conversations we've had, I knew about them, it's all happened once before. We've happened once before."

He spoke so earnestly, trying through verbal force to make Seishirou understand. Given just _what_ he was trying to convince Seishirou of though, he shouldn't have been disappointed when it didn't work. "So you're saying we've gone back in time and we're repeating our lives," said Seishirou. If scepticism had mass there was enough of it in his voice to sink a battleship.

"Basically. Things aren't exactly the same as last time since this conversation certainly never occurred then. But major events have definitely come around again because as far as the rest of the world is concerned time hasn't done anything and this has always been the present." Still Seishirou looked unimpressed, and Subaru felt a twinge of desperation. "Please, Seishirou-san, you have to believe me."

The man studied at him for a long moment, then gave a non-committal shrug. "If you say so, Subaru-kun. You've obviously managed to discover that I'm the Sakurazukamori and you're not the kind of person to make up stories, let alone one so fantastical, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. But if what you say is true, how come you remember all of this and I don't?"

"I don't know. I don't know how it happened, though I suspect Kamui had something to do with it. I don't even know which side won in the end – we died before the battle finished."

Seishirou raised an eyebrow. "We died," he repeated.

"Yes. We killed each other."

The scepticism in Seishirou's expression was now gathering the mass of a cruise liner, and Subaru quickly moved on. "There's more," he said grimly.

"Oh?"

"The Bet. I know how it ends. At least, I know how you ended it last time." He felt his hands clench in their leather gloves. "You decided I lost."

"That's no surprise." Much to Subaru's irritation the Sakurazukamori's response to this was merely indifferent. "So if you lost, why didn't I kill you?"

"You nearly did!" retorted Subaru, eyes blazing. "You broke my arm and had me on the ground of your maboroshi where you kicked me over and over again like a dog. You, ruthless assassin of the sakura, torturing a child too shocked to even scream. The only reason why you failed to feed me to your damned Tree is because my grandmother intervened, and even then all she managed to save of her grandson was a shattered wreck. But that wasn't enough for you, Sakurazukamori, oh no. Even after all you had done, even though you had essentially _destroyed_ who I was, you had to take one more person from me. _You killed Hokuto-chan!_ "

He was shouting before he realised it, hurling the accusations like knives and willing them to maim. To his disgust the Sakurazukamori simply looked thoughtful. "Hm. That doesn't sound like me. You are the one marked as my prey, which means I own your death not your sister's, so why would I kill Hokuto-chan?"

"She offered herself in my stead, hoping that her blood would be enough to buy the life of her brother."

"It wouldn't have worked – one life is not equal to another, especially if one of those lives is that of the thirteenth Sumeragi clan head."

"Then _why did you kill her?_ " shouted Subaru angrily. "If it was pointless for her to offer her life for mine, why did you take it!"

"How am I supposed to know? According to you we've gone back in time and you're the only one who remembers anything, so you should be telling _me_ why. Besides," added Seishirou. "Last I checked Hokuto-chan is still alive and well. Isn't it rather unfair to accuse me of something I technically haven't done yet?"

"That's beside the point! You killed her and unless I win the Bet this time you'll kill her again!"

Seishirou lifted an eyebrow at him. "Win the Bet? Is that why you've kept my company all this time despite knowing that I'm the Sakurazukamori?"

Subaru stopped short and stared up at Seishirou as his anger abruptly lost momentum. "You could say that," he said shortly.

"That's a rather indirect answer." Suddenly Seishirou stepped closer and stood over him, a dark-winged bird of prey staring down a foolish sparrow, and Subaru instantly tensed trying not to lean back into the couch. "You've known who I am for the better part of two months," said the Sakurazukamori, voice low and threatening. "Whether or not your claim of time travel is true, the logical implication is that you're willingly participating in the Bet, and you say you want to win in order to prevent me from killing your sister. However, given how much you know already you should also be aware that the Sakurazukamori is incapable of feeling. Trying to save your sister by making me feel anything for you is exceedingly risky. One would think that a more effective way to prevent your sister's death – and yours for that matter – would be to eliminate the threat entirely. I'm curious as to why you haven't done this yet."

It took a few moments for Subaru to work out what he was hearing. "Are you asking why I never tried to kill you?" he demanded.

"Why not?" countered Seishirou. "I'm the Sakurazukamori. You're the thirteenth head of the Sumeragi. Our clans have been at war for centuries; a pre-emptive strike would be a reasonable course of action."

" _Reasonable?_ " Subaru gaped in outrage. "Reasonable for _you_ perhaps, but not for me!"

"So what, you're continuing the Bet because you're too virtuous to get blood on your hands?"

" _I'm continuing the Bet because I love you!_ "

The words exploded between them before Subaru could stop himself. Seishirou blinked, plainly startled, and too late Subaru reached up to cover his mouth. "What did you say?" asked Seishirou, very quietly.

Wild-eyed Subaru could only stare up at the other man, blood draining from his face as the enormity of what he done sank in. Without the filter of glasses Seishirou's gaze was narrowed, intensely focused like a beam of sunset slicing through a dark room, but there was also a touch of incertitude. It reminded Subaru of that moment before the two of them had died on the Final Day and Seishirou had answered his question, only now Seishirou had both his eyes and his hair was neater and his face … it was the same face and yet subtly altered, without the experience of the years Subaru knew lay ahead. It struck Subaru then that right now in this time Seishirou was twenty-five years old, the same age Subaru had been when they died. The same age that in a way, Subaru still was.

Gradually, Subaru felt his throat unclench. Realised that this was the moment whether he liked it or not. He lowered his hand and met Seishirou's eyes. "I said I love you," he repeated as levelly as possible, a difficult task considering how fast his heart was beating. "I'm continuing the Bet because I want you by my side."

The silence that followed this was brief and tense. "But I'm the Sakurazukamori," Seishirou said at last.

"I know," said Subaru wearily. "Heaven help me, but I know."

"You know who I am and you still love me."

"Yes."

Seishirou seemed to digest this. He stepped away from Subaru, circling the coffee table to the other side apparently deep in thought. Subaru watched him, gloved hands curled tightly in his lap and apprehension weighing in his gut like rotten fruit. What was Seishirou thinking? Obviously the confession had taking him by surprise, but what else? Did it change things? True, the Sakurazukamori didn't care about other people, but still Subaru hoped that maybe, just maybe, his confession would touch whatever inside the man passed for a heart …

There was a low chuckle from across the room. Seishirou was smiling as he turned to face Subaru. "My, my," he said amusedly. "This is a very unusual development, I must say. Not only am I your enemy, Subaru-kun, both in onmyoujitsu and destiny, but I've lied to you and betrayed your trust. Furthermore, according to you I am also the future murderer of your twin sister. Yet despite all of this, you're in love with me." Seishirou shook his head condescendingly. "You're one very disturbed young man, Subaru-kun."

Subaru felt his cheeks burn. "And whose fault is that? You're the one who started this all those years ago with the Bet!" Still Seishirou smirked, an infuriating curve of lips, and seeing that Subaru furiously got to his feet and strode over to confront him, tearing off the bespelled glove on his left hand along the way. The inverted pentagram glowed silver as he lifted it in front of the Sakurazukamori's startled face. "You marked me, Seishirou-san," hissed Subaru. "These marks signify that I belong to you and I do, more completely than you ever anticipated. Laugh at me if you like but yes, despite everything you are and everything you've done I love you and I've done so even before the Bet finished last time. I was just too blind to realise it until it was too late and we died on the Final Day before I could ever tell you. Now you know. Do what you will with the information, however we _are_ continuing the Bet, only this time I'm not a naïve child. I've changed. You're the one responsible for that."

"Is that so." Unexpectedly Seishirou took a step closer, and Subaru forced himself not to move as he felt the faint caress of breath across the back of his palm. For a moment Seishirou studied the brand he had left on Subaru's hand, face eerily bathed in silver light, then he turned to meet Subaru's gaze once more. "You know the fact that you love me doesn't mean anything," he said at last.

Subaru's bare hand did not tremble. "I know."

"Nor does this revelation between us mean that your time will be extended."

"I know. But I want two promises from you, Seishirou-san." Subaru lowered his hand so that the space between them was completely clear. "The first is that no matter what, you don't involve Hokuto-chan. The Bet is just between you and me. Leave my sister out of it."

"And the second?"

Unconsciously Subaru's hands clenched. "Promise … that you really will do everything possible to love me."

Seishirou raised an eyebrow. "That term was part of the Bet from the beginning; I don't have to promise that."

"But I want you to. Promise it, not just as part of the Bet, but as something to me."

For a long moment there was silence. Then Seishirou smiled. "Very well. I promise that as far as our Bet is concerned Hokuto-chan will not be involved, and I also promise that I will do everything possible to love you before our time is up. Other than that, the Bet continues."

Subaru inwardly sighed with relief. "Then we are agreed?"

The smile on Seishirou's face grew slightly. Then, before Subaru could react, he reached down and took hold of Subaru gloved right hand lifting it up between them. Tension as a low pressure closed around their joined hands, then tiny lightning bolts began to appear making the air crackle angrily as the glove still covering Subaru's right hand and the empty glove he was holding were torn apart. Subaru flinched but allowed it, an acknowledgment of the Sakurazukamori's power as singed fragments of black leather fell away revealing the inverted pentagram burned into his flesh, then wordlessly offered up his left. Seishirou took that as well. For a heartbeat they stood there like that, the two of them together, then Seishirou raised Subaru's hands to his lips. Deliberately he kissed the back of them, first the left, then the right, his eyes never leaving Subaru's as he reaffirmed the marks there. The ritual made Subaru shiver; after being gloved for so long the skin of his hands felt almost hypersensitive, and the kiss was gentle and warm.

When their hands were lowered Seishirou was still smiling. "Agreed," he said.

It took a moment for Subaru to compose himself. "Good." Their hands were still joined; reluctantly Subaru pulled away. Still, however, he felt Seishirou's fingers caress his palm, and a slight blush crept over his face as he shoved his hands behind his back. "What's the time?" he asked, hoping to change the subject.

Seishirou checked his watch. "Twenty past seven." He gave Subaru a querying look. "Would you like to go out for dinner? There's a good Chinese place not far from here, and I believe this conversation of ours could go on for a while yet."

"Um …" Briefly Subaru hesitated – was Hokuto cooking tonight? No, she had mentioned something this morning about catching up with her friend from the cabaret club, which meant he didn't have an excuse … he shook his head with self-annoyance. Seishirou was inviting him out for dinner, there was the Bet to think about, and really, the reason why Subaru was in this situation in the first place was because he _wanted_ Seishirou by his side. There was nothing to think about. "Sure," he replied.

A pleased smile was quickly flashed at him before Seishirou went to get the door. Subaru fetched his bag and made as if to follow – then halted. Glanced at the cold shape that had once been Kumiko Nagi. "What about her?" asked Subaru uneasily.

"Leave it." Without looking down Seishirou stepped over the corpse. "Someone will take care of it in the morning."

He opened the door and stood aside for Subaru to pass. For a moment Subaru simply remained where he was, eyes fixed on the dead woman sprawled on the floor like a broken mannequin, until at last he forced himself to move. There was nothing he could do for her, he told himself, nothing that could change what had happened unfortunate though it may be. All he could do was move on.

Seishirou was waiting in the doorway. Taking a deep breath Subaru crossed the floor towards him, giving the corpse as wide a berth as possible until at last he stood nervously beside the other man, the air cold on his naked hands. A flick of a switch made his shadow disappear, then Seishirou pulled the room's door closed. Together the two of them left, Sumeragi and Sakurazukamori side by side down the darkened corridor, and if it was noticed that Seishirou purposely fell a little behind so that he walked at his prey's back, Subaru did not say a word.

 

* * *

 

"Paging Ooyama-sensei, Ooyama-sensei of Internal Medicine, please report immediately to Surgery. Paging Ooyama-sensei …"

Cradling a bouquet of fresh flowers in his arms, Subaru sombrely made his way through the lower floors of the hospital to the recovery section. At this time of day the hospital was busy, not only with rushing nurses but also visiting friends and family, and almost all the doors Subaru passed were open to facilitate the people traffic. The door he was heading for, though, the one kindly pointed out to him by the nurse at reception, was tightly shut. Subaru gave it a light knock.

"Who is it?"

Subaru winced; although the voice was muffled he could hear how thin it was, like old skin stretched over a broken drum. "It's me," he said, trying to pitch his words through the wood. "Sumeragi Subaru. Your school told me where to find you, Hashimoto-san."

"Don't come in here!"

Startled, Subaru jerked his hand away from the door-handle. Hashimoto had sounded almost frantic, as if terrified of being seen … he bowed his head as he remembered the injuries that had been described to him. "I'll just leave the flowers here, then," he replied, carefully placing the bouquet by the door and turning to leave. "I'm sorry to have bothered—"

"Wait!" Subaru paused and glanced back. The door was still shut but at least now it was speaking. "M-may I ask you a favour?"

She sounded so timid, so hesitant, as if fearing a rejection outright. Subaru gently laid his gloved fingers on the door's surface. "Anything, Hashimoto-san."

"I … I still have your handkerchief. The one you lent me in the park when we first met. Would you … would you mind if I held onto it a little longer?"

If truth needed to be told Subaru had forgotten about his handkerchief and didn't really care either way if he got it back or not. But truth didn't have to be told now, not when there was a door hiding his face from hers and the answer would cost him nothing. "Not at all," he replied.

"I want to become strong, you know." The words were fragile, like a collection of tiny glass ornaments. "Not strong in the way Kumiko-sensei talked about, but strong so that I can survive in this world on my own. Before I always wanted someone to come rescue me, which is why I hoped Kumiko-sensei would be my friend … and you too, Sumeragi-kun. I thought that even if Kumiko-sensei didn't help me maybe you were the one I was waiting for, since you said you joined the Institute because of me … but that's all wrong, isn't it."

Subaru closed his eyes. "It is."

He believed he heard the genesis of a smile in her voice. "I thought so. I realised I shouldn't be so passive, allowing people to bully me or sitting around crying waiting for something to happen. I'll remember that every time I look in the mirror now and see these scars—" The sentence was choked off by a sob. "But right now I'm too weak to face you. One day, when I'm stronger, I'll come to you and return your handkerchief, but until that day … will you let me keep it?"

"Of course."

A quiet pause. Subaru imagined Hashimoto smiling then, smiling with tears in her eyes not unlike that evening after their interview with Kumiko Nagi and he had cheered her up. "There's something else," she said.

"Eh?"

"If – if on that day we meet again I told you that I liked you … what would you say?"

Awkwardly Subaru blinked at the door. "I—" He caught himself before he could blurt out something thoughtless and shyly tried again. "On that day … I would say thank you for such an honour, but I already have someone. Someone that I love very much."

"Oh." A small, subdued sound – was it another sob or a soft chuckle? Impossible to tell. "Well, the person you love is very lucky. I hope you will be happy together."

Subaru blushed. "Me too. But I still hope I will meet you again in future, Hashimoto-san."

"… Thank you."

Subaru smiled sadly. Then he pushed himself off the door and walked away, knowing Hashimoto would hear his footsteps disappearing. Whether they would ever meet again Subaru did not know, but in the assumption that he did survive the Bet he would look out for a young woman with a scar on her face who stood up straight and faced the world before her. Until then, he silently wished Hashimoto Kuniko the best for her life.

Outside the hospital, the late morning sunshine was bright and cold. Subaru shielded his eyes for a moment, looking around the car-park. The clinic's van was in the same place it had been when it had dropped him off, and Subaru walked on over to it, his melancholy immediately easing when the side door slid open to welcome him. "Subaru~u!" Hokuto waved at him with a grin, the cheeky devil tail she had added to her black-and-purple outfit dangling from the side of her seat. "How was your visit?"

"It was good." Subaru returned his sister's smile and tucked the tail back beneath her black skirt before opening the front passenger seat door and climbing in. "Hashimoto-san is still recovering, but given time I think she'll be all right. And she promised that she'd visit me someday."

"Uh oh, Subaru made a _date!_ " A dull slam emphasised the last word as Hokuto hauled the side-door closed, and with a mock-scowl she leaned over to the driver's seat. "Sei-chan, you're going to have to watch out!"

Subaru looked to his right. Dressed in a casual blue suit and with his glasses back on, Sakurazuka Seishirou looked completely different to the Sakurazukamori of last night, especially when he lowered the morning paper and pouted over-dramatically at them. "I'm absolutely hurt. Here I am, driving my beloved Subaru-kun to the hospital for a visit, and he arranges a date with a girl. I am completely and utterly heartbroken!"

"Okay, Sei-chan, now you're going overboard. But look, Subaru!" Lightning-quick Hokuto snatched the newspaper out of Seishirou's hands and rifled through to the sixth page. "The leader of the MS Institute you were looking into? Apparently she had heart problems and suddenly died! What a waste of your investigation!"

Subaru raised an eyebrow at Seishirou, remembering the previous night—

 

_"Was it really necessary?"_

_Click of chopsticks on porcelain. "Was what really necessary?"_

_"Kumiko-sensei. Was it really necessary to kill her?"_

_Amber eyes smiled coldly across the table. "Let's just say it was expedient. Why, Subaru-kun, having second thoughts about me?"_

_"No, I'm not." Bare fingers clenched around his teacup. "I just wanted to hear a reason."_

 

—then he turned to stare out the window. "Yeah. A waste."

"Anyway, seems like because of the leader's sudden demise the MS Institute has been immediately shut down." With a sigh Hokuto tossed the paper onto the empty seat beside her. "Guess we'll never know if it really was a cult, then. Though I have to say the _timing_ of this lady dying is really convenient!"

"Why do you say that?" asked Subaru casually. He shot a glance to the man beside him and noted with satisfaction how Seishirou studiously busied himself with the seat-belt.

"What I _mean_ , brother-mine, is that mere days after you've been requested by the government to investigate the MS Institute, the leader carks it and the whole group collapses! The problem that concerned the government so much that they got the Sumeragi in disappears entirely! Not that I liked the MS Institute, but it _is_ a remarkable set of events. Besides, wasn't the teacher only like, thirty or something? Isn't that rather young for a heart attack? What do you think, Sei-chan?"

Carefully Subaru watched for Seishirou's response. "It does look rather convenient, I agree, Hokuto-chan," said the man easily. "On the other hand, it isn't unheard of for people in their thirties or younger to have a cardiac arrest even though they are perfectly healthy. Usually it happens because they have some undiagnosed heart condition, and since a lot of the time there aren't any warning signs the person may pass away while doing something completely normal like taking exercise or sleeping." Deliberately Seishirou glanced down at Subaru's gloved hands. "Or maybe there's another side to the story we're not supposed to know about."

He looked up and caught Subaru's eyes, cool amber to emerald green. As a timid sixteen-year-old Subaru would have immediately blushed and turned away from such a measuring gaze. Even at twenty-five he would have remained on guard. This time however, while Subaru still turned faintly pink, he met it directly, not completely open but not resisting either. It acknowledged the unspoken truth between them: just as Seishirou had lied about his true self so Subaru had lied about his, but now the lies were over. Now neither of them were pretending … and from today the Bet would begin for real.

"Anyway, it's unlikely that we as members of the public will ever know." Without warning Seishirou broke off the gaze and turned the key in the ignition. Subaru felt the van rumble into life beneath them. "Look at the time, no wonder I'm hungry – we should all go out for lunch!"

"That's a rather abrupt change of subject, Sei-chan!" Suspiciously Hokuto stuck her head into the space between the front seats, narrowed emerald eyes flicking from Subaru to Seishirou. "What's going on between you guys? For that matter, Subaru, why are you sitting in the front seat instead of back here with me – _wah!_ "

The van screeched into drive, throwing Hokuto backwards and causing Subaru to scramble for his seatbelt. "Buckle up, you two," said Seishirou with a grin as he changed gears. "What with Tokyo's characteristically terrible traffic we're going to have to be quick if we're to get to Hazuki's before lunch hour rush!"

"The way you drive we'll be lucky to get there at all!" There was a buzz from the backseat as Hokuto pulled out her seatbelt. "Subaru, tell your boyfriend off for bad driving!"

"I, ah, I trust that Seishirou-san will get us there in one piece."

"One piece wrapped around a telephone pole, maybe – hey, _wait a sec!_ " Seatbelt forgotten Hokuto grabbed the back of Subaru's seat and leaned over his shoulder. "You didn't scold me for calling Sei-chan your boyfriend! Does this mean you've told him?"

Subaru twitched and immediately felt his face turn red. "I – I, um—"

"Oh my – you DID! You DID tell Sei-chan you love him!" The delighted shriek was abnormally loud in the van's confines, and in vain Subaru tried to pull his hat down over his burning face only for his sister to start shaking his chair. "When did this happen? Was this last night when I went out? What did you – ack!"

Seishirou pulled them back into a straight. "Sorry, misjudged that corner!" he called out gaily.

"Like hell you misjudged! Now I've lost my hat – aren't you going to say something, Subaru?!"

"Please drive properly, Seishirou-san."

"Yes dear."

"Aw, you guys aren't telling me _anything!_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Hokuto's friend from the cabaret club is the girl she meets in the 'Smile' chapter of Tokyo Babylon, the illegal immigrant with the beautiful Japanese.  
> \- The syndrome Seishirou is referring to where young healthy persons suddenly pass away is known as Sudden Death Syndrome, or Sudden Cardiac Death, which is usually defined as a non-traumatic, non-violent and unexpected event resulting from sudden cardiac arrest within six hours of previously witnessed normal health.


	14. Annex V - Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seishirou had been looking for answers to explain Subaru's behaviour and he had got them in spades to the point that he didn't know what to believe.

It was supposed to have been an easy job. His investigations had shown that the target's spiritual power was nothing compared to his and she was in every other respect an ordinary woman with no combat ability, so Seishirou had expected nothing more than a simple walk in, simple walk out of an assassination. True, there was a slight complication in that Subaru was also investigating the MS Institute, however whereas Hokuto was sharp enough to not only suspect the veterinarian's smile but also hold a knife to his throat Subaru for all his attempts at growing up was too naïve, too idealistic, and quite frankly too gullible to pose any serious risk. Seishirou had considered the young Sumeragi's involvement an inconvenience at most and been confident that a sleep spell would be more than sufficient to ensure his task would be carried out without interference.

Seishirou couldn't have been more wrong. Worst still, he couldn't have reacted more badly. The shout from _that person_ had shattered his focus in the middle of the kill, and when he had turned to find _that person_ not only awake but on his feet attempting to stop the woman's death, the instinct to kill had taken over with particular viciousness because not only was no one supposed to witness the Sakurazukamori at work and live, the interruption had come just at the moment of binding before Seishirou could give the soul to the Sakura. Anger, too, had been a large part of his reaction, which under any other circumstances Seishirou would have found fascinating, and also admittedly bruised pride as well for it was downright embarrassing to be ambushed so by a boy marked as prey, and even though Seishirou had recovered almost immediately he could never take back that moment of shock. And that had only been the beginning of the evening's nasty surprises …

Fractures in time. The bombshell that Subaru already knew he was the Sakurazukamori. Hokuto's apparent death at his hands, and his and Subaru's own deaths at each other's on the Final Day. The confession that Subaru loved him. Seishirou had been looking for answers to explain Subaru's behaviour and he had got them in spades to the point that he didn't know what to believe. Subaru knowing that he was the Sakurazukamori was one thing, but going back in time? It was too far-fetched, too fantastical even for Seishirou who as an onmyouji had a broader definition than most of what was and was not possible, and yet …

And yet. If Subaru's story was true it would make a lot of things make sense, not the least being Subaru's metamorphosis in character. Seishirou had thought for weeks that the boy's behaviour was odd, but to see Subaru so calm in the face of murder was an extreme so far removed from the child Seishirou knew it was like a seeing completely different person – which, if Subaru was to be believed, was exactly what he was. A different person, more mature, more adult and who knew Seishirou's true identity, only Subaru had deliberately hidden it all beneath a guise of wide-eyed naiveté. And Seishirou had been _completely and utterly deceived._

Lights from an approaching car caught them like moths. Seishirou glared at the profile silhouetted before him, the whimsical, childish haircut and the skin showing above the coat collar, and squashed once again the urge to slam his hand through the Sumeragi's ribcage. Such a desire was nothing more than a reaction against the embarrassment – nay, near _humiliation_ – he had experienced, and having lost his self-control once he was not about to let it happen again, certainly not a public street. He was the Sakurazukamori and he would not permit his will to be usurped by impulse no matter how badly he had been shocked, but rather, would regain control through whatever means necessary, which at the moment meant going out for dinner with his prey. They had been walking for a while now, Seishirou carefully keeping two or three steps behind the Sumeragi at all times as they wove through the crowds, and other than an occasional brief exchange to confirm directions it had taken place in complete silence. It was an arrangement that suited Seishirou just fine; he had enough to think about as it was without the added burden of loaded conversation, and even if he wasn't getting anywhere fast with the thinking, at the very least he hoped he was making the Sumeragi feel damned uncomfortable.

Seishirou did not appreciate being made to look like a fool.

Up ahead, Subaru was approaching a lit doorway flanked by a pair of stone lions. "Is this it?" he asked, turning a little to ask the question over his shoulder.

Seishirou carefully schooled his face into a smiling mask – he would not let Subaru see how unsettled he was. "That's it. Ask for a table up the back where it's quieter."

A curt nod was his only reply, and then the Sumeragi turned towards the stone lions to open the door between them and step inside. Seishirou did the same a moment later to find Subaru greeting a cheongsam-clad waitress with a self-assurance that seemed incongruous with the sixteen-year-old Seishirou considered the epitome of shyness, before being led to one of the tables towards the back beside a wooden room divider. The divider was decorated with carved koi fish swimming through lotus flowers, but right now aesthetics came second to extra privacy. Removing his coat Seishirou claimed the stronger chair at the table, leaving the other to Subaru which was somewhat hemmed in by neighbouring customers and more difficult to access. "Would you two like some tea?" asked the smiling waitress as he sat down.

"Yes please, chrysanthemum if you have it," Seishirou replied, gaze never moving from his companion. He noted the wariness on Subaru's face as he manoeuvred his way into the other chair, placing his bag and coat beneath the table. "As for dishes there's only the two of us, so a vegetable hot pot and your roast duck with steamed rice will be fine."

Politely the waitress bowed and disappeared, the order apparently recorded on a mental notepad. Seishirou and Subaru were left alone to face each other across the table.

Neither of them spoke.

Minutes passed, filled with the background sound of cutlery and quiet murmurs. Seishirou ignored it and detachedly studied the face before him, the childish face framed by soft black hair, the large green eyes that gazed at him with a tension that grew increasingly uneasy with each passing moment. Eventually tea was brought which forced a murmured thank you from the Sumeragi, but as soon as the waitress left again the silence returned more awkward than before. Seishirou was determined not to be the one who broke it, something he made pointedly clear by taking out his cigarettes and lighter, because as petty as it was he was determined to win at least one battle tonight—

"I'm sorry," said Subaru suddenly.

"What for?" Seishirou asked neutrally.

"For not telling you earlier. About everything."

Seishirou couldn't help but smile a little; the boy looked so serious it was almost comical. Perhaps this new Subaru wasn't so new after all. "You don't have to apologise, Subaru-kun," said Seishirou calmly, tapping a cigarette out from the carton with steady hands. "Your reasons for not saying anything are perfectly understandable – though, please, don't let me stop you if you insist on feeling guilty. Why don't you pour the tea."

For a moment Subaru stared at him, disbelief tingeing his face. Then he sighed and picked up the teapot. "You don't have to do this," he said quietly as he filled Seishirou's cup.

"Do what?"

"Pretend everything is all right."

Imperceptibly, Seishirou's fingers tightened on the cigarette carton. _Seen._ "Why do you say that?"

"Seishirou-san, you just found out that your entire act hasn't worked," said Subaru patiently, pouring out the second cup. "Not only that, you found out that everything you thought about me was wrong. Even if you are the Sakurazukamori you can't try and tell me you don't care about this – you don't like losing control."

Tension, a sour tightness in his chest … once again Seishirou realised that he was angry, angry that Subaru had measured him so accurately, angry that anger had in one evening become so recognisable to him already … he sensed the Sakura stir at the back of his mind, its slumber disturbed by his mental state, and sharply shut it up. _Not yet._ "Interesting bit of insight you have there," said Seishirou coolly, lighting his cigarette and taking care to keep his expression guarded. "Would you prefer it if I tried to kill you again?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Subaru retorted. "I'm just saying that you have to have questions."

"Hm." Deliberately Seishirou sat back in his chair, took a drag of his cigarette and exhaled, willing the anger-tension to mix with the smoke and expel from his body with only partial success. "Very well, answer me this: if this time reversal story of yours is true, how come you're the only one who remembers anything?"

"I don't know. I did think at first maybe it was because I was involved with the Final Day, but then I realised you didn't remember any of it so that can't be the reason. I have no idea why else it could be."

"Did you ask any of the other Dragons?"

Subaru shook his head as he sipped his tea. "Most of the ones on my side would be children in this time and I don't know where to find them. I know nothing about the Dragons of Earth other than you."

"What about the Kamui?"

"Kamui right now would be a seven-year-old boy. He's best friends with his twin star who is another older boy with a younger sister, and the sister destined to die at one or the other Kamuis' hand. All three of them are very close childhood friends so even if I knew where to find them I'm not going to go disturb their lives, especially if they don't remember."

"That's very considerate, but it means that I have only your word that what you say is true. Why should I believe you?"

There was a small sigh. "I know I can't prove anything, but it is all true. All I can do is ask you to trust me."

"Trust." An unpleasant smile stretched Seishirou's face. "The thirteenth head of the Sumeragi is asking the Sakurazukamori to trust him after acting out a deception for the past two months."

"You can hardly act the wronged party!" Subaru shot back. "You lied to me about your true self ever since the Bet started!"

Seishirou acknowledged this with a sardonic shrug. "Still, until I get something a little more concrete about this time reversal than 'your word', Subaru-kun, all I'm going to give you is the benefit of the doubt." He tapped off the end of his cigarette. "Does Hokuto-chan know?"

"No. And I don't plan on telling her."

"Why not?"

Green eyes met his steadily from across the table. "She's supposed to be dead," said Subaru quietly. "Stabbed through the heart by the hand of someone she called friend. I can't tell her that … and I'm hoping you won't either."

Seishirou raised an eyebrow. "You want me to keep up appearances in front of Hokuto-chan?"

"I want you to take care so that Hokuto-chan doesn't find out."

So of their little trio only Hokuto was still completely ignorant of the situation, or at least, Subaru thought she was. Privately Seishirou thought that Subaru wasn't giving his sister enough credit – that baking afternoon had been a startling display of the girl's perception – and he wouldn't be surprised to find out Hokuto knew far more than she was letting on to her brother. The whole thing seemed to have become a complicated three way he-knew-she-knew-they-knew, and it was unclear just who was holding the most valuable cards though Seishirou had a bad feeling it wasn't him. It was not a position he was used to – and he didn't like it one bit.

Dishes arrived then, a heavy clay bowl of vegetables and a plate of duck with roasted skin gleaming in the low light. A plastic blue rice-pot was set down beside the room divider. Seishirou ignored the waitress, stabbing out his cigarette and leaving the thanks to Subaru who immediately began to serve. Clouds of steam billowed up to the ceiling as Subaru opened the rice-pot, softening the image of his hands for a moment, and Seishirou found himself staring at them, the long fingers curled around the porcelain bowl and fair skin seemingly unblemished to normal eyes. Even dormant the marks called to Seishirou and he had to make a conscious effort to resist as he remembered how it had felt to hold those hands again after all these years. The boy's hands had been remarkably warm beneath his lips, soft, too, since after years of concealment they were completely untouched …

Untouched. Subaru in that girl's coma dream had lost an eye. "In this future of yours, are you half-blind?" asked Seishirou suddenly.

The reaction was immediate; Subaru froze in the act of setting down his bowl of rice and looked up to stare. "How did you know that?" he demanded. "I thought you didn't remember."

"I don't. I saw you during that little job of yours in the Ebisu hospital where you had to wake that coma girl – or didn't you ever wonder where that shikigami came from?"

"No, I realised that was you, I just never said anything." Seishirou's eyes darkened at this, and Subaru shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "So you really did See me then? Why didn't you ask me about it?"

"You weren't supposed to know that I helped you out," Seishirou retorted, perhaps just a little sharply as he reached out to get some food. "So? Why do you only have one eye in this future?"

There was a slight flush on Subaru's face. "I … lost my eye in a battle during the Final Year," he said.

"Was it my doing?"

"No, it was the Dark Kamui. He—" Subaru broke off.

"He what?"

Green eyes clouded over before looking away. "He caught me off-guard."

 

_—a strange, impotent burning, the desire to strike out against the one who had dared touch what was clearly his—_

 

"Seishirou-san?"

Blink – the moment was gone, flickering out of reach like a tiny gnat. It left Seishirou with a slight shiver, but that was easily concealed with a cold smile. "Off-guard, you say? Well, I hope for your Kamui's sake that his other Dragons of Heaven are more disciplined soldiers than you." He helped himself to some food. "So, what are they like? The two Kamui, I mean."

Subaru's expression grew distant. "Kamui – _the_ Kamui, the one who gets to choose between Heaven and Earth … someone so young shouldn't have to decide the fate of the world, let alone fight for it. He's only sixteen when 1999 happens, and an orphan, and despite his sullenness he's a very kind person. In a way that kindness makes his destiny all more the tragic because Kamui has to lose so much …"

Gradually a picture was painted, drawn in words with Subaru's characteristic compassion. Attentively Seishirou listened as Subaru described for him a boy who hid a generous, loving heart beneath an attitude of stubborn self-reliance, a boy destined to suffer and watch his closest loved ones die or worse, have to fight them, a boy that Subaru would be sworn to protect …

"We had a lot in common, perhaps too much, since like me Kamui also had to watch a special person killed by another special person, and because of that we became friends."

… there was something strange, something more than sympathy in Subaru's voice as he spoke of Kamui, something that Seishirou didn't like. "And the other Kamui?" he asked abruptly.

Cut off mid-sentence Subaru blinked at him. "The other Kamui I don't really know," he replied, sounding a little uneasy. "His real name is Fuuma and he was – is, Kamui's closest friend. From what Kamui told me Fuuma is a very caring person with a fierce sense of responsibility to his younger sister Kotori, but as the one destined to be defined against Kamui when Kamui chose to be a Dragon of Heaven Fuuma automatically took the opposing place as a Dragon of Earth. When that happened the personality of Fuuma was overtaken by the Dark Kamui. The Dark Kamui isn't so much a person so much as a force focused on destruction, and the first thing he did was kill his own sister as Kamui watched …"

The words trailed off, the emerald eyes shadowing as if seeing a bad memory. Seishirou found it irritating. "Are they strong?" he asked.

"In terms of power? Very. They have the power to represent or hunt the majesty of the gods, but they differ greatly in how they wield that power. Fuuma – I mean, the Dark Kamui, he has no hesitation in fighting Kamui and doesn't care about the death and destruction he causes. Kamui on the other hand—"

"—doesn't want to watch people die let alone kill his friend, I can see where this is going," finished Seishirou, nodding thoughtfully. "Interesting. And it's upon their shoulders that the fate of the world rests. You would think teenage boys would be the last people upon whom to pin such responsibility, but if that's what destiny has foreordained so be it. But presuming that everything you say is true, what does it mean? Is the Final Day to come again or has everything been decided?"

Subaru looked even more uneasy. "I don't know. The past is now the present, so logically it means that 1999 is still to come, but arguably the Final Day has already happened and shouldn't need to happen again … I can't say."

"You really have no idea."

"No."

"Hmph. Which means, I suppose, the only thing to do is wait until we get to 1999 again. Ah well." Seishirou gestured with his chopsticks at the dishes between them. "Do eat up, the food's getting cold."

The point was made, the subject changed. Seishirou reached out for some more meat and vegetables – after tonight's events he wasn't feeling particularly hungry, but at least eating would excuse them both from talking for a little while. If Subaru noticed this he made no sign, slowly picking up his own chopsticks and starting with the vegetables, though he did give Seishirou a long, unreadable look as if weighing up and deciding against saying something. Seishirou found himself disconcerted. Used as he was all this time to a Subaru who would bend and wilt under everything he said, this deliberate passivity was something new entirely, and it was far too early for Seishirou to have any measure of it.

Could Subaru be telling the truth? Could they really have gone back in time to relive their lives? Common-sense and logic scoffed at the idea but given how much Subaru had told him in that much detail … Seishirou could not be sure. There was doubt, an uncertainty that kept saying _maybe, maybe it's all true, maybe things are more than they seem and maybe you can trust him._ Actually it was not unlike the quiet impulse that had made Seishirou give his true birthday in that silly compatibility test with Subaru, an association that disturbed Seishirou greatly. To this day Seishirou hadn't quite figured out why exactly he had done something as risky as revealing his birth details to the head of the Sumeragi, but it had felt rather like he had conceded something. A surrender, in fact. But what exactly had he surrendered to?

Thick silence stood between them. Subaru was looking at him again, he could feel it. "Can I ask you something?" the boy asked.

"What is it?"

"Last night when you came over for dinner … why did you leave so suddenly?"

Imperceptibly Seishirou's fingers tightened. Last night's flirting had started out as an impulsive bit of fun that had ended up as something far more serious. From the very beginning of the Bet Seishirou had set limits upon himself with regards to how far he could take his act with the admittedly attractive Sumeragi, with the policy being that he could only go as far as the boy was willing. As things turned out Subaru was not only ridiculously naïve but shy to the point of displaying something close to fear every time the subject of intimacy with Seishirou was brought up, yet despite the temptation Seishirou had adhered to his limits as a point of pride in his self-control – at least until last night. Last night Seishirou had found himself a kiss away from saying to hell with the Bet's rules, and to have his self-control challenged so seriously by his prey, especially now with these new revelations ...

 

_"We died."_

_"Yes. We killed each other."_

 

—"Exactly the reasons I said," Seishirou replied curtly – there was something in that line of thought he didn't want to think about yet and this was not the time to be distracted. "I had work the next day, and besides, it didn't look as if you wanted to play."

Subaru reddened a little at this but his expression was accusing. "By 'work' you mean killing Kumiko-sensei, right?"

"Actually I was referring to my day job. Believe it or not, Subaru-kun, I do have other things to do than kill people. Speaking of that teacher, what were you so worked up about when I walked into the office anyway?"

The green eyes looked a little embarrassed. "I … I was angry. Kumiko-sensei made me angry, I mean. She had just told me that Hashimoto-san had been stabbed by the bullies at her school, which was bad enough, but then Kumiko-sensei said that what had happened was all Hashimoto-san's fault. The way she viewed it Hashimoto-san was being punished because she too weak to forgive the ones who hurt her … it hit a little close to home." Unexpectedly Subaru gave a soft laugh but there was no mirth in the sound. "And then Kumiko-sensei said that she could sense my suffering and offered to save me from myself. I told her that there was no way that she could possibly understand the problems I was facing and that she couldn't save anybody – for all her power and good intentions she was a fraud offering a salvation she couldn't give." Seishirou said nothing to this, nor did he give Subaru any attention as the boy looked at him. "Was it really necessary?" Subaru asked.

"Was what really necessary."

"Kumiko-sensei. Was it really necessary to kill her?"

Seishirou smiled coldly across the table. "Let's just say it was expedient. Why, Subaru-kun, having second thoughts about me?"

"No, I'm not. I just wanted to hear a reason."

"From where I'm sitting I'd say you've just given some reasons yourself," Seishirou replied, resuming his meal and ignoring the green glare that was shot at him. "In any case it's done now so I advise you to get over it."

Subaru ignored this. "What about in general then?"

"What do you mean."

"If you won't tell why you killed Kumiko-sensei, then what about people in general?"

"Curious, are you? Why don't you ask your grandmother, I'm sure she would have lots to say."

"She does, and she has. Her view is that centuries ago your clan corrupted the onmyouji tradition that our family upholds, and you kill in order to maintain and gain more power."

"And do you share this view?"

"I believe you're more complicated than that."

To this Seishirou could only smile. "I'm an assassin, Subaru-kun. That means I kill people at the request of other people and get paid for it, however don't for one minute think that makes me a yakuza's hit-man for hire. I _choose_ what assignments to accept and from which clients – and believe me, the names on my client list run just as high as yours. Some of them are even the same." Seishirou's smile grew at the rigid look on Subaru's face and he let his voice grow soft. "However. There are other assignments, assignments that 'need to be done' as a measure determined not by some paying third party but divined by powers less than material. Assignments that could target even those clients who have called on me in the past. I have my place in the order of things, and that place is just as necessary as yours. As for the rest … it's because I can."

Silence, finally, from the other side of the table. Subaru's green eyes were flat. "I see," he said at last, and then purposefully drank his tea as if to physically stop himself from commenting any further.

Seishirou chuckled. "If it's any consolation, Subaru-kun, my Bet with you certainly wasn't any 'assignment'; it was purely something for myself and if I kill you it will be for those same reasons. Do you plan on finishing your dinner or shall I ask for the bill?"

Subaru blinked, glanced down at his half-eaten plate, then shook his head and pushed it away. At any other time Seishirou would have made some quip about how Hokuto expected him to make sure Subaru ate properly, but after everything that had happened tonight such jokes felt asinine. He needed space, he realised as he waved the waitress over to give her a sheaf of notes, space to think about and analyse everything he had found out tonight and decide how to proceed, and more importantly, space away from the damned Sumeragi who was the cause of everything.

Except he couldn't stay away forever, or even for too long. There was still about two months left in the Bet, and Seishirou had given his word that it would continue. Being a law unto himself his word was far more binding than any rule could be, and Seishirou had too much pride to call off a game just because he didn't like the way things were going. Until the Bet was over, he would have to stay with Subaru.

Seishirou couldn't help but feel somewhat trapped.

A flash of red, and the waitress reappeared. "If you care to check the amount, please," she said, handing Seishirou the change and a receipt. "Did you enjoy your meal?"

It was automatic now, to switch to that other persona, the one he wore in front of other people. The other persona that was now useless on Subaru. "Oh yes, it was just what we needed. Don't mind Subaru-kun's plate there, he never eats much."

"'He' – you mean, he's a boy?" The waitress stared at Subaru, who immediately turned pink under the attention, and her expression grew mortified. "I'm sorry, I thought all this time your companion was a girl and you were on a date!"

"Subaru-kun gets mistaken for a girl a lot, don't you, my dear." Subaru muttered something under his breath, shifting uncomfortably as the waitress bowed and profusely apologised. Seishirou's grin widened. "But I wouldn't worry, _onee-san_ , you were correct about one thing. We _are_ on a date."

To this the waitress reacted much as Seishirou expected – wide eyes, at loss for words and so forth – but that was unimportant. Across the table Subaru's pink face was averted towards the floor, his attitude one of obvious embarrassment as the waitress looked between the two of them in shock. Seishirou felt his smile twist a little – now _there_ was the Subaru he was familiar with, and given everything that had happened tonight it was a rather reassuring sight …

 

_"I said I love you. I'm continuing the Bet because I want you by my side."_

 

Perhaps there was some advantage in this new order of things.

There was a sound of scraping chair legs as Subaru hastily stood and grabbed his things to go. Since the waitress was apparently still trying to wrap her head around the idea of a man and a boy on a date Seishirou retrieved his change and left a handful of small coinage for her to belatedly scramble after as he left. Subaru was pointedly not looking at him, but Seishirou put a hand in the small of his back anyway to effortlessly guide his 'date' through the tables and other diners to the exit and then hold open the door. Assassin he may be, one thing Subaru could never fault him for was a lack of courtesy and consideration – and besides, playing up for an audience was _always_ amusing.

Cold air and an audible change in noise level as they stepped over the restaurant's threshold. Seishirou let the door swing closed. "Well, this has been a fun night," he said pulling on his coat. "Is there going to be a third act or do we start again tomorrow?"

Seishirou had spoken brightly but he kept a careful eye on the Sumeragi, again taking care to position himself so that it was impossible for the boy to make any surprising moves. Not that it seemed to be needed – there was still a fair bit of pedestrian traffic around and Subaru had his now bare hands buried in his coat pockets for warmth – but still. "I … think I'm going to go home," said Subaru slowly. "Hokuto-chan might be back already, and I don't want her to worry. Tomorrow I'd like to see Hashimoto-san."

"What for?"

"The attack put her in hospital. She doesn't have friends who would visit her, so I want to check on how she's going."

"Suit yourself. Would you like me to drive you?"

Subaru blinked at him as if startled by the offer. "Are you sure?"

"Why wouldn't I be? My schedule at the clinic tomorrow is fairly light."

For a moment Subaru stared at him, but then a shy smile appeared on his face. "It would be nice if you drove, yes."

"Then I shall pick you and Hokuto-chan up at, say, eleven in the morning? We can go out to lunch later – unless, of course, you know of something important happening tomorrow we should prepare for, a major earthquake for example?" Subaru shook his head. "Then I shall see you tomorrow."

He gave a slight bow, courteous, as always, to the end. It was also a decidedly cooler and more distant farewell than what he usually gave to Subaru when acting out his veterinarian's façade, a subtle point that didn't miss Subaru, who looked a little uncertain as he returned the bow. Not that the Sumeragi said anything, giving Seishirou a feeling of being indulged in, only glancing over his shoulder once as he began to walk – hurriedly – away.

It seemed that both of them were rather glad to get away from each other.

An endless staccato of heels and shoes passing left and right. Restlessly Seishirou watched Subaru disappear into the stream of people; part of him still wanted to follow and hunt the boy down, to kill him as soon as possible not only for the humiliation of tonight but to eliminate what was now a very real threat, but that was also the part of him that felt anger and Seishirou refused to let it be his guide. Besides, he had already given his word that the Bet would continue and Seishirou was far from ready to admit defeat—

Something was watching him.

Seishirou didn't react. Deliberately he reached into his pocket for his cigarettes, tapped one out and lit it, looking for all the world like any other man enjoying a smoke. As he did so he leaned back against one of the restaurant's stone lions, casually scanning the street before him as his mind delicately looked for … there. A single spark of magic, four stories up across the street in the form of a bird. No, not a bird, a shikigami. One with a distinctly Sumeragi signature.

Grey smoke clouded his face as Seishirou let his probe quietly diffuse, silently swearing under his breath. As if his night wasn't bad enough already … with narrowed eyes he looked up, now that he knew where the shikigami was he could see it, a speck of pure white against a darkened office window on the far side of the road. The problem was that if he could see the shikigami the shikigami could certainly see him, but the question was how long had it been watching and what had it seen. Seishirou was certain it hadn't been around when he and Subaru had entered the restaurant, and by default he always kept his aura concealed so he was confident it was highly unlikely that the shikigami – most probably Lady Sumeragi's since it certainly wasn't Subaru's – could pick him out as someone out of the ordinary. His face however was a different matter—

The white speck suddenly spread wings. Seishirou immediately tensed, but he need not have worried. Instead of coming towards him the shikigami's flight path was taking it down the street, following the direction in which Subaru had gone. Whether or not Lady Sumeragi had dismissed Seishirou as a person of interest it was impossible to tell, but what was interesting was how much of a distance her shikigami was keeping from Subaru. If he had to guess Seishirou would surmise that Lady Sumeragi had been alerted when the protective spell on Subaru's gloves had been destroyed and was now checking up on him, but apparently she didn't want Subaru to know she was checking on him. It made Seishirou smile; parents – or in this case, grandparent – were all the same when it came to their children. Thankfully for Seishirou he had killed his …

 

_"Now you are the Sakurazukamori. And the next Sakurazukamori will be the one who kills you."_

_"Oh? I wonder who will kill me, then."_

_"It will be the person you love most."_

 

If Subaru had been telling the truth about the Final Day, did that mean—?

"Excuse me, but may I borrow a light?"

Irritated, Seishirou glanced up. Before him stood a young man, a teenager, really, older than Subaru but judging from his clothes obviously nowhere near as well brought up. He was holding an unlit cigarette; his other hand hung loose by his side. Harmless, but if there was one thing that Seishirou had learnt tonight was that looks were deceiving … with a shrug Seishirou held out his lighter, encouraging the stranger to come closer. He wasn't particularly surprised when the stranger sidled up to him to catch the flame, and he wasn't particularly surprised that when the stranger pulled away the pocket where he kept his wallet was noticeably lighter, however Seishirou refrained from reacting. Only after the stranger had thanked him and sauntered away did Seishirou crush his own finished cigarette and begin to quietly follow. Indulgent though this might be, there was something he needed to do.

Hours later, in the dead of night in Ueno Park with blood soaking through his sleeve, Seishirou patiently waited as the Sakura's branches slid languorously through the ragged hole in the pickpocket's chest, making the corpse twitch for a moment like some grotesque puppet before bursting through the skin in an explosion of tiny flowers. It cut off the soul's screaming like a beheading, and only then did Seishirou demand the Sakura's attention, opening his mind and letting it see and experience everything that had happened with Subaru, his revelations and claims. He presented it to the Sakura not so much as a story but as a feast, for while the Sakura had a consciousness it was one completely inhuman, and to it time and the order of things was less important than what. Then Seishirou asked his question.

_Do you remember anything?_

Rustle of branches like old bones. … _No._


End file.
